Drinking socially

Hyperion

Hyperion

Member
So my question is this: should I start to drink more when out with new people?

I hardly ever drink, not because I'm training, or have any health or religious objection to alcohol, I just genuinely DON'T like the taste.

Tonight though I realised at what a disadvantage it puts me in when trying to meet new girls in the UK (Glasgow in this case).

As most fellow Brits can attest to, drinking when going out and meeting/socialising with people is pretty much a universal code of conduct. Anyone not drinking is the odd one out. Enter me.

I went out last night for a mate's birthday, and while trying to chat up a really hot girl who I started talking to in a bar, my mate's gf said to me later on, somewhat along these lines:

"You're WAY too sober. You look so serious, even when you make a joke and are being friendly. Girls are intimidated by that. You need to get a little tipsy, so you don't always sound so smart and well spoken. Let your guard down, you look like you're afraid of getting drunk and letting others have a laugh at you."

I have to agree with her. While I was at university this wasn't that big an issue. The "dating pool" was so large and diverse (social, cultural, ethnic groups etc) that at one time or another during the year, you'd find some crowd that shared your personality traits.

But now that I'm not at Uni and don't have such a wide array of people to meet, I'm finding it exceedingly hard to date girls. 95% of the times I will meet Glaswegian girls that are very similar in nature, and fit in with British drinking culture.

Unfortunately, even though I shouldn't have any real tolerance to alcohol, I actually do have a rather good one. It takes something like 5 pints of Cider just to get me to slur my words, and drinking so much of a drink I barely tolerate is not my idea of a good night out.

I hate beer, so that's out of the question and spirits just make me throw up, but not drunk.

How do you suggest I manage to get myself tipsy just to not appear so "stiff" to people?

I realise that this drinking behavior is almost entirely contained to when people go out, the rest of the time/day they are probably just as sober as I am.

Anyway, just thought I throw this out there, see what people think.
 
you could work on your soical skills/lady skills.you don't have to be fall over drunk to have a good time just learn to speak their type of slang.doing something you don't like just to fit in shouldn't be something to consider really imo either like you for you or they don't.
 
Trust me, my social skills are great, it's just I'm used to a completely different set of social norms. University life is SO much more different than city life. Get me a really hot chick during the afternoon who's in the mood to talk about politics, science, philosophy etc, and and more often than not, I can have her totally engaged in what I'm saying and eager to see me again to continue.

But this isn't what most UK girls look for when they go out for a night on the town. And I'm not talking about falling over drunk and vomiting, I'm talking about being a little light-headed, the kind that makes you feel more relaxed, especially when you're the only one not drinking.

Perception is like 9/10 of your success rate when first meeting a girl. If you're the only one NOT having a drink and not a little tipsy you stand out FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS.

And this isn't me just guessing or making stuff up, my mate's gf, a born and bred Glaswegian girl, said as much. Maybe she's wrong, but so far from I've seen, a guy with a beer in his hand and two in his gut fits in a lot better than a sober diet-coke-drinking guy who looks like he just came out of the gym.

Like she said, it makes you APPEAR as though you're boring. People go out and drink to have fun. If you're appearance screams out "DISCIPLINE, RESTRAINT, HEALTH-NUT", you 're not going to get very far.

When you meet up with a person another day, during the afternoon for example, THAT'S when you be yourself, because that's when SHE will be her true self, and not a tired worker who just wants to have 3-4 drinks, unwind, have a laugh and chat to a guy who looks like he enjoys the same things she does.
 
you could actually flip this in your favor by making the whole night about you going to the dark side aka drinking enough to get tipsy.they could suggest drinks and etc and make things alot of fun by playing the guessing and tasting game.
 
Possibly, but that would probably turn out really expensive and almost certainly lead to getting totally drunk, so I'd rather try this at a home party with close friends to make sure nothing bad happens afterwards.

For the time being until I become a little more acquainted with various drinks and their effects on me, I'd more interested in a drink that a) doesn't require ridiculous amounts to get me tipsy, and b) that doesn't have an adverse effect on my stomach.

Any suggestions? Keep in mind what I said about cider, beer and spirits (also, I doubt drinking wine in a club would help my image all that much either LOL).
 
Hyperion said:
Possibly, but that would probably turn out really expensive and almost certainly lead to getting totally drunk, so I'd rather try this at a home party with close friends to make sure nothing bad happens afterwards.

For the time being until I become a little more acquainted with various drinks and their effects on me, I'd more interested in a drink that a) doesn't require ridiculous amounts to get me tipsy, and b) that doesn't have an adverse effect on my stomach.

