Dating

DmitryWI

DmitryWI

I know nothing...
My relationship ended about 2 months ago (x-mas eve:sick:) but now I'm ready to start dating again. It's been so long I don't even know where to start. Please tell me your stories how you've met your GF or wife, where did you meet, how you started conversation, etc.
 
Believe it or not,.. I met my fiance on the net,.. a dating site. Being in recovery, I had a hard time meeting quality people(I used to just pick up chicks at the bar!)., so I gave it a shot. It payed off for me,.. I've met a beautiful woman, who loves me, flaws and all!!!
 
Are you trying to get into another long term relationship or are you going to date around for a while?

Where are you going to be looking for ladies to meet? I mainly go to night venues like clubs and bars so that's all I can give you advice on, but here's a few general pointers:

Have good, dominant eye contact. You lock eyes with a girl, keep the friendly eye contact until she looks away... NEVER look down, you'll come off as weak. Don't be afraid to approach after getting good eye contact with a girl... they're practically INVITING you to approach. If you're used to looking in a woman's eyes, you'll know if it's inviting eye contact or not... it's hard to explain but you can FEEL it man.

Have good body language. Don't slouch, stand up straight. Slow movements, don't be a spazz. Dress well, but in a way that matches the venue you're in... though this is a guideline rather than an absolute rule. Don't walk around with a sad or angry face. Smile! You're in a fun environment, you should be putting off positive vibes not negative.

Don't be super and nongenuinely overly nice, you come off needy or creepy. Assume rapport from the get-go. If you're talking to a girl, talk to her as if you've known her for a while... not as if you're complete stranger (even though you are). Let a genuinely friendly, fun loving personality shine through. Be genuine. If you're being overly nice... that's NOT genuine. Neither is being a straight up a-hole/jerk because you've heard that that's the type of guy girls go for. This isn't true. They are attracted by their CONFIDENCE, but not by their a-hole tendencies.

From here on, it's all about escalation...

This was all just stream of consciousness advice off the top of my head... hope this helps!
 
buuzer0 said:
Are you trying to get into another long term relationship or are you going to date around for a while?
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I would like to have a serious relationship. I don't think clubs and bars are the best option here, but you never know...
I'm not looking for advise here, more for a real life stories.
 
bonscott said:
Believe it or not,.. I met my fiance on the net,.. a dating site. Being in recovery, I had a hard time meeting quality people(I used to just pick up chicks at the bar!)., so I gave it a shot. It payed off for me,.. I've met a beautiful woman, who loves me, flaws and all!!!
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Cool, man, good for you. I've never done online dating and I'm not sure if I want to do it right now, but it's definitely an option...
 
bonscott said:
Believe it or not,.. I met my fiance on the net,.. a dating site. Being in recovery, I had a hard time meeting quality people(I used to just pick up chicks at the bar!)., so I gave it a shot. It payed off for me,.. I've met a beautiful woman, who loves me, flaws and all!!!
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Pretty lucky... I looked at a couple of those sites once and every girl nearby who was single, childless, and not bisexual or suicidal weighed more than me!

BTW "Bisexual" usually means "Daddy didn't love me so I need ATTENTION! LOTS OF IT!!" At least on the internet it does, I'm not looking to get into a debate over sexuality here.
 
There is no doubt,.. I am fortunate. As she is beautiful,.. and I weigh more than her!!!
 
While going through divorce and being married for 12 years, I decided to not look for anything serious and date around. Once that was behind me I decided to not sacrifice what I wanted in someone... That being said, I met several really close "good ones" from various places. A couple through friends, two through my gym. The woman I am with now and plan on being with was met through a friend who actually liked her but was trying to use an excuse of setting her up to both, spend time with her and to try and show he was a better guy.

My opinion on meeting new women is to first look at what it is you're looking for and go from there. Once you're true to yourself on that level you'll be able to better decide on where you'll find these women. You can meet them downtown or even at bars because people like to have a good time and dance and have a few drinks. If you're looking to get laid on the first night from any women you're more than likely not looking for girlfriend material(although there are exceptions)
 
Good advice all around. I'm in the same boat Dmitry, happened to me just before Thanksgiving. I am from Arizona, but there are some odd, odd women here in the Rose City though.

I met my ex at a bar. Granted we went to High School together, but we didn't know each other back then. She thought she could do more tequila shots than me. Now I normally don't drink, but I was up for the challenge.

Point is, you can meet a nice girl at a bar. Everyone goes there to unwind and have fun, and most people there are single.
 
