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Trouble Meeting People

toughchick401 said:
I am forever "one of the guys"...............Uggghhhhh I hate that!!!!!! hence why I don't date, if you don't date you can't be disappointed.l..:)
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That's actually a good thing. Most guys love a girl that can interact with their friends and social counterparts and not feel intmidated. It's a very attractive trait that a lot of males want and look for.

Now on the other hand, it's pretty much a death sentence when a guy is considered "One of the girls".:crying:
 
Find a nice college town,Tomahawk.I am almost 46 and still get hit on by 20 somethings.One of them actually came to my door last week.I had seen her around the neighborhood a few times but never talked to her.
Around 8:30 in the evening a week and a half ago,the doorbell rings.I see it is her so I step outside to see what she wants.Says she is new to the neighborhood and wanted to meet me as she had seen me outside a few times.We talk for awhile then she says she doesn`t know very many people since she is new to this town.She then asks me if I would take her out sometime.I tell her I would be honored to and we exchanged #`s.
I have been mostly out of town since then,so I have yet to take her up on her offer.Hopefully I wil have some time next week.
A nice,laid back college town is what you need,Tomahawk.
 
prld2gr8ns said:
That's actually a good thing. Most guys love a girl that can interact with their friends and social counterparts and not feel intmidated.
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only partially agree... when a girl is 'one of the guys' its sometimes annoying... if you hook up with that girl then its a jealousy thing when she still hanging with all the boys...

yes, i am a lil possesive...
 
prld2gr8ns said:
That's actually a good thing. Most guys love a girl that can interact with their friends and social counterparts and not feel intmidated. It's a very attractive trait that a lot of males want and look for.

Now on the other hand, it's pretty much a death sentence when a guy is considered "One of the girls".:crying:
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I used to like being one of the guys, not to much anymore when I see what the guys go for, some whiny, insecure girl who loves drama, I'm getting a dog :) they always love you no matter....
 
toughchick401 said:
I used to like being one of the guys, not to much anymore when I see what the guys go for, some whiny, insecure girl who loves drama, I'm getting a dog :) they always love you no matter....
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and for the record, don't give up, just don't try (I've been single for, shoot, about 5 years or so now outside of the stuff that doesn't amount to more than a month, which I just won't count, and I'll never give up)

chocolatemilk said:
Go to a strip club Tom... the women there are always dying to meet you. It's the strangest thing...
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This made me lol :laugh:

Tomahawk88 said:
This is the face I made when I went to my local strip club :scared: Have to go to Atlanta if I ever wanted to go to a strip club.
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That sounds about like what I've heard about my hometown's strip club...awful, awful things.

I've never been, nor do I ever intend on going to a strip club. The whole process just seems depressing to me.
 
toughchick401 said:
I used to like being one of the guys, not to much anymore when I see what the guys go for, some whiny, insecure girl who loves drama, I'm getting a dog :) they always love you no matter....
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Lol!I love my dog.He was a stray pup that someone kicked out into the cold when I found him.Had him for a week when I came home to find him almost dead from parvo.Spent $4000 to save his life.I would not even spend that much to keep myself alive.
He has grown tremendously in one year.He likes to stand on his hind paws and lean against you to show off how big he is.Has one of the deepest barks I have ever heard.Scares the crap out of strangers when they walk by the house.
He is harmless,though.
 
A huge problem I have is finding people who live close enough to me to make it worth hanging out with. I cant move right now because Im living at home to take care of my mom and I live in the middle of NOWHERE. I go to downtown Cleveland to the clubs, get a few numbers, but they all like like an hr and a half away. Between work, taking care of my mom, and working out, I have no time to do a 1.5 hr drive there to hang out with some girl, then a 1.5 hr drive home. As soon as my moms better I plan on getting a full time job again and moving to a better place thats not a 20 minute drive just to go grocery shopping.
 
