RenegadeRows
Well-known member
That's actually pretty good advice/
Mashed Needs help on getting over his wife
- Thread starter MashedPotato
- Start date
That's actually pretty good advice/
SamBoz19
Well-known member
Don't beat yourself up!
I do understand the heartbreak and it sucks to be in your position. However, I am not one to give you a fake nonchalant I'm sorry approach (no offense to anyone, but that sh*t gets old real fast). I'll put it to you like this. Your young, your obviously into bodybuilding if your a member of this board and you have to realize no woman on this planet is worth putting yourself through the pain you feel right now. I'm dealing with my own personal issues helping my older brother through a divorce right now (he is an emotional mess right now) so believe me, I hear where your coming from bud. Besides I've had my own run ins with heartbreak.
Since thinking about your wife is going to do you no bit of good because you are only going to be thinking of jealous thoughts, or negative thoughts in general try to focus your mind on logic and not emotion. Yes I know its easier said than done, but the point is...it can be done!
The first thing I suggest to you...focus on living for yourself and develop an independence you never thought possible. Secondly, focus all of the negativity that surrounds you into bodybuilding...use it as fuel for aggression to become the absolute best you can be because in the end that negativity will turn into positivity. Thirdly, get it in your head and come to grips that you are better off without her and she did not deserve you! Furthermore, to quote Jerry Stiller "*****es Be Crazy, now get out there and crush yourself some new pussy!"
.
You have to develop yourself a strong foundation of loving yourself man and not needing a woman. Let reciprocated love find you because in due time it will. The more you long for it or want it the less likely you are to find it and have it.
I give you this advice because I've dealt with my share of heartbreaks and dealt with the repercussions of sexual addiction and let me tell you bodybuilding is what changed my life because bodybuilding is not just a hobby, or something you do...it is a way of life! Through bodybuilding I have learned to overcome the weak side of emotion and learn to love myself to the point where I don't need the love of woman, but rather want it at some point in time. Other things take precedence first though! At the same time I always look at it as if its in the cards it is, if it isn't then so what its not going to stop me from getting the most out of life I can. Nuff said! Hopefully what I have shared with you and said can not only help you out and make you feel better, but also give you motivation to strive for more than complacency. Take care bud and do what you have to do for you to make yourself happy! If you ever need advice, or just someone to talk to my pm box is always available...
-Sean-
Hey guys,
As some of you may know things have happened between me and my wife. Without going into details, how the hell do you get over someone you love who doesnt love you back.
This is driving me crazy, everything in our home reminds me of her, everything i do, i see or hear. Shes now having feelings for a mutual friend of ours, we hadnt even split up, so this is real hard on me. I know where she is right at this moment, in a hotel, in the same bed, and kissing this guy.
I need help. This is hard guys. Real hard.
Thanks guys
I do understand the heartbreak and it sucks to be in your position. However, I am not one to give you a fake nonchalant I'm sorry approach (no offense to anyone, but that sh*t gets old real fast). I'll put it to you like this. Your young, your obviously into bodybuilding if your a member of this board and you have to realize no woman on this planet is worth putting yourself through the pain you feel right now. I'm dealing with my own personal issues helping my older brother through a divorce right now (he is an emotional mess right now) so believe me, I hear where your coming from bud. Besides I've had my own run ins with heartbreak.
Since thinking about your wife is going to do you no bit of good because you are only going to be thinking of jealous thoughts, or negative thoughts in general try to focus your mind on logic and not emotion. Yes I know its easier said than done, but the point is...it can be done!
The first thing I suggest to you...focus on living for yourself and develop an independence you never thought possible. Secondly, focus all of the negativity that surrounds you into bodybuilding...use it as fuel for aggression to become the absolute best you can be because in the end that negativity will turn into positivity. Thirdly, get it in your head and come to grips that you are better off without her and she did not deserve you! Furthermore, to quote Jerry Stiller "*****es Be Crazy, now get out there and crush yourself some new pussy!"
.You have to develop yourself a strong foundation of loving yourself man and not needing a woman. Let reciprocated love find you because in due time it will. The more you long for it or want it the less likely you are to find it and have it.