Lacradocious said:
I am from Arizona, but there are some odd, odd women here in the Rose City though.
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LOL I hear ya...

I've met few wonderful girls in the bars before. But I'm not holding my breath when I go out these days... Seems like a younger and wilder crowd everywhere I go. Oh, God, I'm old...
 
i don't know man... the majority of girls i hooked up with are the slutty / promiscuous type. I seem to attract only that particular profile of women (lol, not that i'm complaining). There was only one girl who was suitable for a long term (whom i was in relationship for 2 years) but then we broke up because of incompatibility. We met at college.
 
online dating is an interesting animal all together. I have been using it since the early part of my divorce process. There are a lot of women out there, however we all come with a great deal of baggage, just got to find the matching set!
 
bonscott said:
Believe it or not,.. I met my fiance on the net,.. a dating site. Being in recovery, I had a hard time meeting quality people(I used to just pick up chicks at the bar!)., so I gave it a shot. It payed off for me,.. I've met a beautiful woman, who loves me, flaws and all!!!
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that is so weird, i met my GF in a meeting. i did not go there for that, and i generally do NOT fish from the sick pond, but her and i were actually working the steps.....not just talking about them. 1-1/2 years later......still together, still happy.
 
I did the online dating thing too. thats how i met my last 2 girlfriends.
Best invention for the single man since the fleshlight
 
Reaper329 said:
online dating is an interesting animal all together. I have been using it since the early part of my divorce process. There are a lot of women out there, however we all come with a great deal of baggage, just got to find the matching set!
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This is very true. But I must say, I believe women are in the same boat as us men: "where to meet the right person" so they hop on there.

don't expect to meet someone right away, it took me almost a year before i met the right girl. i did go on some interesting dates though, and it's fun
 
One last piece of advice: just have fun!

When I did meet my current GF her description on this particular dating site warranted for me to run away ... far far away. But I liked her picture and once I got to talking to her we really hit it off
 
I haven't had much success with online dating, but the one success I had was incredible. I used plentyoffish (it's free!) and met this really cool girl who I've been seeing for about 6 months now...

I also met one girl through Myspace who I later met in real life and hit it off with.

My biggest problem with online dating is sometimes it seems very time wasting, especially when done at night because you could be out meeting women live and in person where things progress much faster and you don't sit there writing some long first message to someone who may not write you back anyway because you simply aren't their type. My advice is use it as an addition to your normal ways of meeting women, not as your one and only outlet.
 
buuzer0 said:
I haven't had much success with online dating, but the one success I had was incredible. I used plentyoffish (it's free!) and met this really cool girl who I've been seeing for about 6 months now...

I also met one girl through Myspace who I later met in real life and hit it off with.

My biggest problem with online dating is sometimes it seems very time wasting, especially when done at night because you could be out meeting women live and in person where things progress much faster and you don't sit there writing some long first message to someone who may not write you back anyway because you simply aren't their type. My advice is use it as an addition to your normal ways of meeting women, not as your one and only outlet.
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I met my chickadee from plenty of fish too. cant beat free connects
 
Best relationship I had I just walked up and said hi and a coffee shop (was meeting another girl, she flaked lol). Not much to say, except I had never dated someone before where we could just talk for 4 or 5 hours and actually say I had fun.

The second one I just asked to dance randomly at a party. Dated her for near 3 years.

There were a few odd meetings through myspace before it really blew up and there were only 20-30 people in my area.

Oh, BTW, read this:
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I figured it was appropriate.
 
DmitryWI said:
My relationship ended about 2 months ago (x-mas eve:sick:) but now I'm ready to start dating again. It's been so long I don't even know where to start. Please tell me your stories how you've met your GF or wife, where did you meet, how you started conversation, etc.
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wow deja vu, christmas eve and all! just another reason to hate the holidays. don't get in a serious relationship especially after only two months from the last.
 
Reaper329 said:
never heard of plenty of fish, very interesting
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a good buddy of mine uses this site.....its name makes you think of something else tho....lol....he says their are a lot of women on there who arent crazy....but i dont believe him....finding a woman thats not at least a little crazy is like finding a troll that trains unicorns to jump through flaming hoops....not gonna happen......
 
Tried POF myself, sorry if it's free expect alot of weirdo's......i also find alot of guys very insecure about my independence, my dedication to the gym...it used to piss me off, now it makes me laugh like hell.......LOL
 
Go to match.com. Several of my friends use it and have had much success. It costs less that a few beers at the bar and it is easier to initiate a conversation over email than in person.

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Grocery stores.

