Trick or Treat for LG Sciences Weekly give away in in October.

I don't know any Chuck Norris jokes, that home gym thing he used to do a few years back was pretty much a joke... :)
 
Tradition holds that whoever touched the Biblical Ark of the Covenant would die. Josephus tells of an inscription on the Ark of a strange, bearded baby boy doing a roundhouse kick. You do the math.




Lame, I know, but I had to give the big three religions equal coverage. ;)
 
oufinny said:
Your life is now at risk JUST for mentioning the possibly Chuck has a toupe!
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POSSIBLY??????

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This just in, Chuck Norris has just suffered a surprising defeat. Feeling his Royal Chuckness he challenged Donald Trump to a Hairstyle throwdown. Obviously even Chucks toupee was no match for the MIGHTY ONION!!!
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Yeah he is getting old but that toupee has been around since the beginning of Walker Texas Ranger. Drove me nuts to see it all the time but I still watched my boy do his thang. He does look very old right now though. Of course he is close to 70 now too I think.
 
MrKleen73 said:
Yeah he is getting old but that toupee has been around since the beginning of Walker Texas Ranger. Drove me nuts to see it all the time but I still watched my boy do his thang. He does look very old right now though. Of course he is close to 70 now too I think.
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I actually never knew he really wore a toupee. You've shaken my entire belief system.
 
MrKleen73 said:
Yeah he is getting old but that toupee has been around since the beginning of Walker Texas Ranger. Drove me nuts to see it all the time but I still watched my boy do his thang. He does look very old right now though. Of course he is close to 70 now too I think.
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Chuck has no age. He has eternal life. You're all going to die for saying these things about Chuck!

RIP Volcom, Kleen, and Poison
 
MrKleen73 said:
Yeah he is getting old but that toupee has been around since the beginning of Walker Texas Ranger. Drove me nuts to see it all the time but I still watched my boy do his thang. He does look very old right now though. Of course he is close to 70 now too I think.
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who wins, chuck, or:

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Personally, I think Lalanne is Chuck in disguise.
 
Chuck Norris once killed a pug because he said it looked at him funny.

All women only have one true love..Chuck Norris

^^still deciding which is better; i'll edit one out eventually.
 
poison said:
who wins, chuck, or:

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Personally, I think Lalanne is Chuck in disguise.
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Depends is it physique contest or a bad ass contest?
When bringing up ol badasses what about

Clint Eastwood, Do you feel lucky punk... Well DO YA?!?!
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LOL No it isn't him but I thought it was hilarious when I looked up pics of his.
 
MrKleen73 said:
Depends is it physique contest or a bad ass contest?
When bringing up ol badasses what about

Clint Eastwood, Do you feel lucky punk... Well DO YA?!?!
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LOL No it isn't him but I thought it was hilarious when I looked up pics of his.
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That was what Clint looked like in Gran Tourino when he took his shirt off...
 
VolcomX311 said:
PCT really stands for Post Chuck Therapy.
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What they don't tell you is in that one you are getting your testosterone lowered back down to normal levels. As they automatically rise in the presence of Chuck to supra-physiological levels.
 
MrKleen73 said:
What they don't tell you is in that one you are getting your testosterone lowered back down to normal levels. As they automatically rise in the presence of Chuck to supra-physiological levels.
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Opposite for me. His masculinity was so great that the severe shrinkage it produced when he walked by required Nolva and Clomid to treat. T'was a rough 4 weeks.
 
MrKleen73 said:
Depends is it physique contest or a bad ass contest?
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Ahem.

