Platonic Relationships with the Opposite Sex

pistonpump

pistonpump

Banned
is it possible and under what circumstances? I mean it seems like one person wants to get in bed or has more than friendly feelings for the other. Does this mean that both people would have to be completely unattracted to each other physically (which if was the case imo they wouldnt be as tight anyway)? Or do they both have to be really involved with a partner. I mean idk, i thought my really really close gf was just a friend but damn i wanted to take it further and ive been on the opposite end as well. Just curious what are your opinions?
 
Hahahaha!. That is pretty funny, if your a guy with a normal libido you know you want pound that sh*t!. I have very low libido but I know how I thought when I was between 18-27 years old so I would say no to that. Maybe for the woman it could be platonic, but there is no way it is for the guy. If guy says it is, he is simply lying to you and to the girl and she is too nieve to know what he really wants. I'm not in my 20's anymore though and have been married for years so what do I know...
 
this is going to sound f.ucked up but it depends if the girl is hot. If you have a hot friend that is a girl (that you find attractive), then of course at one point in time you are going to want to do something with her or mess around, purely out of attraction.


There is a personality compatability that can make ppl of the opposite sex friends (I have female friends but a lot of them are butt ugly), so that kinda helps keep it that way.

If you were friends with Adriana Lima then despite having mutual things in common you'd also have that physical attraction that wants to lead to other things as well.







on a side note: If anyone notices why I am highly interested in relationships, it is because at one point in time (like 6 years ago) I wanted to be a relationship therapist and was studying for that. After about a 1 year I decided it wasn't for me, but I still enjoying observing and studying the dynamics of interpersonal relationships both on a friendly and intimate level.......as a personal understanding type thing, not career-wise.
 
Guy + A girl he doesn't find attractive = Good platonic friendship
Guy + A girl he thinks is hot = He's going to be friends with her until he can bang her. If guy gets shot down, friendship becomes nullified, unless he thinks he can somehow weasel his way in as it were.
 
I have a platonic relationship with a chick that I think is crazy hot. We have slept in bed together without doing anything. It's possible, but it is also very rare that it stays that way.
 
I have a very beautiful platonic friend. Somehow she and I were too similar to date. We became close friends instead. I think of her as a sister now. It would feel sort of gross to think of her in sexual terms.
 
Read up on the Ladder Theory on Wikipedia. It's basically a complete science/theory on this subject.

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Sally: We are just going to be friends, OK?
Harry: Great, friends. It's the best thing...You realize, of course, that we can never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape, or form - is that men and women can't be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No, you don't.
Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: No, you don't.
Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You're saying I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive.
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail them, too.
Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn't matter, because the sex thing is already out there, so the friendship is ultimately doomed, and that is the end of the story
 
ive found guys always have some sexual tension, and it could create problems with a partner. its hard to do, but it can be done. goodluck
 
Depends on the level of evolution/maturity of the two involved. You can always suppress the urges, and channel them, if the friendship means THAT much.

Think about someone smokin hot that is also the best colleague-type conversation you have ever had...and think about what would be destroyed if you EVER tried something.

Then again most people don't think like that...so they would not be able to maintain such a relationship.

Then, think about it this way...very hot 16 year old...touch it and you go to jail. Very hot friend....touch it and ruin the friendship. If you can control yourself in the first instance, then you ARE physically able to control yourself.
 
dsade said:
Depends on the level of evolution/maturity of the two involved. You can always suppress the urges, and channel them, if the friendship means THAT much.

Think about someone smokin hot that is also the best colleague-type conversation you have ever had...and think about what would be destroyed if you EVER tried something.

Then again most people don't think like that...so they would not be able to maintain such a relationship.

Then, think about it this way...very hot 16 year old...touch it and you go to jail. Very hot friend....touch it and ruin the friendship. If you can control yourself in the first instance, then you ARE physically able to control yourself.
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But you're still suppressing something that is always going to be in the back of your head. You are better off just not putting yourself in the situation that can lead to anything sexual.

Think about when you are married. Is it really ever okay to hang out with the opposite sex as just friends? Not really. You don't hang out with the opposite sex out of respect for your spouse, and the possibility (no matter how large or small) that something sexual may happen.

Every good relationship I've ever had starts as a friendship. "It's okay. We're just friends." That's always how it starts...
 
Dr Packenwood said:
Guy + A girl he doesn't find attractive = Good platonic friendship
Guy + A girl he thinks is hot = He's going to be friends with her until he can bang her. If guy gets shot down, friendship becomes nullified, unless he thinks he can somehow weasel his way in as it were.
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Haha LOL. that made me think of my situation. Im probably only friends with her still just because i think ill hit it later, despite being told no, im just a friend.
 
