Douchebags at the gym...

Vance

Vance

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Every gym has at least one.

At my gym he is one of these; that (Fat, lonely looking) dude who you made the mistake of acknowledging once as you walked past him (Another common mistake is trying to help someone with their form before they end up in a wheel-chair who ends up being one of these) who now just has to come up and give it the "WAZZZZZZZZZZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!?!?!?!?!" when you're on the last 2 reps of a power set. :frustrate

Or wants to come over and dribble **** about how his (Probably imaginary or inflatable) girlfriend is giving him the ****s while you're in the zone because you nodded at him once so obviously you care. Regardless of how many hints you drop the only way to get rid of this guy is to be as blunt as possible. :bryce:

So one of those episodes got me to wondering what the douchebags at your gym do to annoy/amuse you guys..?

Could be good for a laugh.
 
rubberring

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Hands down, the guy who puts 22 plates (990 lbs) on the leg press machine, grunts out what amounts to four 1.5 inch presses, and then lets the weights slam down on the locks. I asked him once if he could squat 1/3 of that. He mumbled something about a peanut and light weight.

But yeah... love that guy. Him and his size x-small Under Armour shirt.
 
BabyHulk

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I hate em when they are already blessed with genetics, diet is probably crap, and they workout for 1 hour, but really only 20 minutes is the actual workout. The other 40 they look at themselves the whole time. And the killer is they don't even break a sweat. All this while I bust my fat @ss to get in the best shape of my life.
 
Whitesnake

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I hate all of them except myself.......:afro:
 
roids1

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The guy who wears a du-rag, spandex shorts and tank top, rubs chalk all over his hands and shirt (powerlifter look) and does sets of 5 with 225, using the big rubber coated plates (2 on each side). This dude was at my gym a few years back.

Also, the gay guys that watch you udress in the locker room with no effort to be discreet and ultimately force you to wear the same sweaty boxer shorts for the rest of the day.
 
texaswolf

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We could probably pool all our experiences together and write a sitcom similar to The Office.

I would probably watch 'The Gym'.
 
Vance

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The guy who wears a du-rag, spandex shorts and tank top, rubs chalk all over his hands and shirt (powerlifter look) and does sets of 5 with 225, using the big rubber coated plates (2 on each side). This dude was at my gym a few years back.

Also, the gay guys that watch you udress in the locker room with no effort to be discreet and ultimately force you to wear the same sweaty boxer shorts for the rest of the day.
Hahahahah. I know just the type. :toofunny:

He also has to grunt like Sharapova while doing lat pulldowns with 100 lbs and always lets all the weights slam down on his final rep just to make *sure* everyone in the building knows just how much of a **** he is.
 
AlbinoRhino44

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i find it best to keep quiet and move some sick eight like its nothing. This is done after you say whats up to someone that you think will never say anyhting to you again, and they become your "buddy". they feel awfully akward and leave you alone once they see how seriously you lift. try it. usually works. or change your schedule haha
 
silverSurfer

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I'm pretty good at ignoring people. However, I will be pissed if I move on to equipment left all sweaty or with what appears to be excessive "hair product"... I don't care how ripped you are, clean after yourself!

I'm not real big and I do watch the big guys at my gym in hopes I learn a thing or two - obviously they're doing something better than me. Otherwise, I work out with my buddy and tune out everyone else.
 
bigpapa

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basically, i dont talk to anybody in my gym, cuz IMO everyone is retarded. just turn on distrubed and do my thing.

one kid, probably younger than me, actually tried to correct me on my form...i was thinking to myself u have got to be kidding me. i have the ****in stick figure telling me how to do things. so i just looked him dead in the face and said "go **** yourself".

but what really pisses me off is the people who load up like a bench or squat, and do the like 1/4 reps. yeah dude ur not bench pressing 275, ur unracking it. i also hate the gym multi-taskers...the guy who is on a machine at the other end of the gym..then when ur setting up what u need to do, he like runs over and says hey i was using that...like really dude?

and then the one thing that takes the cake in my gym..there is this short like wormy, homo that comes in wearing dolce &gabanna sunglasses, even if it is night out..but the thing is, they are WOMEN's glasses. and then hes also the guy that has all the workout "gadgets". he has like a weighted running vest and tons of other crap that he wears...but he does like nothing. i train with my dad so i actually have a competent workout partner, and i said to him one day that i just wanna punch this guy in the head so hard...and he just laughed..
 
brk_nemesis

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....lurkers.

