would you be jealous?

lennoxchi

lennoxchi

Well-known member
so I'm over at the GF's house Sat night. and a text comes through from some guy she went out with like 3 times or something. he just said "whats up what are you up to". her reply "hanging out with my BF", which i thought was a good response. and i left it at that.
the next morning i got curious and checked her old texts to see what was going on, if anything.
one of the texts from him said something like "you have a sick body", which i didn't like so much and this was after we were dating for a little while.
i noticed that he texts her about once every 2 to 4 weeks.
when i asked her how often he texts she said "once and a while, once every couple of months or month or so".
which is bull crap as i already know.

now my thought was "why doesn't she just tell him that he should stop texting?" i know what he's after and shes not stupid either so she knows as well. they never have long conversations with the texts but still. oh and she never has said anything that would lead me to believe that she is pulling a fast one either.

so my question is would this piss you off?

listen I'm 99% sure she not doing anything with this guy or anybody else. I've been cheated on before so i know most of the signs. i do believe that this girl loves me but i have this voice in my head that says "wtf is this guy trying to do?" he knows about me why doesn't he just piss off?
 
Who initiated the breakup between them two? Usually if the guy leaves the girl she will still have feelings for him hence her not minding when he text's her. Now for my opinion I would personally shatter the person if they kept on with it but I would tell her to tell him to not text her and if her persists then I would talk to him personally. I wouldn't let my girlfriend text an Ex I would flip **** but that's because I am territorial.
 
ElectricPulse said:
Who initiated the breakup between them two? Usually if the guy leaves the girl she will still have feelings for him hence her not minding when he text's her. Now for my opinion I would personally shatter the person if they kept on with it but I would tell her to tell him to not text her and if her persists then I would talk to him personally. I wouldn't let my girlfriend text an Ex I would flip **** but that's because I am territorial.
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i don't know who did what but i think she stopped it with him. she was dating people before me and when she met me she wanted to be monogamous so she stopped seeing these other people. now before you get the wrong idea, she is not the type to sleep around, she made me wait 1 month and she said she was going to make me wait 3 but we saw each other like eod so the time frame came down cause we knew each other quite a bit, talked everyday and so on.
 
WhatsaRoid? said:
Why not ask her to stop talking to her ex's and you'll do the same? I did that with my gf :)
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that's kind of how we left it. she said she would tell him. but i'm still stuck on why she said it was only once and month or every other month. trying not to hurt me or be mad?
 
lennoxchi said:
so I'm over at the GF's house Sat night. and a text comes through from some guy she went out with like 3 times or something. he just said "whats up what are you up to". her reply "hanging out with my BF", which i thought was a good response. and i left it at that.
the next morning i got curious and checked her old texts to see what was going on, if anything.
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So...you invade her privacy.
one of the texts from him said something like "you have a sick body", which i didn't like so much and this was after we were dating for a little while.
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Does she or does she not have a sick body? Do you think it is a secret that no one knows but you?
i noticed that he texts her about once every 2 to 4 weeks.
when i asked her how often he texts she said "once and a while, once every couple of months or month or so".
which is bull crap as i already know.
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4 weeks is about a month...no?

now my thought was "why doesn't she just tell him that he should stop texting?" i know what he's after and shes not stupid either so she knows as well. they never have long conversations with the texts but still. oh and she never has said anything that would lead me to believe that she is pulling a fast one either.
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Why should she tell him anything? She stated she had a BF.

so my question is would this piss you off?

listen I'm 99% sure she not doing anything with this guy or anybody else. I've been cheated on before so i know most of the signs. i do believe that this girl loves me but i have this voice in my head that says "wtf is this guy trying to do?" he knows about me why doesn't he just piss off?
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When my wife is no longer attractive to the rest of the world she will likely be unattractive to me too. Find yourself someone less desireable and this may help ease your insecurity.
 
