Remember that last contest I had and no one cared???

[Whiskey Steve]

I dont mean to hurt, in this contest poets,
i just say what i say to win, you know it.

 

[Whiskey Steve]

As you read my rhymes your spirits sink,
when i read your rhymes i puke cuz they stink.
Rhunt cannot battle my words on this day,
his efforts all end with him appearing so gay.
Rhunt please dont battle me, just honor me, love me,
show me respect like you hot ass mommy.
Rhunt is a runt, he says it so clear,
when he tries to compete he looks like a queer.

 

[BigVrunga]

Whiskey Steve, I admit,
You force me to grin
Your body may be a temple
But it is made out of tin
A drunken fool who cowers
As my words thundered
You're like a kid in a Yugo
Trying to win the Indy 500
So do yourself justice
And just know when to stop
You're out of your league son,
I'm still here on top
On my Mountain Of Power
Just like Thulsadoom
While you sit there in your feces
Like a drunken baboon
These words will keep flowing
There's no end in sight
If you boys really want to do battle
Ill be here all night
I was feeling quite generous
But I see you can't even pronounce
I was going to send you a third
Now I wont even give you an ounce.

 

[rhunt000]

Big V is a bro and has a big heart
No doubt about it, he's pretty smart
Seeing his chances go up in flames
He offers to share, but he's playing games
Let it be said and let it be written
That all others chances have been smitten
By the hammer of talent that I do hold
Rhunt was the best is how the story will be told
And if snot flies from the nose of SJA
Just make sure you don't get any in my whey

 

[Whiskey Steve]

Rhunts night with a man makes our stomachs churn,
i must go do homework but i will return.
My rhymes will appear, so wonderfull and glorious,
compared to the fools that compete here be for us.
I have proven myself the winner this day,
i battled them all and blew them a whey.

 

[Whiskey Steve]

I mean no offense, i love you like brothers,
but not the same whey i make love to your mothers.
We're all very talented that is for sure,
but my rhymes are flawless, shining and pure.

 

[BigVrunga]

Guys this is great and Im having much fun
Right now I have to go get a tree
So I really must run
Dont make and decisions SJA, until I get back
Im bringing out the big guns
To launch my final attack!

 

[Whiskey Steve]

Vrunga says we sit home and toss our salads to please,
but why does he walk so awkward and bleeds.
His companion has loved him and he loved him back,
they kiss, they cuddle, they lic sac, and they wack

 

[3clipseGT]

You guys that are ryming, are so damn funny,
but im gonna win, and then ull have to fork out some money,
so please my friends, dont take offense,
But this childish game of poetry will commence,
Whats with you bein on SJAs nutts,
and talking about the other bros mothers being slutts,
Now with this i must go to work for the day,
and ill leave this board, taking myself and my whey.

 

[Whiskey Steve]

You call me a boy, chasing the stars,
with dreams of driving fast race cars.
Our dreams are different, yours wet, mine dry,
in yours you hold men, laugh, kiss and cry.

 

[Whiskey Steve]

GT, is no nut,
your mothers a slutt.
Tell us to fork out money,
fork you hunny.
Thats what they would say,
but i wouldnt, im not gay.
Leave this contest forever, not just today,
Dont walk up to the big boys and think you can play.

 

[rhunt000]

Whiskey Steve, we're all having fun
But you're not even close to being the one
That will claim victory on that glorious day
But you're trying hard I really must say
Yet your efforts are futile to say the least
It's obvious you fear me like the mark of the beast
Everyone sees through your shallow remarks
While I set these words ablaze, you render sparks
It is the light that I shine that allows you to see
Like the sun gives warmth my rhymes set you free
And let me make it clear that I'm definitely not gay
I just wish I looked as good as that sexy SJA

 

[Whiskey Steve]

Im not even close? man ive got you hosed,
just like the vien of the mans arm that held you so close.
You can call my efforts what you want,
you say that because your soul they haunt.
You think you're a beast, but you are far from it,
beauty kills the beast, and your pathetic sonnet.
For i am the one who shows forth the flame,
your flame is a social term aimed at you, your lame.
SJA is a stud, dont gock at him bud,
your proving to all that you play in the mud.

 

[Whiskey Steve]

I can whip out a rhym any time any place,
they can hurt you as much as a slap to the face.
I write my poems so clear and fast,
stick it in your ear, though youd like it in the ass.
The place where many a man has gone,
all after regretting because its so wrong.

 

[Whiskey Steve]

Someone gave me rep points on this thread today,
because im so whitty, and clever they say.

 

[snakebyte05]

Good stuff, I just think people should lay off the slut, your gay, and stuff like that, that doesn't seem to be the point of this contest. Leave that crap out. Other than that, keep the battle going.

