Win AI Sports bottle of Phenibut when you share your most embarrassing moments

John Smeton

John Smeton

Legend
Rules are simple, share your most embarrassing moments. They have to be true stories

One story per day is the limit and one winner wins this

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Ill start this off. In second grade I pooped my pants and it was so bad I couldnt get all the poop out. I was embarassed so I sat a good half day with poop in my pants. I remember I was on the bus coming home and someone yelled ewww whats the smell.
 
I was standing on a swing set at "the park" where I played baseball when I was younger. Prob say I was 12! And was spitting my game with 6 of "hot/popular" girls in school! Then all of a sudden... My pants are down.. And the tidy whiteys are flaunted to the ladies :( my buddy decided to pants me in front of all the cute ladies!! Waaaaahhhhhh :"(
 
I went to a club or bar around 20/21.
Got drunk as hell.
Could not hold my liquor in. Threw up all me and the side of his car. Came close to shítting myself too, but I didn't haha.
Police pulled us over and I had that vomit all over my shirt. I was just glad I wasn't driving.
 
About a month ago I was driving around with friends and, attempted to powerslide using my e-brake.... long story short power slide worked but my brakes completely seized up and we all had to walk home lol
 
t was my second year in college. My class went to the boat trip and the plan was to get wasted which I did pretty well. I managed to get to my cabin with a pretty girl and things started to get wild. We were doing.. well, you know what, when the door of the cabin suddenly opened. There was two girls from my class, one being very close friend of mine and another not-so-close. Those girls started to scream that one who was not so close to me, screamed: "I saw g0hardorgohom's ****! I never want to see it again!"
I was too drunk to care about whole situation until that girl went to the corridors and shouted to everyone: "Come here, g0hardorgohom is having sex! Come to watch!".. And them my best friend (male like me) came there. He was just staring there and laughing for some time until all of them left us alone. Despite everything I was man (or drunk) enough to finish my job.
Next morning my friend came to my cabin and told me that my sex partner had more hairs in her ass than me. I didn't laugh. And it wasn't funny to face those girls from my class either.


I don't know if I'm eligible to win because I'm from Finland but I still decided to share this with you guys, just to encourage more people to share their most embarrassing moments :)

I have few more good stories (one about my first date, two stories about my holiday trips and fourth one about a weekend out with two best friends of mine few months ago), will probably post those later this week :)
 
I accidentally went on a date with a gay guy..

So my room mate in the dorms in college my freshman year was gay, super awesome guy though and I became friends with him. Anyways we were always playing practical jokes on each other. One time though he decided to tell one of his gay friends I had the hots for him. So that guy asked if I wanted to see a movie. I didn't think anything of it, just thought..Oh this is one of Reid's friends.. Sure, why not. We went to the movie.. "The Bone Collector" (not kidding..) Anyways during the movie he grabbed my hand and leaned in to kiss me.. I FREAKED the hell out.. we got out of the theatre and he told me.. You make me feel like I'm in 5th grade again... I was creeped and demanding wth was his issue. I had a girlfriend at the time (my current wife). He told me what Reid had told him, and then him and myself was pretty embarrassed at the situation. My wife still tells people that story at parties sometimes if I get a bit too rowdy.
 
D2footballjrc said:
I accidentally went on a date with a gay guy..

So my room mate in the dorms in college my freshman year was gay, super awesome guy though and I became friends with him. Anyways we were always playing practical jokes on each other. One time though he decided to tell one of his gay friends I had the hots for him. So that guy asked if I wanted to see a movie. I didn't think anything of it, just thought..Oh this is one of Reid's friends.. Sure, why not. We went to the movie.. "The Bone Collector" (not kidding..) Anyways during the movie he grabbed my hand and leaned in to kiss me.. I FREAKED the hell out.. we got out of the theatre and he told me.. You make me feel like I'm in 5th grade again... I was creeped and demanding wth was his issue. I had a girlfriend at the time (my current wife). He told me what Reid had told him, and then him and myself was pretty embarrassed at the situation. My wife still tells people that story at parties sometimes if I get a bit too rowdy.
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What n da phuck
 
D2footballjrc said:
I accidentally went on a date with a gay guy..