I give you this advice because I've dealt with my share of heartbreaks and dealt with the repercussions of sexual addiction and let me tell you bodybuilding is what changed my life because bodybuilding is not just a hobby, or something you do...it is a way of life! Through bodybuilding I have learned to overcome the weak side of emotion and learn to love myself to the point where I don't need the love of woman, but rather want it at some point in time. Other things take precedence first though! At the same time I always look at it as if its in the cards it is, if it isn't then so what its not going to stop me from getting the most out of life I can. Nuff said! Hopefully what I have shared with you and said can not only help you out and make you feel better, but also give you motivation to strive for more than complacency. Take care bud and do what you have to do for you to make yourself happy! If you ever need advice, or just someone to talk to my pm box is always available...
-Sean-
RenegadeRows
Well-known member
good advice sean. time to take care of yourself mashed
crader
Board Sponsor
If she is so deluded that she thinks you should come home to her I would either leave if you don't want the house in the divorce. Or throw her stuff out. She will not be allowed on the property until the courts determine the division of property.
Get a lawyer, people seldom change, if she cheated once it will always be a possibility. You can leave abd find someone better after time heals. Think about it like this. If she does have a form of mania, would you ever want kids with her? Even if that does not get passed down to the kids ( which it can) Do you want them to be hurt by her irrational manner?
I understand how hard it is to walk away from someone you love, someone you want to be able to fix. But it really is better for you. You deserve better! You seem like a genuinely good guy. Sadly things like this happen to all of us. I'm divorced myself. Now I don't think sleeping around is going to make it right. But otherwise everyones advice is right on. Think hard about what you really want your future to be like!
Get a lawyer, people seldom change, if she cheated once it will always be a possibility. You can leave abd find someone better after time heals. Think about it like this. If she does have a form of mania, would you ever want kids with her? Even if that does not get passed down to the kids ( which it can) Do you want them to be hurt by her irrational manner?
I understand how hard it is to walk away from someone you love, someone you want to be able to fix. But it really is better for you. You deserve better! You seem like a genuinely good guy. Sadly things like this happen to all of us. I'm divorced myself. Now I don't think sleeping around is going to make it right. But otherwise everyones advice is right on. Think hard about what you really want your future to be like!
strategicmove
Legend
So graphic it is shattering! I get your drift!ReaperX; said:
Xodus
Well-known member
You are retarded. It takes 2 to tango. Maybe she is out on the prowl and you are just an 'object' to her too? Don't think it doesn't work that way too...
Just need to find a willing participant that is interested in some no-strings encounters, random sex with strangers is a good thing. Any woman you pull from a bar some night is probably NOT expecting a relationship out of it, you are not objectifying or degrading women in the least. Sex shouldn't cause you guilty feelings, if it does you need to re-evaluate yourself.
I wholeheartedly agree with datBtrue, find some new pvssy and move on.
Gtarzan81
Well-known member
Word.
Bum Mahoney
Member
Is she on any meds for her metal problems? I have a condition called Cyclothymia, which is a form of Bipolar disorder. It went undiagnosed for years. I never had the depression, but I was often hypo-manic. Helped in the gym, but nearly destroyed everything that mattered in my life. I never cheated, but I spent money like mad (thank you Full Tilt Poker!), and drank like no tomorrow. I am not justifying anything about what she has done/doing, there is no excuse. But she may not even realize the pain she is causing. Deep down she does, but remember, she is delusional. I might try to get her help, but I don't think I would reconcile, too much has gone on and the bridge has been destroyed. I wouldn't wish it on anyone and feel for you terribly. The folks here have offered some great advice and support, gotta love this place.
I would definitely move, at least out of the house. No way you will be able to banish the memories, good and bad. I would log everything she is/has done and get some friends to back you up on them. I hate it when I see these things happen, no one wins, at least in the short run. That said, you now DO have a fresh start and a real chance at happiness.
BTW, my younger brother suckered me into meeting with a doctor. Best thing that ever happened to me. Been on a drug called Lamictal for four years and have been a completely changed man. Never been happier, nor has my family. Hope this helps in some way. You deserve more.
Praying for peace for you....
I would definitely move, at least out of the house. No way you will be able to banish the memories, good and bad. I would log everything she is/has done and get some friends to back you up on them. I hate it when I see these things happen, no one wins, at least in the short run. That said, you now DO have a fresh start and a real chance at happiness.