JComp said:
A huge problem I have is finding people who live close enough to me to make it worth hanging out with. I cant move right now because Im living at home to take care of my mom and I live in the middle of NOWHERE. I go to downtown Cleveland to the clubs, get a few numbers, but they all like like an hr and a half away. Between work, taking care of my mom, and working out, I have no time to do a 1.5 hr drive there to hang out with some girl, then a 1.5 hr drive home. As soon as my moms better I plan on getting a full time job again and moving to a better place thats not a 20 minute drive just to go grocery shopping.
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I feel for you.Quit a good paying job a couple of years ago to take care of my Mom while she was dying of cancer.Tough situation when you are trying to juggle the responsibilities of taking care of the ones you love,paying bills and attempting to find some time for a little bit of a social life in between.
 
Conagher said:
I feel for you.Quit a good paying job a couple of years ago to take care of my Mom while she was dying of cancer.Tough situation when you are trying to juggle the responsibilities of taking care of the ones you love,paying bills and attempting to find some time for a little bit of a social life in between.
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Same deal here, but we're hoping it was caught early enough to where it will be ok. As long as thats the case she should be done with all the Chemo and radiation next month, but wont know for sure untill she takes all the tests and stuff. With my dad being a truck driver and gone all week long, I have to take her to and from all the doctors and take care of her while hes gone.
 
toughchick401 said:
I am forever "one of the guys"...............Uggghhhhh I hate that!!!!!! hence why I don't date, if you don't date you can't be disappointed.l..:)
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I haven't been with anyone for 3 years and trust me I don't have one night stands..Actually I've kind of been bummed out lately over this...Doesn't help I don't drive or have a car no money for a car I just got out of college but might go back for a degree. I'm nervous as hell about driving mainly because I don't know a lot of roads since I've never drove. I didn't have time to practice since I was living with my grandmom and it's stressful just being in the room with her let alone her trying to teach me to drive. I just moved out and my step dad just had knee surgery so he can't teach me yet. I just kind of feel stuck is the best word I can describe.
 
JComp said:
Same deal here, but we're hoping it was caught early enough to where it will be ok. As long as thats the case she should be done with all the Chemo and radiation next month, but wont know for sure untill she takes all the tests and stuff. With my dad being a truck driver and gone all week long, I have to take her to and from all the doctors and take care of her while hes gone.
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My prayers are with you and your Mom.Mine never had a chance by the time her incompetent doctor finally diagnosed it.She was sick for well over a year before he finally figured it out.She kept going back to him and telling him there was something seriously wrong with her.He kept telling her it was allergies and other nonsense.
I hope mine and his paths never cross,as it would not bode well for both of our futures.
 
This thread is amazing.

One factor I've studied for a long time is each sexes inability to recognize what is good for us, then convert that into characteristics we choose in selecting a significant other.

Standard example... Most girls would love a guy they can take shopping. A happy decent guy who would be considerate of their partners needs would openly admit to himself he wouldn't mind going shopping with a future girlfriend of his.
However this is the guy that will wind up with long stretches without girls and less attention in general. Like somebody pointed out in a hysterical post earlier in this thread, it's the chauvinistic dooshbag guy who's going out thinking only of himself that will wind up with the catch at the end of the night.

Of course this isn't always the case but it is a relatively accurate stereotype. (and there's even evolutionary reasons behind it!)
 
anabolicRyan1 said:
This thread is amazing.

One factor I've studied for a long time is each sexes inability to recognize what is good for us, then convert that into characteristics we choose in selecting a significant other.

Standard example... Most girls would love a guy they can take shopping. A happy decent guy who would be considerate of their partners needs would openly admit to himself he wouldn't mind going shopping with a future girlfriend of his.
However this is the guy that will wind up with long stretches without girls and less attention in general. Like somebody pointed out in a hysterical post earlier in this thread, it's the chauvinistic dooshbag guy who's going out thinking only of himself that will wind up with the catch at the end of the night.

Of course this isn't always the case but it is a relatively accurate stereotype. (and there's even evolutionary reasons behind it!)
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This is not exclusive to women.The bad girls are the ones that always seem to keep me transfixed,at least for awhile.They mesmerize you,sort of like a snake.You know they are evil,but it is hard to avert your gaze.
 
Conagher said:
This is not exclusive to women.The bad girls are the ones that always seem to keep me transfixed,at least for awhile.They mesmerize you,sort of like a snake.You know they are evil,but it is hard to avert your gaze.
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Haha agreed. I hate to admit it, but a hot trashy looking girl will still catch my eye.
 