So my room mate in the dorms in college my freshman year was gay, super awesome guy though and I became friends with him. Anyways we were always playing practical jokes on each other. One time though he decided to tell one of his gay friends I had the hots for him. So that guy asked if I wanted to see a movie. I didn't think anything of it, just thought..Oh this is one of Reid's friends.. Sure, why not. We went to the movie.. "The Bone Collector" (not kidding..) Anyways during the movie he grabbed my hand and leaned in to kiss me.. I FREAKED the hell out.. we got out of the theatre and he told me.. You make me feel like I'm in 5th grade again... I was creeped and demanding wth was his issue. I had a girlfriend at the time (my current wife). He told me what Reid had told him, and then him and myself was pretty embarrassed at the situation. My wife still tells people that story at parties sometimes if I get a bit too rowdy.
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lmaooo @ your wife telling that story when you get too rowdy. That must have been at least ten years ago because I saw the bone collector in the thearte as well with my brother and another friend. Ashley Judd and Morgan Freeman if mymemory serves me.
 
g0hardorgohom said:
t was my second year in college. My class went to the boat trip and the plan was to get wasted which I did pretty well. I managed to get to my cabin with a pretty girl and things started to get wild. We were doing.. well, you know what, when the door of the cabin suddenly opened. There was two girls from my class, one being very close friend of mine and another not-so-close. Those girls started to scream that one who was not so close to me, screamed: "I saw g0hardorgohom's ****! I never want to see it again!"
I was too drunk to care about whole situation until that girl went to the corridors and shouted to everyone: "Come here, g0hardorgohom is having sex! Come to watch!".. And them my best friend (male like me) came there. He was just staring there and laughing for some time until all of them left us alone. Despite everything I was man (or drunk) enough to finish my job.
Next morning my friend came to my cabin and told me that my sex partner had more hairs in her ass than me. I didn't laugh. And it wasn't funny to face those girls from my class either.


I don't know if I'm eligible to win because I'm from Finland but I still decided to share this with you guys, just to encourage more people to share their most embarrassing moments :)

I have few more good stories (one about my first date, two stories about my holiday trips and fourth one about a weekend out with two best friends of mine few months ago), will probably post those later this week :)
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I lol'd bro.. I have a couple more as well. I always seem to put myself in some dumb ass situations. My worst is, I broke a 14 year old girls leg at a Marilyn Manson concert in one of my years of college. (It's not a mean as it sounds!) So keep reading, I'll rip that one out for you guys tomorrow :-D
 
John Smeton said:
lmaooo @ your wife telling that story when you get too rowdy. That must have been at least ten years ago because I saw the bone collector in the thearte as well with my brother and another friend. Ashley Judd and Morgan Freeman if mymemory serves me.
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I couldn't remember if it was Morgan Freeman or Denzel Washington. It would of been like 2000/2001 since it was my freshman year of college. I can tell you guys, because most likely I'll never meet many of you in person :-D

Just looked it up. 1999.. God I am old. It was my freshman year.
 
haha nice JR ... nice!
 
D2footballjrc said:
I lol'd bro.. I have a couple more as well. I always seem to put myself in some dumb ass situations. My worst is, I broke a 14 year old girls leg at a Marilyn Manson concert in one of my years of college. (It's not a mean as it sounds!) So keep reading, I'll rip that one out for you guys tomorrow :-D
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A broken leg at a MM concert doesn't surprise me
 
