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WOMEN!

southernxgun

southernxgun

New member
My girlfriend and I decided to take a break recently. Both of us said we wouldn't see anyone else, just take some time apart. I was all good with it, moved in with a buddy for what was supposed to be a month or so. We still talked every day, had lil lunch dates and what not. Well, I said something bout moving back in and she kinda gave me the cold shoulder and, I'm not gonna lie, I turned into a lil pu$$y and did the whole "but I love you" bit. So, we didn't really talk much for a few days. The last few days she has been textin, callin, talkin to me (we work together) non stop. Basically actin like we are back together again. We met up for lunch today and everything went great. Her sister found out we went to lunch and blew up. I didn't understand why. Well, apparently she has been messin around with another guy since about 2 weeks out of the "seperation." So, for the last month of "I love you, Your the only guy I wanna be with" b.s. she has been havin him stay the night, screwing him, and then callin me. He spent the night last night, stayed with her today, and when I got off work she had him leave and met me for lunch, which she asked me to go! That's why the sister blew up, she is kinda like a lil sis to me. Needless to say, I called her out on it. She said " well I've been talkin to you a lot again because he is boring, terrible in bed and nothing compared to you. So she is expecting me to forget all this and take her back now because it took another guy to make her realize what she had. What is wrong with women these days! It seems like it's impossible to find a classy one these days. A wise man once told me "When you finally start to understand women, you die." Sorry for the rant, I just needed to get this out. Luckily I just started my "The One" cycle, so in a month, she won't even remember that guys name when she see's me in a cut off at work! haha :bb2:
 
No offense bro,

But this girl lied to your face, screwed another guy, and you're going to let her right back into your life. I'm all for forgiveness...but don't forget the old saying...screw me once, shame on you, screw me twice shame on me.

How do you know the next time she wants to take a break, she won't meet that guy that does "do it" for her and she'll leave you in the dust.

Your life....your decisions...just want you to look at all the angles before you make such a decision.
 
firefighter2032 said:
No offense bro,

But this girl lied to your face, screwed another guy, and you're going to let her right back into your life. I'm all for forgiveness...but don't forget the old saying...screw me once, shame on you, screw me twice shame on me.

How do you know the next time she wants to take a break, she won't meet that guy that does "do it" for her and she'll leave you in the dust.

Your life....your decisions...just want you to look at all the angles before you make such a decision.
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Agreed. very well said with that proverb

to the OP,
Taking time off was just her way of saying "i'll keep you aside for now and look for someone better like this new guy. If he's better, screw you, if not, i'll come back to you"...

don't let her play you for a fool. From now on, just use her for her pussy and maybe if you're financially down, some of her money. Put her in her place
 
I would cut your ties and move on. You're just looking for this to happen again in the future and God forbid if you were to get married and have to worry about this too.
 
Jayhawkk said:
I would cut your ties and move on. You're just looking for this to happen again in the future and God forbid if you were to get married and have to worry about this too.
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totally agree with this statement. this is nothing new to the world of dating. this situation will repeat itself, maybe not this or next year but it will. you don't have to believe me or JH on this one, you'll find out for yourself. and running "the one" and trying to impress her is just.....it's just sad man, sorry not trying to be a D*** but i could not find the words to say it without sounding like one. if i had a friend that was going through this i would have slapped him half way through him telling me what you told us here....and i would hope that he would do the same for me. your setting yourself up for more heartbreak, but it's your choice. i wish you well.
 
Be wise bro. Remember that is a whole lot more fish in the sea. Being cheated on is a horrible thing to happen to anyone, would hate to hear that you gave her another chance and she cheated on you or for the situation to occur again.
 
I agree with the above. First off you two took a break from each other, so something had to be going wrong in the first place.

Second she lied to you and went out with another guy, whatever problems you had in the first place seemed to be worked on in a seperation. So if it happened again it would likely be the same thing. She seems to have the theory that if its not perfect and another guy is showing her attenetion then she is going to go there to make herself feel better.

Really just not worth it.
 
run away and dont look back. She is bad news, and this will just set the tone for the rest of the relationship.
 
