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Motivate my GF!

Jake Fires

Jake Fires

Active member
how the hell can i motivate my gf to workout. shes real cute and would be damn sexy if she would just tone up!

she goes into little bursts of working out. never long enough to see results.. its damn frustrating. i just know she would learn to love it if she can just push herself to that point where results really start comming in.

what can i tell her?
 
Jake Fires said:
how the hell can i motivate my gf to workout. shes real cute and would be damn sexy if she would just tone up!

she goes into little bursts of working out. never long enough to see results.. its damn frustrating. i just know she would learn to love it if she can just push herself to that point where results really start comming in.

what can i tell her?
Click to expand...

She needs to want to do it for HER, not because YOU want her to. Motivation is something SHE has to find - otherwise, if she starts it, she will not last very long. You can talk to her about the health and fitness benefits of being active, but unless SHE wants to do it, then if you mention it, she will probably either take it as criticism or something else. If the reason she doesn't want to train is because she thinks she'll get big and bulky, correct her and show her a few women who lift weights and are still very feminine, or read my article Invalid Link Removed. At the end of the day, SHE should like and be comfortable with her body, and if she currently is, well, then...

~Team APPNUT
 
^^ Hey Rosie - good advice - that link is dead tho. Maybe you can edit it.

OP - IDK bro. Like Rosie said, you have to do you and let her do her. Maybe she's happy with how she looks right now. I know plenty of people who are.... not chubby but soft and they dont really care.

If it really bothers you, break it off with her. Single people are always in better shape cause they need to be. :joke:
 
CrazyChemist said:
If it really bothers you, break it off with her. Single people are always in better shape cause they need to be. :joke:
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My ex GF broke up with me bc she didn't like how much I worked out lol. She felt it was taking away time from her. But long story short... screw her. She never once supported me in my goal from going from 20%+ BF down to 6% at my best.

If this is the lifestyle you want to live, and she doesn't share the same ambitions/goals then you need to think if long term this is even worth it.

Maybe she's intimidated or insecure and feels like you're judging her. And that will make here do the exact opposite of what you want just out of spite. Just try and include her. If she doesn't pick it up on her own then there is NO good way to tell a GF you wish she would loose a few !
 
EustisPanther said:
My ex GF broke up with me bc she didn't like how much I worked out lol. She felt it was taking away time from her. But long story short... screw her. She never once supported me in my goal from going from 20%+ BF down to 6% at my best.

If this is the lifestyle you want to live, and she doesn't share the same ambitions/goals then you need to think if long term this is even worth it.

Maybe she's intimidated or insecure and feels like you're judging her. And that will make here do the exact opposite of what you want just out of spite. Just try and include her. If she doesn't pick it up on her own then there is NO good way to tell a GF you wish she would loose a few !
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Yeah there is some truth to it. I mean, I'd never be so shallow as to say break up with a girl cause she doesnt go to the gym. But if you enjoy being active and she doesnt then maybe you'd be happy with someone who shares more of your passions, OP.

If your girl doesnt like the gym maybe go for jogs together, bike rides, rock climbing, hiking, swimming, etc. Also, make meals together so her diet is improved. Drop facts about dieting, like about eating more meals a day than just 3, etc. There are alot of ways to be fit and toned, esp. for a female IMO (correct me if I'm wrong Rosie), without necessarily lifting weights or jogging a treadmill.
 
oh yeah please don't take that as me saying dump her a** bc you think she's a little heavy. I mean I was 235lbs or so looking like the marsh mellow man when my ex met me. She still loved me and I loved her, always will. (the screw her part was 3 years of frustration) She stuck with me through all of my struggles but they certainly weren't any easier because of her.

My advice, find out how much this girl means to you. See what progress can be made so that you two are both equally happy and satisfied. But at the end of the day, if you're not physically attracted to someone anymore, you can't help that... it's not your fault, and that doesn't make you a shallow person... It means you're human.

I will love my ex until the day I die. But the physical attraction doesn't exist anymore, and it didn't for the last year of our relationship. Partly for the same reason you want your gf to change her lifestyle a little. (in case you're wondering, she broke up with me. I didn't dump her bc I was loosing physical attraction)
 
good input. thing is i am physically atracted to her its just shes got a little chub in the middle which takes away from her overall looks you know.

ive tried getting her to just go take a walk with me and its always a pain for her. she can do it she just dont want 2. we have hills around here.

idk i tried to ask her last night nicely. i just say " will you please just workout with me a little bit, i know youll end up enjoying how you feel."

she said yes so were gonna give it a shot. im just gonna ask her to join me about 3 times a week. every other day.
now all i need is some good workouts that will slim her waist line!
 
