Remember that last contest I had and no one cared???

[Whiskey Steve]

My Official Entry

I will give you some imagery with rhyming; how does that sound.

My Paradise

Let me take you away, to a far off place,
here you'll lay in the sand, the sun out of your face.
Feel the warm breeze as it blows through your hair,
hear it glide through the trees, this sweet smelling air.
There are palm trees about, two holding a hammock,
in which lie's a girl, a local, named Hannah.
Her skin so fine, her hair so soft,
you'll lie there together, in the hammock aloft.
There's a band playing music, a short ways away,
their song so pretty, so calming you'd say.
The weather is perfect, yet almost too hot,
go play in the water, you're the one she's sought.
A man's brought you drinks from a bar up the shore,
feel your spirit delight, this place you adore.
Here there's no buildings, no houses, no clutter,
just straw tents where you lay, sweet words she will utter.
Your mind is clear from all business and fear,
all you have to do is enjoy yourself here.
Wasn't that nice, it's my paradise,
go there whenever you'd like.

*******Now that's poetry. Judge me by this poem, I feel its one of my best.*******

EDIT: more specifics.

In this poem 101, which surely has won,
the one where you lay and bask in the sun.
Hanna the native is indeed European,
her parents moved to this Island that may be in the Caribbean.
They moved there from Sweden before she was born,
now all of the people see their child and adore.
Hanna the native speaks perfect English,
she was taught English rather than Swedish.
She is the dream, with tan skin, and blond hair,
a clone of Tiger Woods' wife, waiting for you there.

 

[danTman2]

not 8 mile-ish

 

[3clipseGT]

While ur on the sand basking in the sun,
ill take my whey protein on the run,
talk about romantic and uttering sweet things,
i dont know what to say about what sunday brings,
this is a good contest for we all are having some fun,
but its time to make yall say ur done,
I like spittin poetry and rhymes it just seems my thing,
unlike you my friend who might as well sing,
this aint no 8 mile its just a contest,
but if you cant keep up step off the like the rest.

 

[Whiskey Steve]

While ur on the sand basking in the sun,
ill take my whey protein on the run,
talk about romantic and uttering sweet things,
i dont know what to say about what sunday brings,
this is a good contest for we all are having some fun,
but its time to make yall say ur done,
I like spittin poetry and rhymes it just seems my thing,
unlike you my friend who might as well sing,
this aint no 8 mile its just a contest,
but if you cant keep up step off the like the rest.

You are the first i have heard, that drinks a shake when thirsty.
I dont drink shakes and run, while sweaty and dirty.

i agree with vrunga, lets not battle back and forth. lets just do our own poems.

Poem 101 will go unmatched in eloquence and beauty,
they will award me the whey for theyll feel it a duty.
Let the best man win, thats what they say,
but theyll forget the contest and dwell in my paradise all day.

 

[BigVrunga]

This child, he cries out
Mother, please change his soiled pants
Im busy training

 

[3clipseGT]

Alright sounds good to me. Lets see here. This is fun though, i havnt done this before. It sucks only one of us could win though.

When i get up and depart on my morning ventures,
i breathe in the cool brisk air,
I then see a beautiful women and make sweet sweet gestures,
she comes over to me and kisses my cheek,
im so awe struck that i cant even speak,
my heart take a flutter and i begin to stutter,
i dont know what to do and have no clue what to say,
i just dont want this feeling to go away,
her eyes are so bright,
and her hair so long,
i gathred up all my might,
to sing her a song,
as i did that she starter to smile,
so we sat there some more for quite a while.

:hammer:

 

[Whiskey Steve]

The Life After This

I lie on soft grass, my mind free of concern,
for my life has ended, paradise I did earn.
This is a place for the loving and meek,
a place that surely the righteous do seek.
Here there's no hunger, no hate, no fear,
just love and joy, your mind so clear.
I dwell with my Grandpa's, and their Father's before,
my life was righteous, my acts were so pure.
This scene I can have if I show forth my light,
LORD give me the strength to do all that is right.