You can tell a lot about someone by what's in their cart. Steer clear of tiny women with multiple boxes of magnum condoms and jugs of lubricant.
 
pof seemed good. I met a girl up there, and she seemed ok till a month into it and she told me she was wiccan.......and then i found a tattoo of a zombie with blood dripping from it on her upper hip and some weird pentagram down there too.......hell with that.
 
maurice02 said:
pof seemed good. I met a girl up there, and she seemed ok till a month into it and she told me she was wiccan.......and then i found a tattoo of a zombie with blood dripping from it on her upper hip and some weird pentagram down there too.......hell with that.
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Says the man with a serial killer as his avi. :lol:
 
I used to have a sign that read "Will date for food" worked everytime. Nah, Jk. I actually met my lady on the net as well, been four yrs now. I would suggest not looking, it will happen when it is supposed to. Just take one day at a time, you would be surprised what you find when you are not looking. But, if you must look, there is church (not that you are there for that), grocery, female prison (hey cons needs love too). God will send you someone when he is ready.
 
Supermarket.

I worked at the supermarkey across from my high school for 8 years until just this past summer. Anyway, January 2008 i came back to work at the supermarket after being off about 3 months from a broken leg. This was my part time job so i literally just didnt go until they threatened to fire me.

So my first day back, im on the register checking groceries and this tall blonde walked in and started working next to me. I just told my normal jokes to her and to my customers. I guess 8 years of working at the same place gets you very self confident. 2 Sunday's later i asked for her number, first date was on Valentine's Day. I told her "no girl should be alone on Valentine's Day."

It's been just over a year and she should be moving in Mid-March
 
i recommend the supermarket, but as a shopper. it's very easy to peer into an attractive woamn's shopping cart and see what she is all about based on her purchases. The same can be said for you.

I also like the laundromat for scoring numbers. If you are a regular customer of the laundromat, get yourself on a 6 OR 8 day routine. That way every day time you wash, you show up a different day of the week. If you see a hot chick on Monday, switch to a 7 day routine until u get the balls to ask her out. If it works out, great, if not, show up on Tuesday and the cycle continues. I'm all about efficiency.
 
The current chick I'm with I met at Kinko's. She could tell that I was having difficulties with technology so she went over to help me and the rest is history. We've been together for 5 months, which is really long by my standards LOL.
 
toughchick401 said:
So how is it going for you??? If I had a good pick up spots for you I would def share, but you know my luck with dating, is well.....BAD :( So I dont date anymore.................

Heid
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There's not much to tell, been pretty busy with other stuff.
We went to two concerts in the last couple of weeks, one of my friends introduced me to one Russian girl, we talked for about 20 minutes, had a good time, but then I found out she's seeing someone. Later another girl I was dancing and flirting with gave me her number, but she's only 21, and for some of you it might sound crazy, but I don't want to deal with young and immature girls. I've had enough of all those stupid games.

P.S. My ex gf keeps texting me all this week, feels like she wants me to ask her out or just get together. I still have feelings for her and want to see her, but I'm trying really hard not to do it. It drives me nuts.:rant:
 
DmitryWI said:
There's not much to tell, been pretty busy with other stuff.
We went to two concerts in the last couple of weeks, one of my friends introduced me to one Russian girl, we talked for about 20 minutes, had a good time, but then I found out she's seeing someone. Later another girl I was dancing and flirting with gave me her number, but she's only 21, and for some of you it might sound crazy, but I don't want to deal with young and immature girls. I've had enough of all those stupid games.

P.S. My ex gf keeps texting me all this week, feels like she wants me to ask her out or just get together. I still have feelings for her and want to see her, but I'm trying really hard not to do it. It drives me nuts.:rant:
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Ex;s are bad news... stay far away, feelings or not let some more time pass, even than be careful.....I attempted to stay friends with my ex and after the meanest insult from him, I am done, no one speaks to someone they hate that way, never mind someone you love so much!!!!! See this very reason why single , solo is my motto :)

H
 
yeah dont pick up chicks in bars or clubs. im a doorman at a very well known bar and slutty girls come in there all the time. some try to stay after and the bouncers usually take them home, or bang them in their cars or bathroom at the end of the night. its good to get ur pipes cleaned but thats all. have even banged a couple of the cocktail waitresses lol...but seriously the net is great my uncle just got married to a woman he met online like 6 months ago. also, it sounds gay, but, the grocery store, the gym (but do not try to be all macho just be polite and start off with something easy like "it's crowded in here today" and build from that), bed bath and beyond believe it or not lol, even the mall is a good place. best of luck
 
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