Jake Fires said:
good input. thing is i am physically atracted to her its just shes got a little chub in the middle which takes away from her overall looks you know.

ive tried getting her to just go take a walk with me and its always a pain for her. she can do it she just dont want 2. we have hills around here.

idk i tried to ask her last night nicely. i just say " will you please just workout with me a little bit, i know youll end up enjoying how you feel."

she said yes so were gonna give it a shot. im just gonna ask her to join me about 3 times a week. every other day.
now all i need is some good workouts that will slim her waist line!
Click to expand...

Well congrats on getting her on board. Remember, diet trumps training which trumps supplements - everytime. Without a change in diet you won't see great results.
 
CrazyChemist said:
...hat link is dead tho...
Click to expand...

Fixed.


Jake Fires said:
now all i need is some good workouts that will slim her waist line!
Click to expand...

As already said, NUTRITION is the key to losing fat. Take a look at Invalid Link Removed - everything you (and she) need to know about nutrition and training for fat loss is in that article.

~Team APPNUT
 
I know one thing...it can be a very touch subject and you have to watch how you word things when telling your lady she should go to the gym/tone up etc...

Godspeed, bro.
 
Some girls are comfortable with their bodies even though they are 25% bodyfat. They see so many 200lb women running around that they think they look good. It's damn near impossible to motivate a girl. I broke up with a girl and that motivated her but it was only temporary.

Oh and yes I'm shallow...or something. I'm fine with leaving a girl that does not want to look good. It's her choice. We usually do not see each other much anyway cause I'm doing healthy things while she is not.

Sometimes I get the blame because I'm always eating and the my girlfriends get hungry. Bad thing is they dont eat their portion size, they eat mine and get fat.

If she was in sports in highschool then she knows how to be an athlete. Its very hard to get a 22yr old to start workingout if she has never done a sport before. And if she is getting chubby at 22 then it just gets worse when she gets older unless a life changing event happens.
 
man i just won this war. for the past few months ive been making suddel hints about my gf working out. around where i live there are some walking trails where alot of people run. me and my gf were walking them one night when i suggested we come back next time and run them. lo and behold, she was right on board. now she loves it. if only i could get her in the weight room...but i refuse to workout with a female.
 
dusty said:
man i just won this war. for the past few months ive been making suddel hints about my gf working out. around where i live there are some walking trails where alot of people run. me and my gf were walking them one night when i suggested we come back next time and run them. lo and behold, she was right on board. now she loves it. if only i could get her in the weight room...but i refuse to workout with a female.
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Why do you refuse to workout with a female?
 
Ive tried it before, (so dont go knockin me just yet), and it just doesnt fit me. i like for my workouts to be intense and ive never met a female workout partner who match a male intensity.
 
wastedwhiteboy2 said:
It's damn near impossible to motivate a girl. I broke up with a girl and that motivated her but it was only temporary..
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ive broken up with her before 2. she did ab lounge sit ups like every day , came back lookin so good i had to take her back lol. now she dont do anything!

can you believe these women? lmao ridiculous
 
Jake Fires said:
ive broken up with her before 2. she did ab lounge sit ups like every day , came back lookin so good i had to take her back lol. now she dont do anything!

can you believe these women? lmao ridiculous
Click to expand...

suggest a 3some - this will invoke a little competition without having to break up with her.
 
dusty said:
Ive tried it before, (so dont go knockin me just yet), and it just doesnt fit me. i like for my workouts to be intense and ive never met a female workout partner who match a male intensity.
Click to expand...

Well, just know that there are plenty of women out there that train just as hard or harder than men. I happen to be one of them.
 
Jake Fires said:
ive broken up with her before 2. she did ab lounge sit ups like every day , came back lookin so good i had to take her back lol. now she dont do anything!

can you believe these women? lmao ridiculous
Click to expand...

