Popping my Anabolic cherry in Costa Rica!

Beowulf said:
Aca estoy :D

Uhhh, be careful with the direct translations. Don't say "muy caliente" unless you want to tell the girl she is sexually excited (ie dripping) :D

I'd stick with linda, preciosa, etc. If you want to get blatantly bold you can step it up to "tienes un cuerpazo". (Basically, you have a very sexy, voluptuous body).

Motiv8r, you have the best life imaginable. I wish I had been able to do this before meeting my lady. Oh well, I have it about as good as it gets, but I do miss the sense of adventure. Have fun, and be careful with that frickin' cialis.

:lol: Priceless bro priceless!
 
3clipseGT said:
:lol: Priceless bro priceless!

Alright, I am drained. No pun intended. Do you know what I like about getting older, I can use the "force" to sense the things on the horizon. Well, I was working my way into this FINE ass chicas life as her novio. It had been a NON sexual relationship up until this long three day weekend here in CR. SO...

I decided to take a small dose of vardinifil (Orally UBI) and it about made my head and possibly my BP blow up the first two hours post usage. SO after my raging mega boner at work all day I head to Atenas to see this chick. She is a pretty innoscent girl by my standards. Like Ahnuld in Total Recall, I like them atheletic and a little dirty. I felt she was pretty saintly considering my background. ( Most laws were made without my presence and therefore are all VOID.)

Friday night was sterile and sweet. She shaved my back and chest and loved doing it. hehee. Saturday night was Wedding Crashers and some making out. She knew I was needing some attention down (ED DRUGS) there so she reaches down and plays with my best friend for a little while. I was thinking, a little jerky, alright this is getting better.

She then scoots down the bed and and comences to sucking all the air out of my little ponys world. During it I was cheering for her and all. she asks "DO you like it?" As I ram her head back down my buddys path I hollar YES, You are GREAT!

Sunday, it only gets better. So I get a blowjob Sunday afternoon. Just laying around making out and she just goes downtown on me. SO of course I oblige her the meeting with Her "New best friend." We go out Sunday night with some friends and about three hours into it I look at her with those "Gee I am tired we should split eyes... Yawn." So we are making out and she goes down on my again.

So I am standing over the bed and this SWEET woman as she is kneeling on the bed letting me just ram her head all over my little buddy. I poon no doubt. So we are laying in bed and she asks me, have you ever shaved your pubes? I was like, not really. She asks me, "Can I shave them for you?" I said, you must be careful, and again spread my legs to this wonderful woman. She was so cautious, it was deathly exciting from another planet watching this lady skillfully manuver around my delicate manhood as she dutifully moved it to the proper side for trimming.

Monday. It is a holiday and we do the pool again today. I am burnt and a little deca and (Holy mother of God over starched) food bloated. She digs big boys.... hehe.

Another afternoon ends in two more blowjobs. My **** is raw and pees in two new directions. This is one weekend with this woman. All she wants to do is COOK for me like the end is near, and let me cum in her mouth. Hell, I hate me. hehe.

Goodnight from CR, beotches. ;)
 
:nutkick: :FUfinger:
 
Five blow jobs and a shaved gooch. Can this constitute the basis for a meaningful and long term relationship??

I hope so!!! I have never been treated so well by such a nice woman. He##, I kind of hate me for having it so good.

Austin, I do not know about God. But most recently I have been wearing my spidey draws and shooting my special web making material all over her. hehe

Spidey draws ONE, Tica Chica, ZERO.
 
jomi822 said:
good lord. costa mother****ing rica here i come. Sórbalo abajo biatch!

Now I have a very important ethics question. Is it gay after she blows me for me to kiss her? I mean, I do not want her to think she is less attractive with my goo having been in her mouth, but there is something about the taste of seman in her kiss that makes me shudder.

I am desperatly seeking blow job advice here.
 
