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No friends.

When you get married, it often becomes a case of where your single friends drop you instead...which is every bit as shallow and stupid as the reverse IMO.

My two remaining friends in the state are moving away this summer. It's really hitting home now how isolated I have become. over the last 11 years of marriage. Time to get a hobby that includes other people...like maybe orgies or something.
 
Mrs. Gimpy! said:
100% agreed. If I wasn't engaged, I would have sworn that you are my long lost other half :) . A realist after my own heart.
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Thanks. And congratulations to some lucky b@stard out there! lol.. Best wishes with the whole marriage thing. I think that's great, if you really love someone why not make it honest.
 
bioman said:
When you get married, it often becomes a case of where your single friends drop you instead...which is every bit as shallow and stupid as the reverse IMO.

My two remaining friends in the state are moving away this summer. It's really hitting home now how isolated I have become. over the last 11 years of marriage. Time to get a hobby that includes other people...like maybe orgies or something.
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I dont see it as single friends dropping married friends. Its usually the married guys who dont go out and party anymore so why call the guy to hang out when its always a no. To me it always seems the wife has to go out or the guy cant go out, which defeats the purpose of going out and being a fool.
 
ITHURTZ said:
I dont see it as single friends dropping married friends. Its usually the married guys who dont go out and party anymore so why call the guy to hang out when its always a no. To me it always seems the wife has to go out or the guy cant go out, which defeats the purpose of going out and being a fool.
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Doesn't hurt to call. :stick:
 
You always have internet to. ALot of my friends had myspace when single then when they get a gf it gets deleted etc etc. You can only call so much and be denied when eventually everyone just moves on. Iv only got 1 friend left that I have known since 6th grade, I was actually just out with him today. Hes getting married in may (24yo when he does) and he goes out with friends etc, with her, and she goes out with her friends to. I think its just dependant on the people, some are weak inside and will do anything to "make" her happy. What happens when they actually GET married I dont know, and when he has kids I have no clue either.

Marriage changes alot of people...
 
I don't see myself quitting my job for her. We've been going off and on for about a year and a bit and well we have never actually "gone out". A lot of people consider us together even though we've never really acknowledged it...yea kinda weird I know. We don't share ANY of the same interests, we have completely different friends (I'm a year older). I don't even really find her all that attractive, there is just something about her that makes me want to be with her and it's really weird, pretty much unexplainable why I like her. It might be because we are so different. I can basically tell her anything I feel and she couldn't tell anyone because she doesn't know anyone I know. Anyways, enough with the story.

RR, I know exactly how you feel. I have cleaned my life up quite a bit. Actually the first time I ever touched any drug was this past Friday for my friends birthday and I'm actually really disappointed in myself for it. Makes me realize that maybe it is better to just be alone if everyone else is just gonna bring you down. I still haven't smoked anything for about 6 months and I'm at least proud about that.

My best friends and I work out in the country together on the railway, we rent out a cabin there together and live with each other for 6 months. Pretty much all spring and summer, there is nowhere to spend money out there so almost all of it is banked. I still am gonna miss these boards and the people I'm not going out of town with. When I come back I'm gonna buy up every supplement I can think of and put up 12049204283943 logs, then next year I'm going to go watch the Arnold!
 
WeakPoint said:
RR, I know exactly how you feel. I have cleaned my life up quite a bit. Actually the first time I ever touched any drug was this past Friday for my friends birthday and I'm actually really disappointed in myself for it. Makes me realize that maybe it is better to just be alone if everyone else is just gonna bring you down. I still haven't smoked anything for about 6 months and I'm at least proud about that.
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Mine as well do everything while your young. I do coke, Im young so why not. Experience is knowledge for the future
 
WeakPoint said:
I don't see myself quitting my job for her.
....

My best friends and I work out in the country together on the railway, we rent out a cabin there together and live with each other for 6 months.
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you realize that more or less that choice of jobs keeps you from meeting and staying with someone right? Regardless of whether it is this girl or someone else. Do you think you would ever end up being able to get married living like that ? I guess if that isn't important to you then it works :) It would be fun for a while i'm sure.
 
I'm probably only going to do it for about 4 years, bank about 150k. I'm trying to get my high school during the 6 months I'm back but its hard to find courses that run from November to April. I know adult ed. runs like a normal school semester. sept-feb., feb.-june.

