AM Thread #7678956 now with 150% MORE relationship groveling

[Dizmal]

CN's(if you can call them that are half way down lol)

Alright, looking for insight...

So, a quick rundown. I've been dating this woman for about 3 months now. She's 32, i'm 32 in 2 weeks. Pretty cool chick, she's funny, we have lots in common, etc. She's not all that into fitness but still pretty sexy IMO, so whatever. When we first started dating we seemed to be at the same points in our life - both single, never married, no kids, lots of failed dating/relationships in our wakes. Both tired of the dating scene and looking to settle(eventually, no rush).

So, things were going good. She was hot for the first month and a half. Then some stuff changed with her. She told me she wanted to give being friends a try. She wasn't sure what had happened and she gave me contradicting excuses. Such as - she thought I was using her for sex, and in the same conversation she stated she wasn't used to someone liking her for "her". Well WTF?! I can't possibly be using you for sex while liking you for what else you have to offer.

So I basically told her to pound sand. I know how this goes. I've played this game... We'll be friends(**** buddies) until she finds something better and then I will become irrelevant and never hear from her again. I'd rather not drag things out, especially since I have feelings for her. if I didn't like her then I would be all for a **** buddy. But I'd rather make this cut quick and clean.

Well anyway, after talking to someone close. He advised that if I really like her to leave the door open for her to come back. He said who knows what she's thinking. She just may be scared and confused. I thought it made sense, so i did just that. Let her know I don't want to lose her and I'll leave the door open. Sure as my **** stinks. She came right back around.

After coming back all hot and heavy for the first week after I decided to leave the door open for her. She cools down again. That 1st week we were sexting, sending nudes, she would tell me she misses me and is thinking of me, etc. We meet up for the first time since the "breakup" and have a great weekend. Good sex, fun conversations, just an all around good time.

Next week, no sexting, she tells me she won't send me pictures. Then proceeds to send me old ones on her phone in which she is clothed. Ok... Whatever.

I stayed over at her place 1 night that weekend, impromptu. Tried to line up a date with her for last Saturday, the Tuesday before. Well it was like pulling teeth trying to get her to give me a straight answer either way. She said she wanted to chill and take it easy that night which was cool with me. We talked about it Tues and Thurs. Both times she wasn't sure what her plan was... She was to go shopping for snow pants with a friend for a snowboard trip were taking next week. She even emailed me Friday letting me know that if I have plans to go ahead and do them and if we meet up, we meet up. Well, if I already had plans I wouldn't be trying to make them!! I don't mind if you don't want to hang out, but give a guy a friggen answer here! Throw me a fugging bone Austin Powers!!!

So FF to Saturday. I'm at a motorcycle show with some buddy's, she calls at 3pm... She didn't buy snow pants. Instead her and her friend bought vibrators and make it to the bar for a late lunch and drinks with her friend(taking it easy as she said)... Well we eventually meet up with them. Long story short, we go back to her place by 9pm cause she's too tipsy to make it much longer anywhere else.



But uh, before I write a small novel here I'll try to get to the point...

CN's;

My main complaint with her is that there is NO ****ING CONSISTANCY here!!! She was telling me she wanted to buy a house this summer. Well, instead she plans 2 road trips to see Dave Mathews Band this summer and fall and is now strapped for cash the whole summer. Which is why she said she wanted to lay low this last weekend. What happens? She goes out Friday Night and is piss drunk by 9 Saturday.

So sweet, I can't plan on doing any fun vacations with her cause she's going to be a groupy.

I don't mind road tripping for concerts. God knows it's a blast! But I did that **** 10 years ago. I'd still do it now! But if my main priority was getting my life on track I would pass. I'd love to go to Colorado for a week to go snowboarding this winter. But I need to pay off debt instead. Sucks. but it's just what I have to do and I AM doing it.

She tells me she wants a relationship and then pulls back, comes back around and then simmers down again. She used to ask me to hang out all the time. Now, not so much.

She is hot one week and cold the next.