That is like the age-old question. You do not want to offend her by not, but your love potion should not touch your own cauldron. Is she going for the full tongue after? Or just a peck? Another option is always bring a glass of water to these activities, offer her a chug making it look like you are the nice guy, that way she is no longer saturated with dirty Movi-Sauce
 
Mulletsoldier said:
That is like the age-old question. You do not want to offend her by not, but your love potion should not touch your own cauldron. Is she going for the full tongue after? Or just a peck? Another option is always bring a glass of water to these activities, offer her a chug making it look like you are the nice guy, that way she is no longer saturated with dirty Movi-Sauce

Well, mostly like a nice peck on the lips. I certainly think the sip of water is a great middle ground without affecting her. Great suggestions Mullet. Thanks man.
 
i think weve all been in this situation. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet. hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. if you want to get nailed, just play ball.

now if its an everday occurence kinda thing, you have to draw the law somewhere.
 
jomi822 said:
i think weve all been in this situation. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet. hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. if you want to get nailed, just play ball.

now if its an everday occurence kinda thing, you have to draw the law somewhere.

Getting some ideas about diet here. I am having trouble with my diet. This is a new problem with me being in the part of the world I am. I am NOT getting enough protein, and I AM getting way too many starches. Even witht the Superdrol.

How can I convince my new lady to give me less starches without hurting her feelings, and I may have to eat more tuna that I wish. Oh well. Any other suggestions on diet in a new country?
 
Ubiquitous said:
Nice.

Now treat her good and next time repay the favor goddamn it.

Major Update:

Today is Monday and I have been very busy on numerous fronts. First, I have been battling a terrible head cold and haven't lifted or written here much. I was ALL doped up on cold medicine. I am feeling better and will use the 5-6 days off as a MUCH needed break. I was having to dose too much pain medicine to keep up with my strength gains. The almost 28 year old body feels much improved now. Might have something to do with the weekend though.... hehehehe.

Thursday I do a sales run that take 16 hours. It is majorly catabolic, I am sick, and it is the rainy season. I felt nothing short of a Pissed of guerilla in the muthfvcking mist. But the sales from the run will be far worth the tempoary pain of it. I saw crocs, and white faced monkeys down in Manueal Antonio. Holy bat dung MA is a cool FRICKING place boyz. Every high adreinline adventure you could dream of, and then some we are yet to dare to dream. The junky in me was twitching the whole time when I saw all being offered. The monkeys swinging from the powerlines only added to my hard on. It was surefvking-real.

I swear to God this woman isn't afraid to kill me, and I am so fvcking turned on!!

SO Fridday night, I am still doped up meds, and my girl is coming over for the first time ever. With my years adding up I thought maybe I smelled the sealing of a deal kind of weekend. Oh boy, did I!

SO she had been at my house for about two hours and we had been on the couch with my hot, head in her lap cooling off from the cold I had, and we head to the bed. We are kissing and talking about little lover things.... then some how I manage to in a gentlemanly way bring up the discussion of sex vs love making. It all boils down to I know at this point I canmake love to her, not sex. She the said.... Well?!?? I said I didn't have any condoms here, and she gave this run and go get them ***** kind of look.... which I did. SO my cold is now offically over. (Not really, but like I give a **** in this moment.) I run to the big grocery across the street from my house and buy a six pack of condoms. Big ones..... ( Had to throw that in there UBI)

I come back and she has changed into some fvcking lingerie to make you wanna die son. She then says why don't we have dinner first? I say, sure baby, no problem. (As I went ahead and blew my first load in pants, LOL) I cook a very nice dinner for her trying hard not to cut offffff any of my appendages while looking at her. Difficult.

After dinner I head to the shower and get nice and cleaned up. She is waiting for me on the bed. Needless to say, I head downtown on her for at least 20 minutes, she's coming and screaming in Spanish. Ohhhh, Papi. She HAD NOT had sex in five or six years, seriously. She is a very petite woman, less than half of me. And I have a memeber bigger than any she's ever seen... I go through 2 condoms in 1.5 hours that night, 2 more in the morning, and she's taking it like a trooper.