Anyways, I'm sorry if I jacked up your thread there RR, and yeah what I've been talking about is totally off topic to what this thread is actually about.
Life is confusing as fack and I'm in that stage in my life where I don't know which way to go. Glad to have these boards to vent.
 
RenegadeRows said:
The reason why I had to 'drop' my friends at the beginning of our relationship was not to make her happy.

Anybody who has been a drug addict and recovered ... loses all of their friends. There's no way around it. It's an unfortunate side effect of "cleaning up your life".

We're doing better now.

I beleive I'm a loner of sorts in the long run. With friends there tends to be alot of drama and bull**** involved. Even the few friends I have now tend to blow me off. Yes, social interaction is very important but I think the fellow who said to be alone is to be strong has a point. After all, the only one in this world you have for sure is yourself.

The people I work with however are friendly and I am greatful for that. Not so much outside of work relationships, but the contact and bonding we do in work counts for a lot.

Thanks for all the input guys. I didn't know so many people had the same issues I do. I hope we can keep this thread going because there is some great wisdom being provided.
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Way to go RR, you realized what was important and you moved on. I feel the same way, I'm a loner who hates being by himself. But I also hate the run around you get when you incorporate others into your life. I get lonely, but then I hate being around people too. It's freakin weird. But there are a lot of good things/people in my life too. It kind of evens the board.
 
I think its weird that u guys share no mutual friends. I have my friends too, but most of them are "our" friends. To be honest we usually drink or kill things, neither of which my lady is interested in.

Go out with your gf friends. I bet they usually bring along 1-2 other people that may be more like yourself. The more you get to know them they may start bringing in their boyfriends or friends who share the same interests as you even if they don't.

You may even meet someone randomly. One of my best buddies I met randomly at a bar when I was with some other people.
RenegadeRows said:
:whiner:

So I met my girlfriend about 4 years ago. I really liked her. I was at the point of my life where I had alot of friends, but most of them were bad influences on me. I was drinking, smoking weed, and not working. I was a total loser.

My girl kinda changed that. You know if you like someone enough, you want to change for them. Especially if your doing things that arent good for you to begin with. She put up with my bull**** and I did change gradually. I quit smoking, and partying. But that meant I had to drop my friends too. When I did hang out with them, I would end up falling down again, and giving into temptations. It'd cause us to fight, and since i liked her i didn't want to fight.

Fast forward 4 years. i'm working and i'm clean. i dont drink or smoke. for a while, she was all i needed and vice versa. we got very close. my outlets were lifting and training.

well i'm stilll training, but here's the kicker. my girl goes out with her friends alot. they are a mixed bunch, guys and girls alike. she's invited me out to chill with them, but they're her friends you know. a couple should have their own groups of friends, IE 'guys night', 'girls night'

So she goes out on a friday night and has a blast, and I'm stuck at home. At first I didn't mind it, I'd watch movies and chill out. Train, surf the net.

But it's really starting to get to me. The friends I had, were like my bros. Half of them are addicts, in jail. I'll pray for them. The other half I don't even know how to reach, because it's been so long. Friends aren't like a deck of cards, to put down and pick up at a later time. I think they felt I turned my back on em.

Well here i am whining. But it's gotten to the point where I don't know what to do with myself. I've gotten very depressed. I want friends to confide in, to chill with on a guys night. She goes out with a big group and has fun, and I sit on my ass and feel sorry for myself. She's invited me out but I would feel very awkward, I don't know any of her friends and they aren't really my type of people.

I have one or two people I still keep in touch with, but they have families and careers and little or no time to hang out.

I know it's kind of a stupid topic, there are much more serious things in the world. But i feel really cut off and lonely. I was just wondering if anybody had any ideas or experiences like me.

It hasn't been a problem until lately, she's been hanging out with her friends more, and less of me. Perfectly healthy for a couple to do, but hard for me. i feel disconnected

Any ideas?
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I think this situation/issue will ring home with a lot of people on this board (and other bodybuilding boards). It seems there are quite a few common traits in that spectrum of people. One being the 'loner' type.

I have never had a lot of friends, even in high school. I had a steady girlfriend and played sports. I met a lot of cool guys playing sports, but they weren't 'friends'.

Now, I'm married and have an 8-month old son. I can count on a hand with no fingers exactly how many friends I have ... zero. I have a pretty close-knit family, so the isolation isn't that severe.

