My morning (if this seems written strangely, it was a skype conversation with a coworker).
Ok so where to start...I woke up early (which is where the good ends). I start cooking myself some oatmeal, still half asleep. One of my burners is pretty ****ty in that it will work fine if you need full heat, but when you lower it, it dies out. So I start cooking the oatmeal and realize it is cooking way to fast due to too much heat, so i transfer it to another stovetop.
I start getting dressed. I iron this new white polo I bought (same one I wore yesterday but white). After Ironing it out, etc.., I realize that it has a stain on it. I literally bought it two days ago, and of course realize this after ripping all tags off. **** H&M. So I then start ironing another shirt (a button up) only to realize that the sleeve tore a bit in the wash. Oh well, older shirt, won't be missed. I pull out the one I am wearing and toss it on the couch. Oh ****, time to check that oatmeal.
Oatmeal is burnt. ****. So I remove it, toss it, and say well I guess no B-fast this morning. I then realize that I threw a oven mit on the stove, and it landed on that burner I was using earlier, causing it to burn to the stove grill. Over mit half ruined, the stove top full of burnt on cotton, no idea how I am going to remove that.
Back to ironing, I had set aside the shirt I am wearing now. Its getting to the point that I am outgrowing it, but it is one of my favorite shirts, so I push through. I realize that my dog had been sitting on it on the couch and generally lounging like a little *******. The shirt is now full of dog hair. Pressed for time, I am like **** it, ill grab the lint roller. Hey guess what can I not find? Yep, the lint roller. Me being the psycho ass I am, decide to toss the water I am carrying in my hand at the closet in anger, which scares the **** out of my dog. LITERALLY. He just looked at me scared and **** on the floor. I am pissed.
I clean it up and remove the hair from my shirt. My dog knows he did something wrong so he cowards to his bed. Iron my shirt and pants toss it all on. Goto the bathroom to do my hair, and realize yesterday I had left my tub of hair product open. Normally not a problem, but I use pretty good **** (not being a "oh look at me" type, but its like 18$ for a tiny tub) and it likes to dry out easily. Its still semi-workable, but it takes me twice as long to get it working.
Time to get my teeth clean. I have an electronic toothbrush. I put on the toothpaste and as I goto put it in my mouth, turn it on. Turned it on one second to fast causing it to shoot toothpaste on the mirror I just ****ing cleaned last night. GOD *&(#*ING DAMNIT.
Pressed for time I now need to go. As I am waiting forever for a train (and of course it is standing room only when it does arrive), I realize that although I pulled the trash bag out (with **** in it), I completely forgot to grab it to toss on my way out. So i will be going back to an apartment that literally smells like dog ****. ****ing A. On the train ride next to me is a social reject who happens to like britney spears. HE, yes HE, also happens to not like deordorant. But in a standing room only train, I get nothing more then to sit back and tolerate it.
Proceed to getting off the train, I walk past the fence area that surrounds the stairs, and snag my ****ing less than a month old khakis (that I am wearing). **** **** ****! Proceed to wait at least 20 minutes for a bus, that is of course standing room only, and here I am.
This cubs game tonight better make my day worth it.
), then gym, then hanging with the GF. Sadly, she has to babysit, so we're hanging out over there... but the kids are going to have to go to sleep sometime 
