The right girl is probably closer than you think, you're just looking the wrong direction. I was going through some stuff years back and ended up talking to my sister's best friend. She was 7 years younger than me, with someone else, and i never looked at her as a woman-just my sisters friend. Eventually she became a good friend to me. Since she was just a friend, I told her all kinds of stuff you'd never tell a girl you wanted to date- complete honesty about other girls i was with etc. Anyway her relationship was over and about 6 months later I saw her diferently. The exact opposite of the girls i went out with. She was hot! Smart, and my best friend. 7years later and still my best friend. I enjoyed alot of women-not bragging-but i think it was good for me to find out what i didn't want in a relationship. I respect your choice of abstinance, however, IMO the mind can be clouded by our hormones. Jeremiah 17:9 (King James Version)
"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?"
You "want" to find your match. If you keep "trying" you might end up like alot of other people--with the wrong one. I'll bet if you stop looking, the right girl will bump right into you. Just don't bend over, it might be a guy.J?K
True on this. I cant call it abstinance since I have already had me some pink. I just refer to it as trying my best to follow my faith(which honestly, quite often all I want is a girl and about 6 weeks of none-stop catch up booty, but desist and resist...).
Thats kinda how the girl that is bothering me a bit came around, I opened up to her about stuff others do not, and will not know... and after all that is when we develop attraction, and start running together.
The big poop stain here, is that she ended up going down to TN(I am in ohio) for college. And we all know how that works out.
Then situations arise, and I just kick myself for getting that close. (I am anti-social with a slight hate for mankind). My Ex screwed me fubar, and I dont trust women because of it.
She put me into about 2-3 years of psychotic episodes, the ends of which people here on AM actually kinda caught if they remember some of my "swinging mood" posts or extremely overly radical posts. Sometimes polar opposites.
Having come out of that, only suffering from a lack of ever having good credit again(I ruined myself during the mental war).
But, I would have it no other way. Looking back, I have become literally 45 times the man I was. Went from a nutless pushover, into someone in leadership roles and with a healthy mindset. Plus I learned to love lifting :439:
Point being though, is I still deal with my ex. She married another guy in the church. Which I currently wont leave, because honestly, everyone there is family to me, and some have been the very fabric that helped hold me together, and I know countless prayers have been sent for me lol.
But the side effect is, I cant trust women now. Regardless. I either adopt a "I dont care" attitude with them, because I assume it wont work out, or I literally just get really bored fast and lose interest, or in a rare case (such as this) where I let them in, just dont like it.
Essentially, relationship wise I am FUBAR. My own fault.
My ex did not make my mistakes, those are my responsibilities. But it was because of her that I lost it lol.
On that note I have lost all confidence, at the age of 23 I am going into bankruptcy thanks to a few years of screw ups. This will make college hard as hell to ever finish, and leave me financially beached for some time. Even in sports, like the softball league I played in. I went from pitcher/slam hitter/beast to lucky to get around the bases.
She on the other hand has had everything given to her, she married a guy who may have man boobs, and look like a squirrel...but he had finances and crap.
Duno, I think I prefer to screw everything up before it gets a chance to screw itself up anymore. Honestly, never expected to be the kinda guy who does that...
LOL, sorry for the dump. I dont really talk to people about crap anymore. They all have their own crap to worry about and I am usually trying to help them with that anyways.