We head to her home town, we go to this ALL night party on Sat night and I am wiped out. This was a muthfvcking thow down too. So no mas Sat night. SHe comes over to my hotel room to take a much needed nap on Sunday afternoon and she wears some new lingerie. My God, no sleep. Out of the question son. I burn through the other two condoms and have sweat a river all over the place. We are taking a little snoozer when starts playing with him, again. I end up having to throw it between her tits and using her face as a LZ. I said to her, baby, my **** is spitting out dust, I am finished.

Crocodiles, Monkeys, Lingerie. My dicck is spitting out dust, How was your Weekend?
 
give her the landshark!


The Landshark
The woman braces herself facing a wall, naked, hands against the wall, legs spread, bent over so that her ass is lusciously jutting out. (hint: She might want to wear a biking helmet and some rollerblading wrist guards to avoid serious injury.) Next, the guy also naked as well as stiff cocked, walks to the opposite end of the room, places his palms together and raises them above his head, (thus imitating the dorsal fin of a shark) and begins chanting the theme to Jaws. When given some predetermined signal, the guy sprints toward the girl at full speed with his pelvis-out, fin protruding, and rams her dead square in the ass.
 
Ubiquitous said:
yup

hey get a training log going goddamn it!

I will. I have to get out of the country for 72 hours this weekend. It sucks because it takes away mucho tiempo for my landshark-dirty sanchez-rusty trombone time. Oh well.

>I will get a log up soon.
 
Ubiquitous said:
oh don't make me.. it's the most heinous act in all the named sexual acts.

Can you describe it with food instead of body parts??
 
Bum-shaped cake slides up to turkey (which resembles female genitalia, more notably the vagina) and deposits a large chocolate bar inside the orifice of the turkey.. Bum-shaped cake quakes with delight as sopping, nut-filled chocolate bar slides deep inside the orifice.

Space Docking
 
Ubiquitous said:
Bum-shaped cake slides up to turkey (which resembles female genitalia, more notably the vagina) and deposits a large chocolate bar inside the orifice of the turkey.. Bum-shaped cake quakes with delight as sopping, nut-filled chocolate bar slides deep inside the orifice.

Space Docking

MMMMmmmmm...... Thanksgiving on acid while watching Spacedicck 2001.
 
The Russians are on to you Ubi. Watch your ass. hehe


Cargo ship docks securely after glitch
Officials: Three-man crew aboard the space station was never endangered
Image: international space station
The antenna on the Progress M-58 spacecraft apparently failed to fold, keeping the cargo ship from hooking up fully with the international space station.


MOSCOW - An unmanned Russian supply ship successfully latched onto the international space station Thursday after an earlier attempt failed, an official said.

“The repeat attempt to hook up the ship with the station has been a success,” Mission Control spokesman Valery Lyndin told The Associated Press.

A faulty antenna apparently prevented an unmanned Russian cargo ship from mooring completely to the international space station Thursday, but the three-man crew was never in any danger, Mission Control said.
Story continues below ↓ advertisement

The antenna on the Progress M-58 spacecraft apparently failed to fold, keeping the ship from hooking up fully on its initial attempt, said Mission Control spokesman Valery Lyndin.

The ship is delivering fresh fruit and vegetables, compact discs and DVDs and other gifts to the station's current crew, U.S. astronaut Michal Lopez-Alegria, Russian cosmonaut Mikhail Tyrin and German Thomas Reiter.

Also aboard the ship are meals prepared by chef Alain Ducasse including caponata, a Sicilian dish made of peppers, tomatoes and zucchini; roasted quails in a wine sauce from France's Madiran region; smooth celery root puree with nutmeg; and rice pudding with preserved fruit.

Equipment for repairing a Russian-built Elektron oxygen generator, which overheated last month, spreading burnt-rubber smell and leaking potassium hydroxide, is included in the shipment.

While the incident forced the crew to don masks and gloves in the first emergency ever declared aboard the 8-year-old orbiting outpost, Russian and U.S. space officials downplayed it, saying crew members' lives were never in any danger.
 
This has got to be the funniest fvcking thread ever. Bro i hate you i hope you know that!!! :lol: This is hilarious i swear.
 
