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motivate out shape wife/gf

hugry4more

hugry4more

Active member
Any tips dudes. Me n my wife have been married about a year half n she has really change physicaly since we got married. Its not uz she is lazy she just is so busy with school n work n lost her motivation in the fitness depot . She wants to lose the weight but she is seriously addicted to carbs. How do you motivate with out being mean or making someone feel unattractive?
 
My wife and i gain weight at the same time so it's tuff for me to say anything, you might just reccomend you guys go out and do some activities together walk hike rent bikes something fun,
 
Try to tell her that you worry about her health. Say that working out will be in her best interest to Keep her healthy and avoid health problems a few years down the road and set her up for a good long life.
 
bigintensions said:
Try to tell her that you worry about her health. Say that working out will be in her best interest to Keep her healthy and avoid health problems a few years down the road and set her up for a good long life.
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Absolutely!

Focus on the health aspects, rather than just weight loss.

When you say carbs, I hope it's not crap like HFCS or soda...
 
bigintensions said:
Try to tell her that you worry about her health. Say that working out will be in her best interest to Keep her healthy and avoid health problems a few years down the road and set her up for a good long life.
Click to expand...

This and offer to help in any way that you can to help deload some of her stress and free up time. i.e. cooking dinners, cleaning the house etc.
 
Pick up an outdoor activity you can both do together. My wife and I cycle and run. My wife is actually a much stronger cyclist than I am, and I’m a stronger runner than her, so we compete with each other. Most every city has organized bike rides and you can find 5k, 10k, half marathons and up just about anywhere.

I think cycling is a great starting point, but road bikes are not cheap…if you choose to do this, you really have to commit, because it’s not a cheap sport. I find our bicycles are similar to my motorcycle, every damn thing you buy for them is at least a “hundred dollar”.

Anyhow, sometimes committing hard earned money to something is what it takes to be motivated about it.
 
Sub'd for more ideas. So far I've tried everything in this thread with no luck!! I'm not so much worried about her gaining a little weight as I am the health benefits. My girl is way over stressed and when she used to workout she was way more healthy, in a mental aspect....
 
My better half is a way into healthy eating and avoiding exposure to bad stuff around us etc. But, while she understands the need for physical activity, she won't do squat about it. She says she wants to do it, but so far nothing's changed and it's been almost 20 yrs.
I just gave up and stop bugging her about it. Not to be a naysayer but you really can't motivate someone into long term fitness lifestyle. :( IMHO
Good luck.
 
StakedCop said:
Sub'd for more ideas. So far I've tried everything in this thread with no luck!! I'm not so much worried about her gaining a little weight as I am the health benefits. My girl is way over stressed and when she used to workout she was way more healthy, in a mental aspect....
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I feel ya on this bud.
 
n87 said:
My better half is a way into healthy eating and avoiding exposure to bad stuff around us etc. But, while she understands the need for physical activity, she won't do squat about it. She says she wants to do it, but so far nothing's changed and it's been almost 20 yrs.
I just gave up and stop bugging her about it. Not to be a naysayer but you really can't motivate someone into long term fitness lifestyle. :( IMHO
Good luck.
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Yea I have got kinda to this point. I mean obviously it hasn't been that long but I've come to realize you can't make some one want to do something. As far as doing an activity together I'm really supposed to limit my cardio right now :(. Not really sure what to do. I have offered to train her of course she never seemed into...I guess freeing up more time round house is best bet for now . We'll see what happens.
 
say that you both have packed on a few LBS....say your worse off that her but you both need work. If you put yourself down as the one who really needs it the focus wont be on her.

Try to adjust what she eats if you can...When you cook make lots of healthy meats and very little carbs. Its hard not eat hot food put in front of you when your hunrgy. So i bet she ll eat it and not complain. this way you can get some of the carbs out of her diet without her really realizing what happened.

Also make sure shes taking multi vit, fish oil, green tea ECGC.

when she comes home from work ask what she had for lunch, you wana track her meals the best you can.
 
What ever you do I wouldn't say anything. My wife and I got year gym memberships together about 9 months ago and she only went twice so far. I go eod. I have been married for 2 yrs and if I said anything, I would be in the dog house for quite some time. There is no way of saying it that won't make her mad. This is just the way I think.
 
gymrat827 said:
say that you both have packed on a few LBS....say your worse off that her but you both need work. If you put yourself down as the one who really needs it the focus wont be on her.

