Online Dating ?

[ReaperX]

One of my buddies stopped by my place yesterday and somehow the topic got to 'online dating'. I think this was after I told him about my story last Friday (reference: In my X-Factor log).

Anyways, he's got Jay Cutler genetics, and basically built like him, but a nerd like McLovin off of Superbad. Also too he posses very poor social and interpersonal skills.

He was telling me about how he has been checking out some of the dating sites online and has been actively using them. He was talking to me about this for a good 40 minutes.

I don't have any grudge against online dating by any means, but just hearing about it was making me really uncomfortable. There is just something that does not sit well with me about 'meeting' someone online then 'meeting' them in person. I think I'd rather just go up to a random girl in the gym instead.


What's your experience with online dating (if you have any) ?

Don't be shy. Discuss.

 

[Ripped1]

Before I met my wife I was on an on line dating site. Man it was great, I was getting all kinds of dates and it was just something to do. I encourage all my friends to do it. Easiest way to get a date. I found after talking a couple times that most women wanted to meet. What happened after that is my secret. Some weeks I would have 3 dates lined up. In fact the night I met my wife I had to cancel a date. I say greatest thing to man kind ever invented.

I had a friend stop by the other day and said he goes on this site

hotornot.com man it was a riot he is actually dating women there.

 

[jonny21]

I've had one or two "one night stands" via online introduction. I've also had a horror show where a chick posted a picture from her days as a Triathlete but that was 110lbs ago, lol

I do not like to approach woman in my gym. It feels like trying to pick up woman in church. Hmmm, maybe I take my time in the gym too seriously but I do not get as much time there as I once did and hate to waste it. Besides, there are plenty of woman in the supermarket

 

[tattoopierced1]

just another means to an end.. no big deal here.

 

[dsade]

just another means to an end.. no big deal here.

Yep, just another avenue to communication, that's all.

If you are seriously looking for a mate, then it actually forces you to deal with the personality and substance of communication FIRST, then worry about the physical later. While both are important, the physical attraction does tend to fade slightly just from familiarity, which mostly leaves personality/intellectual compatibility left to make something work.

 

[ReaperX]

Yep, just another avenue to communication, that's all.

If you are seriously looking for a mate, then it actually forces you to deal with the personality and substance of communication FIRST, then worry about the physical later. While both are important, the physical attraction does tend to fade slightly just from familiarity, which mostly leaves personality/intellectual compatibility left to make something work.

It reminds me of online shopping in a sense. Everyone on the sites is looking to meet people, and you can 'shop' for mates...per se.

 

[ReaperX]

can't believe this thread was looked at 55 times and only 4 ppl responded.

 

[crader]

Well I met my DH online. It gave me a chance to get to know him and get through some of the akward stages. It also made me more comfortable when we met in person. I felt like I already knew him and so the nervousness was cut down.

 

[Dr Packenwood]

I'm on the fence. No experience but know people that have had. A lot of people are less than honest in real life, and teh intertoobs gives people another means to deceive. Not everyone though.

Personally I'd rather meet someone IRL. I enjoy smiling at a girl to have her smile back. I like reading the body language, and attempting to lure one in. Hell, meeting women isn't as hard as some guys think. At one point it was like having the fish jumping in the boat. Granted, alot of them were bottom feeders and got thrown back, but the woman I'm with now is one of the greatest people I've ever met.

RapperX is your boy shy? If he's really shy it might be a problem IRL, but once he gets a feel for it, its easy. I've been an introvert nearly my whole life, but as soon as you can let go of worrying about rejection your whole world opens up. Not just about snagging women either. (And I don't mean men, but other opportunities arise)

 

[Dr Packenwood]

In addendum, I'd like that picture of GW pimping the CEL products plz.

 

[ReaperX]

I'm on the fence. No experience but know people that have had. A lot of people are less than honest in real life, and teh intertoobs gives people another means to deceive. Not everyone though.

Personally I'd rather meet someone IRL. I enjoy smiling at a girl to have her smile back. I like reading the body language, and attempting to lure one in. Hell, meeting women isn't as hard as some guys think. At one point it was like having the fish jumping in the boat. Granted, alot of them were bottom feeders and got thrown back, but the woman I'm with now is one of the greatest people I've ever met.

RapperX is your boy shy? If he's really shy it might be a problem IRL, but once he gets a feel for it, its easy. I've been an introvert nearly my whole life, but as soon as you can let go of worrying about rejection your whole world opens up. Not just about snagging women either. (And I don't mean men, but other opportunities arise)

Yeah he is shy. He is also socially awkward and his personality is just plain off too. Not in a good way either. I think a lot of it has to do with the way he was raised and living in a tiny isolated town with a population of 100 and nothing but country land.

There's nothing being wrong with being introverted, but some social skills IMO, you either have or don't have, introverted or not.

