Rosie Chee
The Female Terminator
That is the part that concerns me. Your response to pain seems to be "suck it up and move on" neglecting the fact that it can also be your bodies warning that something is wrong. We all know that any pain you have in your body is not because you ar "out of shape". that is obviously not true. This seems to be beyond just you pushing the limits and you may be risking more damage. I know you know this already, not sure if I just feel obligated to say it or if you need to have some one bring it to you, but there it is! Also, the more personal and vulnerable thouights and feelings you have at times shared here makes my respect for you even deeper and is in no way a sign of weakness (again, not assuming you thought that.) Forget what the world expects, do what ya gotta do for you!
I have come a long way in even BOTHERING to listen to my body over the last year or so, Tony, and yes, I WILL push through the pain, even though I know it is causing more damage - although I will "lighten the load" a little to compensate for it sometimes. I may as well just give up if I am forced to have more time out - I REFUSE to allow it to happen, because I will be in a far worse situation if it happens, and I do not want another 3-6 months out because I did not suck it up and keep going. So, even though I feel like I did before recurrent bouts of Chronic Fatigue hit (the pain in my shoulders not helping the fatigue), I will continue as long as I can (even though I have for the last week or so just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up I have been that exhausted)...Yes, I AM out of shape - for me, with all these injuries and pain driving my strength down, not to mention the extreme fatigue draining me of any endurance...My body is one big mess of damage, not healthy by any means. We ALL have our weak moments - we are but human, after all, and I have them like anyone else, and no, I did not take your concern as thinking that of me (not like when I was told the other day that I was "fcuking weak and pathetic" when I confessed to one some of the personal battles I'd faced over the last few months - which pissed me off and understandably!). I have for a while now done what I need to do for me, and believe me it is liked by a rare few - well, they can all think what they like, because I don't care to live for anyone else; this is MY life and I will NOT let it be dictated to!...Thank you for your concern, but I truly DO have to keep going - I am perpetually anaemic as it is and battle daily with struggling to breathe properly, and training is what HELPS my body combat those issues, and without it, they will become worse and just compound on the fatigue...
~Rosie~