David Dunn said:
So...you invade her privacy.
Does she or does she not have a sick body? Do you think it is a secret that no one knows but you?4 weeks is about a month...no?

now my thought was "why doesn't she just tell him that he should stop texting?" i know what he's after and shes not stupid either so she knows as well. they never have long conversations with the texts but still. oh and she never has said anything that would lead me to believe that she is pulling a fast one either.
Why should she tell him anything? She stated she had a BF.

When my wife is no longer attractive to the rest of the world she will likely be unattractive to me too. Find yourself someone less desireable and this may help ease your insecurity.
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thank you (seriously)
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sorry dude ill stop texting her..i didnt think she was serious with you...
i broke up with her by the way..but yes she does have one sick body
 
i dont know if i would be jealous but i think i would tell her to stop..that way it leaves nothing open for interpretation
 
In my experience most guys don't care if the girl is taken,they will keep trying. The only way to stop it is to make her stop it.IMO
 
Why is this her problem now? There are two people that have issue here: lennox and this other dude. She has done nothing wrong. Making an issue about something between these two that is nothing to her is going to make it something between lennox and her.

Jealousy can be very unbecoming.
 
lennoxchi said:
that's kind of how we left it. she said she would tell him. but i'm still stuck on why she said it was only once and month or every other month. trying not to hurt me or be mad?
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My friend it could be because she cares so little when he sends her a text, she does not keep it in a time frame. I mean when I care little about something I will say it was a month ago, then later realize it was only 2 and a half weeks. His texts probably fade from memories fast, and maybe she feels sorry for him(maybe he is one of those idiot/losers who will never find a real girl) so she prefers not to crush him completely.

Honestly, I would not stress over it, and I am usually a jealous guy(thanks to my ex being so damn fake and cheap she should have had "From China" printed on her bottom side).

David Dunn said:
Why is this her problem now? There are two people that have issue here: lennox and this other dude. She has done nothing wrong. Making an issue about something between these two that is nothing to her is going to make it something between lennox and her.

Jealousy can be very unbecoming.
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Depends, as I have had experience with it. He may have invaded her privacy, but honestly in the mainstream most people nowadays I see cheat on their partners. Its disgusting. The standard rules is you dont communicate with an ex, out of respect for who you are with as well for yourself. I have friends(male and female) who can never attach right to people because they talk to alot of their ex's which means their emotions are never 100% straight even if they claim it is.

I "invaded" my ex's privacy when we were dating I guess you could say...Found out she was becoming friends with alot of "guys" our age, in a flirty manner(being the issue, I dont care if chicks have guy friends...).

Hell I walk in on her tickle wrestling another guy at a get together. There are laws to relationships...

Also she believed that omitting certain parts of the truth, or describing it in a certain way, was not telling a lie...Invading privacy today my friend, is honestly the only chance you get to see the truth if things are going as you think. Honestly the girl I am with has free range of my cell phone, I would expect the same. That being there is nothing to hide, correct? Love doesnt have secrets...

Unless she sent text's back advancing it though, I would think she is doing nothing wrong though.
 
lennoxchi said:
i noticed that he texts her about once every 2 to 4 weeks.
when i asked her how often he texts she said "once and a while, once every couple of months or month or so".
which is bull crap as i already know.
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Not sure how this is crap here bro' once in a while is around 2-4 weeks in my book, once a month is surely 4 weeks in my book

now my thought was "why doesn't she just tell him that he should stop texting?"
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She told him she had a BF, now it's on him to stop the approach.

"wtf is this guy trying to do?" he knows about me why doesn't he just piss off?
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^You answered this in your own post...you know what he is up toooooo he wants......:booty:
 
The Flash said:
In my experience most guys don't care if the girl is taken,they will keep trying. The only way to stop it is to make her stop it.IMO
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Tell her to stop what? He says she told him she had a BF, what is left to stop? If she isn't responding then what else can she do?

If she is, then he can tell her that he does not want her texting him back. End of story here.


But this is his private life so have at it.
 
thx to everyone. i just needed a little perspective on this. my mind sometimes goes in the wrong direction. and when it does i ask peoples opinions on stuff. this is one of those times
 
hardknock said:
Tell her to stop what? He says she told him she had a BF, what is left to stop? If she isn't responding then what else can she do?

