Family guy mafia funny confusions thread

rtmilburn

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Thought this would be a funny thread idea! Confuss to things you've done, said, witnessed, or heard of that's would be embarrassing, FUNNY, bad a$$ or whatever the fuk you want!
 
rtmilburn

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ryane87 Juicedeez utz BEAST73 Alpha1agreda LeanEngineer coltonwalker Brandinooooo Sparkss Studhorse blueline438 lifted67 bighulksmash hairygrandpa smith_69 rtmilburn FireTitan SFreed CJNator HIT4ME wesb2387 Gutterpump Tank999 ryane87 Juicedeez utz BEAST73 Alpha1agreda coltonwalker Brandinooooo Sparkss Studhorse blueline438 Volvo140G Ag5000 lifted67 ChocolateClen justhere4comm ryane87 mmorso Brandinooooo HIT4ME NewAgeMayan hairygrandpa whoeverdafuqelseimissed[/QUOTE]
 
Alpha1a

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In to here who did what I'm sure we'll find out more of FireTitan that we don't want to know lmao
 
smith_69

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"Confuse to things you've done" think you meant confess!

lmao

rtmilburn think you get the first vote- starting a new thread without proof reading
 
rtmilburn

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"Confuse to things you've done" think you meant confess!

lmao

rtmilburn think you get the first vote- starting a new thread without proof reading
Lol fuking auto correct
 
smith_69

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well this is a good place for this

Merry Christmas everyone

Screen Shot 2016-12-23 at 8.38.34 PM.png
 
rtmilburn

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So it was pretty embarrassing 2 weeks ago at work I was replacing a lower control arm, on 04 lancer(easy fix). well they wanted pictures for insurance. Well I got under there took my phone with me. Took a pick of the control arm set my phone down. Then I got to work and totally forgot about my phone and threw a hammer on it!
 
ChocolateClen

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**** I've done.... I can't think of anything but I'll let you know when I figure it out.
 
SFreed

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Most of the really funny things I've done involve breaking some type of law (typically either Conservation laws or weapons laws) that I probably won't be sharing here!

One story that typically gets told around this time of year by my "friends" involves me being handcuffed to a fence post by a CPO so he could attempt to catch my friends. I spent almost an hour, just standing there by the side of the road, handcuffed to a fence post.
 
rtmilburn

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Most of the really funny things I've done involve breaking some type of law (typically either Conservation laws or weapons laws) that I probably won't be sharing here!

One story that typically gets told around this time of year by my "friends" involves me being handcuffed to a fence post by a CPO so he could attempt to catch my friends. I spent almost an hour, just standing there by the side of the road, handcuffed to a fence post.
Nice!
 
hairygrandpa

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Once lost a bet and had to play trumpet naked in middle of a busy crossroad.
But I can't play trumpet :(
 
justhere4comm

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Funny. Confusions. I got confused once after not sleeping for 2 weeks and 6 days. (Sleep deprivation experiment) Almost jumped off a garage roof 4 stories high.



Freaky.
 
rtmilburn

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Funny. Confusions. I got confused once after not sleeping for 2 weeks and 6 days. (Sleep deprivation experiment) Almost jumped off a garage roof 4 stories high.



Freaky.
Oh sht thats a long time without sleep. And I know I fuk up I hate auto correct "confessions" there we go
 
ChocolateClen

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Funny. Confusions. I got confused once after not sleeping for 2 weeks and 6 days. (Sleep deprivation experiment) Almost jumped off a garage roof 4 stories high.



Freaky.
No sleep or just minimal sleep? I thought 6 days without sleep and you go insane and no ones lasted more than 7 I thought
 
justhere4comm

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Oh sht thats a long time without sleep. And I know I fuk up I hate auto correct "confessions" there we go
I thought it an unofficial world record. Hospital for two weeks. Really good drugs. Apparently your body shuts down and prepares for death.

Had little food and water. At one point my waking dream was so real I could see fire everywhere and smell brimstone and sulfur. Taste it.


Would not repeat. Lol.
 
rtmilburn

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Once I got so stoned that I thought my friend was actually Jesus. I was begging for forgiveness and to let me go to heaven. Funny thing is I don't even believe in god
 
justhere4comm

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No sleep or just minimal sleep? I thought 6 days without sleep and you go insane and no ones lasted more than 7 I thought
I lost it. Paranoia. At the 5th day it was impossible to sleep. Brain doesn't realize difference between awake and sleep and your subconscious bleeds into reality. Crazy sh1t.
 
rtmilburn

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I thought it an unofficial world record. Hospital for two weeks. Really good drugs. Apparently your body shuts down and prepares for death.

