I do understand your point. Let me first point out that the LGBTQIA community (how many letter are they going to add?), as well as a significant portion of the leftist/ liberal community, vehemently argues that gender is not determined by physical characteristics (e.g. the possession of male/female genitalia or male/female chromosomes, for example), but is a "mental" state of being. Therefore, one can have a penis and male chromosomes, yet technically be a "female"...according to them. The TG community feels very strongly about this...and a TG person will take great offense to anyone who says or even infers that they are anything but the sex of their choosing.
One thing that is important to understand here is that the TG community believes that all TG people are "fully" woman/man, according to the sex of their choosing (a belief that that has gained widespread support from the entire LGBTQIA community, as well as a large portion of the leftist/liberal community). In fact, they believe this so strongly that it has become a political movement, with the formation of activist groups, public "educational" meetings being held all over college campuses, propaganda being spread all over the country/world through as many avenues as possible, etc...
So, if the TG community truly believes they are FULLY the sex of their choosing (they are very adamant about this), then they would NEVER kill themselves for the reason you proposed (you proposed that the post-op suicide rate is so high because they know they will never actually be a man/woman and therefore feel life is pointless). In other words, the TG community completely disagrees with you! Remember, according to them, being a man or a woman is all in one's head and therefore, if one believes they are a man/woman, that is exactly what they are. Sound silly? Of course it does, but this is EXACTLY what they are proposing and it has potentially dire consequences for everyone who disagrees with them. As it is now, anyone who isn't on board with their philosophy is labeled as intolerant and if someone happens to disagree publicly, they are accused of using "hate speech".
Did you know the LGBTQIA, leftist/liberal communities are now hard at work trying to OUTLAW the practice of referring to TG people by anything other than terms of their own choosing? They actually want to make it ILLEGAL for anyone to refer to them by their natural sex...and they've already succeeded in Canada! In Canada an actual LAW was passed, making it not only illegal to refer to TG people by their natural sex, but compelling the general public to refer to them by a name(s) of their own choosing...and a failure to do so is considered a CRIME enforceable by law! This is government mandated compelled speech and violates free speech!
This is actually the crux of the issue..because if the government officially proclaims that these people are not actually men/women, then society (including the LGBTQIA/ leftist/ liberal community) would be forced to admit the truth, which is that these people are actually mentally ill and in dire need of help. On the other hand, if the government says these people are indeed men/women, then referring to them as anything but the sex of their choosing is considered intolerance/ hate speech and (if they get their way here in the U.S.) a crime punishable by law. This is only the tip of the proverbial iceberg; a small part of a MUCH larger agenda intended to corrupt the moral/ethical standards society has held to for millennia. They proclaim old moral standards to be outdated and ignorant...while referring to their own standards as a leap forward in human evolution and understanding, but I digress...
Getting back to the point at hand, I think it is important to emphasize the fact that these people are fighting tooth and nail for their beliefs to be societally and legally accepted. This either makes your reason for their depression/suicide rate utter rubbish...or it makes them a bunch of LIARS who are doing everything they can to push their own distorted view of reality down everyone's throats. This is absolutely SICK! Even you have the good sense to see (probably without even knowing all the issues going on) that these people are not actually men/women. You even said yourself that they KNOW they aren't really men/women and that it is the reason for their depression/suicide rate! It was your entire point! Why do you think you thought that? Because it is blatantly obvious to anyone that doesn't live in denial that a person can't become a man/woman just because they want to be--that there is a whole lot more to being a male/female than just outward appearance and hormones.
You know what I think? I think a significant percentage of the TG community believes the same thing you and I do; that they know they aren't really the sex of their choosing, but they will never admit it because it would destroy everything they are working towards, both politically and societally. Instead, they're trying to force people--by way of law and through societal condemnation--to not only accept their delusion, but to publicly approve of it through government mandated compelled speech...and even worse, to criminalize anyone who refuses to comply with their false view of reality--a reality many of them don't even believe in themselves! Unbelievable!!!
In my opinion, anyone who tries to legally force someone--via threat of criminalization--to accept a belief that they don't even believe themselves, is the worst of the worst. I don't care what someone wants to believe...and I believe people should be able to do what they want (within reason), but I don't want anyone telling me what I have to believe. It's even worse when they try to force this belief on me to through legal means...and even worse still when they try to force a belief on me they don't even believe themselves! This is perverse wickedness and it typifies a large portion of the TG community, who are not only mentally ill, but morally corrupt as well. Anyone who attempts to coerce another human being to believe what they want, especially in the absence of their own belief, is morally reprehensible.