Any suggestions? Keep in mind what I said about cider, beer and spirits (also, I doubt drinking wine in a club would help my image all that much either LOL).
Click to expand...

thats the best way to do it at a home party where people can watch and take care of you just in case.

sex on the beach is a good one its a gurl drink but damn its good,jager bombs these are 2 easy drinks,jack and coke is another good one,theres alot more but I'm not much of drinker nowadays so I forget alot of them.
 
I think I'll be experimenting quite a bit this New Year Eve's party. :-D

Unfortunately, from what I've been told, sweet drinks with a high alcohol percentage are not only very expensive, but also very high in sugar content...
 
Hyperion said:
So my question is this: should I start to drink more when out with new people?

I hardly ever drink, not because I'm training, or have any health or religious objection to alcohol, I just genuinely DON'T like the taste.

Tonight though I realised at what a disadvantage it puts me in when trying to meet new girls in the UK (Glasgow in this case).

As most fellow Brits can attest to, drinking when going out and meeting/socialising with people is pretty much a universal code of conduct. Anyone not drinking is the odd one out. Enter me.

I went out last night for a mate's birthday, and while trying to chat up a really hot girl who I started talking to in a bar, my mate's gf said to me later on, somewhat along these lines:

"You're WAY too sober. You look so serious, even when you make a joke and are being friendly. Girls are intimidated by that. You need to get a little tipsy, so you don't always sound so smart and well spoken. Let your guard down, you look like you're afraid of getting drunk and letting others have a laugh at you."

I have to agree with her. While I was at university this wasn't that big an issue. The "dating pool" was so large and diverse (social, cultural, ethnic groups etc) that at one time or another during the year, you'd find some crowd that shared your personality traits.

But now that I'm not at Uni and don't have such a wide array of people to meet, I'm finding it exceedingly hard to date girls. 95% of the times I will meet Glaswegian girls that are very similar in nature, and fit in with British drinking culture.

Unfortunately, even though I shouldn't have any real tolerance to alcohol, I actually do have a rather good one. It takes something like 5 pints of Cider just to get me to slur my words, and drinking so much of a drink I barely tolerate is not my idea of a good night out.

I hate beer, so that's out of the question and spirits just make me throw up, but not drunk.

How do you suggest I manage to get myself tipsy just to not appear so "stiff" to people?

I realise that this drinking behavior is almost entirely contained to when people go out, the rest of the time/day they are probably just as sober as I am.

Anyway, just thought I throw this out there, see what people think.
Click to expand...

theres nothing wrong with not drinking alcohol .Your friend if a true friend should respect you for that . Not conforming can be hard but you dont have to follow like a herd of sheep. Apart from anything else what if you had driven to the pub , would your friend expect you to "get tipsy" -i hope not.

Incidentally hasnt Scotland got serious alcohol related health issues.
 
If you can get your hands on vicodin or percs, take a couple of them and you'll be as relaxed and chatty as you'll ever be. Atleast that's what it does to me. Grab a beer and sip on it so you have the appearence of drinking. I prefer it over drinking any day.
 
I didn't read the entire post, but I'll say this:

Be yourself.

What I mainly mean by it, is don't get sucked into drinking or anything else because it's what everyone else is doing or it "makes things easier" to meet girls, etc. If it's not your thing, don't do it.

I went through my phase of drinking when I was younger and I can honestly say I don't miss it. I may have one or two beers tomorrow night with my friends, but it's only if I really feel like having one. I love being the sober one around others (good blackmail material to have in your stash at the very least). As long as you're holding a glass of something, it's the same thing anyway.

I used to drink a ton of water or even Coke Zero in a koozy when I was out with my friends in grad school (the koozy wasn't really to hide it so much as it was a joke).

Just do what you wanna do, man.
 
You need to stop worrying about what others are thinking first off because that puts you on edge straight away if your worrying about how everyone else perceives you. To be honest I couldn't give 2 ****s what everyone else is doing, I've just gone a year of absolutely no alcohol and had some great nights, just takes a while to get used to how to react to certain things if your previously used to being trashed to have a night out... Scotland probably isn't gunna help though because all my uni mates from up there used to wreak havoc everywhere they went [in a good way] and it was always a good party but it usually ended up with everyone being completely trashed and the next day was always a write off which I soon grew tired of but each to their own!
 
Dude, she was drunk when she told you that, take it with a grain of salt and be your own man. Drink orange juice, no one will ever know.
 
I don't drive, so having a drink or not doesn't effect me.

I realise and agree with what you guys mean about being yourself, and how true friends accept you for who you are, but this isn't the issue.

My mates know I don't drink and we still go out every week, it's not like I get avoided by people.