 

[Whiskey Steve]

Christmas

Dream of the Stars, the Heavens, the Earth,
dream of your Glorious Saviors birth.
Think of this baby so bright an sure,
think of his life and his love so pure.
This time of year when your family's together,
remember what he gave in his loving endeavor.
He gave more than his life so us men and our wife, can lie down together in peace.
Without thoughts so gloom of destruction and doom that so surely would have been ours.
Let these thoughts trouble you no more, Christ opened the door, to salvation and life for all.

 

[Whiskey Steve]

I would encourage you all to love what is,
don't wish you had things that are his, or his.
Happiness is a state of mind,
only obtained through thoughts loving and kind.
Yes money is nice but take my advice there are things that are far more important.
Like your family, your loved ones, and all of your friends; all above those unlasting worldly cares.
Think of your self as "how blessed," rather than cursed.
This will bring love, abundance, and health,
all of the things which are true wealth.
In this world money's needed, no doubt about that,
but if you say you have plenty, you will never lack.
If you believe you have blessings the universe will give,
it will bring you everything you need and want to live.
But it wont stop here my dear friends I will say,
It will bring you everything you desire this day.

 

[BigVrunga]

..

 

[Whiskey Steve]

Lovers

The newly wed's lay alone by the fire,
partaking of the once, forbidden desire.
They lay there and think of there future so bright,
they hold each other till day breaks the night.
They imagine a family, happy and healthy,
the man has a good job, no doubt they'll be wealthy.
So on this wonderful night they fad off to sleep,
they'll live so happy with each other to keep.

this ones kinda lame but i guess i leave it

 

[snakebyte05]

I think whiskey steve really wants some free protein, spending lots of time writing all these poems. lol, good luck winning it man!:thumbsup:

 

[Whiskey Steve]

thanks snakebyte, im having a lot of fun writing these.
To be honest I have actually never sat down and written a poem till now...... its really very fun and easy if you just try

 

[BigVrunga]

Tendrils of filth snake their way down my spine
Icy talons of guilt bleed black horror
As they carve their way though my mind
I pleaded I prayed, I cried and I wept
I begged for forgiveness as the night terror crept
My eyes filled with fear, my heart filled with dread
My eyes let loose a precarious tear,
As the nightmares scream in my head
From the serpintine murk, to devour me whole
Cursed from its birth from its heart straight through to its soul
An eternity passes with every shrill breath
I had wished for my life, but now I pray for my death
And now the horror stands near me, Im frozen with pain
With the screams of the tortured to drive me insane
Just get it over. End this! For the love of God let it start
For I know in mere moments he'll dissect me in parts
In a split second there's anguish,
Then numbness, and then I'm aware
The celiing, The walls
There's blood everywhere
I know Im still breathing,
and to my grevious chagrin
The Demon left me alive
But without any skin.

 

[Whiskey Steve]

Nice to see we're on the same page vrunga.......lol

i gotta go to bed, peace.

 

[rhunt000]

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I stand before you today
A crime has been committed in a very foul way
The evidence is clear, there is no doubt
That in the night air thieves were lurking about
As I slumbered with my family all cozy in bed
Treachery was moving full steam ahead
It was painfully obvious, it was painfully clear
To all my opponents, the situation here
For in this battle of poetry I remained unscathed
While in a pool of sorrow, my competition bathed
So ladies and gentlemen of the jury, it is clear to me today
That these thieves were trying to steal my precious whey
You must convict them now of this devious plot
Man that SJA sure is hot

 

[uhockey]

We were dancing in the pale moon light
When she flexed her bicep and to my delight
A vein popped out that looked like a hose
I could feel her hard muscles through her clothes
She grabbed my hand and we began to walk
I was so nervous, I couldn't even talk
But "gettin' it on" wasn't on her mind
She showed me pleasure of a different kind
She walked up to the rack and loaded the bar
The sweat glistened off her body like a distant star
I asked her name as we sipped on our drink
She said, "It's Laura" and took the blender to the sink
I still dream of her often, but especially on squat day
Sweet memories of the night we went "All the Whey".