I'm begining to feel like I'm waisting my time here. I'm spinning my wheels and getting nowhere. Her only consistancy is being inconsistant. With how she says she feels to what she says she is doing with herself and her life. I thought we were on the same page, but now it doesn't seem so...

Kind of tired of putting in the effort and not getting much back in return. Like busting your ass on a bulk for 3 months only to gain 3lbs. It's enough to make a guy cry! lol :shhh:

Ladies, what's your take on this behavior? Guys, would you put up with this? Not sure if I'm over reacting but god damn people I want to date a woman who knows what she wants and knows how to get it. Who does what she says she is going to do. Not someone who is full of ****. I don't think that's unreasonable. I feel like I'm too old for this type of crap...

Sorry for the wall of text but holy **** I feel better!!!:trout:

 

[suncloud]

sounds like she's enthralled with the idea of settling, but not really ready to commit. sadly, a pretty common thing. i'd keep the "friendship" thing open for the "benefits" but i wouldn't be hanging around waiting for a commitment that may not appear for a year or two. also, IMO she may be playing the field, so why should you limit yourself if she won't?

 

[Dizmal]

sounds like she's enthralled with the idea of settling, but not really ready to commit. sadly, a pretty common thing. i'd keep the "friendship" thing open for the "benefits" but i wouldn't be hanging around waiting for a commitment that may not appear for a year or two. also, IMO she may be playing the field, so why should you limit yourself if she won't?

Well, there's the rub. I'm all for "friendships" with "benefits" when there are no feelings and the lines have been set that it is sexuall only.

But, now I have feelings for this chick. I'd be thinking(hoping) in the back of my mind that she'll come around and commit fully.

She may be playing the field, although she says she's trying to figure out how to be with the guy she wants. which is me apparently... Never knew you would have to try hard when you first start dating, but whatever. The relationships that came easy failed also, so what can I say?

But mainly, I'm tired of that light dating/**** buddy ****. I've sown my fair share of oats and now I'm looking for somethign more. I thought this one was at that same spot in life. but maybe not... I'm just at the point where I'm wondering if I should just give up and move on or stick with it for the small hope that as you say. In a year she'll be ready to settle down. But I have a strong expectation of how I should be treated and when I'm not treated that way I get pretty pissed off. Then I just want to walk away.

 

[suncloud]

well here's the problem. at that age (32) and having commitment issues and her wanting to be with you, your option is she's a borderline, or commitment-phobe, or she's looking for someone else.

if we rule out option 3, you're either going to have to break down option 2, or read up on option 1 and see if this applies to your girl. i'm in a relationship with a borderline (and have been for 5 years). i can tell you the sex is the best, but the mood swings will take serious gouges out of your ego. the book which helps deal with the borderline personality is aptly named "i hate you, don't leave me", which again sounds like could be the underlying issue.

that's my 2 cents. hopefully i'm wrong on all 3 counts - that's the absolute best scenario

 

[TheLastRonin]

Sounds like she dating one or two other guys and is trying to decide what she wants more. Playing the field if you will.

 

[EasyEJL]

I'm begining to feel like I'm waisting my time here. I'm spinning my wheels and getting nowhere.

you are. move on. if she comes crawling back, say no.

 

[Dizmal]

well here's the problem. at that age (32) and having commitment issues and her wanting to be with you, your option is she's a borderline, or commitment-phobe, or she's looking for someone else.

if we rule out option 3, you're either going to have to break down option 2, or read up on option 1 and see if this applies to your girl. i'm in a relationship with a borderline (and have been for 5 years). i can tell you the sex is the best, but the mood swings will take serious gouges out of your ego. the book which helps deal with the borderline personality is aptly named "i hate you, don't leave me", which again sounds like could be the underlying issue.

that's my 2 cents. hopefully i'm wrong on all 3 counts - that's the absolute best scenario

Well, she was in a 8 year relationship up ntil 2 years ago. Since then it's been nothing but failed dating experiences. similar story for me. Engaged and 2.5 years ago it fell apart and nothing but trouble ever since.

So I don't think it's commitment.

