DAY 17
WEIGHT - 216 (+10.5)
UPDATES -
Alright so i havent updated this is about 5 days... let me explain what has been up in the life of the The Cook.
So i was / am dating this chick. she's not a real person though, she's a stripper. somehow she came to be living in my condo and i dont really know how it ever came to be. i tried to get her to leave, ive tried to end it and it just doesnt seem to happen. i wake up and like a bad dream, b!tch is still there.
Now that leads me to the next part of the story... i am not a faithful "boyfriend" but remember she is a stripper, what do you expect?? you cant turn a ho into a housewife... i found out that i impregnated some random. she wants to keep it. way to go me, i knock up the one girl who wants to keep a baby with a clear cut scumbag dead beat father. awesome... now back to the stripper... my buddy bet me that i wouldnt tell her, via a facebook update haha... im not one to back away from a bet, i aint no b!tch haha. so my facebook status became (thank you usher):
The Cook needs to tell you "remember that chick i was creepin with, said she's three months pregnant and she's keepin it" ... sorry.
so thats how she found out. she still wont leave though. like have some self respect girl, im awesome and all but really? i just told you i knocked up another chick via a public facebook status update.
but here is where it gets really interesting and really effects the cycle:
KARMA IS A MOTHERF UCKER.
24 hours later. yes just 24 hours after my a$$hole maneuver, i start burning up like a mofo... when i piss. yes folks i got clamydia... so...
i had to get those pills that help flush your system and get rid of it. so i was puking and sh!tting for like three days. it was gross. i was puking up food i didnt even eat, ****ting out the remnants of a big mac that had been plastered to the inner walls of colon since 2001.
somehow thank god i was able to keep my weight up. yes i wasted a few days, yes i still trained though, but here we are a few days later and i weigh the same. thank you baby jesus.
btw... i crushed up an extra set of the pills and put them in the "girlfriends" morning shake so she wouldnt get the clap too... and that way she just thought she got the flu, rather than having to be honest with her... i had enough honesty for one week.
that is all.
...your lucky all you got was the clap!!!! you might want to get tested, I know the voice of reason here...just saying....