D2footballjrc said:
I'm not falling for your tricks ;-)
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Don't have any up my sleeve ;)
 
when i was 16 or 17, i was put to pray randomly in front of my church(200 members). i even wrote a paper on this lol pastor says "let us stand and i want 2 people to pray for us after we are all done and if no does, ill pick 2 of u." we finish prayin and no one decides to step up to the plate so i hear "Roxy and Mike." this girl starts and literally makes that prayer her bitch and i was like wtf am i supposed to say. she finishes, a long 10 second silence period and the giggles of my idiot friends behind get my heart racing. all i feel is my heart goin crazy as if i took a 100mcg hit of clen for my first dose and my face turnin redder every half a second. and my mouth opens and say "G-o-o-o-o-o-o-d" literally with my voice shakin like crazy, "bless us for everything that u have given us"(shaky voice) and i blacked out and almost fainted. i said literally a few words and thats it. all i wanted to do was knock out the pastor after that. this is why my church has to least amount of members in our community, they randomly embarrass u or force u to do something u dont want. but ya, thats my story
 
I lost my virginity in my buddies moms bed with a girl that was on the rag. Looked like something straight outta Dexter! After we were done, she hopped off me and the condom stayed I'm her! She started ballin (we were drizunk) and **** was gross! I also sharted in the hallway in school between classes and went into the bathroom stall and ripped my ****ty drawls off and flushed em down the toilet.
 
drinkyboy said:
I lost my virginity in my buddies moms bed with a girl that was on the rag. Looked like something straight outta Dexter! After we were done, she hopped off me and the condom stayed I'm her! She started ballin (we were drizunk) and **** was gross! I also sharted in the hallway in school between classes and went into the bathroom stall and ripped my ****ty drawls off and flushed em down the toilet.
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lmao!!!
I did laugh at that shít haha
Bold explains ya name huh?
 
Actually the name came about while I was stationed in Korea. There were prostitutes called 'drinky girls' that would live at bars and try to take all your money. They would say "you buy me drinky?" It would make me mad so I started asking them to buy me drinks, so that's how drinkyboy came about.
 
I was running on the treadmill once with long ass shoelaces and tripped and fell, but decided to try and hold on to the railings. NOT SMART! All this did besides look extremely retarded was have the belt of the treadmill take all the skin off my shins. I then continues to try to lift myself back up and barely reach the stop button.......all this happening with a girl that was working at the gym watching......thanks for the help lady!......that was a bad one!
 
You guys are killing me! My wife is asleep and I can't stop laughing a these stories!
 
The horror... For me it was freshmen year of high school during my first ever weight training class (first time I ever lifted). I was squatting an impressive 20lbs (not including the whopping 45lb bar) and feeling like a champ'.

It seems as though while I squatted that overwhelming amount of weight, I somehow forgot that normally a person should breathe... especially when doing exercise...

Regardless, upon finishing a record breaking 10 reps, I was feeling extremely dizzy and light headed. Next to me, one of the senior football players asked for a "spot." While I had no clue how to spot or what it really meant, I casually said "yah no problem" and stood behind him- literally just awkwardly watched- as he did 8 reps of 315. When he finished up, I remember that my hearing was coming and going and that my peripheral vision was starting to blur... but I couldn't show any signs of weakness- not now, not in front of a senior, I could be that cool freshmen with older friends.

He asked for help racking the weights and I agreed, but then he started talking to his friends for a moment: here was my golden opportunity to prove I was awesome, I would rack all the weights for him so he wouldn't have to. With my vision still blurry, I went to one side of the bar and took off the first 45lb plate: no problem. Then the next plate followed: slight ringing in ears but still feelin' fly.

Perhaps I ignored physics and just common sense, but anyone could realize that if there is 135lbs at one side of a bar with no weight on the other side... equilibrium will prevail and the bar isn't going to balance... As I removed the final plate, the bar rocketed itself at earth shattering speeds launching 2 feet into the wall and making a sound equivalent to a car crash.

The last thing I remember is looking to my right and seeing the entire class staring at me... and then I woke up on the ground of the weight room and had a throbbing pain in my head. According to witnesses, the moment before I fainted, my face was paler than chalk and apparently I mumbled out a string of incoherent syllables and sounds.