I dig nerdy librarian type girls. ::drool:: Haha

But variety is the spice of life, right?
 
I find meeting people gets easier if you develop confidence by knowing what to say.
Sounds kinda silly but you kinda have to roleplay dialogues and scenarios in your mind with the small talk, facial expressions, mannerisms etc. for situations that you forsee in the near future. This way, when it happens, you already know what to say and do.

One example it where someone here said a smile goes a long way. This is sssoooo true, but it's best if you rehearse the situations where you would like to smile in the near future that way when it arises you will act!

Another good example is to hold and or repeat a stare or a glance. Not to the point where you look like a perve, but to the point where YOU are staring or repeating a prolonged glance perhaps followed with a smile or a giggle longer than what the typical person in your town or city does. I find each city or town has a slightly different default when it comes to eye contact.

For example, when I Travelled to Rio De Janiero many many years ago, if i glanced at a girl for say 5 seconds followed with a slight smile, that girl would approach me shortly there after. If she was with a guy, she would slip away to meet me. Once, this girl slipped away from her man and slipped her telephone number into my hand. This place was heaven for meeting girls. Not sure how it is now.

Humour, is another great aphrodisiac. Women love a good sense of humour. Everyone loves to have a good time and laugh. This is another good area to rehearse in. Learning to tell jokes, is a great way to break the ice, learn conversation, get noticed, develop confidence with people. it's all about confidence thru practice and application.
 
Conagher said:
My prayers are with you and your Mom.Mine never had a chance by the time her incompetent doctor finally diagnosed it.She was sick for well over a year before he finally figured it out.She kept going back to him and telling him there was something seriously wrong with her.He kept telling her it was allergies and other nonsense.
I hope mine and his paths never cross,as it would not bode well for both of our futures.
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Thanks alot and sorry to hear about that. We got really lucky and my mom fell and broke her leg and arm, thats when they found out. If it haddent happend it probably would have been to late by the time she found it.
 
Confidence is what its all about meeting people. Approch people not expecting anything. Instead of walking up to a girl thinking "Im gonna get her number" Just walk up and talk and when youre confident in talking to random people, and can keep them laughing and in good conversation, the number comes easy. When youre out just be yourself and have fun. People can tell when youre trying to be something youre not.
 
anabolicRyan1 said:
I dig nerdy librarian type girls. ::drool:: Haha

But variety is the spice of life, right?
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Man I like all kinds of chicks. Not usually asian girls, but even some of them lately.

JComp said:
Confidence is what its all about meeting people. Approch people not expecting anything. Instead of walking up to a girl thinking "Im gonna get her number" Just walk up and talk and when youre confident in talking to random people, and can keep them laughing and in good conversation, the number comes easy. When youre out just be yourself and have fun. People can tell when youre trying to be something youre not.
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I think u r on to something but it is hard to just not care. Not wired that way.

toughchick401 said:
<rolling eyes> I knew it...the slutty girls always win....ohhh well to bad something I will never be.......
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I didnt say I liked them. Just said my eyes might get diverted. Cant help it if my head turns(pun). But seriously I dont want a slutty girl.

Funny story I was at the gym lifting with a friend of mine. And somehow we got onto the conversation of words to describe girls. He told me his gf asked him about it. Just made me laugh.

ModernLats said:
Lmfao damn right
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Lol Im on a test booster so I can only imagine how bad it is with test. You probably sense sluts before you even see them :lmao: Its like a damn superpower. Just call it slut sense :rofl:
 
My girls dresses like a slut when she goes out without me LOL I don't complain because I do the same Haha. I have a ringing noise in my head for some reason, anyway your always talking about chicks you lucky bastard I wish I was still single and looked as good as I do now.
 
Rodja said:
You'd be surprised how much a smile will do to help meeting people.
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So true. Just say hello to people... anyone you pass that day. Wish them a good morning, even if you dont start conversation you till might have made someones day. And it just makes you more comfortable to address others in a casual manner.

All in all, im open and outgoing. My friends know me to tell a story or describe something and end up standing on a chair or running across the room. So I attract attention just because its how I am... it doesnt bother me, i know what im about and i dont play conservative. You cant be "that guy" without being that guy.