BTW, my younger brother suckered me into meeting with a doctor. Best thing that ever happened to me. Been on a drug called Lamictal for four years and have been a completely changed man. Never been happier, nor has my family. Hope this helps in some way. You deserve more.
Praying for peace for you....
shaddow
Well-known member
I know this went down a month ago, but I wanted to offer my 2 cents just in case it can help.
Man, I know the feeling all too well. I've never been married, but the girl who I was certain I'd one day end up with decided it would be a better idea to hook up with some guy she met at a bar. It really messed me up bad, and if there's one piece of advice I can give you it's STOP TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF IT. Thinking too much is your enemy here. You start asking yourself all these questions -- what went wrong? and how did you deserve it? -- and the problem with that is that you probably will never find an answer. It doesn't always make sense, and it doesn't need to. Especially if she's manic! She screwed up. Bad. You don't owe her anything. Who cares how well you think you understand her. I bet you if she stopped for a second she wouldn't even be able to make sense of it. Everything happens for a reason. Try to look at it as HER LOSS - not yours. Think of this as your chance to "upgrade". You've gotta find a way to get past everything and move on with your life otherwise it can be an endless, self-torturing cycle.
Look bro, you're a young dude. 23 years old? Man, you've got a whole lot of life left to live, brother. Looking back at my failed relationship I was 22 when we broke up and on the verge of settling down, and while that's all fine and dandy, when I think about all the great things I would've missed out on these past 7 years I can't help but feel grateful that we're not together. Time heals broken hearts, and that's all it's gonna take. In the meantime you have to find a way to get past thinking about it all the time. Work on you. Hit the gym. Do your best to get into the best shape of your life. Think about all the beautiful women you now have the potential to meet and who will have the honor of hanging out with you. You might've forgotten already, but single life can be damn good too! Surround yourself with positive people and don't forget to love yourself. It's easy to fall in a rut and sit at home depressed, but that won't do you any good. Get out of the house, be active, and don't look back! It might seem tough, but you'll notice in due time that you're a lot stronger than you credit yourself for being. I hope you're doing better, and I wish you all the best, brother.
Man, I know the feeling all too well. I've never been married, but the girl who I was certain I'd one day end up with decided it would be a better idea to hook up with some guy she met at a bar. It really messed me up bad, and if there's one piece of advice I can give you it's STOP TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF IT. Thinking too much is your enemy here. You start asking yourself all these questions -- what went wrong? and how did you deserve it? -- and the problem with that is that you probably will never find an answer. It doesn't always make sense, and it doesn't need to. Especially if she's manic! She screwed up. Bad. You don't owe her anything. Who cares how well you think you understand her. I bet you if she stopped for a second she wouldn't even be able to make sense of it. Everything happens for a reason. Try to look at it as HER LOSS - not yours. Think of this as your chance to "upgrade". You've gotta find a way to get past everything and move on with your life otherwise it can be an endless, self-torturing cycle.
Look bro, you're a young dude. 23 years old? Man, you've got a whole lot of life left to live, brother. Looking back at my failed relationship I was 22 when we broke up and on the verge of settling down, and while that's all fine and dandy, when I think about all the great things I would've missed out on these past 7 years I can't help but feel grateful that we're not together. Time heals broken hearts, and that's all it's gonna take. In the meantime you have to find a way to get past thinking about it all the time. Work on you. Hit the gym. Do your best to get into the best shape of your life. Think about all the beautiful women you now have the potential to meet and who will have the honor of hanging out with you. You might've forgotten already, but single life can be damn good too! Surround yourself with positive people and don't forget to love yourself. It's easy to fall in a rut and sit at home depressed, but that won't do you any good. Get out of the house, be active, and don't look back! It might seem tough, but you'll notice in due time that you're a lot stronger than you credit yourself for being. I hope you're doing better, and I wish you all the best, brother.
Gtarzan81
Well-known member
ya. We hang out about once a week. grab food, or beers, and chill.
MashedPotato
Well-known member
Dont forget the kava
Thanks guys for all your support. If I told you half the crap thats ACTUALLY going on y'all wouldnt believe me. GT can vouch for that.
Thanks again everyone I REALLY appreciate you all for helping me through this. :wave:
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