I had to get stitches in my head because when I fainted, my head landed on a piece of equipment and made a nasty gash. As far as the hole in the wall... perhaps my parents just felt pitty and paid to fix it so I didn't have to. Needless to say, I wasn't asked ever again to spot anybody that year... and of course, the slew of nicknames that followed (wobble legs, ghosty, mr physics) never seem to leave me for many months...
 
I broke my foot on Christmas eve 3 years ago... I'm very competitive and love to be a show off, anyways me and my step brother were having a competition to see who could jump more stairs. We jumped once and he beat me by 3 stairs. I was humiliated! So the second time I went all out. I gave it all I had and beat him by 5 steps! but during my landing the center of my right foot hit the edge of the stair and completely folded my foot.

I tried walking the fall off to avoid embarrassment and within the second step I collapsed to the ground. So stupid!
 
this one mite be a long one, ill do cilff notes also.

in highschool, me and my 6 friends decide we wanna get on a few blunts and smoke somewher new so go to "the glen," the wealthier side north of chicago. so we go there, go to the second floor of the parkin lot roll up and spark up. we're laughin, doin our thing and toward the end of the blunt, a narc randomly rolls up goin crazy, yellin blah blah blah. so he decides to search us. may i remind u that this was my euro jersey shore days where i wore some tight clothes, gay lookin glasses and crazy amount of gel in the hair, etc. so im the first he searches. right when he goes through my pockets, i have no idea how this got in my pocket but he pulls out a picture of one of my friends thats smokin with us. the picture was him doin a gay pose shirtless lookin pretty gay and they cop was like wtf and throws me a funny look and says i aint even gonna ask lol im like how the freak did that get in my pocket and all my friends start laughin. so he searches everyone else then moves on to our cars. again!!!!!!!!!!!! he finds the same picture but double the size of the first one and the cop says with a huge smile on his face "dude, dont worry, we dont judge. u are who u are and thats all the matters." im like to my friends "who keeps leavin his queer ass pics around me." 2 more cop cars pull up and the first tells em about pics and start laughin and then i get speeches about comin out the closet oh and my favorite, "denial is not just a river in egypt!!!!!" so they go through my trunk and find an energy drink called "Bawls" that was put in by my friends. after all the laughs, the cops decide to let us go on the count of the good laugh they had with me and one female cop had to mention she had a single brother that can help me come out. i walked away in shame that day.

cliff notes
- 6 of us get high
- cops show
- they find gay pics of my friend on me
- im the joke of the bust
- more jokes
- tryin to make me come out of closet
- get let go on the count of best laughs the cops ever had
- never goin back to the spot ever again
 
^^^LOL. Did you ever figure out what situation with the pix?
 
Not really embarrassing, just awkward as hell but I once had a girl start bawling, crying like no tommorow, in the middle of sex. Intermittently between the sobs she'd talk and all I could make out was "You're just too nice." It was quite the predicament. I couldn't say "I'm sorry" because that would make me even nicer than too nice, but if I told her to shut up, well, it'd be borderline rape.

good times. good. times.
 
I was at the gym doing bench and, had my girlfriend spot me because my friend was sick. Well as I started my set she put her vag in my face and, I instantly started getting hard lol! To make it worse she did it again as I was pushing the weight up, I was at full staff by the end of my set.... and as I sat up everyone at the bench area was starring. HAHA. I was SO RED!
 
I was kinda seeing this girl, and we went to the gym, and at this time it was probably like the 3rd time we had seen each other.
We went over to the elbow supported leg raise stand, and I did a set, and then she was doing hers and guess what....she exerted too much force.....and she farted.
I acted like I didn't hear it, and kinda wandered away. She acted like it never happened. We didn't really talk much after that.
And now I am seeing her now.
 
