I think that I have finally understand

Rodja

Rodja

Board Sponsor
Everytime I have a break-up, I am always distraught because I still harbor feelings for the ex. However, I think that I have finally made peace with myself, ironically in a drunken moment. Just because I am not with them does not mean that I have to stop loving them. I don't know why it took me so long to reach this point, but now that I have, I feel so much better both emotionally and physically. Since I have reached this point (last Tuesday), my training has been so much better and productive. For the first time in a while, the love of lifting is back and I am so glad.
:bb3:
 
It all comes down to making peace with ones self and being able to live comfortably with that choice. I'm glad you were able to do this although I don't think figuring out one's problems drunk is too healthy :)
 
Jayhawkk said:
It all comes down to making peace with ones self and being able to live comfortably with that choice. I'm glad you were able to do this although I don't think figuring out one's problems drunk is too healthy :)
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I just happened to be a little inebriated. Hey, I am still in college, it's the summer, and it was $2 you call it. I didn't get in a fight and I had a DD, so I was a responsible drinker that night.
 
I am currently in the midst of a breakup, its the point were it could go either way. Its hard to see myself without her but its also nice to focus on number 1 when your single. Do you find your motivations lessen or increase when your single? I used to be motivated by constant potential tang as opposed to tang in the bag.
 
somewhatgifted said:
I am currently in the midst of a breakup, its the point were it could go either way. Its hard to see myself without her but its also nice to focus on number 1 when your single. Do you find your motivations lessen or increase when your single? I used to be motivated by constant potential tang as opposed to tang in the bag.
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It varies for me. Right now, I am extremely motivated because I want to get into ridiculous shape for my B-Day, but usually the first thing that suffers is my diet and training.
 
Rodja said:
It varies for me. Right now, I am extremely motivated because I want to get into ridiculous shape for my B-Day, but usually the first thing that suffers is my diet and training.
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Aint that the truth bro. Diet and training always suffer for me too and i hate it! When i get involved that is.
 
3clipseGT said:
Aint that the truth bro. Diet and training always suffer for me too and i hate it! When i get involved that is.
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Couple of years back, I lost over 20 lbs in 8 weeks from eating 2-3 times a day and not lifting. It was a long road back and I don't want to ever go back to that place.
 
Rodja said:
Couple of years back, I lost over 20 lbs in 8 weeks from eating 2-3 times a day and not lifting. It was a long road back and I don't want to ever go back to that place.
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Dude thats me, except i added in cardio for the first time.
I have bad feet/ankles so im more ninja like with less weight to carry around. Went from 226 march last year to a svelte 200 now, dayum i felt huge tho!! lol.
 
somewhatgifted said:
Dude thats me, except i added in cardio for the first time.
I have bad feet/ankles so im more ninja like with less weight to carry around. Went from 226 march last year to a svelte 200 now, dayum i felt huge tho!! lol.
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That was back in my 200 lb days. Ironically, I am much happier now that I am around 180, but I do have much different goals now. MMA has helped me out immensely in this area.
 
somewhatgifted said:
I am currently in the midst of a breakup, its the point were it could go either way. Its hard to see myself without her but its also nice to focus on number 1 when your single. Do you find your motivations lessen or increase when your single? I used to be motivated by constant potential tang as opposed to tang in the bag.
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A different perspective, focus on you...being newly single myself, I find I am making more plans, decsions, for me..and althought i did just have knee surgery.....yes again..LOL I am doing ok in that area as well..............

Think on the positive, that' s you..:) and you will find the motivation..................
 
Jayhawkk said:
It all comes down to making peace with ones self and being able to live comfortably with that choice. I'm glad you were able to do this although I don't think figuring out one's problems drunk is too healthy :)
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Liquor lubricates the brain. I've had many an epiphany while drunk or stoned. But then again I also invented the fork a few centuries too late while stoned. That pissed me off.