I'm impartial, I know none of you, and if this is a poetry contest, this should win. That's some clever ****.

 

[SJA]

I seriously have my work cut out for me here......WOW....this is a tough one :think: :think:

 

[BigVrunga]

Originally Posted by rhunt000
We were dancing in the pale moon light
When she flexed her bicep and to my delight
A vein popped out that looked like a hose
I could feel her hard muscles through her clothes
She grabbed my hand and we began to walk
I was so nervous, I couldn't even talk
But "gettin' it on" wasn't on her mind
She showed me pleasure of a different kind
She walked up to the rack and loaded the bar
The sweat glistened off her body like a distant star
I asked her name as we sipped on our drink
She said, "It's Laura" and took the blender to the sink
I still dream of her often, but especially on squat day
Sweet memories of the night we went "All the Whey".


I'm impartial, I know none of you, and if this is a poetry contest, this should win. That's some clever ****.

I agree!

 

[TheGreatHunt]

A man and a woman were driving down the road arguing about his deplorable infidelity. Suddenly the woman reaches over and slices the man's penis off! Angrily, the woman tosses it out the car window.

Driving behind the couple is a man and his 12-year-old daughter. The little girl is just chatting away with her father when all of a sudden the penis smacks on the windshield, sticks for a moment, then flies off. Surprised, the daughter asks her father, "Daddy, what the heck was that? " Not wanting to expose his 12-year-old daughter to anything sexual at such a young age, the father replies, "It was only a bug, honey."

The daughter sits with a confused look on her face, and after a few minutes she says, "Sure had a big dick, didn't it?"

LOVE it... HAHAH

1st

It was the first night I took a scoop of my brand new whey
When I shoved my fingers in the box, I couldn't help but to say
"Look here I know you haven't been touched before...
But if you give me a pump, I'll go down on you more"
Sitting there glistening and facing toward me
I couldn't help but stir the possibility
And later that night
My muscles were tight
I can't believe when I said I was on the Whey
I didn't have to worry because of the pill... BCAA
So every night after I came back from The Olympic Bar
I'd get into the parking lot and she was waiting in my car
Taking her top off, she'd just lay there
Still feeling a heavy pump, I'd just stare
I'd put my fingers in the box, and would stir her with delight
She'd go down real easy, if I shook her top to bottom for some of the night

2nd... Yeah, I can't Magickk, that was hilarious

 

[Whiskey Steve]

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I stand before you today
A crime has been committed in a very foul way
The evidence is clear, there is no doubt
That in the night air thieves were lurking about
As I slumbered with my family all cozy in bed
Treachery was moving full steam ahead
It was painfully obvious, it was painfully clear
To all my opponents, the situation here
For in this battle of poetry I remained unscathed
While in a pool of sorrow, my competition bathed
So ladies and gentlemen of the jury, it is clear to me today
That these thieves were trying to steal my precious whey
You must convict them now of this devious plot
Man that SJA sure is hot

Rhunt
There's been no cheating, no foul words this time,
just my peoms of beauty, my poems so divine.
I am no thief, just a preacher of peace,
calming the minds of these members with ease.

In my poem 101, which surely has won,
the one where you lay and bask in the sun.
Hanna the native is indeed European,
her parents moved to this Island that may be in the Caribbean.
They moved there from Sweden before she was born,
now all of the people see their child and adore.
Hanna the native speaks perfect English,
she was taught English rather than Swedish.
She is the dream, with tan skin, and blond hair,
a clone of Tiger Woods' wife, waiting for you there.

I added the second part of this post to my poem 101 to make is more vivid.

 

[wideguy]

You've been the end to relationships

Still always there when I was alone

At times you've even made me feel like I was cheating when I'd turn off my cell phone

Why can't she understand all I wanted was to share?