I just think there's a difference between following the crowd and simply being a bit more diplomatic and perhaps even inquisitive about other people's culture and pass-time. It was never about wanting EVERYONE I meet on a night out to love me, more along the lines of I don't stick out like a sore thumb upon first sight or when saying so much as "hello".

About the vicodin and percocet (sp?), isn't that regulated prescription medication? I'm not going so far as to illegally buy drugs. That would be a tad bit extreme, don't you think?

I'd much rather break the law to get some illegal bulking supplements instead :-D
 
Yeah, they're illegal. But they float around from time to time. I'm not advocating extreme narcotic use, just thinking outside the box if you didn't want to drink much yet alter your state of being while still able to function and speak at ease.
 
So my question is this: should I start to drink more when out with new people

Your consumption should be based upon only as much as YOU want, Why in the hell would you drink more to satisfy other people ?

whats ironic is you go on to state you don't even like the taste - wtf ? you shouldn't be doing something you do not enjoy to make others happy or like you - find a group of social people more like yourself

cheers !
 
Man just be yourself. If you dont like drinking, dont drink! Tell that chic to F**k off lol. a decent girl will like a confident, non spitting in her face, slurring ass hole. Yea you can have a few to get a lil tipsy but so what. Sometimes that can work against ya coz you do have that little extra confidence boost so you end up saying something dumb!
(U kno the one, where you say something and give ya the 2 word (ha ha - slight smile) and they keep talking to there friends.... YEA! that one lmao)

In saying all that maybe it is just you man! maybe you do need to lighten up a bit. In the past If i was coming into competition i would still go out, and buy some red bulls or something along those lines and i managed to be the life of the party and have a good time still.

But be careful what you wish for with meeting girls! Now im married with 2 kids!!! UVE BEEN WARNED LOL!!!!!
 
Jagermeister
 
If you slip a roofie in their drink when they're not looking it doesn't matter how serious you come off haha...no but don't do that.

I've personally never had a problem getting girls when I'm sober. It's just a matter of self confidence and knowing what works and what doesn't, drawing from a bank of personal experience.
I've actually found that having a couple drinks doesn't make it any better for me, because then I feel like "the man" and my inflated ego gets me in trouble or the girls are just intimidated by it.

And think of this. The less you drink, the better your gains. The better your gains, the better you look. The better you look, the more attention you will get from whiney silly drunk girls in leggings and big stupid pink purses, ultimately resulting in getting laid more often. No?

I used to go out and be the sober guy and it was awkward but I looked at it like fishing, learning what works and what doesn't work and eventually it all just works out.

Good luck and hopefully you don't become an alcoholic >_<
 
One word - Buckfast :friday:

But seriously, if you don't want to drink then don't. I think the statement from your friend sums it up:

"You're WAY too sober. You look so serious, even when you make a joke and are being friendly. Girls are intimidated by that. You need to get a little tipsy, so you don't always sound so smart and well spoken. Let your guard down, you look like you're afraid of getting drunk and letting others have a laugh at you."

Especially the following part:

"You need to get a little tipsy, so you don't always sound so smart and well spoken."

This suggests that the 'women' are the stereotypical pint of Stella swilling, fight outside the kebab shop, throwing up in the gutter females that seem to inhabit town centres all over the UK every Friday and Saturday evening. Being from the UK I can attest to this phenomenon that seems to affect women, who from Sun - Thur are decent enough, but on Fri and Sat turn into some sort of species that you really do not want anything to do with.

How about trying to pick up women on other nights that Fri and Sat and not in the usual club/pub scene? What about joining a club i.e. book club type of thing or even a football/rugby club so you can meet other player's wives/girlfriends and they can introduce you to their female friends?

Does the gym have any aerobics, running, spinning, etc. classes? This is how I met two recent girlfriends of mine. I was new in town and joined a gym, which had spinning and aerobic classes. I'm not particularly into either but it was a chance to chat to/meet people who are interested in fitness and there is also a common thing to chat about. From there it's a cup of coffee, meal, etc. and there's no problem with being expected to drink any alcohol.
 
Don't drink, if you want to fine but not to meet someone, somewhere out there a girl will like you for you, anything else is not who you are.... I don't drink same as you hate the taste and I don't like the feeling of no control, I order water and I dont care,

TC
 
I have been dealing with my "demons" when it comes to drinking. Now I just usually avoid those situations. Personally being around drunk people when I am sober is a big pain in the ass most of the time. The kind of girls you would meet out in the day and the kind of girls you find out at night drunk are kind of different. Atleast the way you are describing the situations are a little different. Day girl you actually talk to and carry on a conversation. Night girl you can barely hear each other and she MIGHT be on trashy side.

Oh ya and starting a cycle so no drinking for sure now lol.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top