 

[Whiskey Steve]

I was just doing it for lack of material......we mean no offense to each other right?
were just rhming being funny but ya, ill do my best to avoid it, and please everyone do not take personal any of my crude poems. They were for entertainment and fun for all, including those they were addressed to.

we were kind of combining the dirty joke and poem into one but your right, we'll try to "keep em separated". lol

 

[rhunt000]

Again so shallow, can't you look into your heart
Maybe you should try again, make a fresh start
Poetry is a reflection of the world around
Yours sounds a little messy, like you've run aground
Rise above it, I know you can
Now back up and make a new plan

 

[snakebyte05]

I wasn't offended or anything. Normally I would find them funny, it was just because this was a contest for free protein and im not sure laura wanted those kind of poems in here. That was the only reason I mentioned something.

 

[BigVrunga]

Ok guys Im back, and this is my last
I grow weary from dealing with those so outclassed
Rhunt, good show man
Your poems do amuse
But Im sure that Dead Sexy Whino
Can see straight through your ruse
Whiskey Steve, bro I love ya
And I dont mean to be crass
But if your rhymes were on paper
They'd be wiping my ass
To everyone else, you gave a valiant attempt
Heck Im not even Jewish
And Im getting verklempt
Through the Aeons and Ages
They'll say this was a worthwhile endeavor
But its these words that I write
That will be remembered forever
Etched in stone tablets
An eternal display
How BigVrunga the Man
Won that Five Pounds of Whey
So hang your heads low,
And admit your defeat
Just paypal me 10 dollars
That would be neat!
Hell, that would be just as sweet as molasses
Yeah, I said give me some cash
Does that boil your tepid blood gases?
Because now Im getting pissed off,
And Im about to beat down all your little wimp asses.

 

[Whiskey Steve]

Again so shallow, can't you look into your heart
Maybe you should try again, make a fresh start
Poetry is a reflection of the world around
Yours sounds a little messy, like you've run aground
Rise above it, I know you can
Now back up and make a new plan

Rhunt is right,
i was dirty in my fight.
I talked of sluts and mothers,
why would i say such things to my brothers?
I made crude jokes about gay sex and poo,
when i should really show kindness in all that i do.
My rhymes were no reflexion just a childish regression
to the potty mouth ages of youth.
Yet I'm the best poet and all of you know
it, for it is the shining truth.

 

[Whiskey Steve]

Well, here's my confession,
im a comedian by profession.
I make big money,
just for being funny.
At such a young age,
I'm a star of the stage,
but my talent shown here has only fueled your rage.
I dont stay at the clubs after performin,
cuz im underage and also im mormon.

 

[Whiskey Steve]

Instead of tearing down i will now turn to praise,
for we all deserve it for our poems these days.
I dont know Vrungra but hes funny as hell,
It's unfortunate that in this contest he'll fail.
Everyone praises his size and strength,
by the sound of there posts i assume your a tank.
Rhunt has been kind and we spit in his face,
why must this be such a foul and mean race.

I do not know who the winner will be,
but so far I would say, its looking like me.

 

[SJA]

WOW!!!! This has truly turned in to a competitive contest. what time would you like me to declare the winner Laura??

 

[B5150]

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children...
her uterus fell out.

...am I in the right thread :run:

 

[Whiskey Steve]

Im going to mix my whey in with my whiskey

 

[wheystation]

Oh my god.......this is really good stuff. SJA will declare the poetry winner on Sunday Night.

Thanks for your unusual prose.

Laura

 

[SJA]

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children...
her uterus fell out.

...am I in the right thread :run:

uuhhh.....I think the Dice-man thread was a while back. :run:

Glad to see that you are still around B.....how's things? As you can see, I've moved up in the world to judging poetry........I'll do anything for the queen of protein

Now let's hear some more.....where is Beelz and Kwyck?? I was certain that those meatballs would get out of Cuff's thread and join in at some point.:hammer: :hammer:

 

[3clipseGT]

uuhhh.....I think the Dice-man thread was a while back. :run:

Glad to see that you are still around B.....how's things? As you can see, I've moved up in the world to judging poetry........I'll do anything for the queen of protein

Now let's hear some more.....where is Beelz and Kwyck?? I was certain that those meatballs would get out of Cuff's thread and join in at some point.:hammer: :hammer:

Beelz and Kwyck,
i hit with a stick,
not to be mean or rude in any way,
im just tryin to get my hard earned whey,
im writting songs cause im so ill,
yet my bros before me have no skill,
actualy i take that back,
you guys arent bad for some poetry hacks,
yea you ghrunt and whiskey steve,
hell even you big vrunga,
but what yall dont see is ur so naive.
now i probly wont win as i came in late,
so if i dont win i sure wont hate,
but if you my man mr. SJA ,
crowned my the winner for this here fine whey,
id be very grateful in every way,
ive also never tried the protein from the "protein lady",
but i heard its like drivin a mercede,
so like i said if i win this contest ill be so happy,
as my protein now tastes so damn crappy!

