Girlfriend of 5 yrs broke up with me..
- Thread starter Jordanbid
- Start date
DBdude
Member
Friends can help alot too. The more you can keep yourself busy and productive, the better. I know when I broke up with my gf of 4 years it was tough but I put those feelings towards productive things like weight training and school. Worst thing is being alone, surround yourself with people, fun loving and active people. I find others emotions and moods to rub off on me when I'm around them.
Worst thing is a rebound girl or drinking. Drinking when your sad leads to alcoholism because it becomes your crutch to deal with the pain. Suck it up and be a man about it. We are independent and strong. Don't go looking for another girl because chances are it will be a terrible girl that might just make the pain worse. Even if it's a good girl what will happen is all the negative built up emotions you had from the previous relationship will just get transferred to the next girl. Be a man. We're strong, be strong.
Worst thing is a rebound girl or drinking. Drinking when your sad leads to alcoholism because it becomes your crutch to deal with the pain. Suck it up and be a man about it. We are independent and strong. Don't go looking for another girl because chances are it will be a terrible girl that might just make the pain worse. Even if it's a good girl what will happen is all the negative built up emotions you had from the previous relationship will just get transferred to the next girl. Be a man. We're strong, be strong.
Conagher
Active member
Rebound girls always worked best for me.While these things hurt at first,in the long run this will probably work out in your favor.Give it time and a better girl will come along and make you forget all about this one
Spongy33
New member
Hey, I know I'm brand new to the forum, but this thread caught my eye. I feel ya bro. My girlfriend of 7 years broke up with me during our last year of college and it was really hard. The above poster's are right about the typically responses you'll get, but the honest truth is you need to do what's right for you. For me that was lots and lots of cardio. I'm not recommending that, but you have to remember that the stress from a breakup can affect you in every way, whether it be your lifts suffering, your eating suffering, or even your cholesterol going up.
The other thing I did was find another girl. But not a girl to just bang around. I actually found an incredible girl that I could flirt with, talk with, and just generally have a great time with. To this day she is probably the most amazing person I've met, and she helped me get past what I was feeling. Yeah, the rebound screw can be awesome, but so can having a genuine connection.
Long story short, you're young, you're fit, you'll be fine.
The other thing I did was find another girl. But not a girl to just bang around. I actually found an incredible girl that I could flirt with, talk with, and just generally have a great time with. To this day she is probably the most amazing person I've met, and she helped me get past what I was feeling. Yeah, the rebound screw can be awesome, but so can having a genuine connection.
Long story short, you're young, you're fit, you'll be fine.
GeekPoop
Well-known member
same situation for me except it was like 5 almost 6 years.
best advice i can give, stay busy. friend asks to do something you dont like, go. busier you are, easier it is. take down all pics n **** that remind you of her too. any sentimental items hide them or throw them away
best advice i can give, stay busy. friend asks to do something you dont like, go. busier you are, easier it is. take down all pics n **** that remind you of her too. any sentimental items hide them or throw them away
Onlychevy6
Well-known member
Guys look at it this way you all have good advice. Everything happens for a reason. It may hurt now but better things are just around the corner. For the moment at least you will be able to hopefully save some money by not spoiling your now ex. And now you can focus on you. It does not matter if it is to focus on religion or more quality time in the gym. Either way make the best of it and stay positive.
ambulldog
Well-known member
"trying to find a new girl right away" about the worst possible thing you could do bro. if you are actually thinking that way i advise not even having a rebound play thing. you will latch on. dont try to replace whats missing with the same thing. as others have said do the other things you enjoy.
most importantly. be alone for a while and clear your head. get your own identity back not your couples identity you have become accustomed to. seriously bro you are not ready for a gf or even dating. give it a solid few months. i had made your mistake in the past. i rectified by taking almost 2 years off from women and getting comfortable in my own skin with who i am. after 2 years i started dating again and met a wonderful woman who is now my wife. and yes my hand got tired over that 2 year period
swollen87
Well-known member
had the something simmilar happen to me
i went into a halfway house- she left me
solution=talk about it with safe, supportive people..........put plainly, get over it, find a better girl... obviously it wasnt meant to be........
you reaching out and making this thread is the first step to getting over it and starting a new (hopefully better) relationship with someone else....... or better yet, staying single and smashing as many girls as possible
i went into a halfway house- she left me
solution=talk about it with safe, supportive people..........put plainly, get over it, find a better girl... obviously it wasnt meant to be........