If she is, then he can tell her that he does not want her texting him back. End of story here.


But this is his private life so have at it.
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I don't think you understand what i meant or it was worded wrong, either way i was saying that even if a girl has a bf they still are going to have dudes hitting on them if they decent looking anyway, guys won't text your girl if they think she's not interested, so it is up to the girl to know how to turn dudes away if she is taken.
 
lennoxchi said:
so I'm over at the GF's house Sat night. and a text comes through from some guy she went out with like 3 times or something. he just said "whats up what are you up to". her reply "hanging out with my BF", which i thought was a good response. and i left it at that.
the next morning i got curious and checked her old texts to see what was going on, if anything.
one of the texts from him said something like "you have a sick body", which i didn't like so much and this was after we were dating for a little while.
i noticed that he texts her about once every 2 to 4 weeks.
when i asked her how often he texts she said "once and a while, once every couple of months or month or so".
which is bull crap as i already know.

now my thought was "why doesn't she just tell him that he should stop texting?" i know what he's after and shes not stupid either so she knows as well. they never have long conversations with the texts but still. oh and she never has said anything that would lead me to believe that she is pulling a fast one either.

so my question is would this piss you off?

listen I'm 99% sure she not doing anything with this guy or anybody else. I've been cheated on before so i know most of the signs. i do believe that this girl loves me but i have this voice in my head that says "wtf is this guy trying to do?" he knows about me why doesn't he just piss off?
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something like that happened my girl was with some dude way before she was with me,... didnt talk to him for 2 years we were toge4ther, we broke up they started talking but never hung out or anything

We get back together and hes texting her,

i got into her phone and saw a convo she had with him how he wants to "beat me up"

i took the number from her phone called him, threatened him, (he didnt wanna get arrested for fighting, bc thats what one text said) told him what the deal and he messaged my FB after that and threatened to press charges

i talked him outta that and he never texted my girl again,

but not annoys my life for cycle advice

you dont wanna confront her in that way bc of the trust issue

Just say something along the lines of what he did and ask her if anyone tells her that, if she says no say i dont believe you bc its true someones gotta be telling you ect .

if she still doesnt say anything or admit something then i would leave it alone fore a lil . dont keep pressing the issue,
 
Yeah its probably nothing. If you tell her it bothers you she would probably stop. If your still worried put a key logger on your girls computer.lol Seriously though I wouldn't worry about it.
 
Jstrong20 said:
Yeah its probably nothing. If you tell her it bothers you she would probably stop. If your still worried put a key logger on your girls computer.lol Seriously though I wouldn't worry about it.
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AH a keylogger, every married mans fail-safe. Honestly, every stroke is recorded can many programs can even email you daily updates to your email account(have one she doesnt know about). And if anything ever happens(this is marriage of course) you have proof she cheated, putting the courts in your favor for divorce and you can pre-emt the woman lol. And it is 100% legal as well as long as it is your computer in your house.
 
Depends on the type of relationship you have. If you want to be spying on her and crap, make sure you don't go as far as you would allow her to go with it. If you would be annoyed about her reading your texts from a girl then don't do it to her. Otherwise you just kinda have to twiddle your thumbs till you catch her lying or risk dropping her over something stupid.

Besides what's more effective than spying anyway is reading people. If you haven't been calm about this you've blown your chance, but if you can remain calm and are minimally confrontational about it, you can see if she turns it into an argument or not. If she doesn't she's either not up to anything or a very skilled liar. If she starts an argument when you've just brought it up as a concern (assuming again that she would be cool with you reading her texts) then she's probably got something to hide. What I mean about being minimally confrontational is acting like you assume she's doing nothing wrong and you don't care, not being a pushover.
 
dpfisher said:
Depends on the type of relationship you have. If you want to be spying on her and crap, make sure you don't go as far as you would allow her to go with it. If you would be annoyed about her reading your texts from a girl then don't do it to her. Otherwise you just kinda have to twiddle your thumbs till you catch her lying or risk dropping her over something stupid.