How can she be hurt by someone who only cares enough to care?

Fact is she's not the only one who's looked at me like I'm insane
When I'm contantly getting larger but still constantly say "I need to gain"

Am I driven by pain?

Do I have some type of disorder?

Or is it just my primal instincts that long for the self slaughter?

What is it about the weight that puts my worst day back in order?

What's the point of even asking now just realize that she has left.

She's not like me and most aren't, the pain of that should equal one more rep.

 

[BigVrunga]

All this talk of love lost
Of beaches and passion
Writing like that
Is eighty years out of fashion
You cry like a bunch of ladies
Letting their emotions run free
Better head to Nutraplanet
And get some ReboundXT

 

[Whiskey Steve]

All this talk of love lost
Of beaches and passion
Writing like that
Is eighty years out of fashion
You cry like a bunch of ladies
Letting their emotions run free
No wonder Nutraplanet
Ran out of ReboundXT

You say, "you're out of style", you call us feminine,
When is it not stylish for men to love women?
You post was still funny, that I will say,
but in the future, please, don't tell us you're ___.

 

[Whiskey Steve]

If we are going to write real, eloquent, visual, poetry it will sound a little out of date. Nevertheless, I will continue to amaze you with this pure poetry when I get back from Church.

 

[Pioneer]

My Official Entry

Ill tell you a story of my luck I once had
I stood 5'9" 145 and i looked very sad
I was a small man a long time ago
That all changed due to some things you don’t know
I was pushed and shoved and my money taken
It wasn't long before a I didn't want to be waken
School was full of women I wish I knew
But all of them would always go askew
Time after time I was denied
I wish I had a dime for each time I tried
A rich man I would be
Due to all the ladies that wouldn't have me
As time went on I later gave up
I would sit on my computer and chill with my pup
My best friend until one day
I stumbled on a site that paved the way
Anabolicminds it was told
I shivered and it wasn't even cold
I researched and researched and told to research more
Until one day I had to go to the store
I got all the meat and clean foods I could see afar
Cart after cart I led to my car
Later that day I was led to an online store
It had "All the Whey" I needed I could not ask for more
Others would later look at my bill and begin to say oh no
Some say I was crazy but they don’t know
But I was on a mission to greatness
I would not stop unless I felt faintness
But even then I would not quit
I was on a mission to become fit
Swole they say
I worked out all day
Squats, benching and that horrible back exercise is what I did
Working like a dog was what I bid
Day after day, week by week, year after year
There was nothing in this world that I now fear
I am a rock and all the ladies love me
I could not have done it without the gods that be
That site called Anabolicminds still stands
Along with all the men and women that are fans
I tip my hat to the owners and the sponsors they gave me the chance
And I can not forget the members who gave my threads a glance
I still stand 5'9" but now I’ve got some mass
But those kids from long ago still look like ass

 

[SJA]

One last bash before I judge......I'm looking for humor in this last round.....I got both barrels full of snot and I'm ready to blow it on my monitor

 

[Whiskey Steve]

..

 

[Pioneer]

it should be one entry for each person, in order to judge fairly.

 

[Whiskey Steve]

I somewhat agree with pioneer.....scratch my post 128
Poem 101 was my eloquent one....
now ill come up with a funny one

Can we have until Eight o'clock before the final judging?
and again only one funny peom per person.