Try to adjust what she eats if you can...When you cook make lots of healthy meats and very little carbs. Its hard not eat hot food put in front of you when your hunrgy. So i bet she ll eat it and not complain. this way you can get some of the carbs out of her diet without her really realizing what happened.

Also make sure shes taking multi vit, fish oil, green tea ECGC.

when she comes home from work ask what she had for lunch, you wana track her meals the best you can.
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I like this a lot. This is the best post so far. Good stuff bro.
 
StakedCop said:
Sub'd for more ideas. So far I've tried everything in this thread with no luck!! I'm not so much worried about her gaining a little weight as I am the health benefits. My girl is way over stressed and when she used to workout she was way more healthy, in a mental aspect....
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Yea i know. My wife keeps talking about how she needs to diet. And before this she wouldn't worry about it, be happier, and be more healthy.
 
This is a tough one. If she's not self motivated she will need someone to workout with. Most likely she does not want other people looking at her either so the gym can be a tough place to get her to go but classes on the other hand can be a good thing. She'll just need a buddy or 2 to go with. Talk to her female friends and find out if any of them do classes at a near by gym and try to get them to motivate her. You can also tell her you would do classes with her. You can try to design some sort of routine that you both can do together that isn't too manly.

I got my wife in the gym by talking to her friends. Now there's a group of friends doing classes. Just going out for 30min walks together is a good start too. Otherwise we train resistance at home so she feels comfortable.

This is her schedule that I put her on. zumba class on mondays, spinning class on wednesdays and a full-body resistance workout at home on fridays.
 
Yea. My wife hit the gym like once or twice with other female friends. Granted when i hit the gym it's like war has begun so working out with me is kinda nuts. Especially here in japan lol.
 
You guys should be able to communicate. If you cannot discuss something like that, how will you discuss bigger things in the future. Tell her she is nit eating healthy and she should start watching what she is eating. Say it in a loving way, and discuss it with her. I'm sure she knows it. Women notice weight gain more than guys.
 
fadi said:
You guys should be able to communicate. If you cannot discuss something like that, how will you discuss bigger things in the future. Tell her she is nit eating healthy and she should start watching what she is eating. Say it in a loving way, and discuss it with her. I'm sure she knows it. Women notice weight gain more than guys.
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More easily said then done. First if all it all depends on the person and what you said is right. But that not really what my kinda delima is about. We talk bout it all the time is getting her any anyone for that matter to actually do something about how to motivate with out coming off as a dbag. Overall I would sat there was lots good advice in this thread. Thumbs up guys
 
Have you considered preparing your meals together? Then you can influence the carb intake that she struggles with by choosing low gi carbs, while having fun doing something together which will make you both feel good, hopefully causing her to feel better about herself and taking an interest in her body. Us girls are very emotionally driven!
 
Take over the cooking duties. But make sure everything you make is disgusting. With any luck, she wont be able to finish her plate. Doing this long enough will make her lose weight.
Lol
 
FL3X MAGNUM said:
Take over the cooking duties. But make sure everything you make is disgusting. With any luck, she wont be able to finish her plate. Doing this long enough will make her lose weight.
Lol
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Or divorce you
 
n87 said:
My better half is a way into healthy eating and avoiding exposure to bad stuff around us etc. But, while she understands the need for physical activity, she won't do squat about it. She says she wants to do it, but so far nothing's changed and it's been almost 20 yrs.
I just gave up and stop bugging her about it. Not to be a naysayer but you really can't motivate someone into long term fitness lifestyle. :( IMHO
Good luck.
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get another gurls interest, and she'll be motivated, or start getting fat and lazy yourself, and see if she dont start complaining.
 
I dont think you can motivate someone to get into the gym every day, that's something they have to want to do on their own. You are going to have to make her want to go to the gym everyday. How do you do that? I know this sounds crazy, but if you act like you dont want her to go to the gym, she probably will want to on her own. Women think totally differently than men. She will start to wonder why you go every day and eat healthy, and why she doesn't need to. Why would you need to look good, and she not need to look good. All of a sudden, the attention isn't on her when you go somewhere, it's on you. The second she realizes this, she will probably do something about it. Typically you will see prettier women with uglier guys. Ever wondered how in the world that ugly fat guy is with that hot chick? They like to feel like they have their man on lock down, almost as if there was no way in the world their man would ever cheat on them, because they could never do any better. How many guys with six pack abs have you seen with an overweight ugly woman? It doesn't happen very often because guys will typically upgrade. Now you are married, so it doesn't work exactly like that because you love your wife for who she is, not what she looks like, but a little mind game could possibly go a long way for motivation. You have to think emotionally with women. Rationality is like rocket science to a women, they almost never understand it, and even if they do, their first thought is "we don't need rockets anyway"
 