With that said, do you still think the reason for their depression/ suicide rate is because they know they can never really be the sex of their choosing and therefore see life as pointless? If so, then at the very minimum you are calling them liars...and after learning what they are trying to do both politically and societally, you would also be forced to admit that they are a threat to everyone (including yourself) who does not entertain their delusions.
It is also interesting to point out that not only are TG people equally as depressed/unhappy post-op, but a significant portion of them transition back later in life. If not being "fully" male/female was the main reason for their depression/ suicide rate, why would they transition back? Wouldn't that be the worst possible decision if happiness was the goal?
Personally, it seems to me that if their unhappiness stemmed from not being fully male/female, the LAST thing they would want to do is make it even more obvious they aren't the sex of their choosing.
As more and more time goes by, the research is revealing that neither societal nor self-acceptance of one's natural sex is the reason for their suicide rate. It is because they hate themselves, period. This is exactly why they are no happier post-op...and why they often choose to transition back. Unfortunately, despite expressing the desire to transition back, many cannot afford to. There are also others who, while they don't want to transition back, they wish they never would have transitioned in the fist place. The reason they don't want to transition back isn't because of money, it's because they have built their entire life around their post-op sex...and believe they would encounter even more problems if they transitioned back. So, they just stay the way they are, but wish they never would have done it in the first place.
You see, a lot of these people don't realize that their unhappiness isn't gender related until AFTER they make a full transition. Then, after a while, when their lives don't improve, they start to ask themselves why they are still unhappy and have no peace. Many of them eventually come to the truth, which is that gender was never the core reason for their unhappiness. They simply confused what they thought was a gender issue with a much deeper issue; one of self-acceptance/ self-love. It is not difficult to understand how this happens to people.
Let's look at a fictitious young girl named Brittany, as an example. There are many girls and boys, like Brittany, whose gender confusion starts at a very young age and continues to progress until they come to the belief that they should be/are the opposite sex. For Brittany, it started when her Mom started saying things like "why don't you like to wear dresses like all the other little girls?" and only got worse as society's expectations continued to conflict with her own nature. Before long, Brittany realized she wasn't like other girls. She didn't want to play with dolls like other girls, play dress-up, put on make-up, or even watch the same TV shows that other girls liked to watch. At the same time, she started to realize that she was naturally drawn to many of the activities and interests that boys seemed to be involved in.
By her late teens Brittany felt completely out of touch her her female body and started to think she should have been born a boy instead. She related better to boys and it seemed that if she could just be a boy, everything would "make sense". At that point it didn't take much for her to start entertaining the thought that maybe she had a male brain and that it was her body that didn't belong. She reasoned that maybe, somewhere in the womb, a mistake had occurred, and what should have entered this world as a boy, accidentally came into it with a girls' body. She was never supposed to have a girl's body. She was the victim of an unfortunate genetic amalgamation...a mix up. Nature "got it wrong" and it needed to be corrected.
Because Brittany thought she had a male brain, she believed that becoming a male would be the key to lifting her chronic depression and would finally enable her to fit-in in the world and be the person she was always supposed to be. Yes, she was certain that going under the knife was the only solution to her problems, but what Brittany did not realize at that time is that being a girl was never the source of her unhappiness. It was her perceived self-assessment (who she thinks she is/should be), based on society's "typical" understanding of what constitutes male/female behavior and desires, that ultimately led to gender confusion and consequently, her unhappiness. In the end, it was her false understanding of what a girl is/must be that caused her to believe she had a male brain and make the decision to undergo gender reassignment surgery.
Often, it isn't until after the surgery, when their depression isn't lifted, that TG people realize gender was not the core source of their unhappiness. So, while it may be true that part of their unhappiness is due to the things you've pointed out, they certainly aren't the main reason. These people aren't killing themselves because they can never fully be the sex they wanted to be. They are killing themselves because they hate themselves at a level that goes beyond gender. They need help. What they don't need is to be told that their delusions are real...and then further enforce those delusions by structuring society around them. That is why I am opposed to things such as "transgender bodybuilding contests"--because it enforces these delusions. Also, based on what has been going on recently, it is also apparent that they serve to further embolden the extreme far leftist/ liberal lunatics (I said "extreme" leftist/liberals, as I certainly do NOT believe all leftists or liberals are lunatics) in their pursuit of an "anything goes" society, which I do not think is healthy or sustainable.