Besides what's more effective than spying anyway is reading people. If you haven't been calm about this you've blown your chance, but if you can remain calm and are minimally confrontational about it, you can see if she turns it into an argument or not. If she doesn't she's either not up to anything or a very skilled liar. If she starts an argument when you've just brought it up as a concern (assuming again that she would be cool with you reading her texts) then she's probably got something to hide. What I mean about being minimally confrontational is acting like you assume she's doing nothing wrong and you don't care, not being a pushover.
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that's what i'm going to do, play it cool. we did not argue about it or even have a heated discussion either. it was very calm and non-accusatory. i just need to relax and take this easy, no need to make a stupid decision and ruin a good thing, actually a great thing, it's only me that's making it something else. i can voice my opinion and have, that's my part, her part is to tell him to stop.....i guess i'll just have to trust her, or not, watch for signs and play it cool......
 
Zero V said:
AH a keylogger, every married mans fail-safe. Honestly, every stroke is recorded can many programs can even email you daily updates to your email account(have one she doesnt know about). And if anything ever happens(this is marriage of course) you have proof she cheated, putting the courts in your favor for divorce and you can pre-emt the woman lol. And it is 100% legal as well as long as it is your computer in your house.
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...
If you are that far gone then it is already too late. She's already sucking the pool boy's pool stick.
 
She told me not to text..she has a jealous bf!
To counteract your jealousies,we chat via IM from each other's work.
BODY is SMOKIN!!!..Pink,lacey thong on today..HOTT:yumyum::yumyum:

On a serious note....Women LOVE attention!!! The hotter the chick ,the more validation they seem to need.We weren't made to understand the female species bro.
Old boy is just laying low waiting for you to eff' up.She continues to allow it.He'll keep on hitting on her.She has ALL the control...Don't ALL women???

We guys play the tough role,but we all know the power of the vagina!!!

He's probably at work rubbing one out right thinking of her "hotness!":hump:
 
H8dook said:
She told me not to text..she has a jealous bf!
To counteract your jealousies,we chat via IM from each other's work.
BODY is SMOKIN!!!..Pink,lacey thong on today..HOTT:yumyum::yumyum:

On a serious note....Women LOVE attention!!!
Old boy is just laying low waiting for you to eff' up.She continues to allow it.He'll keep on hitting on her.She has ALL the control...Don't ALL women???
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true
 
Confront him.Be respectful.Give him his 1 "get out of jail free card."...You know what I mean Vern?

This is AFTER you've given her the chance "to handle it."
 
I wouldnt worry about it to much as long as shes not sneaking around. But if you do have the opportunity to see this kid, make it known whos the alpha male.
 
j rad said:
I wouldnt worry about it to much as long as shes not sneaking around. But if you do have the opportunity to see this kid, make it known whos the alpha male.
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oh, you better believe i would.....i'll whip out my testies in a new york minute.:laughing:
 
As a girl, I would feel pretty special if my man told me the txts from an Ex were making him a little jelous. I would fess up Lennoxchi
 
KarlaG said:
As a girl, I would feel pretty special if my man told me the txts from an Ex were making him a little jelous. I would fess up Lennoxchi
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Karla is right in that it's ok to say to your girl you're getting a little jealous lennox, I think most women appreciate their men being a little protective over them.

Don't get all ****ty and 'alpha' with her though, most women do *not* appreciate that.

I do think the others are right in that she hasn't done anything wrong thus far and everything does seem to add up in terms of what she's said and done. Best post in the thread for mine was David's. If you're with someone that you are really insecure about, then either get over it or trade-down to someone you're comfortable with. Don't become the stereotypical jealous psycho stalker boyfriend. That means, no key loggers on computers, no more snooping through her phone. If you're wondering about something, ask her, if she lies and you find out, deal with it and break up with her.

Just don't be that guy.
 
Vance said:
If you're with someone that you are really insecure about, then either get over it or trade-down to someone you're comfortable with.
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100% agreed

#1. most everyone seems to be in agreement that she has done nothing wrong

#2 . i give you props on recognizing that your behavior (OP) was questionable and for coming to others to provide input and recieving the opinions openly. Life is about learning, gaining insight from others is an excellent way of safeguarding oneself from living "in a bubble".

