Okay, been a few days since I've been able to update. I normally don't do updates over the weekend because I like to do the full day update the day after once everything is completed and easily presentable in Fitbit. But yesterday threw me for a bit of a loop, so we're playing catch-up:
Friday, May 6
Weight: 222.8 lbs.
Friday ended up being an off day. I honestly can't remember what the reasoning is/was, now, but I slept in and then was going to either knock it out in the afternoon after work but then decided I just wanted to hang with the wife and watch a movie, so I decided I'd do a double on Saturday. After work I got some food and hung out until my wife got home from her walk/hike with her friend and she brought home Penn Station, so I had a nice big chicken parm sub (humming some Peyton Manning jingles right about now). We watched an episode of The Office (our favorite joint show and it is kind of fun because she is the Pam to my Jim -- she was working in our office (as a grad student at another university -- so not one of MY students lol) and she worked our front desk and then I asked her out). Then we rifled through some movie selections and we usually side on comedies because laughing keeps her awake better than drama lol. We decided on Train Wreck and let me just say, it was way better than I anticipated. I like all of the cast, but didn't really have a high bar set for it. But it was great and John Cena made me laugh SO HARD. Ridiculous. Good night in.
Daily capture via Fitbit:
Saturday, May 7
Weight: 224.2 lbs.
Slept in and got to going to the gym once I was up and moving. Hit my high volume/hypertrophy delts/traps session and planned on hitting legs along with it, but I just wasn't feeling it after being in there as long as I had already been. Plus, I had the entire back yard (roughly 1 acre) to (push) mow once I got done, so I decided I'd just bang that out first thing in the morning after church and a few hours before basketball.
So here is the Fitbit capture from the delts/traps sesh:
Workout notes:
It was a solid workout (and btw, I was 220 after the workout) and then I went straight home to mow lol. Once again, Fitbit logs this as bicycling and this is what I got from that:
I honestly just wanted to stay in and relax in my recliner I was so dead. But we had been invited to a friend's for a bonfire. So, we watched the Derby (we are in KY, after all) and then headed over there. I was there for maybe 15 minutes before we got toned out for a vehicle accident. The friend whose home we were at and his neighbor are both on the fire department with me and both had started drinking a beer. Well, they were planning on not going but giving me crap to go. I was still bitter about going out in the middle of the night/morning Thursday at 1 AM for a no-run and really didn't plan on going. Well, they decided after some hemming and hawing that we needed to respond because not enough people had and no one that could drive an engine (some of our younger guys) had, either. So I had to drive the wife's car and parade the 3 of us to the station. We got there, geared up and one of the Captains had shown up and was driving the engine, so one guy from our group jumped on with him, but my other friend wanted me to drive one of our brush trucks, so we took that out (my first time driving it). By the time we ended up on scene, there wasn't much to do and EMS had already transported the patients out (don't think anyone was too severely injured). So, we packed it up and headed back to the station. Buddy #1 and I were waiting there for the engine and Buddy #2 to show up so we could head back to his house. After about 15 minutes of waiting (they had to write up the report), we get toned out for a vehicle fire. So all crap apparently breaks loose and one other person who had shown up to the station late for the first call and the 2 of us were there -- Buddy #1 says for me to take the brush truck, but there's only room for 1, so he decides he's gonna drive the other engine and the other person jumps in with him. Well, great -- except they didn't shut their bay door and I'm still relatively new to this and still don't live in the district we service, so I'm not familiar with it like they are. So they rush off and I'm holding my **** in my hand trying to find the button to close their stupid bay door because even though it's a small town and you'd hope no one would rob us, I don't think they'd be too fond of us leaving everything wide open with thousands of dollars worth of gear just sitting there. So I finally get all the resolved and have to GPS it from the Active 911 app and head out. By the time I got there, the others were obviously already there fighting the fire and even the engine from that first accident scene was already on scene so all I basically did was have to run the pump for a bit while they smothered the last of the fire. But then we had to stay on scene for like another hour plus to wait for the tow truck to get the scene cleaned up and the car out, then it was back to the station to fill the air tanks, clean house, fill the tanker, etc. By the time we got back to our friend's it was almost 11 and my wife was barely awake on the couch with our other friend's wife and the kids all passed out. Not how I wanted to spend my night. I was largely just in a bad mood because my friend bailed and took the engine and just left me in a bad situation when I easily could have hopped on with him and saved time and been of more use.
