Opinions please...

mindgame said:
what did i tell you. she was going to break up with him the whole time but just waiting for the right time. I bet shes one of those females who hates to be single or alone for a long period of time. GL on saturday though.
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Ironically, she had been single for 3 years before that.

Oh yeah, and get this, she says she's a virgin still. Doesn't seem like the type to make up a such a lie, but still. I am not going to be passive, but not aggressive either. One of my friends always tells me, "Be assertive, not aggressive."
 
Rodja said:
Ironically, she had been single for 3 years before that.

Oh yeah, and get this, she says she's a virgin still. Doesn't seem like the type to make up a such a lie, but still. I am not going to be passive, but not aggressive either. One of my friends always tells me, "Be assertive, not aggressive."
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If you're doing it right, you don't need to be either; she should be aggressive/assertive towards you.

If you want the quickest way to gauge her interest, throw her a false disqualification - that is, say "well, you're not wild enough for me then" nonchalantly. Just in conversation. Or, "I LOVE girls with blonde hair", as she's a brunette. Being disqualified flips an attraction switch; if you're that brazen and confident, obviously, you have unrevealed qualities.

Desperate dudes compliment.
 
Trauma1 said:
And for every bad story, there is a good one. I've been on both sides brother. When the time is right, the opportunity will present itself. Whether or not you decide to act upon it, well that is another story.
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this is very true, you just gotta play it slow and see how it goes. if the chemistry continues to grow, then it will be worth it. you have nothing to lose
 
Mulletsoldier said:
If you're doing it right, you don't need to be either; she should be aggressive/assertive towards you.

If you want the quickest way to gauge her interest, throw her a false disqualification - that is, say "well, you're not wild enough for me then" nonchalantly. Just in conversation. Or, "I LOVE girls with blonde hair", as she's a brunette. Being disqualified flips an attraction switch; if you're that brazen and confident, obviously, you have unrevealed qualities.

Desperate dudes compliment.
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Sh!t, she is just as, if not more so, shy as I am. I think if I don't move it along, then nothing may come of it. I'm sure as hell not gonna let that happen, either. I've never had a girl this hot have any sort of attraction to me, which is one of the things that is making me so uptight. I did notice that I was a lot more relaxed today, so I am making some progress in that regard.
 
Rodja said:
Sh!t, she is just as, if not more so, shy as I am. I think if I don't move it along, then nothing may come of it. I'm sure as hell not gonna let that happen, either. I've never had a girl this hot have any sort of attraction to me, which is one of the things that is making me so uptight. I did notice that I was a lot more relaxed today, so I am making some progress in that regard.
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Dude, do as I said. You have to appear pre-selected by other females - it drives competition. Even if it's a female friend. Also, gauge her self-esteem. If it's low, lay eazy on the teasing and disqualifications; if it's high, that will draw her in.

Availability is non-attractive, not pre-cognitively, but sub-cognitively. We did not evolve into apex creatures by choosing the most feeble, most obviously unselected mates. We evolved to apex status via dominance competitions for female mating; and therein, females choosing which males posed the highest possibility for survival, and successive reproduction of the most dominant genes.

If you're pre-selected, you have good genes; if you're perpetually available, you obviously don't.

Like I said, desperate dudes compliment. Forget her number deliberately, and tell her you had a million other things on your mind; you can maybe meet her at 'X' social congregation on 'X' day, though. Show up with another woman (totally plutonic) and fain interest in your target's friends. All sounds stupid, but it works.
 
Mulletsoldier said:
Dude, do as I said. You have to appear pre-selected by other females - it drives competition. Even if it's a female friend. Also, gauge her self-esteem. If it's low, lay eazy on the teasing and disqualifications; if it's high, that will draw her in.

Availability is non-attractive, not pre-cognitively, but sub-cognitively. We did not evolve into apex creatures by choosing the most feeble, most obviously unselected mates. We evolved to apex status via dominance competitions for female mating; and therein, females choosing which males posed the highest possibility for survival, and successive reproduction of the most dominant genes.

If you're pre-selected, you have good genes; if you're perpetually available, you obviously don't.

Like I said, desperate dudes compliment. Forget her number deliberately, and tell her you had a million other things on your mind; you can maybe meet her at 'X' social congregation on 'X' day, though. Show up with another woman (totally plutonic) and fain interest in your target's friends. All sounds stupid, but it works.
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Luckily, I won't have to fake being busy because of my fight prep I have for the next 2 months. I have made very few compliments towards her for the reasons you said: I don't want to appear desperate. The biggest challenge for me will be to maintain the relaxation that I have had recently around her. Although, I guess I should truly be relaxed around her regardless. I really just don't want to look like a schmuck and then end up relegated to "just some guy" status.
 
just give her some good ol' vitamin D and find someone else! if she really has a bf and is out with you she will most likely pull the same sh@t on you. first impressions are a ***** sometimes.

edit: i just read the rest of the thread...i hurry sometime...my bad. good luck homie, keep your pimp hand strong though!
 
rodja, maybe she's in one of those "i am dating him just to say i have a BF". i know many women that will date anybody, just to say they're with someone. then when someone better comes along they jump ship. just make sure you're the one they stay with, not the one that they're trying to replace. in other words, don't spend a crapload of money real quick on her, but still treat her right.
 
mindgame said:
any updates on this rodja?
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Didn't see this til today. Right now I am not quite sure where we stand. We had a nice date last Friday night and we talked everyday during the week as well. She went home to a friend's wedding, so I haven't talked to her much the past few days. I'm not going to really bring anything up this week until after my fight so I can have a clear head. She is going to be there, though, which is something that I have never experienced.
 
