Man/Gym Laws

benmayro

benmayro

Well-known member
Everybody knows man law 1 bros before hoes and gym law 1 rack your weights once you're done. what are other ones you learnt or have come up with.
 
Man law 2. No flip flops
Man law 3. If you must wear flip flops, keep toe nails trimmed

Gym law 2. No yoga pants
Gym law 3. Respect other lifters space.
 
Wipe your phuckin sweat off the equipment.
 
Swanson52 said:
DON'T CURL IN THE SQUAT RACK!

How is that not #1?
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You can squat in other places too haha... Snatch and clean the weight up... When you're done drop it behind your back or military press it and let it hit the floor. ;)
 
AaronJP1 said:
You can squat in other places too haha... Snatch and clean the weight up... When you're done drop it behind your back or military press it and let it hit the floor. ;)
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Have you seen em today?
 
Man/Bro Laws, many are from a show you may know that goes by the name of How I Met Your Mother

- a bro never never wraps a towel around his head when he gets out of the shower
- a bro should never sip an alcoholic beverage through a straw
- a bro should never wear crocs
- a bro should not "pop" his collar
- a bro should never say "it's to die for"
- no eye contact in a devil's three way
- a bro should never say "awwww"
- a bro must never leave without saying anything
- two bros should never share an umbrella
- a bro shall never reveal the score of a sporting even to another bro unless three times confirmed that it's cool
- the word cute should never be used unless describing a girl they want to bone
- a bro should never, ever, wear capri pants
- no bro should wear a speedo to the beach
- no bro should make a kissing face in a photo
- no bro should wear girls jeans

others

- whether he cares about sports or not, a bro cares about sports
- A bro may ask another bro to help him move. But only after first disclosing an honest estimate on both time commitment and number of large furniture pieces. If the bro has vastly underestimated, either his bros retain the right to leave his possessions where they are, in most cases stuck in a door-way
- bros to not share dessert
- When flipping through TV channels with his Bros, a Bro is not allowed to skip past a program featuring boobs. This includes but is not limited to, exercise shows, women's athletics, and on some occasions surgery programs.
- no sex with a bros ex (unless granted permission)
- a bro saves a bro from the friend zone
 
Xtweak05 said:
Man/Bro Laws, many are from a show you may know that goes by the name of How I Met Your Mother

- a bro never never wraps a towel around his head when he gets out of the shower
- a bro should never sip an alcoholic beverage through a straw
- a bro should never wear crocs
- a bro should not "pop" his collar
- a bro should never say "it's to die for"
- no eye contact in a devil's three way
- a bro should never say "awwww"
- a bro must never leave without saying anything
- two bros should never share an umbrella
- a bro shall never reveal the score of a sporting even to another bro unless three times confirmed that it's cool
- the word cute should never be used unless describing a girl they want to bone
- a bro should never, ever, wear capri pants
- no bro should wear a speedo to the beach
- no bro should make a kissing face in a photo
- no bro should wear girls jeans

others

- whether he cares about sports or not, a bro cares about sports
- A bro may ask another bro to help him move. But only after first disclosing an honest estimate on both time commitment and number of large furniture pieces. If the bro has vastly underestimated, either his bros retain the right to leave his possessions where they are, in most cases stuck in a door-way
- bros to not share dessert
- When flipping through TV channels with his Bros, a Bro is not allowed to skip past a program featuring boobs. This includes but is not limited to, exercise shows, women's athletics, and on some occasions surgery programs.
- no sex with a bros ex (unless granted permission)
- a bro saves a bro from the friend zone
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Sounds like less of bro stuff more of not being gay stuff.

:lol:
 
Swanson52 said:
DON'T CURL IN THE SQUAT RACK!

How is that not #1?
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they are actually co #1s, i was just testing you guys
 
Establish good exercise form quickly.

There is no need to add an extra 40 lbs on the bicep curl when it looks like your trying to rock baby Huey to sleep.
 
Repeats but worth repeating.

Rack your goddamn weights.
Wipe your sweat off the bench.
Leave the squat and power racks for compounds.
Stay off your cell phone.
 
retrofitted said:
Repeats but worth repeating.

Rack your goddamn weights.
Wipe your sweat off the bench.
Leave the squat and power racks for compounds.
Stay off your cell phone.
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The cell phone thing is very annoying. Back before I trained with an iPod or iPhone I would over hear conversations that had no business taking place in the gym. I would say leave cell phones in a locker or car, but considering I myself am on call 24/7 not even I can do that.