Jayhawkk said:
I would cut your ties and move on. You're just looking for this to happen again in the future and God forbid if you were to get married and have to worry about this too.
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Agree.....move on.....FAST!
 
crader said:
She seems to have the theory that if its not perfect and another guy is showing her attenetion then she is going to go there to make herself feel better.
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Yep, nothing is ever perfect and she should never had thought it should be. She will do this again given the chance.
 
southernxgun said:
My girlfriend and I decided to take a break recently. Both of us said we wouldn't see anyone else, just take some time apart. I was all good with it, moved in with a buddy for what was supposed to be a month or so. We still talked every day, had lil lunch dates and what not. Well, I said something bout moving back in and she kinda gave me the cold shoulder and, I'm not gonna lie, I turned into a lil pu$$y and did the whole "but I love you" bit. So, we didn't really talk much for a few days. The last few days she has been textin, callin, talkin to me (we work together) non stop. Basically actin like we are back together again. We met up for lunch today and everything went great. Her sister found out we went to lunch and blew up. I didn't understand why. Well, apparently she has been messin around with another guy since about 2 weeks out of the "seperation." So, for the last month of "I love you, Your the only guy I wanna be with" b.s. she has been havin him stay the night, screwing him, and then callin me. He spent the night last night, stayed with her today, and when I got off work she had him leave and met me for lunch, which she asked me to go! That's why the sister blew up, she is kinda like a lil sis to me. Needless to say, I called her out on it. She said " well I've been talkin to you a lot again because he is boring, terrible in bed and nothing compared to you. So she is expecting me to forget all this and take her back now because it took another guy to make her realize what she had. What is wrong with women these days! It seems like it's impossible to find a classy one these days. A wise man once told me "When you finally start to understand women, you die." Sorry for the rant, I just needed to get this out. Luckily I just started my "The One" cycle, so in a month, she won't even remember that guys name when she see's me in a cut off at work! haha :bb2:
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If you stayed with her.... I dont think i could respect you as a man...nor would anyone. Seriously...
 
My advice is to drop her like a bad habit, and move on.
 
jeeze why do I have the overpowering feeling you wont listen anyways. Tell your heart to bite the bullet, you are either going to hurt now, or hurt later maybe when you have a kid that comes out that may not even be of your same race.

Save yourself mate.
 
I say GTFO. After dealing with a very similar situation, not getting out, and just suffering further.. I believe it is in your best interest to tell her she blew it.
 
i advise you get back together with her.
then send flowers to her at work but put some other girls name on the card.
and in the note tell her you can't wait to see her in that little outfit tonight - but describe some outfit you know she doesn't own.
and when she confronts you at your place, make sure there is a pair of womens panties that aren't hers laying on the floor.
and then deny everything, tell her she is crazy, and you want to break up with her because you want to distance yourself from crazy people.
 
Hank Vangut said:
i advise you get back together with her.
then send flowers to her at work but put some other girls name on the card.
and in the note tell her you can't wait to see her in that little outfit tonight - but describe some outfit you know she doesn't own.
and when she confronts you at your place, make sure there is a pair of womens panties that aren't hers laying on the floor.
and then deny everything, tell her she is crazy, and you want to break up with her because you want to distance yourself from crazy people.
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I think he wins, take this route!
 
lennoxchi said:
totally agree with this statement. this is nothing new to the world of dating. this situation will repeat itself, maybe not this or next year but it will. you don't have to believe me or JH on this one, you'll find out for yourself. and running "the one" and trying to impress her is just.....it's just sad man, sorry not trying to be a D*** but i could not find the words to say it without sounding like one. if i had a friend that was going through this i would have slapped him half way through him telling me what you told us here....and i would hope that he would do the same for me. your setting yourself up for more heartbreak, but it's your choice. i wish you well.
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Naw, I was planning on starting it anyway. It isn't because of all of this. I just thought it'd be something funny to say lol. I don't plan on taking her back at all. I know how the old saying goes "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. I had a feeling all of this was gonna happen anyway. It sucks, alot. I really thought this one had potential for the M word. And I never thought I'd ever say that haha. I can't say for sure that it would happen again, but I'm not willing to take the chance. I know if I take her back now she will think she runs sh!t and can get away with anything and that just ain't my style. If it's not equal then I want no part in it. It really shows me how much she respects me when she can go from being so "in love" to screwing another guy in a few weeks. I don't need someone who doesn't care for me like I care for her. Thanks for all the suppot guys! I like your thinking Hank, may just have to try that one out :laugh:
 
Cheaters are cheaters, and the act reveals a massive defect in the CHEATER'S personality/morality REGARDLESS of "what was wrong" with the relationship beforehand.