Figured I would give a little update on this. We weren't talking too much during the week leading up to my fight on 7/26. It was still everyday, but not for more than 10 minutes or so. The night of my fight, we bought a few beers and watched a few movies. More of a relaxing kind of evening. I was getting tired and she wasn't trashed, but I did not want her driving. I told her that I would sleep on the couch and then worry about everything tomorrow morning. Another hour passed and we had been snugly while watching the last movie, but I was gassed for the night...or so I though. She asked me if I wanted to sleep in her bed and, of course, I said yes. Fast forward to today and we have been spending so much time together. Out of the 10 days since then, we have stayed the night with each other 6 times.
She is going home for a week on Friday, which is going to suck balls, but I have been having such an amazing time with her. We just sit there and talk about the most random things and she is just as sarcastic as me. My friends ask me what we did and I really can't remember because we have just a stream of consciousness conversation. It's awesome that we don't have to go anywhere or really do anything and we still have so much fun.
 
Rodja said:
Figured I would give a little update on this. We weren't talking too much during the week leading up to my fight on 7/26. It was still everyday, but not for more than 10 minutes or so. The night of my fight, we bought a few beers and watched a few movies. More of a relaxing kind of evening. I was getting tired and she wasn't trashed, but I did not want her driving. I told her that I would sleep on the couch and then worry about everything tomorrow morning. Another hour passed and we had been snugly while watching the last movie, but I was gassed for the night...or so I though. She asked me if I wanted to sleep in her bed and, of course, I said yes. Fast forward to today and we have been spending so much time together. Out of the 10 days since then, we have stayed the night with each other 6 times.
She is going home for a week on Friday, which is going to suck balls, but I have been having such an amazing time with her. We just sit there and talk about the most random things and she is just as sarcastic as me. My friends ask me what we did and I really can't remember because we have just a stream of consciousness conversation. It's awesome that we don't have to go anywhere or really do anything and we still have so much fun.
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Wow... sounds like you're well on your way my friend. Her mom is safe, for now. ;)
 
Rodja said:
Ironically, she had been single for 3 years before that.

Oh yeah, and get this, she says she's a virgin still. Doesn't seem like the type to make up a such a lie, but still. I am not going to be passive, but not aggressive either. One of my friends always tells me, "Be assertive, not aggressive."
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That's what mine said when I first started dating her. I didnt think it was possible for her at 24 considering how attractive and cool she was. We actually dated a year before we finally slept together. She wasn't lying. :P
 
Usf97j4x4 said:
Wow... sounds like you're well on your way my friend. Her mom is safe, for now. ;)
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Yep, totally unexpected. I tried to kiss her on my b-day and she said that we're just friends, which confused the **** out of me because we kissed just a few days earlier. I didn't give up and I am really glad that I didn't.
 
Congrats bro, I hope things work out on this. I also was a goober as a teen, though I have confidence and muscle and blah blah blah, I still lose all my confidence in front of a girl. Though I get alot of flirts and looks and they are interested in me, I am partially clueless, all of the time lol.

Good work on the catch mate!
 
Rodja said:
I have been talking to a girl for the past couple of weeks (we have a class together) and we went on a lunch date yesterday. Sadly, it took me almost a week to ask her out to something so simple, but that's beside the point. The actual lunch went really well and I can tell that she is into me and vice versa. However, right at the tail end of it, she casually throws out that she has a BF. It was relevant to the conversation we were having, she didn't just up and mention it. Not once did I get the vibe that she was dating anyone, so this completely caught me off guard.

Then, to add to the confusion, she mentions that she is probably going to break it off (they've only been together for about a month). Seriously, WTF is that about? I have talked to a few of my gal friends and they have all said that she likes me, but to not be too pushy. So, my fellow AM'ers what is your take on this whole situation?
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Remember, you might be the next victim. She might like having the fresh start and get bored fast. I would learn a little bit about her before diving into this one. not to mention such a quick transition could be a disaster.
 