It's noteworthy that I have had to take calls in the gym, but my calls are an automated voice message asking if I can accept a job for work or not, so I don't speak back to it at all.
 
Don't make yourself puke in an attempt to make others think you are moving big weight.

Guy at my old gym used to go over to the trash can and make himself puke after squatting 225!

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk 2
 
prld2gr8ns said:
Man law 2. No flip flops
Man law 3. If you must wear flip flops, keep toe nails trimmed

Gym law 2. No yoga pants
Gym law 3. Respect other lifters space.
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No flip flops?
But I live on the beach.
 
Xtweak05 said:
Man/Bro Laws, many are from a show you may know that goes by the name of How I Met Your Mother

- a bro never never wraps a towel around his head when he gets out of the shower
- a bro should never sip an alcoholic beverage through a straw
- a bro should never wear crocs
- a bro should not "pop" his collar
- a bro should never say "it's to die for"
- no eye contact in a devil's three way
- a bro should never say "awwww"
- a bro must never leave without saying anything
- two bros should never share an umbrella
- a bro shall never reveal the score of a sporting even to another bro unless three times confirmed that it's cool
- the word cute should never be used unless describing a girl they want to bone
- a bro should never, ever, wear capri pants
- no bro should wear a speedo to the beach
- no bro should make a kissing face in a photo
- no bro should wear girls jeans

others

- whether he cares about sports or not, a bro cares about sports
- A bro may ask another bro to help him move. But only after first disclosing an honest estimate on both time commitment and number of large furniture pieces. If the bro has vastly underestimated, either his bros retain the right to leave his possessions where they are, in most cases stuck in a door-way
- bros to not share dessert
- When flipping through TV channels with his Bros, a Bro is not allowed to skip past a program featuring boobs. This includes but is not limited to, exercise shows, women's athletics, and on some occasions surgery programs.
- no sex with a bros ex (unless granted permission)
- a bro saves a bro from the friend zone
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All epic!!
 
toddgranit said:
No flip flops?
But I live on the beach.
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I wear flip flops year round but I call them slippers. I used to live ocean front. Sigh, miss those days.

My #1 man law: Do unto others as you would have done unto you.
My #1 gym law: By not giving it your best you're only cheating yourself.

Overall life motto: It's not worth doing if I can't take pictures and post it on the internet.
 
but i love making duck face in my pictures....instagram fitness model


the rule that ppl should enforce at my gym are, don't put your equipment on all the gym equipment your not using, i.e. your lifting belts, straps, wraps, and bottles
 
Gym laws:

If you must grunt, which is completely acceptable , do not over exaggerate it as if anybody really cares how much your lifting or how intense you think you're training.

Please stand at least 5 feet back from the DB rack so others can access the DBs instead of waiting for you to finish curling, lateraling, or shrugging. I've had to tell several people to move back so myself and others can use the DBs.

If you use the gyms locker room, sit on your towel. Don't go bare ass on the benches.

Drop your DBs in a controlled matter. If I can drop 130s controlled I know for a fact those 70s don't need to be rolling 6 feet on my feet.
 
gym law: if you sweat at the gym, wipe your ass,back and head stain
man law: you never become bestfriends with an hot chick unless something more is obviously immenint
 
Swanson52 said:
DON'T CURL IN THE SQUAT RACK!

How is that not #1?
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Eh, I curl in the squat rack. But I'm also just about the only person at my gym who squats! There's only 2 barbells at my gym, squat rack and bench press. So I figure I use the barbell that nobody else uses.
Most of the gym laws I can think of have already been mentioned. But don't set your water bottle on a bench that you're not using cuz u don't wanna bend over to pick it up!
 
Raiph said:
Don't do great big protein farts that stink like egg when you're squatting too deep
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Clearly you've never attempted to hold a fart in whilst training legs. Impossible to do.

The gym already smells of sweat, overly perfumed middle aged woman, and feet, so why not add a little ass smoke in there.


