How many girls have you kissed, and how old are you?

[lukehayd]

There is the prong collar with the spikes.

There's other places to bite and scratch. Lol!

 

[Outofbody]

I personally like to be on bottom, and drive it in while they drop down on top. Really, hit it deep.

The best thing ever (when the girl is on top), have her sit all the way down to the base, then have her grind as she leans back (and you pull her back and forth by her hips) - make her squirt all over your chest and face! (and the wall most likely too)

 

[hairygrandpa]

The best thing ever (when the girl is on top), have her sit all the way down to the base, then have her grind as she leans back (and you pull her back and forth by her hips) - make her squirt all over your chest and face! (and the wall most likely too)

I had:
-screamer
-grunter
-moaner
-dirty language shouters
-silent zombies
-loud quiefer

But never a squirter, thank god!

Edit: Are you sure it wasn't a chick with a dick urinating?

 

[Whisky]

I had:
-screamer
-grunter
-moaner
-dirty language shouters
-silent zombies
-loud quiefer

But never a squirter, thank god!

Edit: Are you sure it wasn't a chick with a dick urinating?

By silent zombie I’m assuming (fcuking praying) you don’t mean she was dead? Lol

 

[hairygrandpa]

By silent zombie I’m assuming (fcuking praying) you don’t mean she was dead? Lol

Nah, but rigid and quiet, like some of your hookers.

 

[Whisky]

Nah, but rigid and quiet, like some of your hookers.

Haha, yeah they are the worst. When on coke it’s hard enough to blow your load, her looking at her watch and texting her crack dealer while your rutting away doesn’t help one get over the finish line you know

 

[hairygrandpa]

Haha, yeah they are the worst. When on coke it’s hard enough to blow your load, her looking at her watch and texting her crack dealer while your rutting away doesn’t help one get over the finish line you know

I forgot the one that had narcolepsy, not kidding. She passed out switching the positions. As soon as she got on top, she keeled over.

 

[Whisky]

I forgot the one that had narcolepsy, not kidding. She passed out switching the positions. As soon as she got on top, she keeled over.

Haha, did you try to wake her, finish anyway or roll her off and sort yourself out?

 

[hairygrandpa]

Haha, did you try to wake her, finish anyway or roll her off and sort yourself out?

She rolled of the bed and hit the floor. Session was canceled because she bumped her head and needed stitches.

 

[SFreed]

I'm guessing sex with hairygrandpa isn't really sex unless somebody ends up needing stitches, am I right?

 

[hairygrandpa]

My worst experience involves buttsex , peanuts and diarrhea ... Go figure.

 

[SFreed]

 

[hairygrandpa]

Have you any idea how well peanut bits cling to belly hair? I do.

 

[Whisky]

Have you any idea how well peanut bits cling to belly hair? I do.

She ate a load of peanuts. You pulled out her azz and she sh1t on your belly????

That’s the only way I’m seeing this knitting together right now

 

[hairygrandpa]

She ate a load of peanuts. You pulled out her azz and she sh1t on your belly????

That’s the only way I’m seeing this knitting together right now

Not while pulling out. It went OVER my willy while sticking it in -and shoot over my belly up to the chest, with a a squishing sound. It felt like a warm hailstorm. I remember clearly. Damn. It took me years to get the courage and try butt games again.

And yes, she told me she ate peanuts, I was wondering and hoping it not to be parasite eggs -or something.

 

[Aleksandar37]

Not while pulling out. It went OVER my willy while sticking it in -and shoot over my belly up to the chest, with a a squishing sound. It felt like a warm hailstorm. I remember clearly. Damn. It took me years to get the courage and try butt games again.

And yes, she told me she ate peanuts, I was wondering and hoping it not to be parasite eggs -or something.

Pretty sure you invented a sex position there lol. The dirty circus? The hungry elephant? One of those should work

 

[lukehayd]

Pretty sure you invented a sex position there lol. The dirty circus? The hungry elephant? One of those should work

The Elephant Sneeze.

 

[Aleksandar37]

The Elephant Sneeze.

Brilliant!

 

[franks009]

This motherfcuker said a warm hailstorm

 

[hairygrandpa]

This motherfcuker said a warm hailstorm

Just for clarification, it was not my mother.

 

[lukehayd]

Just for clarification, it was not my mother.

But was she a mother?

 

[puccah8808]

I had a guy who had horrible E.D but he was able to c*m. I didn’t realize that was possible. Imagine being fcked with a deflated balloon... ?

 

[Godstrength]

She rolled of the bed and hit the floor. Session was canceled because she bumped her head and needed stitches.

And you just casually forgot about that? lmao

 

[hairygrandpa]

And you just casually forgot about that? lmao

About her fainting? Did not know she had this condition, only afterwards, happened every time she drunk alcohol.
Freaked me out, had to ditch her.
First stitch -then ditch, rhymes!

 

[Aleksandar37]

But was she a mother?

Not unless she uses the other hole

 

[TheMovement]

Just for clarification, it was not my mother.

The real question is were you and real man and continued?

 

[hairygrandpa]

The real question is were you and real man and continued?

Nah....man, but I pissed on her under the shower as retribution. (never happened, LOL)

 

[Whey]

This thread :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: