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Restoring Rosie: AN calls in the full cavalry (and a few extras)

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Day 24

0929 - 5.5km Run:
Wow, just wow. Another beautiful DAY, with sun, warmth, and fragrant jasmine filling the air. Another crappy RUN, averaging out at 5 min/km, yet again (sigh)...Started out ok, at 4.44 min/km. But slowed waaaaay back for the second at 5.85 min/km (WTF???). Settled at 5.01 min/km eventually. I was just surviving for this run, pretty much. Tasting blood from the 4km mark. Left medial knee hurting for the last 17 min. The run itself was ok; it was ROSIE that wasn't. I've honestly never felt like a worse piece of nothing than when it's been training runs over the last 12 weeks :(

1000 - Stretch 40 min.


Sleep - Time and Quality: ~2200-0750 (waking at 0139, 0315, 0330, 0423, 0500, 0600, 0630, and 0715), so ~9.75 hours sleep. Seriously, seriously SHOULD have managed to get up at 0330, 0500 at the very LATEST. However, the light hurt my eyes, and when I tried talking I don't think the words were actually coming out. So very fatigued. And it took me almost 45 min before I managed to get OUT of bed as it was...

Mental Alertness/Focus: Haven't really had any today. Haven't been to any classes all week. I've had a migraine since ~1300. Hanging out on the forums has given me some 'down' time to 'relax'...

Energy: Nope. I managed to survive my run without walking, so that was something. As for the rest of the day, complete exhaustion. Even fell asleep for 30 min at ~1445.

Motivation: There, but failing slightly...

Mood/Aggression: Some aggression. Mostly just a really tired Rosie...

Stress: So high that I can hear the warning bells and see the red warning light, and I'm turning both ears and eyes 'off'...

Libido: Seriously, if I wasn't CHOOSING NOT to have sex, then hell, there'd be a lot of frustration being released these days! Instead, trying to channel it into something ELSE! The tiger is seriously pacing behind the bars, just waiting until she can unleash the wildness...

Joints: Fine.

Endurance: There.

Strength: N/A.

Quality of Training: Shite :mad:

Pump and Vascularity: No pump...Vascularity ok...

Muscle Hardness/Density: There. Some.

Body Composition and Look: Breasts are back to their usual D, which is interesting. Lower body is looking a little bigger, and feeling far more uncomfortable than normal. Can't wait to get back to the size I'm happy with Rosie at...

Overall Sense of Feeling: Ok. After the appetite suppression of the last 3 weeks I've been wanting to eat everything in sight, especially salty and sugary foods (yes, just the things I should NOT be eating! Grrrr)...Life will be so much easier and less stressful when I finally get to see you and can happily throw myself into your arms...
 
I hope everyone here is focussing on the quality of Rosie's workout rather than the comments of her breasts!

D-cups AND a ripped mid-section IS impressive BTW.
 
This has been some of the most awesome reading/posting I'v read.
Stay Ball to the wall Rosie...you'll find what your looking for. I hope to read about when you do. There are elements in this that I see in myself and this I've done to recomp and not just recomp physically, but with self,mind, and soul. In my case I had lost my mind in Seattle and moved to Alaska to work on a dairy farm in the winter and live in a small log cabin. The only other time it happened was in Iraq during OIF 1 for 8 months. But that's all just me and my experience. If I missed something/way of base with this log I'll politely bow out and just observe. ;)
 
great log Rosie, I don't know how I've missed it for this long though!

I'm in and I'm almost caught up.
 
jakellpet said:
I hope everyone here is focussing on the quality of Rosie's workout rather than the comments of her breasts!

D-cups AND a ripped mid-section IS impressive BTW.
Click to expand...

So far I don't feel like quality is even a factor in my training sessions (except the gym, when I get there)...Grrrr...Um, yes, but they won't stay there for long, especially when I start getting as lean as I want to be!


CopyCat said:
This has been some of the most awesome reading/posting I'v read.
Stay Ball to the wall Rosie...you'll find what your looking for. I hope to read about when you do. There are elements in this that I see in myself and this I've done to recomp and not just recomp physically, but with self,mind, and soul. In my case I had lost my mind in Seattle and moved to Alaska to work on a dairy farm in the winter and live in a small log cabin. The only other time it happened was in Iraq during OIF 1 for 8 months. But that's all just me and my experience. If I missed something/way of base with this log I'll politely bow out and just observe. ;)
Click to expand...

Yes I sure WILL!!! Well, it's more me trying to get back up to Rosie standard and where I was able to train at before I had this damn ****ing perpetual fatigue! In a way it's almost a mind recomp as well, as Sean may say (even if I snap at him as he says it and agree later :D)...You can observe if you like. Feel free to chip in whenever it takes your fancy (just don't get offended if my strong opinions seem too cutting sometimes, though).


Force of Green said:
Rosie, why do we fall?
Click to expand...

Because we're human and would like to think that we're invincible, even if we're not. Because we refuse to accept that we have limitations, and therefore try to push all boundaries within and around us. Because we take on too much, and then have too much pride to admit that we need help and we try to stand alone. Because that's the nature of some people: to give all that they have and then find that they've given too much and have nothing left...


delsolrob said:
great log Rosie, I don't know how I've missed it for this long though!

I'm in and I'm almost caught up.
Click to expand...

All good. Hope you had SOME fun reading it (and not got TOO bored) :)
 
Day 25

DAY OFF (GRRRRRRRR...)


Sleep - Time and Quality: ~2300-0808 (waking at 0315, 0330, 0423, 0500, and 0630), so ~8.5-9 hours sleep. Waking to alarms was the same as it has been lately (12 weeks 'lately', and it's too damn ****ing LONG!) Anyways, I'd given permission to be picked up and dumped on the ground in an attempt to get me up and awake for the gym this morning. Ok, so got poked and prodded and pulled out of bed. Rosie fell asleep on the floor. Got dragged up and half carried through the house. Rosie fell asleep on her feet, first in the bedroom, and then in the kitchen. After almost falling over, after being left leaning against the pantry, I went into the lounge. Rosie fell asleep on the beanbag. Sometime later I woke and made my way back to bed. Yet, through most of this I was AWARE of the poking, prodding, pulling, and so forth. I think I even managed to say what I was trying to say, too. But it was like I was watching my body just do NOTHING. Rosie was inside wanting to be getting up and going training. And Rosie's body was just dead. When I woke up, it was to my sister's alarm in the next room. And even then, if I hadn't had to go to work, I would have gone back to sleep. Had the baddest migraine ever, too...

Mental Alertness/Focus: None, today. Even at work, was on autopilot. No desire to be doing any study or assignments, which is starting to become somewhat of a problem, since they NEED to be done...

Energy: None. Felt dead all day. Fatigued as ****. I DID walk on the treadmill at work for 20 min, though, talking to a member...

Motivation: Date set with a photographer that I'm going to enjoy working with (yes, lace and ice and swords and latex and more...)

Mood/Aggression: Some aggression. Mostly nothing. Some interesting moments, before being back to aggressive.

Stress: HIGH HIGH HIGH!!!

Libido: Um, check. Damnit, on days like this, with my aggression so high I am of two minds: I refuse to be easy and like the world, and it's hard to let go of the mindset of "no sex before marriage" that was DRUMMED into me growing up; and at the same time I think that when you find the right person for you, then it will just happen and will be beautiful and special, how it should be. So, AAARGGH (yes, that was why I turned '*****y' on you...)

Joints: Fine.

Endurance: N/A.

Strength: N/A.

Quality of Training: N/A.

Pump and Vascularity: No pump...Vascularity good, though...

Muscle Hardness/Density: Glutes feeling hard, don't know what the **** for!

Body Composition and Look: GRROOOWWL!

Overall Sense of Feeling: Like a piece of shite. No fun at all. I just want to eat and watch movies and blob. And then my head argues against it, because it's the last thing my body NEEDS right now. And now I'm just rambling and sounding like a female, so stopping...
 
Lookin good Rosie ;)
 
Guejsn said:
DAY OFF (GRRRRRRRR...)


Sleep - Time and Quality: ~2300-0808 (waking at 0315, 0330, 0423, 0500, and 0630), so ~8.5-9 hours sleep. Waking to alarms was the same as it has been lately (12 weeks 'lately', and it's too damn ****ing LONG!) Anyways, I'd given permission to be picked up and dumped on the ground in an attempt to get me up and awake for the gym this morning. Ok, so got poked and prodded and pulled out of bed. Rosie fell asleep on the floor. Got dragged up and half carried through the house. Rosie fell asleep on her feet, first in the bedroom, and then in the kitchen. After almost falling over, after being left leaning against the pantry, I went into the lounge. Rosie fell asleep on the beanbag. Sometime later I woke and made my way back to bed. Yet, through most of this I was AWARE of the poking, prodding, pulling, and so forth. I think I even managed to say what I was trying to say, too. But it was like I was watching my body just do NOTHING. Rosie was inside wanting to be getting up and going training. And Rosie's body was just dead. When I woke up, it was to my sister's alarm in the next room. And even then, if I hadn't had to go to work, I would have gone back to sleep. Had the baddest migraine ever, too...

Mental Alertness/Focus: None, today. Even at work, was on autopilot. No desire to be doing any study or assignments, which is starting to become somewhat of a problem, since they NEED to be done...

Energy: None. Felt dead all day. Fatigued as ****. I DID walk on the treadmill at work for 20 min, though, talking to a member...

Motivation: Date set with a photographer that I'm going to enjoy working with (yes, lace and ice and swords and latex and more...)

Mood/Aggression: Some aggression. Mostly nothing. Some interesting moments, before being back to aggressive.

Stress: HIGH HIGH HIGH!!!

Libido: Um, check. Damnit, on days like this, with my aggression so high I am of two minds: I refuse to be easy and like the world, and it's hard to let go of the mindset of "no sex before marriage" that was DRUMMED into me growing up; and at the same time I think that when you find the right person for you, then it will just happen and will be beautiful and special, how it should be. So, AAARGGH (yes, that was why I turned '*****y' on you...)

Joints: Fine.

Endurance: N/A.

Strength: N/A.

Quality of Training: N/A.

Pump and Vascularity: No pump...Vascularity good, though...

Muscle Hardness/Density: Glutes feeling hard, don't know what the **** for!

Body Composition and Look: GRROOOWWL!

Overall Sense of Feeling: Like a piece of shite. No fun at all. I just want to eat and watch movies and blob. And then my head argues against it, because it's the last thing my body NEEDS right now. And now I'm just rambling and sounding like a female, so stopping...
Click to expand...
Damn Rosie... Sorry to hear about your day. Then again, I'm not really sorry, because I'm sure there's always something positive that can come of it. Well, actually... yeah it sounds like a shotty day.
You remind me of how I felt my first 2.5-3 weeks of rehab. LOL! I was yelled at and had the sheets pulled off of me to get out of bed and go to the dining area for breakfast. I bypassed the eggs and whatnot and went for the pop tart packs. LOL. I'd sit through countless meetings and seminars just FIGHTING to stay awake and keep my heavy eye-lids from falling. I fell over in my chair several times. One time I fell backwards.
Libido situation... haha. that's nuts. I was with someone for 2 years that wanted to wait until marriage. We couldn't do ANYthing sexual and I was fine with it, but it wasn't working in the end (other reasons) and now she's engaged to someone else (5 years late). YAY.

Do you ever comprimise your physique for a better sense of well-being? I'm just curious... I know that a while ago I used to drag ass on a keto diet after a cycle of Triac and I was 175lbs and literally ripped to hell... My ego kept me going.... but other than that, I was unable to concentrate much or make quick decisions.
Enough rambling ;)
 
Force of Green said:
Damn Rosie... Sorry to hear about your day. Then again, I'm not really sorry, because I'm sure there's always something positive that can come of it. Well, actually... yeah it sounds like a shotty day.
You remind me of how I felt my first 2.5-3 weeks of rehab. LOL! I was yelled at and had the sheets pulled off of me to get out of bed and go to the dining area for breakfast. I bypassed the eggs and whatnot and went for the pop tart packs. LOL. I'd sit through countless meetings and seminars just FIGHTING to stay awake and keep my heavy eye-lids from falling. I fell over in my chair several times. One time I fell backwards.
Click to expand...