The answer, Rodja, is deal. Do what you have to. You might need to love her now, and in a year you might not give a **** if she drove off a cliff and blamed you. I've got ex's I wouldn't want to live without who are great friends now, and I've got some that I'd seriously consider strangling and burying in a shallow grave.

As per workouts, take the most intense emotion at any given time, whatever it is, and channel it. Love, hate, frustration, horniness, whatever it is, you can grab hold of it and shunt it into your workout. Horniness is the most fun I have to say, especially if you're with a girl and she's around when your done. I got a friend who I'm interested in, she wants me to join a gym with her. Can't wait to see her get all sweaty.

But, she's into the Planet Fitness type of gym. I'd rather sit in lemon juice and saw my balls off than set foot in there. We're still looking for a compromise.
 
toughchick401 said:
A different perspective, focus on you...being newly single myself, I find I am making more plans, decsions, for me..and althought i did just have knee surgery.....yes again..LOL I am doing ok in that area as well..............

Think on the positive, that' s you..:) and you will find the motivation..................
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In a perfect world i would have a dream and chase it, in a relationship you have to find a compromise to make both parties happy, maybe im too young to settle down and should focus on personal success? thoughts? when your single you want a partner, now i have a partner (maybe) and after two years ive slowly eroded instead of growing. does this happen to others? do you slowly wane from your path? how do both people move forward wihtout sacrificing eachothers happiness?
 
somewhatgifted said:
does this happen to others? do you slowly wane from your path? how do both people move forward wihtout sacrificing eachothers happiness?
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Its a glass half full and half empty thing. My first wife and I met in college, dated for 2 years, lived together for 2 and were married less than 2 before a divorce. My wife and I (I dont think of her as second or current) met in may, started dating in june, engaged in july, married in august, pregnant in september (1995), and we're still married. I think it takes the zen approach of realizing that you have to take turns.

If you only look at what you didn't get to do, you'll be disappointed. if instead you look at the things you did get to do that you wouldnt have gotten to do without that person, then you'll be happy. Using an easier example, look at all those hours every week a job or school wastes for you. Think of all the things you could do with that time, if only it wasn't for that. But the benefit is that you don't have to live in a homeless shelter, or eat from a soup kitchen.

Plus too, you do learn things in a relationship. Because people are different and have different likes you'll be exposed to new things during a relationship. Some of them you'll like, some you won't. But if you never tried them at all, you'd never know they existed.
 
somewhatgifted said:
In a perfect world i would have a dream and chase it, in a relationship you have to find a compromise to make both parties happy, maybe im too young to settle down and should focus on personal success? thoughts? when your single you want a partner, now i have a partner (maybe) and after two years ive slowly eroded instead of growing. does this happen to others? do you slowly wane from your path? how do both people move forward wihtout sacrificing eachothers happiness?
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I dont think your to young, you just have to realize that you have other needs/goals and perhaps dating is something to be done but concentrate on other areas as well...Your right you need to comprimise but even that dosent help sometimes.......I fell into the same trap, no matter age, its a thing called love..........LOL
But in all this I am going back to school again, (Have my masters already)..but now i think getting another degree will help...and it keeps me busy so I cant think..(not the best all but it helps)..............
I hope your in a better place emotionally.............

((HUGZ)))

TC
 
Rodja said:
Everytime I have a break-up, I am always distraught because I still harbor feelings for the ex. However, I think that I have finally made peace with myself, ironically in a drunken moment. Just because I am not with them does not mean that I have to stop loving them. I don't know why it took me so long to reach this point, but now that I have, I feel so much better both emotionally and physically. Since I have reached this point (last Tuesday), my training has been so much better and productive. For the first time in a while, the love of lifting is back and I am so glad.
:bb3:
Click to expand...

bro no offence but that bit about not stopping loving them soundz like something out of dawsons creek. everybody goes through heart break at some point but the show must go on. the best thing to do is try to forget the ex and move on, get thoughts of still loving her out of your head and focass on the positive things in your life. all will become clear in time, good luck rodja:thumbsup:
 
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