Prom night got pretty drunk took a decent girl home did the nasty...woke up the next day...went downstairs for a drink...mom said hey why are you bleeding? I looked in the mirror and had blood all over my face and chin....yeah I got my red wings on accident but for my mom to see omg....horrible
 
tweaver said:
I was at the gym doing bench and, had my girlfriend spot me because my friend was sick. Well as I started my set she put her vag in my face and, I instantly started getting hard lol! To make it worse she did it again as I was pushing the weight up, I was at full staff by the end of my set.... and as I sat up everyone at the bench area was starring. HAHA. I was SO RED!
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I would gave em 1 of these :thumbsup:
 
howwedo107 said:
Prom night got pretty drunk took a decent girl home did the nasty...woke up the next day...went downstairs for a drink...mom said hey why are you bleeding? I looked in the mirror and had blood all over my face and chin....yeah I got my red wings on accident but for my mom to see omg....horrible
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That is DISGUSTING! WTF
 
Guess today, I'll tell about the time I got beat up and put in the hospital by a chick.... (Read it all first!)

I was a Junior in high school and I thought I was the sh!t, was playing basketball and this bigger chick was playing as well. It was at a summer camp at a university on these concrete/blacktop courts. So I'm talking major smack and just dominating her trying to guard me. Apparently she had enough finally. I was going up for a layup she grabbed the back of my shirt and ripped me downwards and fell on me as well. I hit the ground hard.. anyways trying to be cool, I got up and was hurting like mad. I got all pissed and said I need to go ice this stuff. So I walk to the dorm and take the elevator to my room as I am walking it keeps getting more and more painful. I get about 2 feet from my door I step and boom black out. I wake up to my roomate slapping my face and try to get up and I can't just immense pain. They have to call an ambulance, the paramedics come get me on a back board. I was too tall for the elevator so they had to hold me at an angle to get me down the elevator on a backboard. At this point I am pissed off and want off the back board.

In the ambulance they give me a shot of something and apparently I turned loopy as hell, I was telling them at least I have my running shoes on and that they should put magazine articles up on the ceiling for me. At the hospital as it wore off I got worse and worse attitude as they wouldn't take me off the backboard. I told a nurse I was going to slap her with the backboard, she came over to me and put me in my place pretty good. Well all the test where ran and etc and I slightly unaligned a disk in my back and tore my lower right muscle pretty good. Ended up having to lay in bed for awhile and minor walking around. I got to go back to the camp a week later (It was a month long camp) and played it up for all the chicks at the camp. Had them all sign my neck brace. Scored a couple awesome dates from that incident. Still friends with the chick who put me in the hospital... In all fairness she did play football in the local high school, she was the kicker.....My friends still remind me that I am the one who was put in the hospital by a chick though.
 
stxnas said:
^^^LOL. Did you ever figure out what situation with the pix?
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ya he was givin out pics cuz he wanted to start modeling and sneaked one in my pocket and car lol but he does hav a sick body so kant hate
 
heres wanna from last night. vodka, sang baby got back at karaoke night at some bar and forgot some lyrics but remember some girl grindin up on me like crazy on the stage. im goin back to that place :) wasnt embarrassing, just a fun night. think my friends recorded it so ima post if they did
 
phatmike0704 said:
heres wanna from last night. vodka, sang baby got back at karaoke night at some bar and forgot some lyrics but remember some girl grindin up on me like crazy on the stage. im goin back to that place :) wasnt embarrassing, just a fun night. think my friends recorded it so ima post if they did
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You should talk about that time you pimped the wrong company in a thread :-p
 
The time i broke a 14 year old chicks leg at a Marilyn Manson concert. It was halloween night, a concert called Freakers Ball in Kansas City, Missouri. I was still young and stupid, maybe 18 atthe time. Anyways i pushed my way up and i saw an opening so i thought sweet ill just run through here real quick. So i was running through what i later learned was a mosh pit, and a girl lifted her shirt up. I paused for a second then was blind sided and knocked into this chick and you just hear a crack and her crying. Security had to make a path and it delayed Godhead from being able tocome out on stage by 30 minutes. Her brother got pretty upset with me and wastelling mehow she was only 14. At that point i had such a contact high i just kinda laughed i was told. Convert ended and i remembered trying to drive home, and i passed some signs for oklahoma, which means i had went about 120 miles the wrong way, took almost 5 hours to get home that night instead of the 2 it should of taken.
 