you reaching out and making this thread is the first step to getting over it and starting a new (hopefully better) relationship with someone else....... or better yet, staying single and smashing as many girls as possible
Jordanbid
Banned
ya i will incorporate all of your guys advice i just feel that if i dont have a girfriend im going to be very lonley..i dont have a whole lot of friends and i really enjoyed having a gf be there with me all the time. I do get what your saying by find my own identity again, that makes sense. thanks guys
ambulldog
Well-known member
you gotta do it bro. i remember when i did it it sucked, big time, well for the first few months. i didnt think i would make it on my own those first few months. then gradually i was like man being alone is awesome. then after a few months i was like i dont even want a gf. then when i was happy and comfortable with myself i put myself on the market. difference was i was not really looking cause i didnt have that need to be with someone(which you have now). i felt confident and knew that a woman was gonna have to be special and prove herself to me cause I DIDNT NEED THEM.
take up some new hobbies if you have to and youll meet people that way. just avoid the temptation to get involved with women for a while. itll be the best thing you ever did in the long run cause if you latch on to one now youll be going thru this again in no time, i guarantee it
Rodja
Board Sponsor
I was in the exact same situation as you at a similar age and it was one of the hardest things I had to do. The first thing you'll probably notice is that there is a huge age/progression that you may have missed out on because you were in a relationship. The hardest part for me was when I tried to go out and meet people because I was still used to things working as though they did in HS and it took me several months to force myself to accelerate my growth as a newly single person. I nearly lost contact with most of my friends during my relationship, but I made it a point to hang out with them more. What will be difficult is forging your identity again, but that will come with time.
The most important thing to remember is that it is perfectly ok for you to be extremely affected by your situation. I know I found myself breaking down over random ass things that would click in my head. Spend a lot of time with your friends, focus on your hobbies, and go out and mingle. Don't think about hooking up with someone, even though it probably would help you to feel attractive again, but go out and interact with new people in a new environment. Take a few friends out and go to casual bar, but make sure you put some ground rules down for your friends. They'll be tempted to force you into action, so you should let them know the extent of your comfort.
The most important thing to remember is that it is perfectly ok for you to be extremely affected by your situation. I know I found myself breaking down over random ass things that would click in my head. Spend a lot of time with your friends, focus on your hobbies, and go out and mingle. Don't think about hooking up with someone, even though it probably would help you to feel attractive again, but go out and interact with new people in a new environment. Take a few friends out and go to casual bar, but make sure you put some ground rules down for your friends. They'll be tempted to force you into action, so you should let them know the extent of your comfort.
Jasen
Well-known member
Yupp its a difficult situation honestly, I went and got a new GF asap to keep my mind busy and till this day it was my longest relationship I broke up on and easiest breakup. basically its all science. When your in a relationship the happinese causes rise in dopamine and seratonin I.believe so for you to be juat fine, find a way to stimulate these again like hangin with friends a new gf or diff activites. honestly if ur into AAS jump on a low test cycle its the best! Antibdeppression and safest IMO. keep urself entertained with as many things as possible. Try POF too
swollen87
Well-known member
im sorry but did you really just tell this poor man to solve his problems with steroids??
noooo, thats not right bro... walk through the feelings and deal with them, dont mask them with drugs
Jasen
Well-known member
Masking with drugs imo would be abusing cocaine heroin X etc etc. not Test. Its already in ur body and the fact this whole.thing is causing deppression and probably already lowering his T lvls. My opinion is not.chnaged. In fact I had a customet.last night who complained about always.being.angry deppressed and azzhole then jumped on T and everything was soooo betyer he decided to stay HRT. I'm not saying abuse test, just a slight T cycle for a few months would keep him happy through the rough parts and help.keep him busy. I in no way believe abusing drugs heals wounds, keybword abuse. Heck I dont even take painkillers. Even when ibtore my ACL no.painkillers
southpaw23
Well-known member
I like the first 3 but you're a lot more sensible than I am.
swollen87
Well-known member
testosterone is a drug.... while i dont see it as something like coke x or heroin, its still a drug ...
i agree test will make you feel good, but thats artificial... if hes got healthy test levels, he shouldnt mess with them right now.....
the ups and downs that come along with running cycles plays a big enough role on someones mind, i wouldnt wanna do that(or reccomend it) to someone who is needing to grieve the loss of a 5 yr relationship... its just not the answer
Jordanbid
Banned
ya i was actually thinking of running some hdrol for my first ph but i dont want any depression as idk what id do with myself at that point. I would really enjoy seeing some new muscle right about now lol but thats why im bulking...So ya i think i have to find atleast some girls to text i have this feeling right now of being "wanted" by someone you know what i mean guys?