Is all good. **** happens. What were you in rehab for?


Force of Green said:
Libido situation... haha. that's nuts. I was with someone for 2 years that wanted to wait until marriage. We couldn't do ANYthing sexual and I was fine with it, but it wasn't working in the end (other reasons) and now she's engaged to someone else (5 years late). YAY.
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Well, I'm of mixed minds, simply because I was brought up by a very strict Christian mother, who just never let up about anything. I'm not against doing anything sexual, as my ex-fiance would confirm; it's just that, well, not really wanted it enough to let myself do it, if you know what I mean. And I've had my issues along the way, which have taken some time to get over. I can completely understand a relationship NOT working if the sex wasn't there, since physical intimacy is something most people NEED to keep one together. Just not me.


Force of Green said:
Do you ever comprimise your physique for a better sense of well-being? I'm just curious... I know that a while ago I used to drag ass on a keto diet after a cycle of Triac and I was 175lbs and literally ripped to hell... My ego kept me going.... but other than that, I was unable to concentrate much or make quick decisions.
Enough rambling ;)
Click to expand...

What do you mean? If you mean by binging, even though I know it's bad for me, but because I get a 'happy' (sometimes), then yeah. And I DID go through a period of fasting for 10 days at a time for a few months, way back in 2004 (before I was ever SERIOUS about my physique); and then thought I could go back into the gym and push myself the same as what I was doing before, despite being like the walking dead, and collapsed after managing 3 reps of my second set of squats using 353lb, since my head wasn't quite clear and I'd added extra 44lb by mistake and ****ing my back up badly...But otherwise, training for me IS well-being; withOUT it I am a ***** that even I hate to live with.
 
353 for squats?!!:eek: Nice!
 
Hey Rosie!!
Looking good.
My igf-2 and drive should be here soon. Hope you follow along for the ride!

Invalid Link Removed
 
metroba said:
353 for squats?!!:eek: Nice!
Click to expand...

Thanks. I don't go nearly that heavy any more with squats though, since I'm no longer cycling, and my legs gain muscle VERY fast (and I don't want that).


Inarius said:
Hey Rosie!!
Looking good.
My igf-2 and drive should be here soon. Hope you follow along for the ride!

Invalid Link Removed
Click to expand...

Will do :)
 
Guejsn said:
Is all good. **** happens. What were you in rehab for?




Well, I'm of mixed minds, simply because I was brought up by a very strict Christian mother, who just never let up about anything. I'm not against doing anything sexual, as my ex-fiance would confirm; it's just that, well, not really wanted it enough to let myself do it, if you know what I mean. And I've had my issues along the way, which have taken some time to get over. I can completely understand a relationship NOT working if the sex wasn't there, since physical intimacy is something most people NEED to keep one together. Just not me.




What do you mean? If you mean by binging, even though I know it's bad for me, but because I get a 'happy' (sometimes), then yeah. And I DID go through a period of fasting for 10 days at a time for a few months, way back in 2004 (before I was ever SERIOUS about my physique); and then thought I could go back into the gym and push myself the same as what I was doing before, despite being like the walking dead, and collapsed after managing 3 reps of my second set of squats using 353lb, since my head wasn't quite clear and I'd added extra 44lb by mistake and ****ing my back up badly...But otherwise, training for me IS well-being; withOUT it I am a ***** that even I hate to live with.
Click to expand...
Hmmm... Rosie that's some deep stuff. A lot to digest... I actually had to read it again and again and even leave the computer and walk around the gym here. lol.

I was in rehab for a 2 month stint with crystal meth. I was completely and utterly exhausted and depressed to the point of being pretty much catatonic, except at night when I could drag myself to the hotel vending machine to buy about 20 bucks worth of candy and other junk food to binge eat while watching late night tv and then passing out. I lost my cars, apartment, and myself (pretty much). I called to a person who was a friend of mine and also a drug dealer and asked if he can get adderall... so I can pick myself up by stimming out. He said he had something better and offered me meth. Well, the story pretty much is blah until 2 months later: rehab.

But about you... Yeah I feel you. My girlfriend at the time was raised strictly Catholic and she had her strong set of religious morals and beliefs that were engraved in her head. I didn't mind at all for the most part. It started to get to me at times where kissing just wasn't cutting it and I wanted a little bit more. But, in the same token I don't like women that are easy. I don't get good vibes from easy women... except Metroba.

Keep on the righteous path!
 
Force of Green said:
Hmmm... Rosie that's some deep stuff. A lot to digest... I actually had to read it again and again and even leave the computer and walk around the gym here. lol.
Click to expand...

I get that a lot, LOL...


Force of Green said:
I was in rehab for a 2 month stint with crystal meth. I was completely and utterly exhausted and depressed to the point of being pretty much catatonic, except at night when I could drag myself to the hotel vending machine to buy about 20 bucks worth of candy and other junk food to binge eat while watching late night tv and then passing out. I lost my cars, apartment, and myself (pretty much). I called to a person who was a friend of mine and also a drug dealer and asked if he can get adderall... so I can pick myself up by stimming out. He said he had something better and offered me meth. Well, the story pretty much is blah until 2 months later: rehab.
Click to expand...

Some serious ****. Kudos, though, for realizing and accepting that you had a problem and getting for help. It took me AGES to even admit to myself that I needed help for a few things!...Did you feel that the rehab was worth it? Like, could you have kicked it without it?


Force of Green said:
But about you... Yeah I feel you. My girlfriend at the time was raised strictly Catholic and she had her strong set of religious morals and beliefs that were engraved in her head. I didn't mind at all for the most part. It started to get to me at times where kissing just wasn't cutting it and I wanted a little bit more. But, in the same token I don't like women that are easy. I don't get good vibes from easy women... except Metroba.
Click to expand...