I've asked if there was another guy when she asked to be friends and she said there wasn't. At the time I believed her cause she would always ask me to hang out any chance she had it seemed. I still do believe there is no one else.

Only in the last 2 weeks has she not always been offering to hang out as much as she used to.

So I think she's a borderline. When things are good, their great! When she's wishy washy, I'm just sitting there wondering what the hell is it now?? It's wearing on me wondering which girl I'm dating from week to week. The one who can't get enough of me or the one who seems to be indifferent about seeing me.

The main issue for me right now is the consistancy. She doesn't follow through with what she says she's going to do. I don't think I want to be with that kind of person. I'm just torn on what to do or if I'm just making a bigger deal out of it than I should?

 

[suncloud]

So I think she's a borderline. When things are good, their great! When she's wishy washy, I'm just sitting there wondering what the hell is it now?? It's wearing on me wondering which girl I'm dating from week to week. The one who can't get enough of me or the one who seems to be indifferent about seeing me.

The main issue for me right now is the consistancy. She doesn't follow through with what she says she's going to do. I don't think I want to be with that kind of person. I'm just torn on what to do or if I'm just making a bigger deal out of it than I should?

yeah, there's a few things required to fit the borderline personality, but one of them is they find some way of screwing up relationships. for example, when my girl says something contradictory to what she said earlier, she'll blow up at me for asking for clarification because "i don't trust her", or are "calling her a liar". its one of those WTF moments like thinking to yourself "are you trying to push me away, is there something else going on, maybe i'm just having a bad dream"

your g/f's compulsion to go on road trips at 32 years old rather than settling down kinda seems like BPD - pushing you away while engaging in erratic/unusual behavior. if she makes arguments with you, then 5 minutes later asks you why you're still pissed off, BPD is my best guess. however, the sex is fantastic....

 

[Dizmal]

you are. move on. if she comes crawling back, say no.

Heh, well that's the thing. She already came crawling back but seems to have gotten comfortable again...

But I'm beginning to think I am just wasting time.

yeah, there's a few things required to fit the borderline personality, but one of them is they find some way of screwing up relationships. for example, when my girl says something contradictory to what she said earlier, she'll blow up at me for asking for clarification because "i don't trust her", or are "calling her a liar". its one of those WTF moments like thinking to yourself "are you trying to push me away, is there something else going on, maybe i'm just having a bad dream"

your g/f's compulsion to go on road trips at 32 years old rather than settling down kinda seems like BPD - pushing you away while engaging in erratic/unusual behavior. if she makes arguments with you, then 5 minutes later asks you why you're still pissed off, BPD is my best guess. however, the sex is fantastic....

Well, we haven't been in many arguments and really, we get along quite well when we're together... But the one time we did she did try to turn things around on me....

The whole trying to make plans last weekend incident for example... When she emailed me last Friday to tell me to go ahead with my plans if I had some. I replied I don't have plans, that's why I'm asking you. But I'll go ahead and make some. I'm not giong to be a last minute shoe in... She replied asking if I was mad. I said I'm annoyed. I'm annoyed we discussed this 3 times over 4 days and I still can't get a straight answer even now the day before and you're blowing me off to the last minute.

Well, she replied along the lines of it sucks that I annoy you already when were not even a couple. Well wtf, it's just common courtesy to let someone know one way or another. Yes let's do something. No, that night won't work. If it were a last minute thing where I called that Sat and she couldn't commit. Whatever. That's excusable. But when I'm trying to set something up days in advance and then she tries to turn it around on me that I shouldn't be pissed. Well I was like wtf?!

But I just turned it back around and said on the flip side... It sucks that we're not even a couple and I'm getting pushed off to the last minute and never getting a straight answer after discussing plans for Saturday a couple times and even now, the day before... I think you'd be annoyed if I did that to you. No?

To which I never got a reply. I brought it up that Saturday and just explained this is a pet peave of mine. I'd be pissed if anyone of my friends did this. But I hold you to a bit higher standard as we are dating. Never got a real answer out of her...