Had little food and water. At one point my waking dream was so real I could see fire everywhere and smell brimstone and sulfur. Taste it.


Would not repeat. Lol.
Wow that is crazy!
 
ChocolateClen

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I lost it. Paranoia. At the 5th day it was impossible to sleep. Brain doesn't realize difference between awake and sleep and your subconscious bleeds into reality. Crazy sh1t.
I've gone 3, started random falling asleep for like 2 or 3 min. Gf at the time thought I was dying lol
 
mmorso

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About 5 or so years ago, I was taking xanax every night to help me stop drinking. Anyway, one could say that it was a "misguided effort" and my drinking never slowed down but actually increased a lil and I started partying with my xanax bars.

One morning I woke up and my wife had already gone to work. I went down stairs into the kitchen and on the counter was a piece of toast that was charred black and half eaten. I looked in the toaster and there was 2 slices of bread smashed together in a single slot, though they hadn't been toasted yet. I looked for the bread and found the loaf in the oven.

I actually thought this was my wife's doing and sent her a text message asking if she woke up hungry or something... she responded that she was running late to work that morning and didn't even have coffee... suddenly I was horrified.

I walked out of the kitchen, into the family room, and all the silverware was arranged on the floor in the middle of the room... weird sh1t
 
rtmilburn

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About 5 or so years ago, I was taking xanax every night to help me stop drinking. Anyway, one could say that it was a "misguided effort" and my drinking never slowed down but actually increased a lil and I started partying with my xanax bars.

One morning I woke up and my wife had already gone to work. I went down stairs into the kitchen and on the counter was a piece of toast that was charred black and half eaten. I looked in the toaster and there was 2 slices of bread smashed together in a single slot, though they hadn't been toasted yet. I looked for the bread and found the loaf in the oven.

I actually thought this was my wife's doing and sent her a text message asking if she woke up hungry or something... she responded that she was running late to work that morning and didn't even have coffee... suddenly I was horrified.

I walked out of the kitchen, into the family room, and all the silverware was arranged on the floor in the middle of the room... weird sh1t
Haha fuk! benzos and alcohol should never be mixed! I had a friend die due to the combo. I do have a similar experience I'll share it later about my ambien abuse
 
Alpha1a

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Haha fuk! benzos and alcohol should never be mixed! I had a friend die due to the combo. I do have a similar experience I'll share it later about my ambien abuse
No one ever died around me with those but we snorted them one time and we're drinking 151 , woke up the next morning my boy was arrested and I had no clue where I was

High school was fun lmao
 
rtmilburn

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No one ever died around me with those but we snorted them one time and we're drinking 151 , woke up the next morning my boy was arrested and I had no clue where I was

High school was fun lmao
Lol I do think his death was a rare case but it doesn't change the fact that it is dangerous. But hell they are fun! For myself highschool was mehh. I was into football and didn't party too much. soon as a graduated I turned into a animal!!!!
 
Sparkss

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Merry Christmas all. Nothing to share (yet) Subbed for the LOLz :D
 
Brandinooooo

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I got matched with a tranny on Tinder the other day. So wrong lol.
 
SFreed

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Nooooooooo



Dude. I had no idea until S/He told me. Damn thing was Post-Op. Needless to say I was seriously confused for a minute lol. Then laughed histerically.
At least you found out before.

Or did you?????
 
rtmilburn

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At least you found out before.

Or did you?????
Nothing like reaching for vag and getting a handful of penis (can't take credit for this but I don't remember who said it first)
 
Brandinooooo

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Nothing like reaching for vag and getting a handful of penis (can't take credit for this but I don't remember who said it first)
Does it still count as a penis if its not really a penis anymore? Not saying this is what happened, just curious now.
 
SFreed

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Does it still count as a penis if its not really a penis anymore? Not saying this is what happened, just curious now.
I don't think it would. What about oral??
 
Studhorse

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Nothing like reaching for vag and getting a handful of penis (can't take credit for this but I don't remember who said it first)
Studhorse. It's just a saying. I wouldn't really know.
 

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