First off, this is the female fitness thread. If you want so badly for her to look good, why don't you tell her to be part of this thread instead of saying things like that behind her back. It doesn't make you manly and it sure doesn't make you a supportive boyfriend. If you want to make offensive generalizations toward women then do it somewhere else. There are plenty of threads under "General Chat" that welcomes it.

Second, read these threads right here and Invalid Link Removed.
 
My wife used to have problems with committing herself to working out and improving her overall health. I took the role of all the cooking for the two of us and whether she liked the taste or not she had no choice but to eat or cook for her self. Just from diet change she lost about 5 to 10 pounds and started to become excited and motivated to lose more. After seeing results she wanted more and decided to sign up with me at the gym. She asked me for a boost and I bought her Speed V-2 and Opti-Women. She is now on her third bottle of Speed V-2 and more than 15 pounds down and looks damn sexy! Now the problem is I can't get her out of the gym, lol. Now she is getting ready for Vegas Rehab on May 26th. I can't wait.

My point is somehow your girl needs to see results to motivate herself. A lot of girls feel it is not possible, but once they lose that first few pounds it gets exciting and they want to lose more.

My wife really had no choice. I do not allow coke, sweets or simple carbohydrates inside of my house.
 
BMCLouzee said:
First off, this is the female fitness thread. If you want so badly for her to look good, why don't you tell her to be part of this thread instead of saying things like that behind her back. It doesn't make you manly and it sure doesn't make you a supportive boyfriend. If you want to make offensive generalizations toward women then do it somewhere else. There are plenty of threads under "General Chat" that welcomes it.

Second, read these threads right here and Invalid Link Removed.
Click to expand...

i wasnt being offensive, this actually happend! lol. i think its just ridiculous that a girl would lure someone with good looks then, lets themselves go a little when they got what they want.

does that not seem like BS to you or what.?

i know not all women are like that. im not trying to offend anyone, i have respect for girls. im not the guy who thinks they should cook clean and do laundry, thos are all "people" jobs not just women.
 
AnthonyIOSOS said:
My wife used to have problems with committing herself to working out and improving her overall health. I took the role of all the cooking for the two of us and whether she liked the taste or not she had no choice but to eat or cook for her self. Just from diet change she lost about 5 to 10 pounds and started to become excited and motivated to lose more. After seeing results she wanted more and decided to sign up with me at the gym. She asked me for a boost and I bought her Speed V-2 and Opti-Women. She is now on her third bottle of Speed V-2 and more than 15 pounds down and looks damn sexy! Now the problem is I can't get her out of the gym, lol. Now she is getting ready for Vegas Rehab on May 26th. I can't wait.

My point is somehow your girl needs to see results to motivate herself. A lot of girls feel it is not possible, but once they lose that first few pounds it gets exciting and they want to lose more.

My wife really had no choice. I do not allow coke, sweets or simple carbohydrates inside of my house.
Click to expand...

smart with taking over the cooking man , i never thought of that. and is your girl really gonna be on that show?
 
Jake Fires said:
good input. thing is i am physically atracted to her its just shes got a little chub in the middle which takes away from her overall looks you know.

ive tried getting her to just go take a walk with me and its always a pain for her. she can do it she just dont want 2. we have hills around here.

idk i tried to ask her last night nicely. i just say " will you please just workout with me a little bit, i know youll end up enjoying how you feel."

she said yes so were gonna give it a shot. im just gonna ask her to join me about 3 times a week. every other day.
now all i need is some good workouts that will slim her waist line!
Click to expand...


Just start her off real slow, and make sure that YOU understand this is a life style change for her, and it will take a while to adapt. What comes easily and is fun for you, doesnt mean she will share in your joy.

Aim for 15-20 minute a day at 20ish reps per set, and keep the sets low. If you treat her like one of your buddies and you push too hard, shes gonna find the door, and your not going to get her into the gym.
 
secretly ask a friend of hers to get her to start working out. or look at fitness girls online or on a magazine while she is around. once she asks u if u want her to look like that, u can play it off.
 
gbeast said:
secretly ask a friend of hers to get her to start working out. or look at fitness girls online or on a magazine while she is around. once she asks u if u want her to look like that, u can play it off.
Click to expand...

lol, ya i think i would be able to play myself right into a smack across the head./
 
Jake Fires said:
i wasnt being offensive, this actually happend! lol. i think its just ridiculous that a girl would lure someone with good looks then, lets themselves go a little when they got what they want.

does that not seem like BS to you or what.?

i know not all women are like that. im not trying to offend anyone, i have respect for girls. im not the guy who thinks they should cook clean and do laundry, thos are all "people" jobs not just women.
Click to expand...