Ditch the bitch and don't look back - unless you are a glutton for misery.
 
The funny thing is what "was wrong" was we/I had trust issues over some stupid stuff that happened in the beginning of the relationship..The time apart was to help us be able to build better trust for eachother. The thinking was if were weren't together constantly then we will be forced to trust eachother haha. What a way to build my trust back for you...
 
southernxgun said:
The funny thing is what "was wrong" was we/I had trust issues over some stupid stuff that happened in the beginning of the relationship..The time apart was to help us be able to build better trust for eachother. The thinking was if were weren't together constantly then we will be forced to trust eachother haha. What a way to build my trust back for you...
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You do not want to be anywhere near this person. You have this realization deep inside of you, even if you don't want it to be true. We are masters of our own deception - but you know what you know...and you will be sorry.
 
Jayhawkk said:
I would cut your ties and move on. You're just looking for this to happen again in the future and God forbid if you were to get married and have to worry about this too.
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That is EXACTLY what happened to me. I wasted 10 years trying to "save" my familiy. Cut bait and leave her forever.
 
listen to the advice your getting here. dont do it man just dont go back to her. It's gonna be really hard and if you felt that strong about her to even think about the M word chances are its gonna hurt bad, for awhile too. TIME is the only thing thats gonna make this better. TIME and going out and getting as many digits as you can. ;)
 
do what my friend did. give her 50mg of nolvadex to **** her system up for 2days (this also puts women in great deppression for a week) and confront her infront of her friend and show she is a slutty and show every her nude pics since she is a hoe she wont have porlems gettin more customers.

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jay21 said:
do what my friend did. give her 50mg of nolvadex to **** her system up for 2days (this also puts women in great deppression for a week) and confront her infront of her friend and show she is a slutty and show every her nude pics since she is a hoe she wont have porlems gettin more customers.

mobileicon.gif
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Yikes!!!
 
Hank Vangut said:
i advise you get back together with her.
then send flowers to her at work but put some other girls name on the card.
and in the note tell her you can't wait to see her in that little outfit tonight - but describe some outfit you know she doesn't own.
and when she confronts you at your place, make sure there is a pair of womens panties that aren't hers laying on the floor.
and then deny everything, tell her she is crazy, and you want to break up with her because you want to distance yourself from crazy people.
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Love it! LoL

I only see 2 options here, depending if you're an "evil" kind of guy or a "good" kind of guy.

Opt 1. Start banging another chick who is cool with casual fun. Then bang your ex (well, she doesn't know she's an ex yet) just for the sex, and completely disconnect emotionally from her. Lull her into a false sense of security while you secretly move on with your life (new place to live, etc). Then tell her you're bored of her, and walk away.

Opt 2. Walk away NOW.

Seriously - she's nothing but deep trouble. What happens when she finds YOU boring? Maybe you're not, but that's the excuse she'll be telling some other guy.

Yes, it's much easier said than done - but it will only screw you up more if you take her back. Trust the wisdom of (how many above posters?) who have been through or seen something similar. It does not end well for you.

That girl just p1sses me off and ruins it for the very, very few good girls out there.

BTW - I'd personally do Option 2.
 
Not every girl is evil, she sounds young, but i agree and I even like hank's idea, evil but so well deserved :)

Move on and remember a good one will come along.....................