And see, I'm just wondering if I'm over reacting and trying to sabatoge this or if the flags I'm seeing are for real?? I've come from a line of failed relationships myself. But i'm at the point where I know what I want and if you're not there with me. Get out of my way, stop waisting my time and i'll find someone who is.

The sex is good though! Hate to leave that behind :worried:

 

[Dizmal]

and 5 years with a BPD?!?! how the hell have you made it so long and still be sane??!

 

[suncloud]

yeah, that'll be a part of your relationship - the explaining things that shouldn't make her angry that somehow do. borderlines tend to "mask" their feelings from people, then let their guard down when you get close to them - that's when the arguments start. the early dating is straight up normal, so its kinda frustrating. my advice is either read up on how to talk to borderlines and deal with it (cause the sex is great), or move on.

since i've been in a relationship with one for 5 years, you can guess which option i took. also, take everything i say with a grain of salt - i haven't met her, and i could be completely off base in my guess.

according to the DSM4, a borderline must meet 5 of the criteria in the bullets, some of which you may know, some may fill in the blanks : http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/symptoms-of-borderline-personality-disorder/

regardless, i wish you luck in whatever choice you make. find a girl that makes YOU happy - for me great sex with a hot milf and having awesome kids (they're not biologically mine) made that decision for me. again, best of luck.



EDIT : i'm hanging on to my sanity with a thread actually, i was abused by a child psychiatrist (my mom), so my ability to handle stress is probably what i would term above average. that and i wouldn't trade my kids for anything.

all you gotta do is figure out how to turn them into a good mood, and ignore them lashing out. a 30 year old girl (mine) that's a size 2 after kids, flat abs, implants, and a wild sex drive is a hard thing to turn down

 

[Dizmal]

Well, what makes me happy is knowing I'm wanted as much as I want them. Not that I need much, just a few crumbs here and there to keep me hot on the trail!

Plenty of women out there who know how to screw. This one isn't the best, but in my top 10.

Right now I feel like I'm busting ass for an employer who doesn't give two ****s about me or how much work I do. When that happens you either quit or stick with it until you find a new job. Show me I'm appreciated and that you'll do what you say you will and I would work for pennies or erm, sex

and LOL reading the BPD outline makes me think I'm BPD!!! :trout:

 

[suncloud]

and LOL reading the BPD outline makes me think I'm BPD!!! :trout:

in that case... wanna trade girlfriends?

 

[Dizmal]

Hahaha girlfriend swap! If she's as good as you say I'm willing to give it a try

A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation

This. When i'm with her, she's the best. I'm happy, she's happy. When I get away from her. I start to devalue her and question things(obviously). Does she do the same? Not sure...

Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)

This. Spending(debt), sex, drinking for me. For her there is drinking, maybe sex, not sure about her financials...

Chronic feelings of emptiness

Don't know about chronic. But after all the failed relationships and wondering if I'll ever find the right person. I would say that's an accurate description. With her, she has expressed the same type of feelings.


So maybe I'm sababtoging my own relationship?! :shhh:

I wonder if two BPD people can have a decent relationship??

 

[suncloud]

Hahaha girlfriend swap! If she's as good as you say I'm willing to give it a try

tempting.... how close to nor-cal are ya?

I wonder if two BPD people can have a decent relationship??

now that's something i don't know the answer to.



my girls two were the spending and the drugs. 500k in 4 years on oxycontin. bleh.

maybe reading up on it - "walking on eggshells" is the best interpersonal book on BPD will help you figure out either
1 - if the relationship is what you want
2 - if it is you, how to better manage BPD

its quite common - between 2-10% of the population have it, depending on who you talk to, and there's really very little meds can do to treat it - only directly identifying the problems seem to do anything. the good news is you don't need meds to work though it (i despise meds). any time you don't need meds to treat something i consider a blessing in disguise.

 

[KarlaG]

Sounds like she dating one or two other guys and is trying to decide what she wants more. Playing the field if you will.