It's not that she lured you back with her good looks....she's happy and comfortable with where she's at now. This isn't the first time i've seen this happen to a couple that doesn't have working out and eating right as a priority like most of us on this board do.
 
I remember trying to get Louzee into this lifestyle... Wheh did I take a few beatings in the process but the main thing:

Find nice ways to say it while still getting the point across, don't beat around the bush to much but don't be blunt and make her start crying all out either...
Let her know that you love her and that you are trying to look out for her future (I have long history of being overweight so this part was ez for me) tell her that she is making baby steps down a long road that will only end in a total emotional breakdown or a dramatic and nearly impossible change (its not impossible but trust me it is VERY hard to change once you are there)

Know the best thing?
Now Louzee loves it, I swear she is on here more than I am... We have gone to several bodybuilding shows and that has only reinforced her motivation and is bringing her to new levels.

Note:
A big tip I always give out to people....
You must find your own self motivation, if you can't find it you will never succed as you can't be fueled by other peoples fire forever, at one point or another without self motivation you will FAIL... So help her to find that in herself if you want her to succeed and stick to it. This is a lifestyle change, not a 12 week diet and training program... This is for the rest of your life, she must find fun in it. Maybe suggest alternative means of exercise (Louzee hates cardio but loves MMA fighting, etc....)

Now lets hope she doesn't come bite my head off for using her as the example lol
-James
 
gbeast said:
secretly ask a friend of hers to get her to start working out. or look at fitness girls online or on a magazine while she is around. once she asks u if u want her to look like that, u can play it off.
Click to expand...

No offense bro but this is the WORST advice. If the OP had a friend who was a girl who worked out then maybe have her get the girlfriend into it. But telling one of your girlfriend's friends that you think your girlfriend is fat is probably the best way to get castrated.
 
bmcjames said:
I remember trying to get Louzee into this lifestyle... Wheh did I take a few beatings in the process but the main thing:

Find nice ways to say it while still getting the point across, don't beat around the bush to much but don't be blunt and make her start crying all out either...
Let her know that you love her and that you are trying to look out for her future (I have long history of being overweight so this part was ez for me) tell her that she is making baby steps down a long road that will only end in a total emotional breakdown or a dramatic and nearly impossible change (its not impossible but trust me it is VERY hard to change once you are there)

Know the best thing?
Now Louzee loves it, I swear she is on here more than I am... We have gone to several bodybuilding shows and that has only reinforced her motivation and is bringing her to new levels.

Note:
A big tip I always give out to people....
You must find your own self motivation, if you can't find it you will never succed as you can't be fueled by other peoples fire forever, at one point or another without self motivation you will FAIL... So help her to find that in herself if you want her to succeed and stick to it. This is a lifestyle change, not a 12 week diet and training program... This is for the rest of your life, she must find fun in it. Maybe suggest alternative means of exercise (Louzee hates cardio but loves MMA fighting, etc....)

Now lets hope she doesn't come bite my head off for using her as the example lol
-James
Click to expand...

Great posting. Reps bro.
 
Im gonna guess your girl is just comfortable in her own skin...and thats the way it'll be. My buddies girl started hitting the gym after a night at a club when a girl walked by and said "wow he is way to hot for her" she started crying and bought a gym pass the following week.

The way I see it is...there are people that never workout, or that workout to show some sort of athleticism(once in a great while), or do it because they feel insecure, or want to be more confident.

My girl is beautiful, shes 5'4 115lbs. 3/4 asian 1/4 black Her base is built well, but her shoulders/arms/back lack really any definition. Being so small, even 5lbs makes a difference in her appearance around the mid section, arms, etc...

She will go once in a while like once or twice in 2 months... Im a everyday gym rat. Ive tried explaining what I perceive as men liking most, or to just bring her body into proportion, her legs are awesome, her butt is athletic but her upper body lacks.

I've read somewhere when couples workout, it even brings out better sexual desire with one another as well. Men/Women need to want the self-improvement...some people have it, some people dont. But also remember when we're in love, or in relationships..we tend to let things go. Ive been through that alley before.