Conagher
Active member
Exactly.That is what rebound girls are for.Whatever you do,don`t overthink the situation to much.There is no rhyme or reason to what girls do.
ambulldog
Well-known member
read his posts hes not looking for a rebound girl. hes already thinking of replacing his long relationship gf. its not a healthy move.
to the op. when you think you are at a point where you can just go bang a chick and be done with her thats fine. in your current condition youll fall head over heals in love with the first girl thats nice to you. you're not seeing what im saying here. what you are gonna do is replace you gf with a new girl. problem is she wont be your girl. one of you will end up hurt for certain.. again take some time to yourself.
i think doing a cycle is a good idea. a nice long one. make sure to add a healthy dose of deca so your junk wont work. youll be forced to stay single and pack on some nice mass
Jasen
Well-known member
Hahahah the last part was funny. A cycle would keep.ur.mind busy, but! It may also increase ur deppression as well. life is about break ups I had many tough ones its a bitch and on flip side I also don't have many close buddies to keep me busy. My advice is, read books or try a difficult hobby. Anything to keep mind busy. Last thing u need is clomid and break upmixed, I had it twice.... Now a days I do anything to just keep my mind busy.from reading alot to exercising until im exhausted. If u have close.family try spending more time with them. I always do that
TheMeatus101
Well-known member
Set your mind on lifting for a while. Once you make some new PR's, and see a body change, your confidence will sky rocket and you'll see you were too good for her. The WORST thing you can do is go looking for a chick BECAUSE of the fact that your gf dumped you, go look for a girl because YOU WANT ONE, NOT because shes a rebound.
oli
Active member
Great answer! I lost one after 7 years. I did the first set of answers and it def. lead to some addictions ( gone now ). But seriously, when you get your mind right, just get back to who you were before that girl. I got back into lifting weights like a champ. Hang out with your buddies/family - you'll be alright man. You're def. allowed to have your own grieving period, but you will be OKAY. Keep your head up buddy - there are plenty of better women out there.
DYEGYE
Member
THIS. Wasted several months of my life over a girl I couldn't have. Never again.
Just wait it out, and do the other things you love. Work out, etc. Life has a funny way of working itself out.
ambulldog
Well-known member
thanks guys im going to the bar on thrusday night and im going to fall in love with the first whale i see......lol jk ya im just going to be single for awhile and focus on my goals in life and possibly run a cycle
good to hear bro. you really do need some you time. theres nothing wrong with being alone for a while to clear your head. a new woman would just cloud your judgement. im not meaning to preach but i made same mistake a while back and it f'd me for years to come. thats when i took my 2 year hiatus from da bitch#s and my life changed for the better
Flaw
Well-known member
Don't isolate yourself. Stay busy and find a few friends to talk too. Girls will gladly listen to a man with a hurting heart. Eventually one of those girls might become your new girlfriend 
Whatever you do don't rush into a new relationship, take time to heal and make sure your ready to be with someone again otherwise you won't be fair to your rew gf.
Whatever you do don't rush into a new relationship, take time to heal and make sure your ready to be with someone again otherwise you won't be fair to your rew gf.
madds87
Well-known member
What helps me bro when im single i pick up a sport hobby or something. Ill go to the bars and shoot pool. I wont drink, or if i do ill have one beer or even just cranberry juice. It looks like im drinking but im just having juice and its cheep. but playing pool always keeps my mind clear and meet new people. you will actually start meeting women not even meaning too.
but playing pool always keeps my mind clear and meet new people. you will actually start meeting women not even meaning too.
Jordanbid
Banned
What helps me bro when im single i pick up a sport hobby or something. Ill go to the bars and shoot pool. I wont drink, or if i do ill have one beer or even just cranberry juice. It looks like im drinking but im just having juice and its cheep.
i think i might start getting into different sports , i really enjoy bowling lol but iv been drinking alot more since the break up which is bad so starting monday no more alchohol for as long as possible..