If men wrote advice columns

[B5150]

Shared this in private and got some good laughs out of it. Plus, I can't let Beelzebub corner the market on 'funny'.

:study:

Question: My husband wants a threesome with my bestfriend and me.

Answer: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing, your bestfriend! Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, mabybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If your still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it!

Question: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.

Answer: Do it! Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day: then cook him a nice meal.

Question: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.

Answer: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it’s great time to clean the house too!). Just look at how emotional and happy heis when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he returns home is for you and your bestfriend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.

Question: My husband doesn’t know where my clitoris is.

Answer: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it do it on your own time or ask you bestfriend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to him as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal!

Question: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.

Answer: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to men is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should. He should never have to work to get you inthe mood! Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him nice meal.

Question: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one.

Answer: I’m not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you’ve forgotten to cook him a nice meal. :food:

 

[motiv8er]

Very nice...

Definatly one to save.

 

[BingeAndPurge]

Just became my forward of the week.

 

[Beelzebub]

http://www.massmuscleinc.net/forum/showthread.php?t=7624

check again bossman make sure to check the date too.

 

[B5150]

http://www.massmuscleinc.net/forum/showthread.php?t=7624

check again bossman make sure to check the date too.

You talking to me? If so, you do recall the source don't you?

 

[Beelzebub]

no, not really. memory has eluded me.

and you're still gay

 

[B5150]

no, not really. memory has eluded me.

and you're still gay

ahhh...but you can't forget your first man-love can you?:whip:

 

[Beelzebub]

ahhh...but you can't forget your first man-love can you?:whip:

i.....don't know......what you're talkin....about:ntome:

 

[EEmain]

Can`t seem to start a new thread so here...

A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts."
She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer.
When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start."
This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer. When it was gone, he said, "Quick, another beer, it's gonna start any second."
"That's it!" She blows her top, "You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave. Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?"
The husband sighed. "Oh ****, it's started"

 

[UHCougar05]

Can`t seem to start a new thread so here...

A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts."
She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer.
When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start."
This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer. When it was gone, he said, "Quick, another beer, it's gonna start any second."
"That's it!" She blows her top, "You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave. Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?"
The husband sighed. "Oh ****, it's started"

That's pretty funny. :toofunny:

 

[custom]

I rarely laugh out loud at things but EE, that had me rolling!

 

[jmh80]

Good stuff guys.

 

[B5150]

some funnies

 

[Jayhawkk]

I was looking for a second job!

 

[B5150]

Thought I would bump one from back in the day when B (gosh, he's addressing himself in the third party) was a bit more irreverent and enjoyed fun times here. I'm sure some of you boys and girls will get a chuckle from it. I know I still do.

Question: My husband wants a threesome with my bestfriend and me.

Answer: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing, your bestfriend! Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, mabybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If your still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it!

Question: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.

Answer: Do it! Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day: then cook him a nice meal.

Question: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.

Answer: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it’s great time to clean the house too!). Just look at how emotional and happy heis when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he returns home is for you and your bestfriend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.

Question: My husband doesn’t know where my clitoris is.

Answer: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it do it on your own time or ask you bestfriend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to him as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal!

Question: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.

Answer: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to men is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should. He should never have to work to get you inthe mood! Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him nice meal.

Question: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one.

Answer: I’m not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you’ve forgotten to cook him a nice meal. :food:

 

[jmh80]

Fun? Fun at AM??

What is that???
:stick:

 

[prld2gr8ns]

LOL good one man, glad you bumped it.

 

[Kris4153]

OMG thats seriously a good laugh right there!!!! I love how they all end with "performing oral sex on him and/or cooking him nice meal" everytime!! :box:

Thats the best advice i've ever seen given for female "issues"!

 

[RenegadeRows]

Lol.