I just told him to walk around everywhere he goes without his shirt on, since he has chiseled abs and very chiseled physique, kinda like Jay Cutler, but not nearly as large, then girls will come to him. He dosen't think that's a good idea.

 

[ReaperX]

Well I met my DH online. It gave me a chance to get to know him and get through some of the akward stages. It also made me more comfortable when we met in person. I felt like I already knew him and so the nervousness was cut down.

DH ? dental hygienist ?

 

[CROWLER]

just another means to an end.. no big deal here.

BINGO!

Important thing is to be upfront and honest with what you are looking for.

No reason to be politically correct and say you are ok with someone being overweight if you are not.

You need to say what you want and what you do NOT want in your ad. This is the same with the first talk on the phone. Would you be insulted if the other person asked you to take a pic from THAT day and email it to you?

Then you should feel comfortable doing the same. If you do NOT want children then for heavens sake talk about it on the phone, dont' wait until the first date to ask, you just waste their time and yours.

Do I have personal experience? Ah yea, met my wife online and are HAPPILY married. :djparty:


CROWLER

 

[Dr Packenwood]

Yeah he is shy. He is also socially awkward and his personality is just plain off too. Not in a good way either. I think a lot of it has to do with the way he was raised and living in a tiny isolated town with a population of 100 and nothing but country land.

There's nothing being wrong with being introverted, but some social skills IMO, you either have or don't have, introverted or not.

I just told him to walk around everywhere he goes without his shirt on, since he has chiseled abs and very chiseled physique, kinda like Jay Cutler, but not nearly as large, then girls will come to him. He dosen't think that's a good idea.

Tell him if he changes his attitude THEY WILL come to him.
I'm no Derek Jeter, but once I started dating srsly out of highschool, I have only ever asked for a phone number 4 times. The others were given to me, with out me even asking.

One of the biggest things you can do for a woman, is let her catch you looking at her. Looking...not staring. Then look away a little slower than you would if someone caught you looking at their ass. Don't be all over her. This will raise her curiosity a bit and she'll either be looking back at you, or she'll leave with her dyke on a bike girlfriend.

Then, on the 3rd-ish attempt you smile. If she looks down, she'll look back up. Thats a go. She should smile somewhere in between. If she looks to the side, there's something up. Approach with caution.

Here's an example of how just a little bit of unthreatening attention can go along way...

One night at a club, these 2 girls were being chased literally, by a hoard of losers. At one point she got sick of them trying to hand her drinks, grabbing at her, trying to talk to her etc, she walks over to me with her friend (she caught me looking at them a few times throughout the night as was mentioned previously) she puts her arms around me as said "Do you want my boy friend to kick your ass?" Her friend just kind of stood next to me, smiled and didn't say much. (One of the guys came up to me and congratulated me on such a hot girlfriend later on.)

Then, I leaned into her a little and told her "You better kiss me if you want them to believe it." Just that little bit of cornyness was enough for her to give me her number without asking, but we had a good time the rest of the night just bs'ing and doing nothing. No pressure, and I let her come to me, which she did. All I had to do was stand there in a sexy blue shirt and a beer in my hand, laughing with my boys. We had people hanging out with us to see what was so entertaining. We were the fun people in the club that night and it showed.

Either way, don't approach with intent. Tell your buddy to be the happy guy, not the guy looking for a woman. A guy looking for a woman is desperate. A happy guy is someone fun to be around.

Women aren't complicated, they are just misunderstood in my opinion.

 

[thesinner]

I've never used an on-line dating site, but I've made plans and followed through on the date with people I haven't seen in a long time via various internet communications.

As the other's said, it's just another means of communication. Personally, I'm a lot more relaxed talking to a pretty lady when she's represented as a box full of text on the computer screen, as opposed to in person. I'm not a fat penguin; I'm not good at breaking the ice.

 

[Iron Warrior]

I used it for a few months. I tried yahoo personals and match.com. I think yahoo personals is inferior to match.com so I'd recommend that site. Don't let him limit himself by distance. Most of the women that were my type lived either 45-60 miles north and south from my location so I always had quality options as long as I was willing to travel a little.

Tell him to get his feet wet with some average chicks that will do some wild sexual things so he can be ready for the hotties in a few months. My uncle taught me that and he is by far the greatest pick up artist I've seen from all the people I know. One thing I noticed about my uncle was that he could get chicks in any setting, even if they were in a group or alone. It was weird watching him do that at first but it helped me a lot. Have him hang around people who are good at picking up women for a while.

 

[ReaperX]

I used it for a few months. I tried yahoo personals and match.com. I think yahoo personals is inferior to match.com so I'd recommend that site. Don't let him limit himself by distance. Most of the women that were my type lived either 45-60 miles north and south from my location so I always had quality options as long as I was willing to travel a little.