Once I'm out of the house, I'm a very social person... have a good time, good sense of humor, intelligent (at least by my standards), etc. But, getting out of the house is the biggest step. Along w/ lifting heavy things, I like to just chill and surf the Net, play computer games, come up with my 1000th workout routine, etc.

And, when I do go out, it's like you... it's with my wife's 'group'. But, they have accepted me as there own and are well aware of my isolation issues. When they haven't seen me in a few weeks, they always complain to me that they want me 'back in the fold'.

Anyway, I don't have much advice... really just wanted to let you know that this seems to be pretty common.

Sometimes it saddens me to think that I really don't have any friends (at least none that I didn't abandon 10+ years ago). But, most of the time, I am completely competent w/ staying home alone.

But, I must also admit that I smoke marijuana almost every day (at least when I have some). That could be a slippery slope... you get high because you are alone, and you are alone because you got high.

I'm still trying to figure out what my priorities are and how this hermit behavior is damaging myself and those around me (namely my wife).

A LOT of good advice in this thread. I think MulletSoldier hit the nail on the head a page or two back.
 
RenegadeRows said:
:whiner:

So I met my girlfriend about 4 years ago. I really liked her. I was at the point of my life where I had alot of friends, but most of them were bad influences on me. I was drinking, smoking weed, and not working. I was a total loser.

My girl kinda changed that. You know if you like someone enough, you want to change for them. Especially if your doing things that arent good for you to begin with. She put up with my bull**** and I did change gradually. I quit smoking, and partying. But that meant I had to drop my friends too. When I did hang out with them, I would end up falling down again, and giving into temptations. It'd cause us to fight, and since i liked her i didn't want to fight.

Fast forward 4 years. i'm working and i'm clean. i dont drink or smoke. for a while, she was all i needed and vice versa. we got very close. my outlets were lifting and training.

well i'm stilll training, but here's the kicker. my girl goes out with her friends alot. they are a mixed bunch, guys and girls alike. she's invited me out to chill with them, but they're her friends you know. a couple should have their own groups of friends, IE 'guys night', 'girls night'

So she goes out on a friday night and has a blast, and I'm stuck at home. At first I didn't mind it, I'd watch movies and chill out. Train, surf the net.

But it's really starting to get to me. The friends I had, were like my bros. Half of them are addicts, in jail. I'll pray for them. The other half I don't even know how to reach, because it's been so long. Friends aren't like a deck of cards, to put down and pick up at a later time. I think they felt I turned my back on em.

Well here i am whining. But it's gotten to the point where I don't know what to do with myself. I've gotten very depressed. I want friends to confide in, to chill with on a guys night. She goes out with a big group and has fun, and I sit on my ass and feel sorry for myself. She's invited me out but I would feel very awkward, I don't know any of her friends and they aren't really my type of people.

I have one or two people I still keep in touch with, but they have families and careers and little or no time to hang out.

I know it's kind of a stupid topic, there are much more serious things in the world. But i feel really cut off and lonely. I was just wondering if anybody had any ideas or experiences like me.

It hasn't been a problem until lately, she's been hanging out with her friends more, and less of me. Perfectly healthy for a couple to do, but hard for me. i feel disconnected

Any ideas?
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Relationships are known to ruin relationships. Unfortunate dichotomy.
 
I am only 18 years old, and still in high school. So I dont have as much life experience as some on here. I have always been a loner since I was very young. I mean I have about 3 close friends, that I would actually call friends. We hang out very rarely, most of my time lifting is spent lifting weights, Internet, reading. It kind of bothers me some times that these are suppose to be the best years of my life, and I spend them alone. Bro, the first thing you need to do is talk to your girl. Next, if you don't want to be at home alone go make friends. I mean I don't "click" with everyone I meet, but you'll feel better going out with people that arnt exactly like you then being home alone. But if you go out enough, and talk to enough people then you'll make friends. Don't be at home alone feeling like ****, letting your emotions eat you from the inside out. Go make some friends that share the same interest in you sports, weight lifting, music, cars, etc. Not making friends easily isn't an excuse to be at home alone. Just my two cents. Mark
 
College are the best years of your life. Highschool is just a bunch of clicks and little kiddies thinking there cool. I laugh at all the "cool" kids in highschool which are now losers.
 
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