1954 (age 40): swam the entire length of the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, underwater, with 140 pounds (64 kg; 10 st) of equipment, including two air tanks. A world record.
1955 (age 41): swam from Alcatraz Island to Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco while handcuffed. When interviewed afterwards he was quoted as saying that the worst thing about the ordeal was being handcuffed, which reduced his chance to Star Jump significantly.
1956 (age 42): set a world record of 1,033 push-ups in 23 minutes on You Asked For It, a television program with Art Baker.
1957 (age 43): swam the Golden Gate channel while towing a 2,500-pound (1,100 kg; 180 st) cabin cruiser. The swift ocean currents turned this one-mile (1.6 km) swim into a swimming distance of 6.5 miles (10.5 km).
1958 (age 44): maneuvered a paddleboard nonstop from Farallon Islands to the San Francisco shore. The 30-mile (48 km) trip took 9.5 hours.
1959 (age 45): did 1,000 star jumps and 1,000 chin-ups in 1 hour, 22 minutes and The Jack LaLanne Show went nationwide.
1974 (age 60): For the second time, he swam from Alcatraz Island to Fisherman's Wharf. Again, he was handcuffed, but this time he was also shackled and towed a 1,000-pound (450 kg; 71 st) boat.
1975 (age 61): Repeating his performance of 21 years earlier, he again swam the entire length of the Golden Gate Bridge, underwater and handcuffed, but this time he was shackled and towed a 1,000-pound (450 kg; 71 st) boat.
1976 (age 62): To commemorate the "Spirit of '76", United States Bicentennial, he swam one mile (1.6 km) in Long Beach Harbor. He was handcuffed and shackled, and he towed 13 boats (representing the 13 original colonies) containing 76 people. LOL WTF???
1979 (age 65): towed 65 boats in Lake Ashinoko, near Tokyo, Japan. He was handcuffed and shackled, and the boats were filled with 6,500 pounds (2,900 kg; 460 st) of Louisiana Pacific wood pulp.[19]
1980 (age 66): towed 10 boats in North Miami, Florida. The boats carried 77 people, and he towed them for over one mile (1.6 km) in less than one hour.
1984 (age 70): Once again handcuffed and shackled, he fought strong winds and currents as he swam 1.5 miles (2.4 km) while towing 70 boats with 70 people from the Queensway Bay Bridge in the Long Beach Harbor to the Queen Mary.
[edit]Timeline: Jack LaLanne's awards

1992 (age 78): Jack received the Academy of Body Building and Fitness Award.
1994 (age 80): Jack received the State of California Governor's Council on Physical Fitness Lifetime Achievement Award.
1996 (age 82): Jack received the Dwight D. Eisenhower Fitness Award.
1999 (age 85): Jack received the Spirit of Muscle Beach Award.
2002 (age 88): Jack received a star on the Hollywood Boulevard Walk of Fame.
2004 (age 90): Jack celebrated his 90th birthday in New York, San Francisco, and Los Angeles. ESPN Classic ran a 24-hour marathon of the original Jack LaLanne television shows.
2004 (age 90): Jack became the official spokesperson for Covenant Reliance Producers, LLC, a Financial Marketing Organization based in Nashville, Tennessee
2005 (age 91): Jack received the Jack Webb Award from the Los Angeles Police Department Historical Society, the Arnold Classic Lifetime Achievement Award, Interglobal's International Infomercial Award, the Freddie Award, and the Medical Media Public Service Award, and he was a Free Spirit honoree at Al Neuharth's Freedom Forum.
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He out-Chucks Chuck! :huh:
 
Well if you are gonna be that way Jack is the man. BUT Chuck could still kick his azz. LOL
 
I agree that bruce lee would woop up on chuck!
But ill give the lg product a go, and put up a entry.

When chuck norris does push ups, he doesn't push himself up he pushes the earth down.

Chuck norris practices swan diving into pools of diamonds, when he's not in exotic car throwing competitions.
 
WAKE UP EVERYONE!!!!! MOAR JOKES PLEASE!!! I need a good laugh today.
 
Chuck Norris has only ever cried once in hi...wait, Chuck has never cried, sorry i dont know where i was going with that.
 
RepThat21 said:
Chuck Norris has only ever cried once in hi...wait, Chuck has never cried, sorry i dont know where i was going with that.
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If Chuck cried, the oceans would overflow... :shocked:
 
Chuck Norris beard can deflect a shot from a 357 magnum.
 
Man reading all of these has me about to go rent me some old Chuck Movies. What was that one where the guy was possesed or something. All I remember is he just kept coming back. Chuck ended up throwing him into a well at the end. Man I loved that one when I was a teenager.
 
Knock knock?
 
You're supposed to say "chuck norris eats mop who."

Now everyone say it out loud.
 
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