Here's another gym law: Shrugging using the Bench Press. I can understand if your gym doesn't have a rack of some sort designated solely for curling, squatting, pressing, etc. However, if the squat rack is open go do your shrugging over there. I'd like to bench press, and you're on one of the only 2 benches in the gym.
** This also applies to the DB Rowers using the bench press. There are 3 flat benches at my gym and a certain man refuses to use them while rowing**
 
^^^^^ one does not curl in squat rack, the rack is made for squating, nice full deep squats. my gym has two benches and 1 squat rack and 95% of the males only do chest and arms. so distrub the bench before the squat rack
 
benmayro said:
^^^^^ one does not curl in squat rack, the rack is made for squating, nice full deep squats. my gym has two benches and 1 squat rack and 95% of the males only do chest and arms. so distrub the bench before the squat rack
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Technically speaking, racks are designated for any sort of exercise that can be performed within them. Presses, pull-ups, deadlifting, rack pulls, curls, and yes, squats. Squat stands however, those should not be utilized for anything other than what they're designed for.

I don't see the problem with curling in the squat rack at the appropriate time. During a rush, yes I can understand. I personally think too many of you are paying attention to others and letting it affect your day entirely too much. If you minus the rules that apply to hygiene, and obvious distractions, what's the big deal with a persons lifting/gym habits. They're not letting anybody affect their day, why are you letting them affect yours. Once you see something "annoying", see it, roll eyes, chuckle, get over it, win.

Also, you said 95% train chest and arms, so by using the bench for more unconventional needs, wouldn't they then become even more annoying considering more people want that piece of equipment?
 
nope, in a perfect world maybe but in the real world squat racks are for squats, the extra bar for curling, and those all chest and arm guys need to redo their workout
 
Curls can be done anywhere in the gym. Squats can be done in the squat/power rack. Hence, no curls in the squat rack.

I pay attention to this because if I'm going to squat, and there's some clown in the rack curling 65# it jams up my workout needlessly.
 
Man Law: Don't **** block
Man Law 2:If you do **** block the person you **** blocked has the right to punch you in the face
 
benmayro said:
nope, in a perfect world maybe but in the real world squat racks are for squats, the extra bar for curling, and those all chest and arm guys need to redo their workout
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There is no extra bar at my gym to curl with. There's a bar in the squat rack, and one on the bench. Almost everybody at my gym benches, but hardly anybody squats. So I use the one that's almost never used to do my curls with. And it's not like it would help if I curled somewhere else in the gym, because to do that I would need to take the bar from the squat rack to do so.
 
Hahaha...all of the above are great! Some good laughs in there.

Gym Laws:
1) *Already said but a big pet peeve of mine * - Wipe your f'ing sweat! If not, I'm more than happy to volunteer to spot you while you bench right after I walked off a 60min stair climber cardio session.

2) No sunglasses in the gym! Really? Why would anyone need to wear them?

3) No dude should wear yoga pants or capris...enough said

4) In the locker room, please don't take off your damn towel when I'm sitting on the bench putting my socks back on.

5) No loud grunting...err screaming when you're trying to incline press only 80lb DBs. Eh no screaming period.

6) No out of shape choad should be giving lifting pointers to the hot chick in the gym

7) NO, no you don't need to do 10 sets on the bench during peak gym hours

8) NO sitting in the front during Yoga class! You're clearly in there for the wrong reason then (haha).


Man Laws:
1) It takes a big man to cry...but a bigger man to point and laugh at him
 
A few more man laws:

1.) No man shall drive a convertible unless said convertible is either a classic, or worth more than 75k. Otherwise that car is intended for a woman.

2.) Hats should not be worn backwards. It's not the 90s anymore, bill forward guys.

3.) No Goatees. Unless you're black or hispanic a goatee screams d**che

4.) Wear bright colors. Don't be a homophobe, bright colors look good on us too.

5.) Brown with brown, black with black. It's not hard to match or have some sort of fashion sense.

6.) No barbed wire tattoos

7.) A man should not drive a Miata, ever.
 
Wipe your sweat!

Do not go and put your bag, sweaty towel, and water bottle on a machine and then walk to the other side of the gym to go work on another machine. Especially if you stay over there for over 5 mins.

Its cool if you take 3,4, or even 5 towels from the front desk to wipe down and shower after your workout. But DO NOT leave them all over the floor and bench and just walk out like it's your ****ing house!!! <---- This one irritates me the most!

And girls waiting for the zumba class, don't sit on the machines and wait for the other class to end. Stand up against the wall or go hit the treadmill until they are done!
 