Well, as I told someone last night. The general consensus and what Rosie thinks are sometimes VERY COMPLETELY DIFFERENT things. And what make perfect sense to ME doesn't to everyone else. As for how I was raised, I've formed my own opinions, and yeah, battled to get rid of some of the mindsets that I had...As for 'easy' females; don't even get me started. I WON'T be just another notch on some guy's belt (**** that!); I have more self-respect than that...But seriously, nothing wrong with MORE. I just don't think that I was with the right person is all...And now, distance makes it a little difficult for anything physical...And yeah, it's true that the longer you go without, the easier it is to KEEP going without (wish I could apply that with diet and STOP binging!!!)


Force of Green said:
Keep on the righteous path!
Click to expand...

Not sure about righteous, but I'll stay with what's right for Rosie...
 
shaddow said:
Yeah, that's crazy. I made it up to 165 this week. :toofunny:
Click to expand...

Yes, well strength and size CAN be related, but not always (I was only 45kg (i.e. 99lb) at the time, too) :D
 
Day 26

0900 - HIIT Rollers:
a. 4 min in 39x16 @70-75% HRmax @ 100 rpm
c. 8 x 20 sec effort/10 sec easy in 39x16 (HR 85% HRmax, rpm N/A)
c. 2 min in 39x18 @ 120 rpm (HR dropped back to 70% HRmax)
d. 10 min in 39x16 @ 80-85% HRmax @ 120 rpm

0924 - Stretch 24 min.


Sleep - Time and Quality: ~2100-0744 (waking at 0315, 0330, 0423, and 0630), so ~10.5 hours sleep. Wow, MORE sleep. Again, NOT good!!! Grrrrr, serious frustration here! I want to be getting up and going for a training run and then going to the gym for some weights!!!

Mental Alertness/Focus: Been there when I had to be. My client today was like looking at me in disbelief sometimes, because I was bouncing off the walls for the shortest of times (and then, well)...Still, no study progress made (procrastination is really NOT the key, Rosie...)

Energy: Ok, once I was up. Still, it's taking 3-5 caps of Hot-Rox Extreme once I get up to 'wake' me up. And then I'm still almost predictably 'crashing' 3-4 hours later (since I've been getting up so late I've only been doing the latter ONCE daily, instead of twice, as I would if I were getting up at 0315). I'm being completely useless for most of the day, and then suddenly, when I'm going to bed, coming awake, and then finding it difficult to go to sleep, and then having troouble getting up even moreso in the mornings (when going to bed at 2300 and having 3-4 hours sleep would never have been a problem before August). I want to be bouncing off the walls again...

Motivation: There. Especially when I relooked over the pics that I did for AN in August. Damn, I was soooo far from being anywhere near decent. Grrrrr (yes, it's just one of those days...)

Mood/Aggression: Aggression, yes. Some insanity also, yes (before the aggression)...I am all over the place at the moment; no fun at all...

Stress: Don't even want to think about it. I should be learning to MANAGE it, instead of shoving it to the back of my mind, where it builds up and then explodes...

Libido: None today.

Joints: Fine.

Endurance: Ok.

Strength: N/A.

Quality of Training: Ok.

Pump and Vascularity: No pump...Vascularity ok...

Muscle Hardness/Density: Ok.

Body Composition and Look: Midsection looked better than yesterday. I get depressed whenever I look in the mirror these days, so should just NOT look...

Overall Sense of Feeling: Got my bloods back today. I haven't had them done for a couple of months, since I was going into shock a lot afterwards, and was getting sick of the needles (I can still see all the needle marks from months ago; yes, not cool). Anyways, results weren't good, and so going back to the doctor on Monday...On another note, the weather is nice. It's not dark until ~2030, and will only keep staying light for longer. The temperature is mild and warm most of the day. It's cooler later at night and the perfect time to be going for a training run or something. I want to be going to the gym, and yet, sometimes I can just not be bothered. And well, I soooo want to be back into routine as I'm used to and LIKE...Please, Rosie, get back to 'normal' soon; you're KILLING me here...
 
Dood come on you know you look good! Dont give yourself that crap! Keep it up Rosie you look fantastico!
 
metroba said:
Dood come on you know you look good! Dont give yourself that crap! Keep it up Rosie you look fantastico!
Click to expand...
The problem with that logic is we are all our own worst critics. Most of us do this to enjoy the way we look. So if you know you are not where you want to be..but you could be if you did all that needed to be done, then its hard to accept what most people think is good.

I'm the same way, people will come up and tell me how awesome they think I look. All I think about was the diet I SHOULD have had, where I want to be and not how far I have come. She will get there and when she does then it will be her achievement and her battle won. But in this life..you have to be happy with you! Sometimes we are all harder on ourselves than we need to be. But I would rather be this way then have NO goals.
 
Guejsn said:
0900 - HIIT Rollers:
a. 4 min in 39x16 @70-75% HRmax @ 100 rpm
c. 8 x 20 sec effort/10 sec easy in 39x16 (HR 85% HRmax, rpm N/A)
c. 2 min in 39x18 @ 120 rpm (HR dropped back to 70% HRmax)
d. 10 min in 39x16 @ 80-85% HRmax @ 120 rpm

0924 - Stretch 24 min.


Sleep - Time and Quality: ~2100-0744 (waking at 0315, 0330, 0423, and 0630), so ~10.5 hours sleep. Wow, MORE sleep. Again, NOT good!!! Grrrrr, serious frustration here! I want to be getting up and going for a training run and then going to the gym for some weights!!!

Mental Alertness/Focus: Been there when I had to be. My client today was like looking at me in disbelief sometimes, because I was bouncing off the walls for the shortest of times (and then, well)...Still, no study progress made (procrastination is really NOT the key, Rosie...)

