Day 3, @3 caps, PM Report
This will be a current events report, as oppose to a PM Review. Given the circumstance, a Review wouldn't be fair, as my lack of sleep, or more accurately stated, absence of sleep, goes well beyond a "mediating variable."
Brief Overview
- I was
unable to sleep last night, as I had stubbornly, rashly, ignorantly and arrogantly, increased my dosage of SX too soon.
-
By 4:40 a.m., or 4:50 a.m. this morning, I made a decision to take
3 caps of SX in order to get primed for a 60 min, interval cycling class at 5:45am, at L.A. Fitness, in the City of La Verne.
- By
7:30 a.m., I had arrived at L.A. Fitness, Glendora, where I lifted Tri's, and also, in order to participate in their 8:30 a.m., 60 min, interval cycling class.
- By
8:30 a.m., I did in fact participate in a second round of 60 min. of interval cycling.
- By
10:00 a.m., I arrived at the Law Firm, which is one of my two job
Brief Summary of this mornings report, along with some newly added details.
- When I initially made the decision that I was going to tackle these bouts of exercise this morning, I was in an understandably frustrated mood. I was angry about the situation, yet excited about the challenge I was about to take on.
- By the time the SX kicked in, my mood took a 180 turn. I felt good, I felt abnormally friendly, uncharacteristically sociable (pertaining to the gym), and I felt like I was that carefree guy who sang, "I'm singing in the rain," not to be mixed up with the character from A Clockwork Orange, who also sang that song :nono2:
- Early morning mood enhancement, mood enhancement, mood enhancement. I can't say enough about how effective and radically transforming SX's mood enhancer played a role in this mornings success.
- Around 12:00 p.m. - 2:00 p.m., I can't accurately recall, I wrote another letter of encouragement, appreciation and inspiration to yet another professor. This is strange, professor letter writing number 3. One of the letters or actually e-mail letter, I wrote to professor yesterday, received a response, asking my permission to be used as a source of inspiration to be shared with her Kines 454 students, present and future. All three letters were spontaneous and they were inspired within those early morning windows when the mood is at its optimal effect for me. I have to believe these desires had been in me awhile, perhaps not consciously, but in seed form somewhere, but I just never cared enough to produce them. I'm not AS STUDIOUS as this paragraph may be depicting me as. Nonetheless, I am fairly confident that in my highly mood enhanced state, in terms of pleasantness, contentment, motivation, comfortable and confidence, all of it helped to bring the seed into fruition.
Current Situation
It is now 6:32pm and you have to be wondering if I suffered any crashes or perhaps what my thoughts are on the probability of another sleepless night.
Let's begin.
- I felt comfortably energized up between 2pm and 3pm. By this time, I was beginning to feel the effects of my sleep deprivation, compounded by this mornings TRIPLE CROWN feat of exercise. I didn't suffer a traditional stim crash. Here is where I'll try to make some distinctions. When I am physically lethargic, it is traditionally coupled with an emotional apathy, my mental acuity becomes greatly clouded and my mood, in terms of outlook, is a bit self loathing and my mood in terms of sociability, is very stand off'ish. A serious stim crash will generally result in the aforementioned conditions.
This afternoon, when I was "crashing," my mood was still positive, my body felt like it really wanted to lay down and rest, but I wasn't experience lethargic symptoms such as a sense of laziness, a strong desire to not want to do any moving or anything complex, whether it be physical or cognitive. Although my mental acuity could not be described as cloudy, such as feeling as if you're processing information slower then usual, but I felt absent minded. For example, while I was typing, I was writing just as fast, I was able to develop ideas and premises just as fast, but then I couldn't think of a word I wanted to use. I was looking to use the word "Exude" in my letter to my professor, but I couldn't think of that word. I had to spell and mis-spell the word Exhume until Google associated the word I was looking for.
The point being, I did crash and I'm continuing to crash now, it did suck, but it was not AS BAD and in many ways different, from a traditional stim crash.
However, my current condition, at 6:53 p.m., now, is much more physically detrimental in comparison to what I just finished describing.
Clearly, my mental acuity is still with me. My ability to process thoughts and generate ideas seem completely uneffected, but if I stand up, I feel uneasy, dizzy and a bit nauseous. Plus my quads have been taxed to utter hell.
From the way I "feel," energy wise, I am expecting to sleep tonight.
I've decided that I will perhaps stick with 1 cap for a couple of days and max out my dosage at 2 caps. At least until I've become more adapted.
I'll reiterate as I have multiple times now, that this mornings decision to perform this mornings TRIPLE CROWN of exercise leans heavier on a poor decision then a reflection of dedication. I don't think it's wise or safe for that matter. With that said, it's not my first action of this nature, and sadly, but in truth, it most likely won't be the last. I get too into pushing my limits and sometimes not in the wisest means.
This concludes my Day 3, @3 caps (and no sleep), REPORT.