 

[BigVrunga]

I sat hushed by the fire
Contemplating a year
Christmas was coming
And in my heart, grew a fear
I really haven't been good
I knew that much was clear
But out of excitement
I started writing up quick
Of what I'd like to find under the tree
From dear old Saint Nick
So I started writing real fast
So I'd catch every thought
Thinking of supps that I needed
That I hadnt already bought
Creatine Ester and I dont know, let me see
Maybe some Oratropin or some PGH-T
Prohormones and vitamins
and knee wraps with an excellent weave
But Santa please keep that Clomid away
From my friend Whiskey Steve
And Santa, if you bring any protien
On the back of your seligh
Do you think instead of strawberry
I could get Egg Nog flavored Whey?
So I took the list I had written, and I folded it better
And I mailed it up north, I sent Santa a letter
Then I waited and waited
All anxious you see
The gym was closed due to snow
So I deadlifted my tree
Then I went off to sleep
And in the dreams I contrived
That all I wished was there waiting
When Christmas day did arrive
Morning had come! I was so damn excited!
I saw a giant box under the tree
My wish list must have been sighted!
Attached was a note,
That looked like it had been done by an elf
And low and behold, it was from Santa himself!

"BigVrunga, my lad, Im sorry to inform
That your behavior this year has been far from the norm
You've missed several workouts
And your diet's gone straight to seed
And yet you have the balls to write me a letter
And tell me just what you need.
Well Ive got a present for you
You no good cantankerous schlup
Now get your head out of your ass
And go open it up!"

I put down the letter
And I pulled up my socks
And I got straight to work
Opening up the enormous box

Well it wasnt my protien
Or goat weed
to help out with sex
It wasnt T-gel or creatine
or even phera-plex
I didnt get the nolva I asked for
or my PGH Kit
All that sat under my tree
Was a great big steaming pile of ****!

 

[wheystation]

Oh my gosh - I am soooooo glad that SJA is judging as I could not do it. I enjoyed each and every entry, though.

Laura

 

[3clipseGT]

Heres my last stab at something that probly wont happen for me. LOL

Humor tho it is.

So SJA you want humor you say,
if i make up some good poetry with humor will i win some whey?
I see uve got both ur nostrils filled with snot,
hopefully this poem is right on spot,
if i win this whey i can poop once a day,
unlike with my others i poop in dismay,
the gases in my stomach become so umcomfortable i cant stand it,
i just have to get on the toilet to take a crap like a bandit,
so if i win this whey ill be so happy,
and hopefully my stomach wont feel so crappy!

 

[rhunt000]

I thought that I'd been pretty darn funny
I thought my last few were right on the money
Of course there is no one as funny on any given day
As that incredibly hilarious SJA
I'm pretty tapped out from all this writing
I'm down to nubs from all the nail biting
Though I'm sure SJA could give me some motivation
There's no doubt about it, he's the greatest in the nation
Now I don't want you guys thinking that I'm kissing ass
If I've got to do that, well I'll just pass
'Cause I've dug deep within the pits of my soul
I've dug so much that I've left a hole
There's only one thing that can fill it back in
For without it I'm going to get thin
I've got to have that luscious whey
So I can be as big and strong as that
AWESOME
HANDSOME
HUNK OF A MAN
SJA

 

[Pioneer]

wow you guys need to wipe your noses off, theres some brown **** on it

haha kidding

 

[Whiskey Steve]

..

 

[BigVrunga]

man that's just nasty!!

 

[Whiskey Steve]

man that's just nasty!!

he he he

 

[SJA]

OK bitches!!!! Here is my judging....Laura has yet to announce the award for the best joke.

An impartial judge of words and wit
I spent a whole day reading this ****
A worldly lot creating word spew
With this kind of talent I don’t know what to do
When asked to judge, at first I was flattered
But whomever I pick, I’m sure to get battered
But I’ll do as was asked the sexy wino I am
I’ll do anything for Laura and those great set of yams
After reading the words submitted by all
The ones who competed are sure not to fall
For requesting from Laura more than one cup
She has graciously agreed to reward runners up
So for the best and the wittiest I’ll award here today
Ten pounds of the worlds best tasting whey
And for those who stand close to beating the winner
Shall be 5 pounds of whey to consume after dinner
So the man who shall win and stand over his foe
Is the man who we love to call Rhunt triple O
I figure he’s earned his ten pounds of whey
By taking a night with Laura and kissing my ass this day
His other two rivals (Whiskey Steve and Big V) were sure stunning
They were certainly close due to their cunning
So they both receive a 5 pound jug
To mix and dump down their cute little mugs
I’ve done my best to do my part
I hope that the lactose does not make you fart
I would suggest if that happens to you my mate
That you would be sure to order isolate
I’ve enjoyed this contest, I certainly was delighted
I hope that none of you is feeling slighted
As I’ve had to judge one of the hardest contests
It would break my heart to hear any protests
So just be happy for the winners be they big or small
And don’t come in here breaking my balls
No sense in coming here to act like an ass
Now let me take Laura back to my overpass
For a night in the stars and a roll in the hay
And spending her money that she’s made from the whey