What I don't understand is...lets say You look 10x better than your gf/bf...why doesn't one desire to look as good or even better than you? I noticed when I was ripped, my girl didn't care one bit about her self. However, she did make hints she was slightly more insecure. Either way, I still find her hot as hell.
 
DrivenDreams said:
What I don't understand is...lets say You look 10x better than your gf/bf...why doesn't one desire to look as good or even better than you? I noticed when I was ripped, my girl didn't care one bit about her self. However, she did make hints she was slightly more insecure. Either way, I still find her hot as hell.
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I noticed that too! I started getting back into working out and looking good and she all of the sudden didn't care about herself and felt insecure.

OP you need to stop working out lol
 
i got her doing a light workout 4 times a week. yesterday was crunches, got her doing a 10 min workout, she woke up sore.

ill prob just try to get her to to core and legs, core and legs.
 
Jake Fires said:
i got her doing a light workout 4 times a week. yesterday was crunches, got her doing a 10 min workout, she woke up sore.

ill prob just try to get her to to core and legs, core and legs.
Click to expand...

How did you get that kind of response? What did you end up doing?
 
I do cardio with a girl and it seems really hard to motivate her..she always says shes to busy which I dont think is the case, but I think im just gonna give her some of my supplements and that should motivate her to get her ass up and come run lol
 
Deeerdre said:
I do cardio with a girl and it seems really hard to motivate her..she always says shes to busy which I dont think is the case, but I think im just gonna give her some of my supplements and that should motivate her to get her ass up and come run lol
Click to expand...

Actually i think a great supplement for a chick would be something like AP or Gbol. Set her up with a solid nutrition partitioner and give her the 411 on when to use it and how it works.
 
i don't think the thread title could have been anymore less thought out and cliché. God, these threads are annoying.
 
I don't have a problem with these types of threads as long as guys don't say anything blatantly rude and sexist.
 
bmcjames said:
I remember trying to get Louzee into this lifestyle... Wheh did I take a few beatings in the process but the main thing:

Find nice ways to say it while still getting the point across, don't beat around the bush to much but don't be blunt and make her start crying all out either...
Let her know that you love her and that you are trying to look out for her future (I have long history of being overweight so this part was ez for me) tell her that she is making baby steps down a long road that will only end in a total emotional breakdown or a dramatic and nearly impossible change (its not impossible but trust me it is VERY hard to change once you are there)
Click to expand...

this actually worked. shes going in and out every other day. this quote ive actually brought up with her as gently as possible. and she was in at giving it another shot.!
 
I just had to bump this with reply about getting my wife to exercise. Like I stated earlier, this is a very touchy subject and you have to watch how you word things.

You can't just come out and say "you're getting fat!" or "you need to exercise!"

Anyway, I started taking walks with my wife. That kept her motivated because we were doing it together. Also, she's not into gyms and has always wanted a pilates machine. So...I got her one of those. She also thought those new step-up shoes were "cute". So...I got her a pair of those.
She took to it and was doing her thing. She noticed her legs looking a little better, she said she felt better during the day and was really into exercising.
We took a ton of pics while at the beach and she got even more motivated because you can see how good her legs/body look in the beach pics. I still offer positive motivation and talk to her about exercising and proper nutrition.
 
it's hard bro. my ex hated exercising but it was paramount to her health. I usually train women from all age groups and body types but she did to want to work out w me. she said I was "too hardcore" but as I showed her how I would train her she eventually kept coming with me.

key point is patience. if she doesn't have the form down or is embarrassed fill the air with positive feedback. it'll pay off in the end.

I ended up leaving the girl tho, she got too damn lazy.
 
coldseed said:
I just had to bump this with reply about getting my wife to exercise. Like I stated earlier, this is a very touchy subject and you have to watch how you word things.

You can't just come out and say "you're getting fat!" or "you need to exercise!"
Click to expand...

It really depends on the woman. Most are too sensitive about such issues, but if you can be blatantly honest with her it definitely helps. My husband has no hesitation in telling me what's what when I gain more fat than I like - or I'll pick myself apart well before he does! She'll know herself though, when she's past the point of being comfortable and needs to make a few changes. And if she wants to make that change, trust me, she WILL.

~Rosie~
The Primordial Woman
 
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