Alright, I feel like this thread needs some resurrecting. This is a story from my travel journal this summer. This story isnt my most embarassing event but the situation was embarassing enough and it was probably Nathan's most embarrassing moment of his life. It occurred on the night of Tuesday June 7th, 2011. Yo is our tour guide. Pete and nathan are british kids around my age (22) and Tristan is a 30 year old brit. It takes place our first and last night in Vientiene, Laos. It's also my first night drinking in Asia after being there for a little over a week.
The whole group went to dinner at a really nice restaurant (for Laos). The group was about 10 strong, 5 girls, 5 guys all around 18-23 besides tristan being 30. I had amazing beef kabobs. We got 2 3 liter beer taps brought to the table that had an ice tube in the middle that kept the beer cold without adding water.
After dinner Yo took the guys to the river bar. The river bar was really one of the only bars open in town and was only open until 11 or 12. It was located right next to the river. On the way to the bar I bought a pair of bamboo sandals. Then we all bought Lao t shirts, legit local ones.
At the bar we order another 3 liter tap. I sit down by myself, and this american girl from south Carolina named clarissa comes over and decides to hit on me. she had a horrible opening line of can i borrow your lite with a lit cigarrette. I didnt care and gave her a lite anyways and just thought wow, this bitch is horny. The boys joined us and then we invited her gay friends to join our table. We all started playing never have I ever and the topic stuck to sex. Halfway through the 3 liter I decide it's a good idea to add the amphetamine redbull to the beer. (redbull in southeast asia is the original recipe invented by Kraeting Daeng, which contains amphetamines) The guys liked the idea and insisted on adding 2 more redbulls, 1 redbull per liter of beer. We end up getting another 3 liter with 3 redbulls. Pete spills a drink all over me and then on himself to be fair and then on the girl and then he told her to get naked with us, but that didn't work. All of a sudden, we were all wired. The bar was closing and Pete scared away clarrisa because he kept talking about a 5 way, us 4 and her. So we decided to hit on the prostitutes that hang out at the bars. I see Pete coming out of the bathroom followed by 2 homos and a ladyboy. Nathan is hitting on the ladyboys, not realizing that they were dudes (i had a picture of this and the next morning Nathan steels my camera and deletes all the incriminating evidence hahaha). Pete knew and made out with him anyways just for fun and just for a second. (Pete was an pro hockey player for a couple seasons on the french national team and is a born and raised Gordie, hes a lot like a football locker room jock, totally straight but the first to slap your ass when he thinks your doing a good job.) We all took a picture together and one of the homos caught me off guard right as the pic was being taken by grabbing my dick. I still have the pic and its pretty hilarious.
Then we go outside and met a group of britts with a token American. They led us to the only bar that was open which was a brothel. Inside the bar, we were being drunk idiots hitting the top of eachothers 22oz beerlaos making a mess. Asking whores how much but then we found out that that's not how things are done there. We decide to keep making fun of them and trying to get them to show us their tits for free. I go outside, smoke a cigarrette with my friend Pete and he breaks one of my sandals. Nathan and I pick up two prozzy's and we ride on their motor bikes to the hotel but realize the hotel is locked (very stupid and dont know what we were thinking, if it werent for the redbull we probably would have been sleeping in the gutter by then). So nathans girl tells me to take off my other shoe and then tells Nathan to give me his sandals. Now we have 2 sandals between the two of us. We decide we are pulling an all nighter, so we go to the club. As we walk into the club, we thought we were gonna get jumped and robbed so I start giving away cigarettes to all the locals. We get into the club and there is broken glass everywhere and we have one sandal each. All the tourists from the brothel are at the club. I spend the rest of my money on one more redbull that nathan and I split. Nathan tries to kiss his prozzy and she doesn't let him so he goes off and starts dancing and making out with another chick. He says he has pu-ssy lined up and we should leave. As I'm walking out with him and his girl, some random girl just runs up and grabs me. They drive us back to our hotel on the motorbikes. While I was on the motorbike the girl asked me if my friend liked ladyboys and i asked if she was a ladyboy and she said no but the other girl is. She said not to tell my friend. I didnt know where I was and I wanted the free ride home so i didnt say a thing. But once I saw the Adams apple, I kept pointing at my neck and signaling to Nathan but he didn't get it. So when we got back, we banged on the gate to get in. I kept telling nathan adams apple, but it didnt click. The guy opens it and says no girls. Nathan says "fack this, I'm gonna get pu-ssy tonight." Nathan jumps on the motorbike and rides away with the lady boy. In no more than 2 seconds they are gone and around the corner. I run after yelling Lady Body but I didnt get his attention. I ditch my girl and run upstairs, bang on tristan and my room and tell him the whole story to him. I'm freaking out because I thought he might have died and that I should have just dragged him inside.
Tristan tells me to take a sleeping pill otherwise the redbull would keep me up all night. Its 4 in the morning and we have to leave at 9. so i take the pill and fall asleep.
At 7:30 the next day, we wake up to a knocking on my hotel room's door. Nathan is there, walks in and just gives me a big hug. He claims i saved his life. "His story" of the rest of the night goes as follows: he leaves our hotel, barefoot, on the back of the ladyboy's motorbike. He about 5 min goes by and he finally realizes that she had an adams apple. He told her to stop the motorbike and then jumped off and walked away saying "fack off you dirty little mudblood." Continued walking back and ran into a group of ladyboys that were offering him blow jobs and he said "fack off you dirty mudbloods." Luckily he found a tuk tuk (pos taxi) and got a ride back to the hotel.
As for my friend Pete, this is "his story" of the rest of his night. He too got a ride home from a prostitute after the brothel. It was funny nathan and i are on the back of 2 prozzy's motorbikes and see pete on the back of another prozzy's motorbike at the intersection as we left the hotel because we thought it was locked and as he was heading towards the hotel, but he was smart enough to bang on the front gate and wake the guy up in order to let him into the hotel. His prozzy drives the motorbike into the lobby of the hotel and refuses to leave. Pete goes to his room tries to lock her out and she starts banging on his door waking up the girls that were doing the tour with us. So he lets her in and he has a roommate for the night named Huw from wales. Pete and Huw hide all the valuables in the room and pretend to go to sleep waiting for her to leave. Meanwhile she was making sex noises and asking for money. huge language barrier... after about an hour she leaves.
just slapped it last night btw hehe