I had bad protein farts once and let one go secretly at my new job. Right after I did it, some girl walks in, and I was the only one in there.
Weird both of mine have been about farts so far.
 
FL3X MAGNUM said:
I had bad protein farts once and let one go secretly at my new job. Right after I did it, some girl walks in, and I was the only one in there.
Weird both of mine have been about farts so far.
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Thats the worst. When you know you've been caught.
 
So I was about 19 and went to a party and met some chick and well things got a little heated and me being the crazy 19 yr old test crazy teen I was decided hmmm let's see what this backdoor is all about. She was actually down and things went good.

Until I tell her to get dressed and meet me downstairs. When I get down stairs the whole party is looking at me because they could hear everything lol. I'm hammer and yelled " I just f-ed her in her a$$." everyone's jaw drops because little did I know she was standing right next to me.
 
stopstalking said:
So I was about 19 and went to a party and met some chick and well things got a little heated and me being the crazy 19 yr old test crazy teen I was decided hmmm let's see what this backdoor is all about. She was actually down and things went good.

Until I tell her to get dressed and meet me downstairs. When I get down stairs the whole party is looking at me because they could hear everything lol. I'm hammer and yelled " I just f-ed her in her a$$." everyone's jaw drops because little did I know she was standing right next to me.
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Hahahahahahh that's awesome!!!!
 
i took AP World history sophomore year of highschool and I guess I was like 1 of 6 guys out of a class of 35. so it was basically all girls and some of them were of the hottest girls in our grade. So we have been preparing for the AP test all year and our teacher is telling us how to eat that day and everything. So the big day came along. i follow his rules and eat an extra power bar or w/e before and during the break halfway through the 3 or 4 hour test. all you can here in the room are the scratching of pencils on a scantron. About halfway through the 2nd half hour my stomach starts goin crazy. I was getting bad cramps and my stomach was making farting noises. The noises and my cramps gain volume of about 5 minutes. half the class starts glancing at me between questions. My stomach stops for a moment. enough time for everybody continues their test. Suddenly, i release one of my worst silent but deadly farts. It does wonders for my stomach. Did not do well for my social life for the next couple weeks.
 
Last December I stopped by my girlfriends house after work. She has this huge blow up snow globe in her front yard, and I was inside talking to her I forgot something In my car so I ran out to grab it.... its freezing and I just have a T-shirt on so on my way back I sprinted to get inside. I didn't see the rope holding the globe in place and ate sidewalk hard :( ruined my brand new jeans. Messed up her globe. My hands and arms were all bloody from skidding on the sidewalk. But honest the worst part of it was having to explain to her what had happened.
 
tweaver said:
Last December I stopped by my girlfriends house after work. She has this huge blow up snow globe in her front yard, and I was inside talking to her I forgot something In my car so I ran out to grab it.... its freezing and I just have a T-shirt on so on my way back I sprinted to get inside. I didn't see the rope holding the globe in place and ate sidewalk hard :( ruined my brand new jeans. Messed up her globe. My hands and arms were all bloody from skidding on the sidewalk. But honest the worst part of it was having to explain to her what had happened.
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lol @ skidding on the side walk...
 
I was going over this fine azz girls house with a fresh new pair of air force 1s.

Well I guess u shouldn't walk across peoples lawn, cuz I was walking through these peoples fresh green grass & phucked up my air forces by method of some dog shít.
Looked like human shít cuz it was big... Tried to rub most of it off in the grass;
Go ring the door bell an go in and sit on the couch then I hear her mom say what in the phuck, this house smells like shít all of a sudden! "Did some1 shít them selfs?"

I was thinking oh boy, then she came into the living room and saw a black "skid" on her lavish white carpet..... she said "oh phuck, I'm replace this whole carpet now, WTF happened here!!" I chuckled a bit.... I had to leave cuz her mom was on some bullshít after that.
 
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