I would be willing to bet the use of gear didn't help, and I wouldn't say your use is moderate unless you are comparing yourself to the likes of Rich Piana and Bostin Lloyd. You cycle very often, and yeah you have recently lowered your doses a lot but some of your older cycles were pretty hardcore by average recreational use standards with lots of methyls. I wouldn't dismiss that with the cholesterol / plaque build up as not being a factor.
I am not and will not tell you not to use hormones. You are a grown man, but definitely take pause to really allow yourself a bit to reflect.
I will say this, I have not been on anything this year and I lost a good bit of size while i was not lifting much, or at all during the first 7-8 months. I am gaining my size back now and with just my TRT dose and calories have managed to regain a huge chunk of my size back! When i finally choose to cut to see what I have rebuilt I will be looking very impressive. I may be 4-5 lbs lighter in the end, but who cares.
You will not lose that muscle memory, aka extra nucleoli that was imported into the cells from other satellite cells. So the ability to get back to that size or very close will be there without cycling. Plus you have been saying you wanted to be a sleek sexy 185 for a while now, and you would not ever need to cycle again to get there my friend.
Keep in mind at your height and 185 you would probably look a lot like I did natty at 185 during prep. You are already leaner and have more muscle than i did at the beginning of prep even in your current condition and weight. I was 195 and no abs showing at all when I started and was 183 in this pic I think. Just something to think about.
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