 

[BigVrunga]

Oh my god.......this is really good stuff. SJA will declare the poetry winner on Sunday Night.

Thanks for your unusual prose.

Laura

So we can keep going then?

 

[BigVrunga]

Well then, Im done with the ballad stuff lads
This incessant rhyming by amateurs is driving me mad
But Im not giving in, no, that's not what Ill do
I'm challenging you all:
Bring out the Haikus!

The efforts of fools
This protien is mine you know
You grow weak, I smile

 

[Whiskey Steve]

Beelz and Kwyck,
i hit with a stick,
not to be mean or rude in any way,
im just tryin to get my hard earned whey,
im writting songs cause im so ill,
yet my bros before me have no skill,
actualy i take that back,
you guys arent bad for some poetry hacks,
yea you ghrunt and whiskey steve,
hell even you big vrunga,
but what yall dont see is ur so naive.
now i probly wont win as i came in late,
so if i dont win i sure wont hate,
but if you my man mr. SJA ,
crowned my the winner for this here fine whey,
id be very grateful in every way,
ive also never tried the protein from the "protein lady",
but i heard its like drivin a mercede,
so like i said if i win this contest ill be so happy,
as my protein now tastes so damn crappy!

You would hit them with a stick,
man your a dick.
Move bitch, get out the whey,
jus kidn, that rapper is gay.
I have to be honest, songs arent your thing,
take my advice, im Whiskey, the King.
There no whey your win'in, stop kidn yourself,
for im whiskey steve, the master of health.

 

[Whiskey Steve]

What makes a hiaku vrunga, i cant remember,
it sylables right, 5-7-5?

 

[BigVrunga]

Another rhyme, lame
You immoliate taste
Give it up, slacker

 

[BigVrunga]

What makes a hiaku vrunga, i cant remember,
it sylables right, 5-7-5?

Yeah bro, 5-7-5 is the standard version, you're basically supposed to keep it under 17 syllables and use an even-odd-even syllable count for each line. They're not supposed to rhyme, either.

 

[danTman2]

5lbs of free protein, what a steal
maybe i could get some protein without having to type 'LAURADEAL'
Im a broke ass teen whose gains are on a roll, all i need is a good diet rich in protein not no superdrol
I want big muscles when i flex, AlltheWhey protein will help me do that, not pheraplex-
AlltheWhey i dont mean to act rude, but i will hate you if you dont give protein to this young dude, chocolate mint really gets me in the mood to down some more protein like its chica-chica cheat food-
I hope this poem is up to par, if i win ill put your logo on the side of my car
I hired bobo so my diets in check, now all i need is some protein, so what the heck?
If i dont win it'l be a shame to be, walking with my mommy to GNC,
ill have to buy the crappiest protein in town that will be difficult to choke down
Now why should i have to do that when i could get some for free, il will be ur best customer till im age 103.
Your protein really taste the best, theres no place in my heart for the rest.
5lbs or your protein for 5lbs of my fat, that is accomplishible in 3-4 weeks with the help of your protein and bobo's ingenious diet tweaks.
Ill give you a hint, ur best flavor starts with C,
ends in hocolate mint.
So you must decide one way or another, are you going to help out a broke ass brother?
I bet you will because AlltheWhey is the BOMB, their getting so popular,their sales are blowing up like VIETNAM.

 

[Whiskey Steve]

Yeah bro, 5-7-5 is the standard version, you're basically supposed to keep it under 17 syllables and use an even-odd-even syllable count for each line. They're not supposed to rhyme, either.

is there something else we could do, im all up for change but i feel it should rhym. other wise it will turn into "you suck", "f u", without even being funny.
when we rhym this **** right it fn hilarious, what other poetry style could we do

 

[BigVrunga]

Ycould do whatever you want - the Haiku stuff is difficult because each little phrase is supposed to stimulate the mind or invoke a mental picture (or something like that) - but I hear you on the rhyming. Just trying to mix it up a little

 

[Whiskey Steve]

DanTman2 gave up rhymin half whey through,
what the heck was that man, your rhyms are poo.
"Not no superdrol" man go back to school,
I dont use double negatives, thats why i rule.
You said youd paint their logo on the side of your ride,
dont you mean moms mini van; you dont have a car, you lied.