I do not agree on snooping AT ALL. If a person is cheater or a liar, they will be found out eventually, no need to invade privacy therefore impede on that sensitive ground of "trust".
 
I agree with alot thats been posted, your girl has done nothing wrong, if she is a hottie, she probably gets hit on waaay more than you even know, and she still comes home to you. This other guy may be a total tool, or he might just be checkin up on her every once in a while to see if shes still in a relationship because he want another shot, doesnt necessarily make him evil. If he was texting her all the time, repeatedly, I would definitely suggest an aggressive approach to shutting that down, but from what you described, its essentially harmless, and if it really bothers you, then follow the advice suggested by the ladies, a delicate approach and conversation about how you are uncomfortable with her texting him back may be the fix you need.
 
David Dunn said:
So...you invade her privacy.
Does she or does she not have a sick body? Do you think it is a secret that no one knows but you?4 weeks is about a month...no?

Why should she tell him anything? She stated she had a BF.

When my wife is no longer attractive to the rest of the world she will likely be unattractive to me too. Find yourself someone less desireable and this may help ease your insecurity.
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you are a COLD MOFO. .... I LIKE THAT! props u are right on every aspect!!! major props
 
lenno.
pull a fast one on her.

for no reason!

Get on your knees at complete random-niss grab her hand tell her how much she means to you and that you would do anything to make her feel like the princess she is. then give her some "special attnetion" works like a charm in any situation
 
i had an ex just like you.. a russian one. she got many flirty notes. and alot fo time she flirted back. i asked her wtf why do u do this. her response " i like ****in around with them cuz they know im taken and they dont have a chance of gettin me" hmm many times i had belived she cheated etcetc but eveyrtime i pursuid my intuitions i became obssessed and sad... my lack of trust killed our 2yr relationship.. her lack of not being able to act like she is in a relationship killed my love for her and our relationship. we still stayed best friends. now she met a rich guy good job xtremely wealth family (dad was a diplomat granddad was CEO of RCA etc etc) asnd she is now a "good girl" very whipped - women will do anything for some1 with money DOSE NOT MATTER WHAT GIRL!!!. through all my misery with past GF i learned one thing. ALWAYS HAVE 2. best times i had is when i had 2 gfs. so when one was mad it never made me sad. it was great time. now im not advocating on being like that, not at all. i let both women know I AM NOT LOOKIN FOR SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP! if they decided to persue me ok i let them but they always know im not lookin for anything serious. so if they do catch me... not my fault bitch u knew i was not into a serious one. i belive as long as u let them know u dont want to be serious its ok to do what u want. JUST DONT MISSLEAD.
 
ohh ohh and never tell a girl you love her. biggest mistake i always did! i learned that. and so i never will again.... unless i propose to her
 
omfg i could go on with this topic ****! so much to add. on my mind. btw yes its true all azns are tight and blonds give great head
 
im just SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ****in tired of girls that can't make up their ****ing mind. they sleep with u spend everyday with u tell u they like you alot. then when u tell them how u feel its all downhill and she leaves. man! this thread got me so heated now.....
 
ok i got class now.... grrrrr...... man **** bithces
 
Simple, she should tell this dewd to go f**k himself. You shouldn't expect him to respect you - he doesn't know you. But if she's told him she is in an exclusive relationship and he's still flirting and not respecting her boundaries, she should tell him to piss off. And if she has a problem with that.. make her your exgf.. oh, and fk her mom ;)
 
David Dunn said:
So...you invade her privacy.
Does she or does she not have a sick body? Do you think it is a secret that no one knows but you?4 weeks is about a month...no?

Why should she tell him anything? She stated she had a BF.

When my wife is no longer attractive to the rest of the world she will likely be unattractive to me too. Find yourself someone less desireable and this may help ease your insecurity.
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Wow was this written by your GF or are you that Whipped? jk.
 