Energy: Ok, once I was up. Still, it's taking 3-5 caps of Hot-Rox Extreme once I get up to 'wake' me up. And then I'm still almost predictably 'crashing' 3-4 hours later (since I've been getting up so late I've only been doing the latter ONCE daily, instead of twice, as I would if I were getting up at 0315). I'm being completely useless for most of the day, and then suddenly, when I'm going to bed, coming awake, and then finding it difficult to go to sleep, and then having troouble getting up even moreso in the mornings (when going to bed at 2300 and having 3-4 hours sleep would never have been a problem before August). I want to be bouncing off the walls again...

Motivation: There. Especially when I relooked over the pics that I did for AN in August. Damn, I was soooo far from being anywhere near decent. Grrrrr (yes, it's just one of those days...)

Mood/Aggression: Aggression, yes. Some insanity also, yes (before the aggression)...I am all over the place at the moment; no fun at all...

Stress: Don't even want to think about it. I should be learning to MANAGE it, instead of shoving it to the back of my mind, where it builds up and then explodes...

Libido: None today.

Joints: Fine.

Endurance: Ok.

Strength: N/A.

Quality of Training: Ok.

Pump and Vascularity: No pump...Vascularity ok...

Muscle Hardness/Density: Ok.

Body Composition and Look: Midsection looked better than yesterday. I get depressed whenever I look in the mirror these days, so should just NOT look...

Overall Sense of Feeling: Got my bloods back today. I haven't had them done for a couple of months, since I was going into shock a lot afterwards, and was getting sick of the needles (I can still see all the needle marks from months ago; yes, not cool). Anyways, results weren't good, and so going back to the doctor on Monday...On another note, the weather is nice. It's not dark until ~2030, and will only keep staying light for longer. The temperature is mild and warm most of the day. It's cooler later at night and the perfect time to be going for a training run or something. I want to be going to the gym, and yet, sometimes I can just not be bothered. And well, I soooo want to be back into routine as I'm used to and LIKE...Please, Rosie, get back to 'normal' soon; you're KILLING me here...
Click to expand...
You're not in such bad shape here... There are a few things that need tweaking, but it's like a string of Christmas lights... You can fix one, but another light burns out ;)

If I were living my ideal life, I'd be eating 5 meals everyday... delicious meals of course. Eating new exotic fruits and veggies everyday... And I'd be putting in (3) 45 minute full bod workouts per week and 2 nice, fun cardio sessions. I'd be 6% bodyfat and I'd be happy and energetic. I keep fighting to get there... But maybe it's not all about fighting. The eternal-internal struggle gets ME nowhere. I will look in the mirror and critcize my abs or my face ... "damn i look bloated today"... but sooner or later I get fizzled out.

I'm trying to practice my own advice... Have you tried meditating? It's hard to do on stims, because the mind tends to wander more and race about. But it may be the ticket to becoming in touch with our higher self. Not the self we wish to be, but the self that we truly are. In essence, we are truly perfect.
 
metroba said:
Dood come on you know you look good! Dont give yourself that crap! Keep it up Rosie you look fantastico!
Click to expand...
crader said:
The problem with that logic is we are all our own worst critics. Most of us do this to enjoy the way we look. So if you know you are not where you want to be..but you could be if you did all that needed to be done, then its hard to accept what most people think is good.

I'm the same way, people will come up and tell me how awesome they think I look. All I think about was the diet I SHOULD have had, where I want to be and not how far I have come. She will get there and when she does then it will be her achievement and her battle won. But in this life..you have to be happy with you! Sometimes we are all harder on ourselves than we need to be. But I would rather be this way then have NO goals.
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I've always been harder on myself that I proably should be. But hey, if I'm not, no one else will be. And yes, Christine, I have to learn how to be HAPPY; something that Sean has been working with me on; I think I need to learn to love myself before anything, though. Yep, I'd be where I wanted to be if I got my diet ok and stopped binging...


Force of Green said:
You're not in such bad shape here... There are a few things that need tweaking, but it's like a string of Christmas lights... You can fix one, but another light burns out ;)
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Oh, there's LOTS of things that need fixing. The first is to get LEAN enough!


Force of Green said:
If I were living my ideal life, I'd be eating 5 meals everyday... delicious meals of course. Eating new exotic fruits and veggies everyday... And I'd be putting in (3) 45 minute full bod workouts per week and 2 nice, fun cardio sessions. I'd be 6% bodyfat and I'd be happy and energetic. I keep fighting to get there... But maybe it's not all about fighting. The eternal-internal struggle gets ME nowhere. I will look in the mirror and critcize my abs or my face ... "damn i look bloated today"... but sooner or later I get fizzled out.
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Hmmm, ideals. Well, if I was able to get back onto my normal training schedule of 4-5 resistance sessions, 6-7 cardio sessions, and the have my diet (this is my bane) perfect (i.e. NO binging!) on top of that, then the leanness and fitness would happen, and I would be ok...Life IS a battle. You fight to get to where you want. You fight to get WHAT you want. The strongest survive. And yes, sometimes it gets tiring. But we fight for our ideals and our dreams, etc. If we didn't, then I don't think I would take that much satisfaction in mine when they become a reality.


Force of Green said:
I'm trying to practice my own advice... Have you tried meditating? It's hard to do on stims, because the mind tends to wander more and race about. But it may be the ticket to becoming in touch with our higher self. Not the self we wish to be, but the self that we truly are. In essence, we are truly perfect.
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No, I haven't. I'm not the kind of person that it would work for. For me to realize the self that I truly am I need to challenge the way I am and why I am like that. It's actually pretty hard, unless you're prepared to see just how much ugliness and hurt there can be in a single person. We may have been perfect once. But now, we are all imperfect beings in an imperfect world. Perfection is just something that we strive for.
 