(((HUGZ)))

TC
 
Yea I'm not an evil guy at all. As much fun as it would be to screw her over, I just don't have it in me. Even with all the bullsh!t she put me through, I still care for her. But, I talked to her at work for a little while and she was trying to act like it is no big deal. She had no remorse at all, so I told her to stop callin me, texting me, etc. I told her I am never going to get back together with her and I meant it. I'm just gonna cut all ties. I'll still be dignified at work or if I see her out, but there is no way I'll ever even consider taking her back..Funny thing, we kinda got into a sh!it talking match for a minute, well she was talking I was just laughing at the whole thing cuz she's mad at ME for catching her red handed and not believeing her when she denied it. Anyway, her sister told me she was trying to get ol' boy to come up and "talk" to me i.e. try to punk me out, fight me, whatever..and he pu$$ed out..ah she picked a good one, not that I would fight over her anymore anyway lol
 
oh, ho ho. that evil route sounds quite the tasty, i might just dabble in that myself. not that i wasn't already planning on doing so anyhow, :lol:

that's rough man, well atleast you've learned one thing. "time apart" never really means "time apart", it actually means "time to de-part".
 
southernxgun said:
Yea I'm not an evil guy at all. As much fun as it would be to screw her over, I just don't have it in me. Even with all the bullsh!t she put me through, I still care for her. But, I talked to her at work for a little while and she was trying to act like it is no big deal. She had no remorse at all, so I told her to stop callin me, texting me, etc. I told her I am never going to get back together with her and I meant it. I'm just gonna cut all ties. I'll still be dignified at work or if I see her out, but there is no way I'll ever even consider taking her back..Funny thing, we kinda got into a sh!it talking match for a minute, well she was talking I was just laughing at the whole thing cuz she's mad at ME for catching her red handed and not believeing her when she denied it. Anyway, her sister told me she was trying to get ol' boy to come up and "talk" to me i.e. try to punk me out, fight me, whatever..and he pu$$ed out..ah she picked a good one, not that I would fight over her anymore anyway lol
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Its been 2 years since my ex....i still care for her...and I hate it.
 
Does what she did make her a bad person? ... why yes, yes it does.

Does taking her back make you a bad person? ... no, it just means you're a dumbass.

You take her back --> she pulls the same bull**** again --> EPIC FAIL. (trust me, already been there, and there's no reason for you to put yourself through it).
 
Zero V said:
Its been 2 years since my ex....i still care for her...and I hate it.
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Dang man. I know I'm gonna care for her for a looong time and seeing her all the time at work isn't gonna make it any easier. Hell as soon as I saw her tonite I smiled, then felt like I got kicked in the gut. The one time I put myself out there and it ends up like this. I hope it doesn't take me years. I just keep telling myself that one will come along one day that I cant trust and that will make what I feel for this one, feel like nothing. Thank you for all your support guys. Im glad I posted this cuz you are all helping me out alot.
 
southernxgun said:
Dang man. I know I'm gonna care for her for a looong time and seeing her all the time at work isn't gonna make it any easier. Hell as soon as I saw her tonite I smiled, then felt like I got kicked in the gut. The one time I put myself out there and it ends up like this. I hope it doesn't take me years. I just keep telling myself that one will come along one day that I cant trust and that will make what I feel for this one, feel like nothing. Thank you for all your support guys. Im glad I posted this cuz you are all helping me out alot.
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I went to her wedding about a year after I broke up.... You want a kick to your gut... man...I felt like I could have slit myself open and jumped off a bridge... (dont do that...things get better)

Made me a stronger, better man though. I earned alot of respect dealing with her. I was accused of alot, and misunderstood, took me a good year to show people who I really was.
 
Zero V said:
I went to her wedding about a year after I broke up.... You want a kick to your gut... man...I felt like I could have slit myself open and jumped off a bridge... (dont do that...things get better)

Made me a stronger, better man though. I earned alot of respect dealing with her. I was accused of alot, and misunderstood, took me a good year to show people who I really was.
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Oh man I couldn't have done that, couldn't imagine it. Your a stronger man than me. I believe I earned a lot of respect just tonite at work. With her yellin and cussin at me and I just brushed it off. On top of that, all the lies and b.s. she has been spreading around about me at work, that I found out about tonite, has come around to bite her. ah kharma. It's these adversities that make us better men
 
southernxgun said:
Oh man I couldn't have done that, couldn't imagine it. Your a stronger man than me. I believe I earned a lot of respect just tonite at work. With her yellin and cussin at me and I just brushed it off. On top of that, all the lies and b.s. she has been spreading around about me at work, that I found out about tonite, has come around to bite her. ah kharma. It's these adversities that make us better men
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No great sword is forged without going through searing flames, and facing a crush of a mighty hammer fall.