Vrunga's big enough, dans an ass,
give it too me and ill show you some mass.
Rhunt had some good rhymes, we had some good times,
but id attack all of his lines, and he'd loose his mind.
Some of this is funny and some of it blows,
yet i am the winner and everyone knows.
I can go all night, i will win this fight and all who are present will cheer,
They tell all thier friend how sadly this ends when you loose because you drink beer.

 

[BigVrunga]

5lbs of free protein, what a steal
maybe i could get some protein without having to type 'LAURADEAL'
Im a broke ass teen whose gains are on a roll, all i need is a good diet rich in protein not no superdrol
I want big muscles when i flex, AlltheWhey protein will help me do that, not pheraplex-
AlltheWhey i dont mean to act rude, but i will hate you if you dont give protein to this young dude, chocolate mint really gets me in the mood to down some more protein like its chica-chica cheat food-
I hope this poem is up to par, if i win ill put your logo on the side of my car
I hired bobo so my diets in check, now all i need is some protein, so what the heck?
If i dont win it'l be a shame to be, walking with my mommy to GNC,
ill have to buy the crappiest protein in town that will be difficult to choke down
Now why should i have to do that when i could get some for free, il will be ur best customer till im age 103.
Your protein really taste the best, theres no place in my heart for the rest.
5lbs or your protein for 5lbs of my fat, that is accomplishible in 3-4 weeks with the help of your protein and bobo's ingenious diet tweaks.
Ill give you a hint, ur best flavor starts with C,
ends in hocolate mint.
So you must decide one way or another, are you going to help out a broke ass brother?
I bet you will because AlltheWhey is the BOMB, their getting so popular,their sales are blowing up like VIETNAM.

Bro you're so young
U Dont know WangChung
Like a newborn hero unsung
Came in too late bro - the bell's already rung
Rather than talk smack, you should just hold your tongue
You sing like a geezer who has only one lung
Won't win protien, but dung
Your chance is now hung
Bro you're so young

 

[Whiskey Steve]

Im whiskey the great, i entered slightly late,
but your rhymes were so bad they acted as bate,
I then jumped in, me the master to begin,
an onslaught of glory, they all tell my story.
The battle grew fierce and my words they did peirce,
the members soft countanance scared,
my rhymes they flow free as all you can see i dont even find this hard.

 

[BigVrunga]

A weak attempt bro
Through sad eyes I read your words
I taste that whey now

 

[Whiskey Steve]

Ycould do whatever you want - the Haiku stuff is difficult because each little phrase is supposed to stimulate the mind or invoke a mental picture (or something like that) - but I hear you on the rhyming. Just trying to mix it up a little

We could paint a mental picture of rhunt and his....uh.....lifting buddy, lol

 

[Whiskey Steve]

I sit in the mists of all those whom pissed,
for theyre chance to win they see they've missed.
I was clear from the start that you all have heart,
i thought you would quit but your all not that smart,
you all dont realize ill win the prize,
then you'll all see as I increase my size.

 

[duckway]

Haikus kick ass

The morning paper
Harbinger of good and ill
I step over it

 

[Whiskey Steve]

Let me tell you a story of peoms for supps,
all but one who competed obviously sucked.
I told them to quit, i begged and i pleaded,
there attempts they continued, the protien they needed.
The contest spaned from dawn until dusk,
then one wrote with beauty and left all to lust.
He tore them all apart, right form the start,
they called him, sexy, massive, and smart.

 

[BigVrunga]

The morning paper
Harbinger of good and ill
I step over it

That rocks!!

Silence, they ponder
The lament of protien lost
Their souls I consume

 

[danTman2]

scince when did this turn into 8-mile.......i just want some free protein, so i tried.

and i never said that i would paint the logo on my car, AND i do have a car.


You wanna know my pet peve
E-tough guys named whiskysteve
You think ur hardcore with ur 13.25 inch guns
you should become a hilfiger model and use the money for your gay porno funds
Look at this guy hes obviously a disgrace
I know he likes the thought of "12 inch bics" slapping his face
he can rap online but not in my face
he'd rather stay home and milk the lizard to will and grace.


refer to an earlier joke in the thread for the 12 ich bics part......just trying to keep it clean-ish

 

[Whiskey Steve]

scince when did this turn into 8-mile.......i just want some free protein, so i tried.

and i never said that i would paint the logo on my car, AND i do have a car.

We're just playin around. I dont know you, how the hell would i know if you have a car or not. I believe you i was just trying to be funny so i threw it in
relax bro, give me some personal attacks if youd like, all of this is for entertainment. But this is 8 mile ish isnt it.

 

[danTman2]

oh im relaxed, i know it all fun and games.....my post probably made me sound pissed, but trust me im not.