Day 27

0930 – Rollers:
a. 4 min in 39x18 @ 55% HRmax @ 108 rpm
c. 4 min in 39x17 @ 65-70% HRmax @ 116 rpm
c. 4 min in 39x16 @ 75% HRmax @ 116 rpm
d. 4 min in 39x15 @ 75-80% HRmax @ 120 rpm
e. 4 min in 39x14 @ 80-85% HRmax @ 124 rpm
f. 1 min in 39x16 @ 116 rpm (HR dropped back to 75% HRmax)
Decided on the rollers, instead of a run. Decided on a 'step' protocol session. Started off 'easy' and worked my way down in gears/up in intensity (i.e. cadence and HR). HR was rising well today, although still a little on the LOW side. Hips and medial knees were hurting today, for the shortest of times, when starting out. It was pretty hot already, and the sweat was just pouring off. Ok session.

1134 – Full-Body (30 sec recovery at end of each triset, 1 min recovery at end of each superset):
Triset A (Legs) –
1. BB FS 6 x 6
2. BB RD (on step) 6 x 12
3. SCR 6 x 6
Triset B (Back/Chest) –
4. CG PU 4 x 6
5. P/U (feet on bench, hands on m/b) 4 x 12
6. BB BOR 4 x 6
Superset A (Chest/Back) –
7. P/U (feet on bench, hands on floor) 2 x 12
8. BB BOR 2 x 12
Triset C (Shoulders) –
9. BB SP 6 x 12
10. DB LR 6 x 12
11. Inc DB RR 6 x 12
Superset B (Arms) –
12. Dips 6 x 12
13. DB ZC 6 x 12
Triset D (Abs) –
14. Rope Crunches 4 x 10
15. Hanging Knee Raises 4 x 10
16. V-sits (on floor) 4 x 10
Since I haven't done a resistance session in what feels like forever, today it was 'clobbering time'! Head was in a good space on the way out to the gym. I'd decided on doing 6 sets per exercise/body-part, with minimal recovery, to make it as intense as possible. The entire session was trisets and supersets, starting with Legs...Triset A: BB FS same weight as have been using. Actually, BB RD and SCR were too (can't increase the weight on the stack for SCR). BB FS were good, deep, and to form. Back was starting to 'nag' a little after the second set of SCR (always does this, for some reason; think maybe it's the full weight on my shoulders), but managed. Did BB RD on a step again, to get that stretch. Hands were slippery and it was a gritting of teeth to keep my grip from slipping too much...Triset B: CG PU were done with an extra 13.2lb. Managed them all very well, which was interesting, considering. P/U were a battle on the last 2 sets, and I had to pause after the eighth rep both times to be able to keep pushing on. BB BOR was done at the highest weight I've been doing so far. I still had to dropset the weight for both the last 2 sets though, due to forearms screaming and hands slipping...Superset A: Because 4 sets of CG PU was all my body was wanting, and I wanted to be doing 6 sets per exercise/body-part, I did a couple more sets of P/U (hands on the floor, though, since the last couple with hands on m/b was damn difficult and I was close to collapsing each time), supersetted with BB BOR, at a lighter weight, for higher reps (to 'make up' the 6 reps that would have been done if I'd done 2 x 6 more of CG PU). After the last set of BB BOR I was near passing out, and had to steady myself, breathing deeply for a little before taking the weight off the BB...Triset C: BB SP was done at a lighter weight than I would normally use, because I was so close to passing out. I mananged, though, getting the 12 reps out quicker than normal on each set. With DB LR, not only my body, but also my ego, started taking a battering. After starting out at a lighter weight than I would anyways, I had to dropset that on the second set, because my body was just not handling it, and I was so close to SCREAMING in frustration. After that, I stayed at the lower weight. Tried to console myself by telling myself that I'd already done a lot, and that it was only to be expected. Bah! Mind didn't want any of it. Inc. DB RR was also done at a lower weight than I would normally, and forearms were screaming and Rosie was gritting her teeth and trying to breathe. I was tempted to only do 4 sets for each exercise in this triset, but stubbornness and willpower took over. Panting heavily, cussing quietly to myself, I got through this...Superset B: Dips were done at b/w (maybe could have added some weight, but), and DB ZC at a weight not too far below what I would normally attempt. Anterior delts were looking good during Dips. Biceps were looking good during DB ZC. Biceps really started burning after the third set of DB ZC. And in between supersets I was walking in a daze between exercises. However, after the way I was feeling after BB BOR (and even Triset C), I felt like I was starting to 'come right'...Triset D: Last lot. By this stage I was welcoming the sight of the finish, but at the same time, wanting to KEEP GOING. Anyways, didn't really feel my Abs much, but everything was still hard. Last set of rope crunches was the worst, and forearms were already ****ed over...90 minutes of BRUTAL!!! The LONGEST resistance session that I have done since early 2004. (And even then, my 90-150 min sessions were 3-5 min recovery between SETS, not the 30-60 sec recovery between trisets and supersets of today). I felt pretty smashed, but VERY HAPPY, when I left the gym...I got told that I was a fool for doing what I did, and was asked if I would give that to anyone else. Hell no, I wouldn't. But then, I know that my body can handle it. Besides, I NEED the abuse and punishment, and I LOVE it!!!

1230 – Stretch 21 min.


Sleep - Time and Quality: ~0100-0823 (waking at 0700 and 0730), so just under 7.5 hours sleep. Deep. Dark. No dreams last night.

Mental Alertness/Focus: Well, I have been there today, as needed. Fatigued, though. But need to be there for work tonight...

Energy: Yay for the resistance session. Even though it left me so totally ****ed over that it's not funny; I just wanted to sleep when I got home (but my libido was too high to let me be sleeping...)

Motivation: High. After that awesome session, how could it NOT be?

Mood/Aggression: Good. But this can change in a moment (yes, we know Rosie's hormones and body is all screwed up...)

Stress: Still high.

Libido: After brutalizing my body in the gym, I wanted to be brutalizing it in other ways as well...

Joints: Good.

Endurance: All there. No one can ever doubt this!

Strength: Maintaining.

Quality of Training: Unbelievably fcuking AWESOME!!! LOVED IT!!! This is how it should be ALL the time, battering the body like that!!!

Pump and Vascularity: Pump, yes, but not as good as you would have thought...Vascularity all knots and blueness...

Muscle Hardness/Density: Good.

Body Composition and Look: Still not happy with it. Still a far way off from where I WANT to be. So, keep brutalizing your body through training and eat to enhance those effects...