If you want to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and say, yeah I did this right, I may have screwed up a time or two in life, but I live my life for he right reason. Its how we become closer to perfection, for though none of us will ever reach that.

A women will come along that will be both worthy and appreciate the kind of love you have in your heart. And will return n kind, a love you will grow to find irreplaceable.
 
Zero V said:
I went to her wedding about a year after I broke up.... You want a kick to your gut... man...I felt like I could have slit myself open and jumped off a bridge... (dont do that...things get better)
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I understand your pain, but I am on the opposite side of the coin. I CANNOT wait until the she-devil remarries; and I grinned from-ear-to-ear when I recently heard that her little troll doll (Shrek) announced to his daughter that the two are going to marry. This will change my monthly budget, and will eliminate the travesty they call "spousal support".
 
Lets look at what happened:

Your girlfriend decided to see if she could do better than you

She tried, and was disappointed

Now she wants to go back to you.

What would prevent this from happening again? What happens if the next time this happens you two are married and have children?

This event exposes some major character flaws in this woman. The one I would be most concerned with is the blatant dishonestly in which she handled you and your "break". She deliberately misrepresented her intentions, so that she could pick up where you guys left off if things didn't work out well. (this is currently the stage she is at now).

So she is obviously a lying, dishonest, hosebeast. I would run from her as quickly as possible, unless of course you like having a sucky life.

There are too many good women out there to waste your time with the bad ones.
 
Zero V said:
I went to her wedding about a year after I broke up.... You want a kick to your gut... man...I felt like I could have slit myself open and jumped off a bridge... (dont do that...things get better)

Made me a stronger, better man though. I earned alot of respect dealing with her. I was accused of alot, and misunderstood, took me a good year to show people who I really was.
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How the hell did you go to her wedding??? I mean unless you guys split for mutual reasons, and there was no bad blood then maybe i can understand. I'm pretty sure i would laugh in my ex's face if she invited me to her wedding.

OP, went through pretty much the exact situation. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, and have a decent amount of self respect. DON'T LOSE IT, she will try to play games with you and it will end up hurting more, its not worth it.
 
Loki003 said:
How the hell did you go to her wedding??? I mean unless you guys split for mutual reasons, and there was no bad blood then maybe i can understand. I'm pretty sure i would laugh in my ex's face if she invited me to her wedding.
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Well... For one I am a man who values honor, and my word. I believe a man is only as good as his word. When we split, though there was a bit of roughness, we agreed to be friends, and to go to each others weddings one day. I did not expect it to be only a year later....

But I do what I say. It is one of the reasons I have the kind of friends I do who treat me the way I do. You reap what you sow. Plus, it was the only way to get some kind of real closure. *checks pain in chest that comes every time she calls or hugs me* .....didnt work as well as I hoped.

I earned alot respect by showing up to that wedding. I mean I lost a few tears during it a bit, but made me no less a man, and no one cares it happened.

Being someone who works the way I do, I will likely be screwed over my entire life, simply for the fact I put others first, and will stick to my word even if it turns out to cost me dearly...
 
Zero V said:
Its been 2 years since my ex....i still care for her...and I hate it.
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It's been about 3 years since my ex split with me after 4 years, and I still hold a lot of pain..... Well ****... I typed the first line a couple hours ago and then received life changing news... holy ****. Life moves way too fast.
 
I respect honoring your word. I did too, even after the she-devil slept with another man after 19 years of marriage. I did whatever I could, but I had to realize that I couldn't make her into a better person than she wanted to be. And I tried for almost 10 years.

And now, I feel free - like cancer has been excised from my body. The process (divorce) of removing the cancer (my ex-wife) was expensive and very painful, but I had no other alternative. And all sugeries like that leave scars.

The biggest sense of loss I feel is for my two sons; they don't have anything to do with their Mom. One of them refuses to call her "Mom"; instead referring to her only by her first name. It is really screwed up.

And that part is really sad. That woman stole from her sons the confidence that she, their mother, would always be a source of comfort and love to them. Now, knowing far too much about what she did (they know more about the second affair than I do), they see her as a tramp.

And without me doing anything to "help" them think that way.
 