Had a guy last week while I was doing squats, just leaning against the leg press, (which is like a foot next to the rack) and literally eyeball me for 6 sets. Any serious lifter would have asked how many sets I have left or can they work in, but nope... he just stood there for like 15 minutes, staring at me and texting.

Finally half way though I said fuk it, and asked him what his deal was.... and the skinny punk said he was waiting to do curls. HA!
 
L

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a guy that comes in my gym weighs about 180 about 30 years old tried to curl 185 jumped about 2 feet off the ground with his back arched got denied. then sit there for bout a min and did the same thing and got denied again.if i was on a prolly would have spit on him
 
jakellpet

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You guys are too funny........just lift and quit worrying about other bone-whackers:afro:
x2, although the thought of some guy anally raping me with his eyes is somewhat disturbing. .. . :paranoid:
 
rubberring

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i also hate the gym multi-taskers...the guy who is on a machine at the other end of the gym..then when ur setting up what u need to do, he like runs over and says hey i was using that...like really dude?
Ah, man... my blood pressure just surged when I read that! I hate that guy.
 
Vance

Vance

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Even worse than the homosexuals in the changeroom are the latent homosexuals who hang around the free-weights whooping & high-fiving each other and slapping each other on the ass after every set they do. Or trying to dangle their balls into each other's mouths everytime they spot one another on the bench while going, "Yeah... Yeah... Yeah... That's it! Harder! One more! Ahhhh!" :D
 
rubberring

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You guys are too funny........just lift and quit worrying about other bone-whackers:afro:
Okay that's it, 'snake. I'm driving to Sac tomorrow and finding your gym. I'm going to put on all my "gadgets," multi-task on every piece of equipment you try to use, and anally rape you with my eyes... although it'll have to be through the lenses of my lady's D&G sunglasses... but I assure you it will still creep you the phuck out nonetheless.

Actually, truth be told... I won't even stand out, huh? Don't you just love California gyms?:lol:
 
Vance

Vance

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Okay that's it, 'snake. I'm driving to Sac tomorrow and finding your gym. I'm going to put on all my "gadgets," multi-task on every piece of equipment you try to use, and anally rape you with my eyes... although it'll have to be through the lenses of my lady's D&G sunglasses... but I assure you it will still creep you the phuck out nonetheless.

Actually, truth be told... I won't even stand out, huh? Don't you just love California gyms?:lol:
You'd stand out as the 'Alpha' a la Montana's 4 metho cycle thread. :laugh2:
 
panmerc

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There's a guy where I workout that is always on the equipment I need and can't push any weight. Been there the whole time and prob not making any gains. Won't talk to you but when he looks at you he's got this stuck up look on his face. What an ***!

Wait a sec?..I work out at my house by myself..uh oh ;)
 
GetSwoll

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Yeah the best is when youre mid set and some **** starts introducing himself. Or the guy who asks you to spot him on the Smith machine. Yes, ive had people stop me mid set to ask me to spot them...on the smith.

Chicks are not exempt from this. The one who wants to take up the squat rack squatting with the bar for 30 minutes. Like damn, Just go to the db rack and do some walking lunges with the 5lb's. GTFO!
 
ConcreteConny

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x2, although the thought of some guy anally raping me with his eyes is somewhat disturbing. .. . :paranoid:
I can't stop laughing. :laugh2::lol5:
Although I'm on the same page :happysad:

//CC
 
Doogsy123

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There's these 3 Chinese guys at my gym that hog the smith machine and take turns to do countless sets of 120lbs BP.

Also anyone that uses a bosu ball - One douche stands on it to do DB curls.
 
jakellpet

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what about the chick who keeps asking to give head while you're on the BP?

FFS, can't she wait another 15 minutes?
 
Vance

Vance

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Got another one at the gym last night.

The losers (At my gym they are either asian students or ginger guys) who quite obviously join the 'yoga' (Could be any class though) class in the gym as a way to meet chicks, and who despite epic-failing every night keep going in the forlorn hope that one of the chicks falls and hits her head while pulling squatting lotus one night and then lowers her standards enough to sleep with him in the carpark.

These people are more amusing than irritating though. :D
 
jmh80

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Got another one at the gym last night.

The losers (At my gym they are either asian students or ginger guys) who quite obviously join the 'yoga' (Could be any class though) class in the gym as a way to meet chicks, and who despite epic-failing every night keep going in the forlorn hope that one of the chicks falls and hits her head while pulling squatting lotus one night and then lowers her standards enough to sleep with him in the carpark.