Tell him to get his feet wet with some average chicks that will do some wild sexual things so he can be ready for the hotties in a few months. My uncle taught me that and he is by far the greatest pick up artist I've seen from all the people I know. One thing I noticed about my uncle was that he could get chicks in any setting, even if they were in a group or alone. It was weird watching him do that at first but it helped me a lot. Have him hang around people who are good at picking up women for a while.

Someone was telling me that the free sites were better than the paying sites ? (yahoo personals vs. match.com) This is because the paying sites only care about your money and not actually matching you up per se ?

 

[RenegadeRows]

Lots of people I know have met people from the internet, including me.

The fact is in real life, lots of people are married, or dont want a relationship. At least on the online sites, everyone is looking. It's like a big giant singles club.

It eliminates the awkward moment when a woman holds up her ring finger, hah.

 

[RenegadeRows]

Someone was telling me that the free sites were better than the paying sites ? (yahoo personals vs. match.com) This is because the paying sites only care about your money and not actually matching you up per se ?

Yahoo dating site is free, but you cant contact the other person unless one of you is paying. Otherwise you just send corny pre-made messages like "What's up, I like your profile" back and forth. They try to hook you that way to pay for it, if you see somebody you like, you say "I wanna contact this girl" but you cant unless u pay.

So you just tell the girl "I signed up for this just so I could talk to you" the rest is history

 

[Gtarzan81]

have your friend go here:
Amazon.com: Rules of the Game: Neil Strauss: Books

Have him read that book. It will do wonders for his game.

 

[dsade]

have your friend go here:
http://www.amazon.com/Rules-Game-Neil-Strauss/dp/0061540455/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1204293227&sr=8-1

Have him read that book. It will do wonders for his game.

Douchebag-in-training?

 

[SilentBob187]

have your friend go here:
http://www.amazon.com/Rules-Game-Neil-Strauss/dp/0061540455/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1204293227&sr=8-1

Have him read that book. It will do wonders for his game.

The Big Ninja PUA chiming in? Nice.

 

[Gtarzan81]

Douchebag-in-training?

Hey now,Dsade, you could really hurt some feelings with those kinda words

It's a cool book, and has missions and stuff to improve your social skills, with the ladies and otherwise. If my post was a bit too strong, then maybe its my passion for seeing guys improve their lives, especially with girls.

P.S. I do have a copy of said book.

 

[pantera101]

Anyways, he's got Jay Cutler genetics, and basically built like him,

Well theirs your problem,he's blocky,with funky abs/gut,and gh jaw.Anyways i have been single for a while and don't do anything.Sometimes i think i should,but other times i think if it's meant to be it will happen.I see so many couples that should not be together,and i don't want to be one of them cause of fear of being alone again.I think some try too hard to make something happen as opposed to letting it happen,but don't take my advice.I have been single for 6 years and i am 22.

 

[ReaperX]

Well theirs your problem,he's blocky,with funky abs/gut,and gh jaw.Anyways i have been single for a while and don't do anything.Sometimes i think i should,but other times i think if it's meant to be it will happen.I see so many couples that should not be together,and i don't want to be one of them cause of fear of being alone again.I think some try too hard to make something happen as opposed to letting it happen,but don't take my advice.I have been single for 6 years and i am 22.

Me and him lift a lot, and I told him if he doesn't have a hot girlfriend like the next guy, he might as well be atleast f'ing bigger than the other guy.

He is extremely dense and his genetics are extremely good. About as perfectly meso as you can get.

 

[Iron Warrior]

Someone was telling me that the free sites were better than the paying sites ? (yahoo personals vs. match.com) This is because the paying sites only care about your money and not actually matching you up per se ?

Yahoo and match aren't free but I haven't heard of any free dating web sites. It can't hurt to try it if it's free. Matching up just really comes down to knowing what type of woman you want and knowing how to attract her IMO.

 

[RenegadeRows]

Matching up just really comes down to knowing what type of woman you want and knowing how to attract her IMO.

Nicely put.

 

[sdmf45]

Me and him lift a lot, and I told him if he doesn't have a hot girlfriend like the next guy, he might as well be atleast f'ing bigger than the other guy.

He is extremely dense and his genetics are extremely good. About as perfectly meso as you can get.

kinda going on about this man's body a little much, don't you think?!?!?! :think:

anyways being big and ripped or walkin around without your shirt on doesn't matter....being able to talk to or get girls has nothing to do with being in shape or not.

i've seen alot of guys that aren't in shape get real nice girls.

 

[pantera101]

i've seen alot of guys that aren't in shape get real nice girls.

So true.Just take notice when in public,you see it all the time,but most guys are out of shape or average,so the women don't have much of a choice.It seems hot women are average though,atleast in Tx.Also notice(and i know ya'll have)the hot women with average men at best,and i mean at best in porn,they just don't care about looks as much as guys do.I do love it when the female of a obvious couple is checking me out behind her bf's back.It's like yeah,you have her,but she wants me when it comes to fun time.

 

[Mrs. Gimpy!]

never tried it, so i couldnt say. met my other half before online dating was popular