Jasen said:
i had an ex just like you.. a russian one. she got many flirty notes. and alot fo time she flirted back. i asked her wtf why do u do this. her response " i like ****in around with them cuz they know im taken and they dont have a chance of gettin me" hmm many times i had belived she cheated etcetc but eveyrtime i pursuid my intuitions i became obssessed and sad... my lack of trust killed our 2yr relationship.. her lack of not being able to act like she is in a relationship killed my love for her and our relationship. we still stayed best friends. now she met a rich guy good job xtremely wealth family (dad was a diplomat granddad was CEO of RCA etc etc) asnd she is now a "good girl" very whipped - women will do anything for some1 with money DOSE NOT MATTER WHAT GIRL!!!. through all my misery with past GF i learned one thing. ALWAYS HAVE 2. best times i had is when i had 2 gfs. so when one was mad it never made me sad. it was great time. now im not advocating on being like that, not at all. i let both women know I AM NOT LOOKIN FOR SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP! if they decided to persue me ok i let them but they always know im not lookin for anything serious. so if they do catch me... not my fault bitch u knew i was not into a serious one. i belive as long as u let them know u dont want to be serious its ok to do what u want. JUST DONT MISSLEAD.
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Nothing wrong with casual dating. I know it's not for everyone though and the thing you have to understand is that when you allow yourself to see more than one person at a time on a non-serious basis, you better be able to handle it if the girl(s) you're talking to decide to go after someone that catches their eye as well. And by handle it, i mean not freak out like they wronged you or something.
 
I'd basically go with Karla's advice, tell your gf it did make you a little jealous but that you trust her and if she wants to still talk to him its up to her not you as you aren't going to try and dictate who she can or can't be friends with.
 
yah and never tell a girl you love her lmao its the biggest mistake you can do! 80% of the time it ends up bad. the only time i would tell a girl that i love her is, if i am gettin ready to propose to her. it's like the saying goes only pull a gun if ur ready to shhot for kill.
 
Jasen said:
im just SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ****in tired of girls that can't make up their ****ing mind. they sleep with u spend everyday with u tell u they like you alot. then when u tell them how u feel its all downhill and she leaves. man! this thread got me so heated now.....
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While that is a sweeping generalization... This has happened to me before.

Sometimes you just need to be ambiguous with your intentions until you know what theirs are. You show your hand and they may fold or up the anty. Goes both ways. Any girl who runs at the first sign of you being interested in having a lasting relationship her is doing you a favor and saving you time and trouble of dating someone not worth dating.

As for the girl in the OP. I don't believe she's done anything wrong... Yet. If she see's this is bugging you and respects your feelings she should start to ignore the guy. If she doesn't care how you feel and just likes the attention and continues to text the guy for a crutch to fall back on in case something happens in the future... Well, the answer to that then is obvious. Bring the future to the present and let her fall.
 
lennoxchi said:
so I'm over at the GF's house Sat night. and a text comes through from some guy she went out with like 3 times or something. he just said "whats up what are you up to". her reply "hanging out with my BF", which i thought was a good response. and i left it at that.
the next morning i got curious and checked her old texts to see what was going on, if anything.
one of the texts from him said something like "you have a sick body", which i didn't like so much and this was after we were dating for a little while.
i noticed that he texts her about once every 2 to 4 weeks.
when i asked her how often he texts she said "once and a while, once every couple of months or month or so".
which is bull crap as i already know.

now my thought was "why doesn't she just tell him that he should stop texting?" i know what he's after and shes not stupid either so she knows as well. they never have long conversations with the texts but still. oh and she never has said anything that would lead me to believe that she is pulling a fast one either.

so my question is would this piss you off?

listen I'm 99% sure she not doing anything with this guy or anybody else. I've been cheated on before so i know most of the signs. i do believe that this girl loves me but i have this voice in my head that says "wtf is this guy trying to do?" he knows about me why doesn't he just piss off?
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ha bro id be the exact same way. all she can pretty much do is never reply to his texts and he should eventually stop. if all else fails meet up with him! haha
 
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