In application to meeting single women - the first thing I do when I go somewhere is hit on the bartender. Its her job to be flirtatious so shes gonna talk to you and shes probably smoking hot so its a good "warm up."
 
Tomahawk88 said:
I think u r on to something but it is hard to just not care. Not wired that way.
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It takes some practice but if you force yourself not to care for a little bit, then eventually its just how you are. I could never do that back when I was in high school which was only 3 years ago. I used to be shy and real quiet, but after forcing myself to talk to more people, and to just be myself when around new people, people seem to want to talk to me more. I used to go to a party where I would know one person, and leave knowing one person. Now I go to a party knowing one person, and leave knowing them all. Just dont worry about people likeing you. Im a smart ass and odds are when I meet a group of new people, someone wont like me. But most people will be drawn to someone who is just having fun.
 
anabolicRyan1 said:
I dig nerdy librarian type girls. ::drool:: Haha

But variety is the spice of life, right?
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One of my favorite thing to do if im into a girl is get her to read a book you both would enjoy. Gives you topic for discussion, now you have incentive to read a good book, and shes now subliminally got you on her mind allllll day. BOOM!!!

I recommend The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. Long ass book but addicting.
 
prld2gr8ns said:
That's actually a good thing. Most guys love a girl that can interact with their friends and social counterparts and not feel intmidated. It's a very attractive trait that a lot of males want and look for.

Now on the other hand, it's pretty much a death sentence when a guy is considered "One of the girls".:crying:
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Ehhh, I see what youre saying but have my disagreements. Because every guy wants/needs a girl whos strictly platonic relationship. If i need new clothes i dont go without her otherwise its gonna be a disaster. Yeah its great to meet a girl and know you can be boyish around her but if you hear shes "one of the guys" you immediately start assimilating that.
 
speaking of dogs.. that's a great way to be social. Get a dog, take it to the park, walk it around the block, you meet all kinds of interesting people that would love to chat about your puppy. Taking them to a dog park is just as much a social interaction for people as it is for the dog, plus it's fun. :thumbsup:
 
toughchick401 said:
<rolling eyes> I knew it...the slutty girls always win....ohhh well to bad something I will never be.......
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No TC, not always.

Tomahawk88 said:
I didnt say I liked them. Just said my eyes might get diverted. Cant help it if my head turns(pun). But seriously I dont want a slutty girl.
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Yes they do turn my head. Most of the time in disgust. It seems girls have very little self respect these days.
 
I actually have a thing for nerdy,artistic, pretty smart chicks...they are usually unaware of themselves, which makes them more attractive, and since they've developed more aspects of themselves outside of just "beauty", it's far sexier to me.

Another way to meet new people and possibly make friends, is to stand next to someone at the urinal and say..."hey any of you bros got myspace?"
 
prld2gr8ns said:
speaking of dogs.. that's a great way to be social. Get a dog, take it to the park, walk it around the block, you meet all kinds of interesting people that would love to chat about your puppy. Taking them to a dog park is just as much a social interaction for people as it is for the dog, plus it's fun. :thumbsup:
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My dog just had puppys so me and my one friend decided when its old enough were taking it to the beach. Perfect way to meet girls.
 
JComp said:
My dog just had puppys so me and my one friend decided when its old enough were taking it to the beach. Perfect way to meet girls.
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it works... it really works. dog parks too... my ex got the dog in the split so I've borrowed him a few times!
 
StangBanger said:
it works... it really works. dog parks too... my ex got the dog in the split so I've borrowed him a few times!
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Ive never thought of dog parks. Looks like thats going to be my new hangout. I wish I could keep one of the puppys just for this reason but we already have 3 dogs. I figure a puppy would work better for chicks than a dog, but I'll work with what I have.
 
Dogs Do The Trick!

JComp said:
My dog just had puppys so me and my one friend decided when its old enough were taking it to the beach. Perfect way to meet girls.
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I agree man dogs are really the way to someone's heart "by accident" It's a great conversation starter and it really takes the focus off of you, which most guys don't mind. Make the conversation about your pet instead, and your really have a great start!
 