Never let Mr. Smalls lift alone.
Always spot anyone who asks for assistance
Never leave ones bag on the workout floor. There are storage areas for that stuff
 
Don't spend more time fawking with your iPod or phone while sitting on the bench/machine than you did actually working a set. I hate waiting on guys to get the right song to get through a damn set! FINISH!!
 
I hate when dudes put 405 on the squat rack, only to squat about 4 inches 12 times and rack it like he's the man and accomplished something.

I seriously want to kick their knees out with that weight on their back...
 
Evan666 said:
I hate when dudes put 405 on the squat rack, only to squat about 4 inches 12 times and rack it like he's the man and accomplished something.

I seriously want to kick their knees out with that weight on their back...
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and why do you let this affect your day and workout?


Another man/gym/public courtesy rule:

If you must crap in a public facility, make it quick. It does not take anybody, I don't care who you are, 15 minutes to drop one. I was in the military, so I'm very familiar with "power sh*ts". If you're not familiar with a "power sh*t", you sit down, release, wipe, and leave. It shouldn't take more than 5 minutes. In public, especially when there are only 1 or 2 toilets, it's very selfish to sit down like you're at your home. Make it snappy, and move on with your day.
 
^^^^ wash your hands when you are done
 
Evan666 said:
Because they aren't lifting correctly and in doing so, wasting a squat rack that I could use.
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That's a selfish thought don't you think? They're in the gym attempting to achieve their own individual goals and train just like you or I. I don't think you should put them down just because they don't train how you want them to or with the best of form. Let them train, go about your training, and have a productive day in and out of the gym. No need to let petty things affect your life so much.
 
never get into an arguememt with someone on the internet especially someone you dont know,
 
benmayro said:
never get into an arguememt with someone on the internet especially someone you dont know,
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meh. Arguments, if kept respectful, are healthy. Debating, arguing, understanding other peoples viewpoints and perspectives are healthy every day events. Internet arguments and debates can get out of hand I acknowledge that most definitely, but it's the internet, and the internet is a mask. People have giant internet testicles, truth.
 
Xtweak05 said:
That's a selfish thought don't you think? They're in the gym attempting to achieve their own individual goals and train just like you or I. I don't think you should put them down just because they don't train how you want them to or with the best of form. Let them train, go about your training, and have a productive day in and out of the gym. No need to let petty things affect your life so much.
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I never said it affected my life...nor my training. I just said I don't like it. If it bothers me, that's my business. There is no need to let my post ruffle your feathers...or are you that guy doing 4 inch squats?

A 4 inch squat isn't training btw.
 
Xtweak05 said:
That's a selfish thought don't you think? They're in the gym attempting to achieve their own individual goals and train just like you or I. I don't think you should put them down just because they don't train how you want them to or with the best of form. Let them train, go about your training, and have a productive day in and out of the gym. No need to let petty things affect your life so much.
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I still am of the opinion that you can curl anywhere...you can't do ME squats anywhere.

If there are only 2 bars in the gym, I guess theres no other solution. However, MOST gyms have a multitude of bars. If you're taking up the only area for squatting to do curls that can be done anywhere, it negatively impacts my training unnecessarily.

But that's just, like, my opinion man.
 
Swanson52 said:
I still am of the opinion that you can curl anywhere...you can't do ME squats anywhere.

If there are only 2 bars in the gym, I guess theres no other solution. However, MOST gyms have a multitude of bars. If you're taking up the only area for squatting to do curls that can be done anywhere, it negatively impacts my training unnecessarily.

But that's just, like, my opinion man.
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I agree
 
Evan666 said:
I never said it affected my life...nor my training. I just said I don't like it. If it bothers me, that's my business. There is no need to let my post ruffle your feathers...or are you that guy doing 4 inch squats?

A 4 inch squat isn't training btw.
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Hardly "ruffled my feathers" sir lol. I'm merely trying to understand your predicament and thought process.

I don't squat at all btw, nerve damage won't allow it. I do a lot of incline sprinting and long distance running which I really enjoy. Thats hardly leg training but go do weighted sled sprints or 12 hill sprints and it's certainly a burner.
 
Swanson52 said:
DON'T CURL IN THE SQUAT RACK!

How is that not #1?
Click to expand...

well where else are you supposed to do straight barbell curls if your gym doesnt have extra bars? curling over the bench press is awkward as hell, and then of course, you could argue 'dont curl on the bench press'
 
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