The week was perfect! untill tonight.... WOMEN! UGH!

BigJack87

New member
Monday was awesome, Got back to lifting yesterday, and today was pretty good as well. Untillllll about an hour ago.

Yes theres a girl involved, we've been friends for years and she's one of the people I really care about. And there could never be anything there.... or so I thought.

Alright so me, my friend, my sister, and her friend we're all out this weekend. My sisters friend likes me (I don't like her, although we messed around back in the day, which only complicates sh*t), and doesn't understand that this other girl was JUST a friend. So she tryed to play obstacle all night, which WASN'T necessary at all. But she did a pretty d*mn good job appearently because me and my friend couldn't talk without her making some smartass comment aimed at me. Now normally after awhile I'd let her know whats what. But this girls dad just died and I feel bad for her, even if she is taking advantage of the fact, which alot of people say she is. Needless to say it was a very stressful night and my sister and her friend succeeded in seperating me and my friend (:cockblockedsad:), who they are now friends with.

I havn't talked to her since then. Well today we're all at the same place, and my friend doesn't bother to say hey, so I don't. One of my buddies came over and talked to me for a bit though.... and heres where everything started sucking nuts.... you know what he told me? She got naked for him tonight.

Now on the outside, I'm chill. But inside its pretty much like > :ugh: :cussing: :wtf: :banghead: :angryfire: :indifferent: :(

I don't know if I'm just jealous or what. But the thought of him getting her topless bothers me, pisses me off, makes me sad/worried. It does sound alot like it could be jealousy huh? Or I've actually liked her and it took this to realize? I really don't know.

And I hate to say anything bad about my bud, but he's the loveable loser type and I have no f*cking clue how he managed that.... Which adds to my confusion because I never have a problem with it.... So its almost likes shes either a) playing games. or b) shes a skank that'll flash anybody and I've just never asked to see 'em lol

I've been thinking about talking to her about what happened the other night/apologize for the argument, but she doesn't seem to want to talk and I know better than to go chasing after conversation with a woman who wants to be left alone. And hell I don't even know if apologizing would be the right thing to do.
 
WALK AWAY!!! Its BS, games, dosent matter who is playing the game, just walk....you dont need the BS.....My motto, I live in a drama free zone............

TC

Good luck and if this came across as harsh I am sorry, just very tired (double shift) and sick of people trying to play games...........
 
Jack, at your age, the females you're around are unfortunately gamers, for the most part. There are occasional exceptions. They get some strange adrenaline kick from drama. Manipulation is a pass time. They have goods you guys want and like to dangle those goods in exchange for attention. Choose wisely whom you take into your heart, even as a good friend. If you don't fall for the game-playing, you'll gain a respectable, untouchable, you-can-come-around-but-don't f*-with-me status. THAT'S what females love.
 
Yeah I don't need the BS. But we've been friends and never thought about dating why would she just start with games all of a sudden.

I've been sitting here going over some things in my head and I think I need to stand up as a man and take charge and forget all this BS like it never even happened.

I don't think I should of just sat back and not said anything when we were at the same place and mutual friends were there...

I like this girl, but I'm not gonna chase after her. After all, I'm the man, and the mans job is to LEAD!

In fact thats probably how my buddy got to see her naked, I'm sure he just sort of lead things/conversation in that general direction and it "just happened".
 
Dude, run away fast. It will lead to nothing but problems. Believe me....
 
try talking to her get some coffee explain to her how u r worried for her what she means to you. maybe she is trying to get your attention no offence to all the woman, but alot of time u guys dont know what u want, and hurt us. so my main advice is get some coffee with her talk to her do something physical like walk to soemthign with her. when you do this ppl tend to open up more when (long story as to explain why psychologically) and one more thing....... ITS JUST BOOBS. im sure if i saw her face i could guesstimate 98% how hers loooked. so go talk to her (and not over the phone or your place or hers) needs to be a neutral territoty face to face and BEEEEE POLITE!!!!! VERY POLITE in the conversation this tends to also open ppl up to you more
 
dg806 said:
Dude, run away fast. It will lead to nothing but problems. Believe me....
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Amen. Sorry, Jack. All that you said is very true about men being the leaders, but it kind of sounds like maybe she's under your skin even if it's as a friend. I'd advise you to make some distance between her and yourself for a while. If she contacts you, you're busy. If she presses, heck, tell her you were bothered by this deal enough to need to make space. Time will help you process it. Don't feel as you have to figure it all out right away. When I have something bugging me and I realize I either can't fix it right away, or that there's not an easy answer, rather than letting it eat at me, I have developed the mental disipline to "file it away." In my mind, I take the issue and put it in a folder, close the folder and lay it to the side. I'll deal with it later when it's not so fresh. We make better decisions when emotions have settled.
 