First of all, who gave this a 5 star rating... Thanks, I will blow you later. LOL

Secondly, if I was you guys, I would ban me or nominate me for most hated man. Let me tell you what I am doing today...

I am about to go across the street. I am purchasing three three paks of condoms. I am going to Atenas to see my girl, and I am not leaving exxxcpet to go to her house and eat the meals she has cooked for me. SO I can have the strength to back and attack her all over again. I will be doing this for the next 36 hours straight. I imagine I can almost cut all cardio out of my work out plan. I really love the screaming in Spanish!

Chemically, I will be taking a little bit more of the weekend warrior erectile disfunction (36 hour medicine) to give her that extra bit of unable to walk right until next weekend. Although, I am sure the 750 mgs of test would have been PLENTY!! hehehee.

On to training, I was really weakened for almost a whole week by a nasty cold. That ****e was so last week, hehe. I am feeling much stronger and healthier now. Between lifting, cardio, and abs, I was at the gym intensly for two hours last night. I felt like the million dollar man too. I had only lost a little strength endurence, maybe a couple of reps. I made sure I lifted legs too so I have mega blood flow there for my weekends cardio/fvcking massacre. Fvcking success, should't be left in the hands or fvcking amatuers. hehe Jayhawwk.

Next week I think I will be right back where I was before I got really sick. ( In the body, the brain was long gone!) I have been able to cut out some starches, and have been able to add in a little more protein. I may be able to afford a 5 lb jug of whey, watch out! Three scoops a day right now would be ideal. I am thinking of just spreading them out across the day, 1 in AM, 1 post excercise, 1 pre bed. Along with my 250 grams of solid protein. MMMMMmmmmmm....

Think I will have to head down south and give this girl a surprise protein stash!!! My life is great.

My fantasy football team is tied for number 1, and I am going against number two. It will be a tough fight. I hope to stay on top of the world baby. Have a great weekend AM, wish you were here.

:bow28:
 
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Beowulf again.

I think I like giving it to you already.... hum. :jaw:
 
Moti by tall Sugar Cane of Costa-Rican Passion, I may be coming to join you this summer to work on a Sea-Turtle reserve if all goes well!

Keep your eyes crossed
 
:toofunny:

This thread is awesome! Go Motiv8!!!!
(Although - not nearly as scary as the vicious Chicken of Bristol - aka the "LakeMountD out with his boyz thread". Speaking of - I need to go bump that.)
 
Hey fellas,

I don't have much energy right now. I think medically speaking you could say I was DRAINED. I nutted 7 times in 24 hours. I am not saying that makes me Peter North by any means my fiends, but I felt 28 going on 58 when I got home last night. I AM NOT COMPLAINING. I feel like I took too much of an AI and I am holy bat dung drained.

I swear, this woman only wants to cook the most incredible meals for me so I can beat the everloving ****e out of her. Its almost twisted. I really like her. How do you know when you've met your mate? Beowulf?

I will update more from work... but wow. If my penis could move right now it would be giving me a high five!

:pose:
 
motiv8er said:
How do you know when you've met your mate? Beowulf?
Sounds corny, but I honestly think I knew within the first 1-2 weeks. I really knew when we ran into an immigration issue, and it came to taking it to the next level or bye forever.

I had to rush, b/c the issue arose suddenly. You do not. Take your time for the rest of the year, and enjoy :D
 
Yeppers I knew within the first day or two. We moved in together on day 3



Motivater I KNEW if I studied this thread long enough I could find fault with it and you.

You said you bought 3 condums for 36 hours now I know you are a light weight

Cuff's thread was the KING of the mountain but the king is dead long live King Motiv8ter.

All kidding aside Motiv8ter I hope you are treating her kindly she sounds like a wonderful person.

So let's see that is Beowolf, me and Motiv8er with wives/gf's from South America. ANyone else? This actually goes back to the thread about men becoming more wussy. Women in South America are still women. They are at ease with being a women and like it. Don't mess with them or treat them bad or you will find out they can fight back REAL good.