Dog Tricks

StangBanger said:
it works... it really works. dog parks too... my ex got the dog in the split so I've borrowed him a few times!
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Tell you what, if you teach your dog a trick like shake or paw...Your stock goes up 200% too! Man talk about your dog being your bestfriend. Your dog will become your wingman!
 
Open Not Evil

Conagher said:
This is not exclusive to women.The bad girls are the ones that always seem to keep me transfixed,at least for awhile.They mesmerize you,sort of like a snake.You know they are evil,but it is hard to avert your gaze.
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I really don't think the "bad girls" are really that bad. They are just "open" they SAY and DO the things that others girls wish they could...They are just confident in who they are and not scared of others opinions. The "shy" girls usually just do the same actions behind closed doors, but just would refer not to talk about it. ;-) Plus I bet the "bad girls" are all just scorpios...LOL
 
MuscleGauge1 said:
I really don't think the "bad girls" are really that bad. They are just "open" they SAY and DO the things that others girls wish they could...They are just confident in who they are and not scared of others opinions. The "shy" girls usually just do the same actions behind closed doors, but just would refer not to talk about it. ;-) Plus I bet the "bad girls" are all just scorpios...LOL
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Scorpios are fun, until someone loses an eye or restraining order.
 
Winning Is Losing

toughchick401 said:
<rolling eyes> I knew it...the slutty girls always win....ohhh well to bad something I will never be.......
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Not sure I would call that "Winning" (No Charlie Sheen Pun Intended) I would really call that losing. The girls who don't "show all their cards" are the most intriguing. If you walked into a strip club and all the girls were already naked, why would you pay any money? #JustSayin
 
MuscleGauge1 said:
Tell you what, if you teach your dog a trick like shake or paw...Your stock goes up 200% too! Man talk about your dog being your bestfriend. Your dog will become your wingman!
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My dog is crazy smart. He gives High fives, and I can put out my fist and say pound it and he hits the top with his paw. Plus all the basics like roll over. Should be the perfect wingman.
 
my buddy has some Jack Russels... his oldest and seemingly smartest one is awesome... my buds from Texas and this one is named Tex..

well if you shoot "Tex" (make a gun with your hand) and say "bang" the dog rolls onto his back and plays dead..

it is friggin hysterical... and the ladies LOVE it.
 
Should Be?

JComp said:
My dog is crazy smart. He gives High fives, and I can put out my fist and say pound it and he hits the top with his paw. Plus all the basics like roll over. Should be the perfect wingman.
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Should be? Why not now! Def. go for it man! It's a win-win situation.
 
That's the Stuff

StangBanger said:
my buddy has some Jack Russels... his oldest and seemingly smartest one is awesome... my buds from Texas and this one is named Tex..

well if you shoot "Tex" (make a gun with your hand) and say "bang" the dog rolls onto his back and plays dead..

it is friggin hysterical... and the ladies LOVE it.
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That is worth every lesson taught! Def. a cool trick seen it before. LOL Dogs are the best wingmen ever. Just have to have a great relationship with your pet and they have fun showing off anyways.
 
This is a great little thread.

I'll add that the smile and eye contact are king, in my book. I have a restored sense of confidence after being in Hawaii. I talked to a ton of girls while we were out waiting to catch waves and it wasn't hitting on them, either - just good conversation, which is nice.

After that experience, I've decided to be more confident on a regular basis. Tons of eye contact and flash them pearly whites ;). It gives a woman something to give a second look at.
 
Its crazy how just one little thing can boost your confidence. Like Midwest said just normal conversation with some girls. My lastest confidence booster was some 35 year old nurse at my moms doctor trying to get me to spend 3 days with her at Put-in-bay. Since then I find myself more ****y and confident talking to people. Just one thing that makes you feel good about yourself can do wonders in how you interact with other people.
 
JComp said:
Ive never thought of dog parks. Looks like thats going to be my new hangout. I wish I could keep one of the puppys just for this reason but we already have 3 dogs. I figure a puppy would work better for chicks than a dog, but I'll work with what I have.
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I used to have an oceanfront condo and I would walk my roommates dog just to meet girls on the boardwalk. Eventually she caught on and wouldn't let me take him out. damn her, ruining my fun.
 
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