Pretty powerful words. Glad you found your way out of that rabbit hole. Have a teenage son who got hooked on opiates, and had to send him off to rehab because he was completely powerless over the stuff. He was in rehab for almost 2 months, and over a year later seems to be managing recovery fairly well, although I suspect he will have to keep his guard up for the rest of his life. I don't think I'll ever lose that uneasy feeling I have for him. I feel that I also have a predisposition to addiction. Was prescribed klonopin several years ago to knock down my anxiety levels. I still take it, but have cut down to half a mg a night. There was a stretch where I was taking 2-3 mg daily, and I realized what was happening. Very sneaky. At first I tried to wean myself off it way too quickly, and ended up in the ER thinking I was having a heart attack one night. So, while I haven't completely stopped taking it, I am well aware of how insidious it can be, and if I'm being completely honest, I do occasionally feel a tug to pop 2-3 mg just to experience that no-stress, carefree "buzz", especially when I'm stressed and anxious. For now, it always seems to be lurking in the back of my mind, but it is manageable. I suppose my brain chemistry will keep adjusting as I continue to take lower doses (lack of motivation, a bit of depression, short-fused at times, etc). This is chemical and physiological in nature, and it can take a long time for body and brain chemistry to normalize. I am also on an extended break from anabolics because I have hernia surgery coming up, and working out definitely isn't the same right now. Losing muscle mass and strength sucks, and is yet another layer of adversity to deal with. Just trying to keep it all in perspective...things could be worse!