Rodja said:
I have a platonic relationship with a chick that I think is crazy hot. We have slept in bed together without doing anything. It's possible, but it is also very rare that it stays that way.
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did you not want to do something? did you think about it?

if not then im gonna say she probably wanted you, someone has to its like human nature.
 
KelJu said:
I have a very beautiful platonic friend. Somehow she and I were too similar to date. We became close friends instead. I think of her as a sister now. It would feel sort of gross to think of her in sexual terms.
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the only thing that separates close friends from being loves imo is the awkwardness, im not gonna lie it would be awkward tho. Then there is fear, fear that your relationship will never be the same, in a bad way. I like to be an optimist about it and think that it would be a long lasting love relationship since you already have a perfect base.
 
Irish Cannon said:
But you're still suppressing something that is always going to be in the back of your head. You are better off just not putting yourself in the situation that can lead to anything sexual.

Think about when you are married. Is it really ever okay to hang out with the opposite sex as just friends? Not really. You don't hang out with the opposite sex out of respect for your spouse, and the possibility (no matter how large or small) that something sexual may happen.

Every good relationship I've ever had starts as a friendship. "It's okay. We're just friends." That's always how it starts...
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:goodpost:
 
pistonpump said:
did you not want to do something? did you think about it?

if not then im gonna say she probably wanted you, someone has to its like human nature.
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Initially, yes, but I am very glad that I did not act upon it. Seriously, she is the one person that trust the most and our friendship is one of the, if not the, most important things to me. There is definitely an attraction between both of us, but it has reached a different level of love between us. I would do anything for her and I know the feeling is mutual.
 
Gtarzan81 said:
Girls have categories...and your stuck in the friend category. Game Over.
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true. but i believe that if time goes by this can change. I mean if i didnt see her for years and came across her and in that sense you can sometimes start with a new attraction slate.
 
They can be hard.. I have a friend who I am just interested in being friends with, and we have talked about just being friends, but recently when I started seeing someone, she revealed her feelings for me. Just be careful, it may not be you who is interested in her, but her who is interested in you.
 
tattoopierced1 said:
They can be hard.. I have a friend who I am just interested in being friends with, and we have talked about just being friends, but recently when I started seeing someone, she revealed her feelings for me. Just be careful, it may not be you who is interested in her, but her who is interested in you.
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saaaaame thing happened to me

you might not be interested in the other person, but chances are they have interest in you
 
Palo Alto Labs said:
saaaaame thing happened to me

you might not be interested in the other person, but chances are they have interest in you
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sucks man.. i still wish we could be good friends, but i dont think we can get that back after what she revealed to me. I really did value having her as a friend.
 
I am glad you specified a platonic relationship with the opposite sex, but how do you feel about a platonic relationship with the same sex?

-TF
 
Irish Cannon said:
Uh, what? Not everyone has hidden homosexual urges.
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My point exactly. Hence the reason the thread starter 'clarified' opposite sex. One would presume such, but the originator felt it was necessary to specify opposite, which sounds like someone's sexual urges are oppressed.

-TF
 
They are not. Seriously. Every single girl I have ever called a real friend i have wanted to bang under the right circumstances. The ugly ones never stick around as friends and are forgotten about easily. The ones that are true "friends" are usually attractive and there is definitive flirting going on. Edit: there is also definitive drunken rambling occurring in this post.
 
ReaperX said:
this is going to sound f.ucked up but it depends if the girl is hot. If you have a hot friend that is a girl (that you find attractive), then of course at one point in time you are going to want to do something with her or mess around, purely out of attraction.


There is a personality compatability that can make ppl of the opposite sex friends (I have female friends but a lot of them are butt ugly), so that kinda helps keep it that way.

If you were friends with Adriana Lima then despite having mutual things in common you'd also have that physical attraction that wants to lead to other things as well.







on a side note: If anyone notices why I am highly interested in relationships, it is because at one point in time (like 6 years ago) I wanted to be a relationship therapist and was studying for that. After about a 1 year I decided it wasn't for me, but I still enjoying observing and studying the dynamics of interpersonal relationships both on a friendly and intimate level.......as a personal understanding type thing, not career-wise.
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Agree 100%. There was a chick i was friends with for years, and finally one night we got busy out of nowhere. She has a bf now, but i am sure if we met up one night there would be the same result. Sexual tension is always present.
 
t3stxlr4titud said:
My point exactly. Hence the reason the thread starter 'clarified' opposite sex. One would presume such, but the originator felt it was necessary to specify opposite, which sounds like someone's sexual urges are oppressed.

-TF
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are you trying to imply that i have homosexual urges lol....thats funny, i just wanted to specify for a wide range of readers.....if someone is homosexual do you think that this thread would even apply to them?
 
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