So when I got home, the wife went to bed and I should have, too. But I decided to go downstairs to the big screen and watch basketball and snack. Actually fell asleep shoveling trail mix into my mouth. Ugh.
Daily capture via Fitbit:
Sunday, May 8
Weight: 223.0 lbs.
Well, I went to bed in a bad mood and woke up in the same spirits. I fell asleep in the basement bedroom and my wife came to wake me up and ask if we were still going to early service. I just grumbled and she said how about middle service and asked when I wanted to have her wake me up in time for it -- so I said 9:30. 9:30 rolled around and she came back and I just grumbled some more. We ended up not going and I'm angry/disappointed in myself for that. Church resets me and recharges my batteries for the week. I know this and yet I still was selfish and let my mood get the better of me. Additionally, we found out the gym was taken for something so no basketball in the afternoon. Well, I still had Friday's session to make up.
Only I didn't.
I let that sour mood follow me the whole day and stayed in watching TV while my wife spent most of the day at her grandma's (as she does most Sundays). I barely ate and all I wanted to do was snack when I was "hungry." It was just a poor choice of management for the day for me.
Fell asleep around 7:30 in the bed while hanging out with my wife only to wake up and realize she was downstairs watching Once Upon a Time (at 8:30), so by the time that happened, my sleep was all screwed up and I ended up staying up until about Midnight.
Daily capture via Fitbit:
Monday, May 9
Weight: 227.2 lbs.
Alarm went off at 4:45 -- and all I did was snooze it a few times and then decided to reset it and that I'd work out after work that day. Bad choice.
After the day was winding on at work, I realized that the way the week stacks up the smartest thing to do was to push my workouts a day, so Monday's on Tuesday morning, Tuesday's on Wednesday morning (which is normally off), and then basketball Wednesday evening and back to normal come Thursday.
I just didn't feel like myself all day because of skipping. I know this about myself, but it's just so easy to get off track by missing that one day and letting the wheels fall off. It's a downward spiral that can head out of control pretty rapidly.
It's really easy to stay dedicated for a month or so. The long-term is where you really find out what you're made of. Logs are easy to keep in the short term but when you look at the long term, that's where you have to really push yourself. And that's where I'm at. That first month was simple. Not easy, but simple. But pushing yourself so hard for a short duration is one thing -- over a longer period is entirely different.
(Spoiler alert, I hit the gym this (Tuesday) morning and feel MUCH better)
Daily capture via Fitbit:
So here I am. I was nearly flawless on my execution of workouts and nutrition until this past weekend. But that's okay. Life isn't perfect and I squared it back around today. It's easy to find that mindset of "welp, I already missed X, so might as well wait til Y to start back up..." I've done that before. I won't do that again. The gym brings my life balance. It gives me the mental and emotional stability I need to keep moving forward. And not just about the aesthetics of the mirror (though that certainly is a part of it because the body dysmorphia can kick in HARD and FAST and make you feel tiny and fat all a the same time). But more importantly, the even flow of energy throughout the day is what working out gives me. It's my medicine and it's important not to skip it. Days off and rest are one thing. Even a slower day at the gym. But just flat out skipping is bad for me. I need routine and structure to thrive.
It should also be noted that on Thursday and Saturday night I missed my doses of Keto Induce and those are the only times in this entire run since April that I have done so.
I felt/looked much better this morning after the gym so I'll ride that into tomorrow and keep on pushing. No giving up. This isn't just about a short-term thing here -- this is for life.