Yes

you are. move on. if she comes crawling back, say no.

and Yes


. . women are playas too champ, in one form or another . . better at it than you can comprehend

~Karla

 

[Zero V]

This sounds harsh but...She seems to be broken. Its a thing that happens to people (in normal base relationships over time) and it is usually not one that can be fixed. Humans have mechanical mindsets. So when certain defense mechanisms trigger, they can become an integral part of a weaker mind instead of a temporary protective barrier.

Thus we end up with current America, 80% of the people suffering from some debilitating relationship/trust/hate/unable to care issue.

Women who make excuses are women I see no point dallying around with anymore. Thank society for producing it. With the "its ok to date 100 people" mindset. And it goes that the more partners a person has, the less they can attach to any one person.(The chemical reaction of strong love gets weakened with each progressive partner, eventually leading to America having a 60% and currently growing divorce rate)

She is not consistent because at her age, she still has no clue. She says she is tired of the dating thing being screwed over...but alot of women who say that, are the ones who did the screwing over.

3 months, is nothing. IMO she is showing early signs of what I call Kayla Syndrome.(Named after my ex!) it is an irreversible disease that turns them into unbearable people. Sorry, it is terminal...

Cheer up bud, if one doesnt work out, and you are a good guy, there are plenty of hot single soccer moms your age looking to settle down with a real man.

 

[EasyEJL]

Heh, well that's the thing. She already came crawling back but seems to have gotten comfortable again...

But I'm beginning to think I am just wasting time.

Duh! you will see the cycle repeated over and over, the only difference you will ever see is how long it will take for the pendulum to swing to the other side. And whether she's bipolar or not and whether she seeks help and whether it does help and what her medicated personality is like and whether she likes her medicated personality and whether she stays on meds are all a huge pile of "ifs" that aren't worth the effort given what you've invested so far.

If you had been with her for years before the pattern started to happen sure.

The sex is good though! Hate to leave that behind :worried:

good sex is easy to find But ya, generally the crazier the chick the better the sex. I recall one in particular who really believed she was a vampire. Crazy as crap but wheeeeee was she a lot of fun

 

[Conagher]

Sounds like she dating one or two other guys and is trying to decide what she wants more. Playing the field if you will.

That would be my guess,also.

 

[Conagher]

Yes



and Yes


. . women are playas too champ, in one form or another . . better at it than you can comprehend

~Karla

Sad,but so very true.

 

[Dizmal]

. . women are playas too champ, in one form or another . . better at it than you can comprehend

~Karla

Never denied that.

I never underestimate the ability of a woman to do some pretty evil ****. I've learned via experience. But what can you do? Can't assume you're all like that or I'll never get anywhere with anyone. So I just take notes on behavior and **** like I'm posting about now. Her ability to say and do two completely different things is a big flag.

 

[nosnmiveins]

having quickly read all that....think of it like this:

shes single for a reason

to me it sounds like she just another one of those crazy women (as in truely sick), dont waste ur time man, just move on.

 

[AlbinoRhino44]

damn dude sorry this position sucks for you. I think you are totally right by leaving her alone if you have feelings if you 2 can't have the relationship you both want. dont be a **** buddy if you care for her, because over time she won't think about it when she hurts you (which will be all the time) and eventually you will hate her and memories of her will be bad when you can at least salvage something and not hate her forever, at this point.

As far as her actions. I don't know that treating and approaching her as if she has a mental disease is right, correct or may i say, even your place. I don't think i'd do that ever, even if i knew for a fact it to be true. When you do that you appear to say you are better than them by being "normal" (who is anyway) and you know how to "deal with these types of people". Why because you read it in a book? Imagine your fury if she knew how to deal with you because she read about "meatheads" (not to insult you, but it's the only interest of yours I know you have) in some book. I know how i'd feel. . .