Overall Sense of Feeling: Fcuking brilliant right now. I am smashed beyond belief, but I am so 'high' it's awesome!!! See, Rosie NEEDS training; it vitalizes her and makes her a happy woman (yes, you do too, so put THAT look away)...Anyways, it's only going to be two resistance sessions again this week, but from next week Rosie shall be back to plan, with 3 x Full-Body and 1 x Body-Part!
 
Rosie, that last post was refreshing. I'm going to leech away some of your energy and motivation. Looks like you've gots plenty to go around ;)

Excellent to see you're kicking ass and taking names... and the brutalization comment... ;) brilliant.
 
Hurleyboy05 said:
Holy Giant Post!!! ^
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Yeah. GREAT. Aye :D:D:D


Force of Green said:
Rosie, that last post was refreshing. I'm going to leech away some of your energy and motivation. Looks like you've gots plenty to go around ;)

Excellent to see you're kicking ass and taking names... and the brutalization comment... ;) brilliant.
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Leech away, Kyle :) Yeah, I was pretty stoked with the resistance session!...Taking names?...As for the brutalization, well, got to get rid of the energy SOMEHOW, and right now the gym it is :D
 
Day 28

0930 - HIIT Rollers:
a. 4 min in 39x16 @ 65% HRmax @ 100 rpm
b. 8 x 20 sec effort/10 sec easy (HR 85% HRmax, rpm N/A)
c. 1 min in 39x18 @ 108 rpm (HR dropped back to 60% HRmax)
d. 10 min in 39x16 @ 80-85% HRmax @ 116 rpm
e. 1 min in 39x18 @ 116 rpm (HR dropped back to 70% HRmax)
I was feeling my quads after yesterday, that's for sure. But I DID manage all my efforts. Not very fast and not up to the usual standard (i.e. HR and speed). But hey, all good. After efforts, had a minute to recover' my legs, and then it was back into gear, at a good HR and speed. Ended up being a good session overall...

1045 - Full-Body (1 min recovery between sets and supersets):
1. LP - feet high 6 x 6
2. WG LPD 6 x 6 SUPERSETTED WITH 3. Inc. DB BP 6 x 6
4. BB SP 6 x 6
5. Dumbbell French Press (DB FP) 6 x 6 SUPERSETTED WITH 6. Alt. DB HC 6 x 12
Decided on 6 x 6 for all exercises today. Another Full-Body session...Started out with LP. Decided that since I'm NOT going to be going heavy on squats at all anymore, that I would do it with LP. Started out at 201.8kg (i.e. 443.96lb). Did ok. Because it was so easy went up for the next set, to 240.8kg (i.e. 529.76lb). Again, smiles afterwards. Again, up in weight. Kept going up, ending at 282.4kg (i.e. 621.28lb) for the last set. Yes, a few looks from the guys in the gym, but only because a female half their size had 7 plates either side of the LP machine! (So, yes, Jeff, should be an awesome pic, showing all those females out there that a woman CAN be strong AND sexy!) :D...Supersetted Back and Chest. Heaviest I have done on WG LPD, and stayed there for all 6 sets. With Inc. DB BP, started at a weight I would normally do 6-8 reps on. Since I was only wanting 6 reps, just did 6. But because it was 'easy', went up in weight; and stayed there for the next 3 sets. After the fourth set my wrists were starting to hurt, and so I went back down to the 22kg (i.e. 48.4lb) DB for the last two sets...BB SP, decided to go a little lighter than usual, because of my wrists, and chucked 20kg on (i.e. 88 lb total weight). Right biceps tendon was really hurting after the second set, but gritted teeth and did all 6 sets. Was ok...Finished off with Arms' superset...It was a good session. Time passed quickly, even though it ended up being 55 min. Didn't feel like I was gogn to pass out at all today, which is also a positive thing...

1159 - Stretch 20 min.


Sleep - Time and Quality: ~0000-0823 (waking at 0700 and 0730), so nearly 8.5 hours sleep. I was sooo ready for bed by ~2000 last night, but because of work (1900-2300) I had to stay awake...Dreaming...

Mental Alertness/Focus: Been there. Not done any study yet (spank, I know...)

Energy: Had great smooth energy in the gym. After the movies just felt fatigued suddenly (feeling the effects of the gym...)

Motivation: There.

Mood/Aggression: No aggression. Just lots of, well, yes...

Stress: High.

Libido: After great resistance sessions like the last two days, it RISES...And RISES...

Joints: Good.

Endurance: Excellent.

Strength: Improving. Still.

Quality of Training: EXCELLENT!!!

Pump and Vascularity: Wicked pump at the end of the resistance session...Awesome vascularity as well...

Muscle Hardness/Density: All over, today...

Body Composition and Look: Arms looking better. Midsection and hips leaning more. Calves defined and awesome as...

Overall Sense of Feeling: Good...Went to the last netball test series match between the Silver Ferns and England last night. For someone who doesn't like netball, it was ok. We won, which was the key thing :D...Went to see Max Payne after the gym, food, stretching, and a shower. It was interesting. Different. Good, though...Just feeling pretty fatigued in general. But bouncing off the walls too, if you know what I mean. Having great training sessions has been awesome for my psyche and wellbeing!
 
Hurleyboy05 said:
Hey look, Rosie dyed her hair blonde:

Invalid Link Removed
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Haha, Hurley. I'm not THAT strong (well, not in my UPPER Body anyways :D), and I dont' wear glasses, and I'd like to think I'm pretty, at LEAST :ntome:
 
Day 29

0900 - HIIT Rollers:
a. 4 min in 39x18 @ 55-65% HRmax @ 100 rpm
b. 8 x 20 sec effort/10 sec easy in 39x16 (HR 75-85% HRmax, rpm N/A)
c. 2 min in 39x18 @ 116 rpm (HR dropped back to 70% HRmax)
d. 10 min in 39x17 @ 80-85% HRmax @ 116-118 rpm
The weather was pretty shite today (not like the gorgeous sun and heat (although windy as hell) of the last few days). And later, so used the rollers. HIIT, as scheduled (gym tomorrow)...Started off in an easier gear, slower cadence, to get body 'warmed' up and not just throwing it in full speed ahead. As seen, HR was a little on the lower side, but that was ok...During efforts HR took quite a bit of effort to get up (and even then it wasn't that high)...Did a couple of minutes easy afterwards (yes, Rosie is learning to take things 'easy' sometimes)...Then increase in cadence and gear, and back to business!...Ended up being an ok session; not great, but not a complete waste of time, either...