But they are not like US women, they do not feel the need to establish their equality because they already know who they are and don't need to prove anything. :)


CROWLER
 
Beowulf said:
Sounds corny, but I honestly think I knew within the first 1-2 weeks. I really knew when we ran into an immigration issue, and it came to taking it to the next level or bye forever.

I had to rush, b/c the issue arose suddenly. You do not. Take your time for the rest of the year, and enjoy :D

Thank you my Obi-One-Cricket. I have plenty of time. I am in no rush for anything. I have to repeat this outloud, I have never had a woman make me so happy. Amazing......
 
Ubiquitous said:
Yeah, I knew within the first hour. Corny but true.

Hey U,

I am actually asking seriously, How did you know in one hour? I don't think its corny holmes... It just seems like one hour is a little fast for me! I am maybe on the two-to-four year plan! And then maybe, only maybe we'll buy a DVD together or something!
 
CROWLER said:
Yeppers I knew within the first day or two. We moved in together on day 3



Motivater I KNEW if I studied this thread long enough I could find fault with it and you.

You said you bought 3 condums for 36 hours now I know you are a light weight

Cuff's thread was the KING of the mountain but the king is dead long live King Motiv8ter.

All kidding aside Motiv8ter I hope you are treating her kindly she sounds like a wonderful person.

So let's see that is Beowolf, me and Motiv8er with wives/gf's from South America. ANyone else? This actually goes back to the thread about men becoming more wussy. Women in South America are still women. They are at ease with being a women and like it. Don't mess with them or treat them bad or you will find out they can fight back REAL good.

But they are not like US women, they do not feel the need to establish their equality because they already know who they are and don't need to prove anything. :)


CROWLER

Sorry for the confusion Crowler, it was three , three packs. Nine condoms total. I went through 7 in 24 hours. I am sincere. Perhaps sincerely perveted too, to keep the discussion fair.

I think you may have hit it on the head too Crowler, as far as the equality or knowing there place with the relationship. Not being sexist at all, but I am certain our need for equality is the reason we have so many doomed relationships in the US. Two heads butting as one? No wonder it doesn't work. I swear I could almost hear her whisper to me, you be the man, I'll be your woman.

Its almost like shes having to reteach me what is needed to be the man in a relationship, I have been so watered down by our North American Standard.
 
Ubiquitous said:
Yeah, I knew within the first hour. Corny but true.
Was that the first hour you physically "met" Beelz, or was it the first hour you internet "met" him? :nutkick:
 
CROWLER said:
Don't mess with them or treat them bad or you will find out they can fight back REAL good.
Damn right brother! Treat them well and they will treat you incredibly well. Cross them and...well, I'd rather not say... :ntome:
 
motiv8er said:
Hey U,

I am actually asking seriously, How did you know in one hour? I don't think its corny holmes... It just seems like one hour is a little fast for me! I am maybe on the two-to-four year plan! And then maybe, only maybe we'll buy a DVD together or something!

My wife is the most loving/unique/compassionate/gorgeous and amazing person I've ever known. It took me all but an hour to realize that I had to be with her for life.

That was almost 5 years ago.. still think the same way. I'm a very lucky person in many ways, and this one is surely one of them.
 
Beowulf said:
Damn right brother! Treat them well and they will treat you incredibly well. Cross them and...well, I'd rather not say... :ntome:

She has a jealousy in her that is unlike any woman I have ever dated. I believe it is protective more than insecurity too. I wouldn't fvck with me!
 
Ubiquitous said:
My wife is the most loving/unique/compassionate/gorgeous and amazing person I've ever known. It took me all but an hour to realize that I had to be with her for life.

That was almost 5 years ago.. still think the same way. I'm a very lucky person in many ways, and this one is surely one of them.

You are a very lucky man. I have never been able to decide I want anything that much, damnit! You know my degree is in acting, right? Just fvcking pretty cattle... you know the drill.
 
jmh80 said:
I thought Beo's wife was Asian??

I am almost 100% she is South American. 99.999988766, you can't even argue with me certain. I will let him give finality though.
 
Back
Top