Never get this caught up on one woman when there's like a million more out there. Be happy for your buddy and be unaffected by all of this. Get out there and have fun man, be a high value guy, and don't get caught up in drama like this. No offense to the ladies here, but that stuff is for females. While they're caught up in the weirdo drama, you need to be the guy that's out there having fun. Meet some other cool people to hang out with, hell, meet some more women.

Take a step back from all the ridiculous jealousy games and live a life of abundance. You'll be much happier for it!
 
Seeing as we are both about the same age, and single.. This reminds me of why i usually date older chicks(25-26).. Girls our age like to part and float around(for the most part) I have found that this phase wears off a bit after a few years. I think it has to do with the whole 21 experience. they can go out to tghe bars and do whatever... Just my take on things.. dont let it get to you... f*ck try my revenge plan... bang her best friend..works wonders..haha
 
Bro I am 22. Same age as you. I say screw women at this age for anything seroius anymore....They all want to play games, talk about getting seriuos, but have no idea how to actually do that. Most of em are just out to have a good time.

Have I given up hope for a good women to come along anymore. This is going to be a summer that for once in my life I say ENJOY IT! Instead of being the guy always taking care of everything or worrying.

I can understand being friends with someone you really like, and them showing interest in someone else.... Kinda stings a little, you get a bit jealous. Part of this messy game of life bro.

You either roll with the blows or sink with the hoes.

Take the punchs, taste the blood, roll with the blow, take a leap of faith, and hit the ground running. Any involvement with a girl will bring about some kind of emotional pain. Its a guarantee my dear friend.
 
Thanks guys...

I can't just "run away" from her though. I mean we've been good friends for 4 or so years. We've talked about everything under the sun and normally when we're around each other it's an awesome time. We just recently started chillin' again though after awhile of not talking (nothing bad, just busy). And like I said my sisters friend caused problems that night because she's jealous. And last night she appearently caused problems again... but I wasn't there for that BS (hallelujah! lol)

Today I talked to my sister about LAST NIGHT... and heres what she said (This happened earlier in the night before we all ended up at the same place)

"we were sittin' there and I was like "man I wish jack coulda been here, but he had to work" and she was like "yeah" but you know how girls are with the whole esp thing and I knew she was upset/sad so I was like "he really is sorry about the other night" cause I know you are and I thought she should know. And then she told me "you don't understand, we don't even date and we we're arguing like we did. He made me cry, and I don't cry. & it's been awhile since we talked and I was excited that we were starting to get close again and then when he was standing there with his arms crossed.... idk just everything broke loose at that point."

Had to leave before she could finish telling me about the night but now I feel like sh*t. I had no idea I made her cry this weekend? She really doesn't cry, like I have a hard time seeing that.... and I have an even harder time believing it was over me? I'll get the rest of the story tonight...

As for liking her... I think I was just jealous, I mean she's cute, I COULD like her... but above all she's my best friend and I love and care about her and I don't know what to do which completly and totoally SUCKS!

and zero... I agree 100% with the non-serious attitude. This summer will also be my first just livin' it up and havin' a blast without worrying! It's gonna take a concious effort... but I think I can pull it off without TOO much trouble :fing02:
 
I feel for you. Give it time.

And like I said, she's under your skin, bro! :wave2:
 
It sounds like you really respected this girl, and it was something you never would have expected her to do. I can definitely see why you're upset if that's the case. Let me tell you this...

If you find this girl attractive, it has NEVER been just a friendship. Men don't have that ability...Women do, but men just don't. We're always going to want something more.

It's the reason why you don't hang out one-on-one with the opposite sex when you're married. Things just develop. Men and women were made to be partners, lovers, and soul-mates, not "just" friends.

People trick themselves into believing it's possible, but it never is.
 
Irish Cannon said:
It sounds like you really respected this girl, and it was something you never would have expected her to do. I can definitely see why you're upset if that's the case. Let me tell you this...

If you find this girl attractive, it has NEVER been just a friendship. Men don't have that ability...Women do, but men just don't. We're always going to want something more.

It's the reason why you don't hang out one-on-one with the opposite sex when you're married. Things just develop. Men and women were made to be partners, lovers, and soul-mates, not "just" friends.