But lastly, her actions can be from a few things, but to not be mentioned yet. She could have issues with commitment. Strangely enough, you can actually scare women by being "too right". So they say. ?I don't know what that means. But then she could be creating the pattern where things are so good, she ****s em up so she can take a step back because shes scared things are so good. Insane. But women do it. they can get afraid of what they want so they try to sabotage it for what seems to be no reason, when really they are used to being unhappy, so they essentially ensure that they remian so. In the end, you have to figure all this out with her, and we can only give you things to think about. Nobody knows the situation better than you though, and good luck with it.

 

[BigNutz]

you are. move on. if she comes crawling back, say no.

My boy! From Tampa! Ka-blam! Calls it like he sees it and EXACTLY like it is. Maybe its the Tampa mind set I dont know, but theres the truth. Like it or not.

 

[suncloud]

i'm going to make a big public apology to the mods here.

some things on this thread i've posted have been deleted, and i wanted to state that i felt that this thread required (IMO) some much needed levity. i apologize to the mods, and anyone that read this thread if i crossed a line that i should not have.

i'll keep my humor a little more board appropriate. again, obviously i crossed a line, so i'm sorry for making you guys do extra work, and to anyone that may have been bothered by what i said.

 

[Cassavus]

I'm going to tell you exactly what I told myself awhile back... There are so many great women in the world. Stop wasting your time with the one that doesn't give it in return?

 

[buuzer0]

I'm going to tell you exactly what I told myself awhile back... There are so many great women in the world. Stop wasting your time with the one that doesn't give it in return?

THIS! Oh, and...

Duh! you will see the cycle repeated over and over, the only difference you will ever see is how long it will take for the pendulum to swing to the other side. And whether she's bipolar or not and whether she seeks help and whether it does help and what her medicated personality is like and whether she likes her medicated personality and whether she stays on meds are all a huge pile of "ifs" that aren't worth the effort given what you've invested so far.

If you had been with her for years before the pattern started to happen sure.



good sex is easy to find But ya, generally the crazier the chick the better the sex. I recall one in particular who really believed she was a vampire. Crazy as crap but wheeeeee was she a lot of fun

I know I didn't add much but I'm going to echo the advice above. I wouldn't try to settle down with a girl who has such a flaky personality. To me they're cool to have as friends who you can get together with every now and then for a wild time, but as people who you can make plans with it's not a good fit, as it seems you're finding out.

 

[tattoopierced1]

Easy is right.. in the words of Iron Maiden.. run to the hills.. run for your life. This girl seems like bad news and keeps yanking your chain (and not the good chain). PIITB, and move on.

 

[Bionic]

you are. move on. if she comes crawling back, say no.

^^^^THAT! QUOTED FOR TRUTH.^^^^^

 

[buuzer0]

When it's all said and done you have to ask yourself, "do I DESERVE to put up with bad behavior like this?" The answer is, of course, NO. I think you figured it out on your own with a lot of what was written in the first post. You don't have to accept bad behavior from anyone. Don't put up with it, and find a more stable girl if you're trying to settle down. It doesn't sound like this woman is ready. On to the next one...

 

[hardknock]

No way I am reading half of what you wrote, but there was a point in there that she said she wanted to be "bed buddies" or this is what you assumed, well, guess what, this is what she has turned this into, right under your nose....

I mean, seriously, sit back, and seriously think of what bed buddies are. Write down all the things that the person on the outside looking in would write down or just ask if you don't know, ask anybody. The list that you create will fit right in with this scenario which you just painted, promise it.

Hot one week, nothing much the next, leads you on, then turns the corner, wants to do the groupy thing, but wants to settle down and buy a house? Is she fking serious? Lacking for money but gets trashed every friday night?

Sounds like a girl that is into having some wild times and good sex while it last, then after everything is done and she's wasted her life away, try and find someone to drop dead with....I may be blunt but damn it, I won't lie to you.

 

[Dizmal]

Update: it's over.


Nothing changed much as far as hanging out more, her making me "feel" wanted. I got tired of waiting for things to change. There wasn't much of a hot/cold period after this thread. It was just a steady plateau of me putting in effort and her not so much. I gave her an out; she took it.


Bummin pretty hard, this was 2 weeks ago. Still think about her all the time. Haha christ! You'd think this was my first rodeo?!