Dont let peopel put crap if your head bro! It sounds like its working out great for you Rodj and keep it going! I wish you good luck my man and i wish you all the happiness! :head:
 
3clipseGT said:
Dont let peopel put crap if your head bro! It sounds like its working out great for you Rodj and keep it going! I wish you good luck my man and i wish you all the happiness! :head:
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x2! Those who have been scorned in the past will always try and throw a wet blanket on a great situation. Just play things by ear and enjoy yourself.
 
slow-mun said:
x2! Those who have been scorned in the past will always try and throw a wet blanket on a great situation. Just play things by ear and enjoy yourself.
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What was so weird is that we both agreed to take things slowly and let them develop. I think that was said last Wednesday and there has only been 1 night since then that we weren't with each other.:icon_lol:

It is probably a good thing that she is going home for a week so we can have a moment to ourselves because I don't want to end up with her all the time. Not that I don't love the time I spend with her, it's just healthy for every relationship to have space.
 
Rodja said:
What was so weird is that we both agreed to take things slowly and let them develop. I think that was said last Wednesday and there has only been 1 night since then that we weren't with each other.:icon_lol:

It is probably a good thing that she is going home for a week so we can have a moment to ourselves because I don't want to end up with her all the time. Not that I don't love the time I spend with her, it's just healthy for every relationship to have space.
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For sure man! If the feelings are true ( which im sure they are ) when you guys are away they will only grow stronger!

When i first felli love, me and this chick moved pretty quick, she went away for 2 weeks to europe for a school trip, i knew right then it was for real and was head over heels for this chick! Time and space are great tellers of love! :thumbsup:
 
3clipseGT said:
For sure man! If the feelings are true ( which im sure they are ) when you guys are away they will only grow stronger!

When i first felli love, me and this chick moved pretty quick, she went away for 2 weeks to europe for a school trip, i knew right then it was for real and was head over heels for this chick! Time and space are great tellers of love! :thumbsup:
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It's getting retarded. I think about her all day and she does the same. It's just refreshing to be around someone that I really dig and is into me as well. The hardest thing to do is leave the apt in the morning because I would much rather be in bed with her. I always wake up hours before her, even on weekends, and I usually just lie there and look at her while holding her. I really can't think of an adjective to adequately describe this. It's the little things like holding hands that really tell the story and I think the no sex thing is really allowing the relationship to develop before it gets physical. All of my friend and family have been making comments about my demeanor and how I seem to be re-energized all the time.
 
Rodja said:
It's getting retarded. I think about her all day and she does the same. It's just refreshing to be around someone that I really dig and is into me as well. The hardest thing to do is leave the apt in the morning because I would much rather be in bed with her. I always wake up hours before her, even on weekends, and I usually just lie there and look at her while holding her. I really can't think of an adjective to adequately describe this. It's the little things like holding hands that really tell the story and I think the no sex thing is really allowing the relationship to develop before it gets physical. All of my friend and family have been making comments about my demeanor and how I seem to be re-energized all the time.
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Keep enjoying every minute of it. Its one of the best feelings in the world. No adjective can describe what you feel right now. Only those who have been fortunate enough to experience it can truly understand. :thumbsup:
 
Just read this whole thread, and it's great to see how things developed for you, Rodja! Props to you, and I hope things continue to blossom for you guys. It sounds like you've got a great situation going on there! :)

I was/am a dork, and have never really been good with women... I recently had a smoking hot girl basically lay herself on a platter for me to take, and I still managed to screw it up... But I'm learning, and I think I'm better for it. And I see no way it'll happen again.. Anyways, I'm rambling now, but it's good to hear a story like this. Way to go, bro. :)
 
rhodesman said:
Keep enjoying every minute of it. Its one of the best feelings in the world. No adjective can describe what you feel right now. Only those who have been fortunate enough to experience it can truly understand. :thumbsup:
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Congrats again Rodja, just make sure to send us invitations to the wedding!

lol, I sometimes wonder if I will ever say the "L" word again myself.

There is a saying. "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift, that is why it its called the present!"

Enjoy yourself bud, relax and understand you have a woman on your hands who wants to be with you for YOU, is not focused on sex, who understands true relationship values and what a family should be. Blessings upon your relationship!
 
I would say this:

A true friendship is the key to a long relationship. I will be celebrating my 30th anniversary on the 25th of this month. Our relationship started out as friends cause she was dating someone and so was I. The guy she was with treated her badly and as a friend who was developing feelings for her I couldn't deal with that. The girl I was with was a toy to me so, I made my move and I guess the rest is history.

Now in the years we've been together it hasn't all been smooth but our friendship is what got us through the tough times. Good luck


:bruce3:
 
The key to this whole thing for me has been relaxation and not trying to be something that I'm not. She could see that I was genuine and not just trying to get laid and I think that allowed her to really open up to me. We get along so well and it seems like we are laughing all the time over the dumbest things. I met her bro this weekend and he was a little apprehensive about me staying with her the past couple of days, but I made a point to talk with him privately about my intentions and what not. We were on the porch for about an hour and we really cleared a lot of air and he told me that she really likes me and has told her parents about me. They're even cool with me fighting, which is a huge bonus. She left this morning and will be back on Friday and we will be spending the rest of the weekend together.
 
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