People trick themselves into believing it's possible, but it never is.
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I hear what he is saying. I do have a couple female friends I can be great friends with, but I have zero attraction to them. Then I have a couple female friends, one especially that if I had the chance, I would marry her! lol. Plus I cant hang around my ex even though she wants to. She doesnt understand. Once a guy see's you as a mate....he always will. There is no "friend".

My rules with my ex is this. Call me if you need my help, I will come help. Call me if you are in trouble, I will come help. Call me if your in a jam, I will come help. Call me to come hang out, and you will piss me off. Weird huh, but thats the rules. Only call me if you need me. And I only do that because I will always care, plus she is not some one who can face anything alone.

Life is a big mess of ?s and !s and *s amd ?!?!s lol.

Live it baby, live it. I spent the night riding in the back of a pickup truck with friends, and walking on a trail laughing it up. No reason not to be chillll.
 
jay21 said:
try talking to her get some coffee explain to her how u r worried for her what she means to you. maybe she is trying to get your attention no offence to all the woman, but alot of time u guys dont know what u want, and hurt us. so my main advice is get some coffee with her talk to her do something physical like walk to soemthign with her. when you do this ppl tend to open up more when (long story as to explain why psychologically) and one more thing....... ITS JUST BOOBS. im sure if i saw her face i could guesstimate 98% how hers loooked. so go talk to her (and not over the phone or your place or hers) needs to be a neutral territoty face to face and BEEEEE POLITE!!!!! VERY POLITE in the conversation this tends to also open ppl up to you more
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i think im gonna get sh*t for this from the women on here so i apologize but you know its true ladies :tongue2: ..ive never tried it myself but the guys i know who do ask girls to get coffee and go on walks are looked at as creepy and laughed off. especially if she wasnt interested in you in the first place. if you still want to be her friend then be nice and polite but DO NOT show any interest in her anymore than that and dont be overly nice. talk to other girls but dont try and show her that your talking to other women just act natural. the more girls know you want them the less they want you. the more they think your not into them the more there into you. lol im not kidding man and i know some of my guys on here agree. do that and you can rep me in a month or two when shes all over you :sly:
 
Mytime... Trust me I know the whole do not show interest thing. And you pretty much have to frame everything as her chasing you, its like self fulfilling prophecy almost.

Basically what happened is in the few months we havnt talked my mindset/belief has changed regarding certain behavior. like things that are just a natural everyday part of life for me, are in her mind important and show interest. So I guess a lot of what I do could be seen as interest on my part even though its not.
I sent her a text basically saying i know everythings f*cked up right now and I'm sorry for that but i value our friendship and want it to pull through the BS. Of course its worded a bit better but that's the gest of it.

whatever happens happens :)
 
It's obvious your in her friends category now. Thats why she got naked for another guy and not you. You failed to lead, escalate the relationship and be a man.

You know whats the best advice for you. Forget about this chick and start seeing other women immediately. It's the easiest and most surefire way for you to get over this 4 year friendship/wannabe relationship you have in your mind now.

If you have a good social circle don't go out with your sister and her friends anymore if they cockblock you.
 
that text you sent her....yeaaa that was a big FAIL you should not have done that..that right there saying " o i know everything is f*cked up blahblah i still want to be friends " was a horrible idea. i really hope you didnt send that AFTER reading what i had told you. your best bet now is to ignore her and act like it doesnt bother you. but good luck man and if it doesnt work out then just find a new girl as impossible as it seems time will change everything :)
 
wow thanks guys :worried:. I really don't want to date her (I thought it over, she's just a friend) I just wanted to neutralize all this and let her know I really didn't mean to make her cry/my friendship is still open to her etc.... But from the responses sounds like all I did was make myself look like an idiot? GREAT!


Time to hit the weights and get my mind off of things.....
 
BigJack87 said:
wow thanks guys :worried:. I really don't want to date her (I thought it over, she's just a friend) I just wanted to neutralize all this and let her know I really didn't mean to make her cry/my friendship is still open to her etc.... But from the responses sounds like all I did was make myself look like an idiot? GREAT!


Time to hit the weights and get my mind off of things.....
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bro there will be thousands of times ur gona go great....might as well hit the weights..... over things.
 
cuddle bitch ya we have all been there, or the 2nd "bf" when her **** bf isnt their there is a emotion bf, ..... it so hard to find a good girl these days its like they have all lead poisiong in their head.... i hate the "im the **** ur the bf thing"
 
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