Anyway, just thought I'd update.


PS. Thanks Suncloud. Don't know who was bitching... But you helped me

 

[nparisi]

Good for you man, you don't want to deal with someone who doesn't want to spend time with you

 

[BMCLouzee]

Update: it's over.


Nothing changed much as far as hanging out more, her making me "feel" wanted. I got tired of waiting for things to change. There wasn't much of a hot/cold period after this thread. It was just a steady plateau of me putting in effort and her not so much. I gave her an out; she took it.


Bummin pretty hard, this was 2 weeks ago. Still think about her all the time. Haha christ! You'd think this was my first rodeo?!

Anyway, just thought I'd update.


PS. Thanks Suncloud. Don't know who was bitching... But you helped me

You'll be alright. Plenty of fish in the sea. Just throw your little worm out and see if you can snag a big one.

 

[BMCLouzee]

Alright, the devil made me do it. Have you tried online dating? There's a site called plentyoffish.com that's free. I had a co-worker that was 40 years old and she found some really nice people there. Another girl I worked with found her fiance at that site.

 

[Dizmal]

Alright, the devil made me do it. Have you tried online dating? There's a site called plentyoffish.com that's free. I had a co-worker that was 40 years old and she found some really nice people there. Another girl I worked with found her fiance at that site.

Haha no I haven't. There was another thread on that at a different forum I go to about online dating. Sounds like it's more of a booty call service!!

But, it may be worth looking into! My current manager just proposed to the woman he met on match.com I think it was. So **** can go either way I suppose

 

[BMCLouzee]

It's a booty call if you make it one. I don't know how you're feeling right now. If you're in that mode like in that movie "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" and just want to batter dip the corn dog then you're probably not in the state to try it out. You'll meet some freaks, I'm sure of this, but it's like looking at some stuff on Ebay. You either want it or need it, so you watch the item, ask questions, and possibly make the commitment of buying it. Bad analogy, but you get the point.

Plenty of Fish is free. It's well monitored, so if there's a fake/shady profile, they delete it.

 

[BigNutz]

Show up somewhere where you know she will be with a hot 19 year old in tow and watch how fast she calls tellin you she cant live without you. Then tell her you just want to be friends.

 

[buuzer0]

Show up somewhere where you know she will be with a hot 19 year old in tow and watch how fast she calls tellin you she cant live without you. Then tell her you just want to be friends.

Stuff like this is a waste of time and effort and reminds me of highschool.

OP needs to move on, why bother trying to make someone jealous who you have no intention of pursuing anything with :irked:. Going out of his way to do something like this would be giving this troublesome girl more thought than she's obviously worth. I could find much better things to do with a hot 19 year old, I hope.

Oh yeah, Plenty of Fish is cool (mainly because it's FREE!), but it really depends on where you live (small town vs. big city) for the amount of women you'll find on there. I met a really cool girl on there about a year and a half ago though. Been busy so haven't messed with it in a while, but I say definitely check it out if curious.

 

[BigNutz]

Stuff like this is a waste of time and effort and reminds me of highschool.

OP needs to move on, why bother trying to make someone jealous who you have no intention of pursuing anything with :irked:. Going out of his way to do something like this would be giving this troublesome girl more thought than she's obviously worth. I could find much better things to do with a hot 19 year old, I hope.

Oh yeah, Plenty of Fish is cool (mainly because it's FREE!), but it really depends on where you live (small town vs. big city) for the amount of women you'll find on there. I met a really cool girl on there about a year and a half ago though. Been busy so haven't messed with it in a while, but I say definitely check it out if curious.

"...giving this troublesome girl more thought than she's obviously worth." Well we are way past that point, airing this out on a bodybuilding forum and all.

My post was tongue in cheek, what I was trying to demonstrate was the absolute FACT that chicks want what they cant have. That said there really is no effort required whatsoever. You and her probably hang at a lot of the same places anyway, your probably lookin for another girl as well.

It seems to be in women's nature to always be lookin to trade up. May as well use that fact to your advantage.