 

[BigVrunga]

SWEEET! Congrats Rhunt you deserve it with that first poem bro, that was quite crafty!
Whiskey Steve, well done my brother

Thanks Laura and SJA, this was a heck of a lot of fun!!

BTW SJA, nice poem my man pour a glass of Whey for yourself

 

[Whiskey Steve]

Cool, i still feel i won first for my posts on page six. but i still won the original first place prize so why complain.
Thanks Laura and Wino

 

[Pioneer]

nice job to the winners.

 

[Whiskey Steve]

Rhunt and Vrunga were some tough competition.
most of the others rhymes were a little off beat and whatever.
this would be a hard comp to judge cuz when you get multiple entries that are perfectly rhymed how can you put one over the other.
I guess runt won because right at the beginning he had that awsome poem. Im pissed i didn't see this thread till after he posted that. Next time give us warning before you start and ill come running.

This thread was the ****, nice job everyone.
I hope they continue to do this in the future.

 

[B5150]

The "dead sexy wino" always takes his whey...'to-go' in a brown paper bag...

 

[Whiskey Steve]

by meowmeow:
Question: Why is a dick the dumbest thing in the world?

Answer: It has a head but no brain, an eye but can't see, hangs around with two nuts, lives around the corner from an asshole, and his
best friend's a pussy.

A boy awoke and wanted breakfast so he told his mother. She said, "Not until you feed the animals."
The boy went outside and said to the chicken, "I don't feel like feeding you today." So he kicked the chicken. He did the same with the cow and the pig. The boy then went back into the house and told his mother he was hungry. His mother said, "I saw you kick the chicken so you're not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow so you're not getting any milk and I saw kick the pig so you're not getting any bacon."
Just then the boy's father walked down the steps and tripped over and kicked the cat and the boy said, "Mom should I tell him?"

I would say that one of these two wins the best joke. I laughed my balls off at these

 

[Whiskey Steve]

How do we go about collecting our reward?

 

[rhunt000]

WOOOOO HOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Man this was more fun than I've had in a long time! Thanks SJA and Laura!!!! BigV and Whiskey and all the others, you guys were awesome!! I feel I've won more than just protein today, I feel I've won some camaraderie with some awesome people. Now, I've got to go clean off this nose!!!

Thanks again!!

 

[SJA]

Just stay tuned.....the Goddess shall appear with the best joke winner and will ask you to e-mail her your info.

 

[BigVrunga]

WOOOOO HOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Man this was more fun than I've had in a long time! Thanks SJA and Laura!!!! BigV and Whiskey and all the others, you guys were awesome!! I feel I've won more than just protein today, I feel I've won some camaraderie with some awesome people. Now, I've got to go clean off this nose!!!

Thanks again!!

That was a mighty display of ass kissing my friend, a mighty display indeed

 

[3clipseGT]

It really sucks that i didnt win,
i guess with no whey ill go thin,
thats ok tho because i had some fun,
but now i guess this contest is done,
thanks laura and SJA for judging this contest,
and Rhunt obviously shows at poems hes the best,
All congrats to Big v and whiskey steve,
hope ur 5 lbers are good that you recieve,
it might just be alittle longer before i try "all the whey",
but maybe it will happen, yes yes, some day.