Zero V said:
Well... For one I am a man who values honor, and my word. I believe a man is only as good as his word. When we split, though there was a bit of roughness, we agreed to be friends, and to go to each others weddings one day. I did not expect it to be only a year later....

But I do what I say. It is one of the reasons I have the kind of friends I do who treat me the way I do. You reap what you sow. Plus, it was the only way to get some kind of real closure. *checks pain in chest that comes every time she calls or hugs me* .....didnt work as well as I hoped.

I earned alot respect by showing up to that wedding. I mean I lost a few tears during it a bit, but made me no less a man, and no one cares it happened.

Being someone who works the way I do, I will likely be screwed over my entire life, simply for the fact I put others first, and will stick to my word even if it turns out to cost me dearly...
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Thats fairly good terms in my book, and i respect the way you handled yourself and stuck to your word. I am like that with a one or two of my ex's because we realized that we would be better as friends and will be attending their weddings when they do marry.

I can't help think that maybe the split was something you fully didn't agree with, but didn't want to force something that wasn't mutual? Or i could just be pulling crap from my life up, but i can usually get a good feeling about others heart break since i have had alot in the short time i have been on this earth. Live and learn, thats all we can do.

When it comes to relationships i am loyal almost to a point of stupidity, unless i see something for myself or have a very strong feeling i will take what my significant other says to heart as the truth. I blame my mom for raising me right, and to trust people until they do something to lose that trust. Haha well i don't blame her, i just sometimes feel like she taught me to be to nice haha.

I just know that you will never get anywhere in life if you don't take risks, get hurt, or put yourself out there because then you aren't really living. If someone decides to take advantage of you then learn from it and use it in the future to better yourself. Holding onto bitterness and hate towards a person i feel is no way to live. But then again i have never been in Beau's shoes, and i am sorry that you had to go through that. Sometimes things just suck and you have to wait it out, and i just realized how sappy i sound and i apologize haha. Sorry for the rant.
 
Loki003 said:
Holding onto bitterness and hate towards a person i feel is no way to live. But then again i have never been in Beau's shoes, and i am sorry that you had to go through that.
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Its funny, in a way. Although terms like she-devil probably make it sound as if I hate or am bitter towards "her", I'm not for the things she did directly to me. At least, I am not any longer. I used to be. To be candid, I was bitter for the entire time I tried to make our marriage work after her first affair. And that bitterness was fueled by the hurt and rejection from her breaking our marriage vows. I resented that I had to do all the hard work. She saw my forgiveness as a get out of jail free Monopoly card - meaning she didn't have to try to make amends. She never did.

But the minute I learned of her second affair (and it may be her 10th affair , I'll never know - nor do I want to), it was as if the bond inside me that linked the two of us was destroyed. I didn't hate or resent her - I just wanted her out of my life.

The only ill feelings I have about her are (1) that she slandered my name to help make her actions seem less sinister (but I've accepted this - it is what it is) and , (2) that I have to pay her spousal support (she slept with another man, for heaven's sake), and - most importantly - (3) that my children have suffered from what she has said and done.

The slander: Whatever people want to think, they can think. I would hope they might consider the source/motivation, but not necessarily. Regardless, I can't control what they choose to think.

The money: I really don't like subsidizing her immorality. I really don't. But I write the checks each month, and don't feel bitter; I just don't feel good about it. And - I've paid a lot of money to her. The good news is that it will go away forever when she remarries.

My kids: This is the one. I resent her treatment of them. They are really good men and they deserved better (or at least they didn't deserve what she did to them). I don't think about it a lot, but when I do I cringe. And I know, because she continues to say, she thinks she has done nothing wrong. That has found its way back to my kids (BTW - they are both in college), and it angers them.

I am truly glad she is out of my life. I don't wish her harm. I just don't want anything to do with her, because I neither trust or respect her.
 
earlier you slighted the other gentleman when you said something sarcastic like "she picked a good one" when he wouldnt come fight you. If anything the dude is probably really cool just like you but is getting sucked in by the succubus too. Its not his fault. Your ex probably has daddy issues and will now reak havoc on men's lives throughtout her lifetime. Poor guy, first two weeks and already a fist fight. Hopefully he wises up from this.

Good luck man. Kill her with kindness. This drives em crazy.
 
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