lyfespan said:
get another gurls interest, and she'll be motivated, or start getting fat and lazy yourself, and see if she dont start complaining.
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I have seen great guys try the get fat approach. Their wife basically thinks "wow, he's gaining some weight, I don't feel so bad now" and she gets even more comfortable and out of shape lol. Lose/lose situation!
The other thing is, if you're in shape, you are already getting attention from other girls. You won't even realize, but your girl will, she will be looking around the room to make sure nobody is looking at her man. She sees things we men will never see.
 
FL3X MAGNUM said:
I have seen great guys try the get fat approach. Their wife basically thinks "wow, he's gaining some weight, I don't feel so bad now" and she gets even more comfortable and out of shape lol. Lose/lose situation!
The other thing is, if you're in shape, you are already getting attention from other girls. You won't even realize, but your girl will, she will be looking around the room to make sure nobody is looking at her man. She sees things we men will never see.
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Dang nutra better hurry with their sale. The andro hard is looking very good. Lol
 
Completely feel for you bud. It will be very hard to get her "motivated". Eventually she will villify you over your (call you shallow, etc.) concerns over this and you will become more frustrated and obsessive over it the worse it gets. I know because I've been there. It gets worse after babies and there is a whole unhealthy sisterhood of her friends ready to support her over the '******* husband'. There is a site that gives good advice. myfatspouse(dot com).
 
prld2gr8ns said:
This and offer to help in any way that you can to help deload some of her stress and free up time. i.e. cooking dinners, cleaning the house etc.
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ah yes a little compromise.
 
It's crazy how many of us have this same problem. I agree it's not an easy situation to deal with. You don't want to hurt her feelings or piss her off, but it's something that needs to be dealt with. IMO the best things you can do;
1. Take over the cooking duties in your house, you can't control her lunch or snacks, but you can make sure your family is eating a nutritious meal every night.
2. Get some easy to use cardio equipment for your home. A couple of free weights, maybe a jump rope, if you have the cash and space a treadmill or a stair climber.
3. My wife and I are both competitive with each other, I try and challenge her to things that will increase her cardio. "Race you to the front door" "I can jump rope for 20 min without messing up once" ECT... also get a WII or MOVE or Kinect,, it's amazing how much standing and moving around playing those games, can wear you out, make you sweat and increase your cardio.
4. Lastly SEX increase your sexy, make her get on top and do the work, try every different position you can think of, make her stretch in ways she wouldn't normally, as well increase her cardio. This is a win win! More sex!, plus it burns a ton of calories.

All of those things I can do on my own to try and help out my wife. In the end it's not always enough and we have to have that tip toe "talk."

Oh and lastly the new year is comming up, there is never a better time to politely suggest she make a new years resolution to start working out more, living healthier, and eating a better diet. All of this is just my humble opinion but I hope it helps.
 
Make it about the both of you. Such as, "I want to get healthier and I'd like it if you were on board too." Even if you are already the epiphany of health it'll make her feel less self-conscious and on the spot.
This might actually be easier if you are married because then you can pull the, "I want us to be good health role models for our children in the future."
Go grocery shopping with your lady and try to control the choices. Also as others have said cook, or even better cook together and try to make it fun.
Try to make a fun workout for the two of you. If there is an exercise she doesn't like try your best to make it more enjoyable for her, or if she is motivated by progression then that could be even easier and keep her focused on increasing her squat.
Women use less of their muscle fibers and recover faster, so if you opt to just train her instead of with her you could easily have her focus on lower body and work it every other day, but work up to that.
Try to make the healthy stuff as fun as you can because then it will be good as a de-stressor which will help decrease overall cortisol levels and make her want to do the healthy stuff.
 
Let her catch you looking at women who look like her in every way (eyes, hair, skin type, etc.), but that are just in better condition.

But in all seriousness, there has been some great advice already. I've been single for years, so I can't offer any personal insight, but finding more things to do together that are physical (heck, up the sex and make her work hard at it lol), do healthier dinner dates and quick lunches if schedules permit, etc. You certainly don't want to come right out and say it, because even if she's real cool; no girl will stand for that even if they act like it's fine.

Good luck to all of you.
 
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