0931 - Stretch 21 min.


Sleep - Time and Quality: ~2215-0750 (waking at 0305, 0645, and 0700), so ~9.5 hours sleep. Some interesting dreams in there. Surprising that I woke at 0305 withOUT my alarm today (I set it later), as I used to pre-August...

Mental Alertness/Focus: Been at school most of the day. HAD to be switched on. Got 'fatigued' walking home, though...

Energy: Had enough for what I needed to. And when I got home from school, just flopped on the floor...

Motivation: There.

Mood/Aggression: Aggression, yes, especially when I was tired and almost passing out and talking to you (yes, I know you heard it)...Mood has been ok for most of the day...

Stress: Really rising now!!!

Libido: Damnit, this is up and down like a fcuking yo-yo!

Joints: Good.

Endurance: Ok.

Strength: N/A.

Quality of Training: Good.

Pump and Vascularity: No pump...Vascularity good...

Muscle Hardness/Density: There.

Body Composition and Look: Hips leaning some more. And around collarbone and upper chest as well...

Overall Sense of Feeling: Saw the doctor this morning, and have to wait a month for further tests and a follow-up (waste of time, IMO)...Anyways, got four assignments due this week, and a presentation to prepare for on Wednesday (that will most probably be done Tuesday night), so not really a happy chappy at the moment...One thing has been great, though. And that is a complete LACK OF DOMS after my gruelling resistance sessions on the weekend (I can thank the IGF-2 for THAT!) Which is fcuking AWESOME!!! Full-Body sessions and no 'pain' afterwards is just brilliant! I LOVE IT!!!
 
I think rosie calls the elliptical machine "rollers"
 
jakellpet said:
Hi Rosie - been meaning to ask what HIIT 'rollers' are (understand the HIIT bit)

Thanks, JKP
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delsolrob said:
I think rosie calls the elliptical machine "rollers"
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You are completely OFF BASE, delsolrob.

Have you ever noticed what cyclists warm up on before track racing? Some use A-frames. Some use a set of rollers (See pic "Cycling Rollers" attached). Rollers are just that: 3 rollers connected by 'threads' In essence, you put your bike on top of the rollers, which are positioned so that the back wheel settles between two of them, and the front wheel sits on the first one. It requires balance and skill to stay on, but once you get used to them, it's fine.


jakellpet said:
rightio - prefer spin classes personally - reminds me of my raving days.
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I've only ever taken ONE spin class. Personally, I prefer to be out on the road doing a training ride (much better). I also have rollers' programmes for training sessions equivalent to what I would be doing outside (for when the weather is shite).
 

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oops, I thought I remembered you mentioning this in Metrobas thread...rollers = elliptical.

well, now I won't forget:hammer:
 
I've only ever taken ONE spin class. Personally, I prefer to be out on the road doing a training ride (much better). I also have rollers' programmes for training sessions equivalent to what I would be doing outside (for when the weather is shite).
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lol...never been hit by a car in a spin class
 
delsolrob said:
oops, I thought I remembered you mentioning this in Metrobas thread...rollers = elliptical.

well, now I won't forget:hammer:
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Well, I HAVE explained what rollers are numerous times, but never as an ellipical :)


jakellpet said:
lol...never been hit by a car in a spin class
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True. Although I've never been hit by a car on TRAINING rides :fool2: Then again, I haven't been out on the road since early last year, just doing rollers' time (and yes, gets boring if spending long periods of time on them).
 
Those rollers actually sound fun to me. I wanna try them out! Oh yeah, I guess I should buy a bike first...
 
shaddow said:
Those rollers actually sound fun to me. I wanna try them out! Oh yeah, I guess I should buy a bike first...
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They're good, especially when you're used to them. The first time I used them, though, I fell off, getting off my bike :D And if you're going really fast (i.e. ~70 km/hr; yes, done that!) then sometimes you have to be careful that you don't ride 'off' them and shoot off ahead of where they are (garage doors in front of you no fun at all) :p


Resolve said:
I had to ask what roller were too, they do sound like a cooler form of HIIT, though just plain sprints certainly leave me on the floor.
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I actually find doing sprints on my bike a lot HARDER than regular sprinting, not sure why. Although running these days certainly leaves me almost in a collapsed heap at my front door afterwards :)
 
Guejsn said:
They're good, especially when you're used to them. The first time I used them, though, I fell off, getting off my bike :D And if you're going really fast (i.e. ~70 km/hr; yes, done that!) then sometimes you have to be careful that you don't ride 'off' them and shoot off ahead of where they are (garage doors in front of you no fun at all) :p




I actually find doing sprints on my bike a lot HARDER than regular sprinting, not sure why. Although running these days certainly leaves me almost in a collapsed heap at my front door afterwards :)
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I started riding my bike to work when I moved into my new home around 2 months ago - its like a 40 min bike ride (50 if im doing it casually) I definitely find it easier doing regular sprints... not sure why when I start sprinting on the bike i kind of just cant keep pushing maybe cause I get going too fast? lol
 
omegax said:
I started riding my bike to work when I moved into my new home around 2 months ago - its like a 40 min bike ride (50 if im doing it casually) I definitely find it easier doing regular sprints... not sure why when I start sprinting on the bike i kind of just cant keep pushing maybe cause I get going too fast? lol
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Depends what gear you're in, mate. Once you get to the peak speed/cadence for that gear it's all about MAINTAINING the pace (spoken by an ex-track sprinter/500m TT cyclist).
 
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