These people are more amusing than irritating though. :D
I resemble this post good sir!!
 
bigpapa

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they let a g-i-n-g-e-r in the gym? but..they have no soul...

i saw gadget guy last night...trying to tell an actual powerlifter how to deadlift... i wanted to swing a bar at him like a baseball bat
 
S

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oh man my gym is full of douches. We got the abercrombie and fitch kids who walk around in sandals and manage to do everything but actually lift a single weight. I remember him sitting on the only available bench trying to hit on a girl way out of his league and i waited a few minutes for him to see if he was gonna do a set or just be a douche. So i went up to him and said hey abercrombie u gonna work out or pretend like that girl gives a crap what your saying? i havent seen him sense. Then of course i can relate to the im supersetting on every piece of equipment in the gym guy. u got the girls who workout yet complain and the im gonna do 40 sets of biceps, going all gumby back with way too much weight 3x a week guys and spend my time in between sets flexing my 14in arms. These days from the time i enter the gym to the time i leave i have my ipod in full blast. When people try to talk to me i just dont acknowledge. Its like leave me the F alone im in the F'in ZONE
 
L

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I'm with SwoleT. If I don't want to be bothered in the gym, I just put on my earphones and FU face. Works everytime!
 
Z

Zero Tolerance

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In my gym, I have to put on the "**** you, I'm straight" face permanently. I even thought about making a new shirt that states this in a friendly manner.
 
WarcraftJJS

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What the color blind. Haha
 
Inarius

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old dudes blow drying their balls after they shower
dudes walking around the locker room naked for no reason...

last week in the middle of my squat sets I left the rack to put more plates on the bar and two guys stepped into my rack and started having a convo while I was loading up plates...
 
D

dave12

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I read the comments about the fr00ts and I was thinking to myself it sounds kind of passive aggressive. If I ever had some weird dude trying to check me out I'd call him on it. I would assume it would both stop the problem and dissuade it from happening again, no? A friendly "Hey a**hole can I help you with somethin?" fixes all sorts of problems. IMHO
 
rubberring

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I read the comments about the fr00ts and I was thinking to myself it sounds kind of passive aggressive. If I ever had some weird dude trying to check me out I'd call him on it. I would assume it would both stop the problem and dissuade it from happening again, no? A friendly "Hey azzhole can I help you with somethin?" fixes all sorts of problems. IMHO
I don't know... slurring your "s" like that might just encourage him. :lol:
 
Jayhawkk

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Also anyone that uses a bosu ball - One douche stands on it to do DB curls.
Although I don't use it in the gym cause it makes me look weak; it's actually a great device for core building while lifting weights.
 
bulldogz

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the guy that smells like straight swamp ass while on the treadmill...
 
rubberring

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the guy that smells like straight swamp ass while on the treadmill...
You mean the one that smells like a mixture of curry, moldy Fritos, and excrement? We must go to the same gym. How he doesn't smell it himself, I will never understand. I guess it's like a pig in sh#t.

I swear, I have this fantasy... I put on one of those white radiation suits, and even slip on some of those extra-thick rubber gloves... like the ones I clean my toilets with... and I walk right up behind the dude, have someone grasp his arms while I shirk down his pungent sweatpants... and next I run my protected backhand all up the crack of his rank buttocks, then I place my corroded glove up to his nostrils, screaming, "Smell that??!! Do you, mutherphucker??!! That's YOU!!! YOU!!!!!!!"





Ummm... okay, so... it's not really a... fantasy per se... uhhhh... hmmm... yeah...
 
bulldogz

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You mean the one that smells like a mixture of curry, moldy Fritos, and excrement? We must go to the same gym. How he doesn't smell it himself, I will never understand. I guess it's like a pig in sh#t.

I swear, I have this fantasy... I put on one of those white radiation suits, and even slip on some of those extra-thick rubber gloves... like the ones I clean my toilets with... and I walk right up behind the dude, have someone grasp his arms while I shirk down his pungent sweatpants... and next I run my protected backhand all up the crack of his rank buttocks, then I place my corroded glove up to his nostrils, screaming, "Smell that??!! Do you, mutherphucker??!! That's YOU!!! YOU!!!!!!!"


Ummm... okay, so... it's not really a... fantasy per se... uhhhh... hmmm... yeah...
bwaahaha...we prob do bro...this dude is bad...it starts smelling as soon as my man walks in the gym...
 
swollwilliams

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when i hit the gym, i put my head phones in, pull my hat down low, and look as pissed off as possible. usually does the trick in keeping the chatter boxes away..though, to the guys really getting after it, i have no problem helping out..
 
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