Great SIMPSONS Quotes

somewhatgifted said:
Ralph "my cats breath smells like cat food"

Mr burns "see my vest , see my vest..."
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Ha, that Ralph. "Tastes like burning." I believe that was from the lord of the flies parody.

"...Made from real gorilla chest, feel this sweater, there's no better,than authentic Irish setter..."
 
One more and I swear I'm done for the day. I saw this one last night for the first time. It's for all of AMs Canadian brethren...sorry, but it was funny!

Homer was talking to the Queen of England and made an analogy of the United States being Englands children, "I know we don't call as ofthen as we should, and we aren't as well behaved as our goody two shoes brother Canada, who by the way has never had a girl friend... I'm just saying."
 
stxnas said:
Ha, that Ralph. "Tastes like burning." I believe that was from the lord of the flies parody.

"...Made from real gorilla chest, feel this sweater, there's no better,than authentic Irish setter..."
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"...see my loafers?... genuine gophers!"
 
anabolicrhino said:
EPISODE WHEN MR BURNS MARRIES MARGE'S MOM

Homer- "Don't worry money, everythings gonna be all money."
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What he said was.... "Don't worry money, your money's happiness is all that money's."
 
Here's a really good one we forgot about!!!

Homer goes to the post office to intercept a letter he sent to Mr. burns.

trying to disguise his voice...

Homer: Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I beleive you have a letter for me.
USPS Worker: Okay Mr. Burns, What's your first name?
Homer: [pause] I don't know.
 
Treehouse of Horror III

Where Homer goes to the pawn shop to buy Bart the Krusty doll that tries to kill him, and he meets the creepy chinese vendor who sells 'frogurt'

Homer: Okay, I'll take the Krusty doll.
Vendor: This doll is cursed.
Homer: That's bad!
Vendor: But it comes with a free Frogurt
Homer: That's good!
Vendor: The frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad!
Vendor: But you get your choice of toppings
Homer: That's good!
Vendor: The toppings contain potassium benzoate.
Homer: [pause, blank stare]
Vendor: That's bad
Homer: Can I go now???
 
RenegadeRows said:
Here's a really good one we forgot about!!!

Homer goes to the post office to intercept a letter he sent to Mr. burns.

trying to disguise his voice...

Homer: Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I beleive you have a letter for me.
USPS Worker: Okay Mr. Burns, What's your first name?
Homer: [pause] I don't know.
Click to expand...

CLASSIC!
 
RenegadeRows said:
Here's a really good one we forgot about!!!

Homer goes to the post office to intercept a letter he sent to Mr. burns.

trying to disguise his voice...

Homer: Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I beleive you have a letter for me.
USPS Worker: Okay Mr. Burns, What's your first name?
Homer: [pause] I don't know.
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of course the answer is: Montgomery

I'm a big nerd for knowing that aren't I?
 
Big Matt said:
of course the answer is: Montgomery

I'm a big nerd for knowing that aren't I?
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Actually, no you aren't a nerd because that's not his first name...his full name is Charles Montgomery Burns.

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I am the nerd my friend!
 
Big Matt said:
of course the answer is: Montgomery

I'm a big nerd for knowing that aren't I?
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If your a big nerd for knowing that then I guess Im an even bigger nerd for correcting you. Montgomery is actually his middle name.

He's C. Montgomery Burns.
(Charles) Montgomery Burns

But the plant is under the name Canary M. Burns so that his pet bird gets the blame for anything the plant gets in trouble for. (C.M.Burns)
 
WHEN HOMER IS RUNNING FOR SANITATION OFFICE

"...animals go to bathroom in our houses and we have to clean it up?!!... Did we lose a war or something?"
 
UnicronSpawn said:
If your a big nerd for knowing that then I guess Im an even bigger nerd for correcting you. Montgomery is actually his middle name.

He's C. Montgomery Burns.
(Charles) Montgomery Burns

But the plant is under the name Canary M. Burns so that his pet bird gets the blame for anything the plant gets in trouble for. (C.M.Burns)
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I am shamed at the hands of a master!
:bow28:
 
somewhatgifted said:
nra4ever.
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Ive paused it at that part before (on the older episodes) and the display says numbers, not that...I wonder if they changed it after that anniversary episode...
 
The Episode when the cult tries to take over Springfield

cultmember-" would you to come see our free movei this weekend?"

Homwer-"free movie this weekend, that sounds good. When is it?

Cultmember-" This weekend"

Homer"..and how much is this free movie?"

Cultmember-" It free"

Homer-"..free movie!!!!...out of the way jerk azz!!!!
 
RenegadeRows said:
Ive paused it at that part before (on the older episodes) and the display says numbers, not that...I wonder if they changed it after that anniversary episode...
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Nah, I'm pretty sure it only said NRA4EVR for just that one episode.
 
When Flanders started the Leftorium and was going bankrupt...

Flanders: It's times like these that I used to cunsult my bible

Homer: Why don't you

Flanders: I sold it to you for seven cents
 
Homer: Awww, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
Homer: Woo-hoo!
:djparty:
 
Homer is playing golf as Mr. Burns' partner when he hits his ball into a sand trap. Looking confused Homer asks Mr. Burns what to do.

Burns: "Use your sand wedge man! And open the face."

Homer, while drooling: "Open faced sand wedge, mmmm."
 
I saw this episode today, where Bart wins the Elephant (Stampy) from the radio station contest.
At the end, Homer falls into a tar pit...

Homer: Don't worry kids, I'll struggle my way out...I'll just my pull my legs out with my arms...(arms stuck)....now i'll pull my arms out with my face....(totally submerged).
 
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Here's one for anyone who hasn't seen this ...

And a good clip of the Simpson version of Arnold...Reineer Wolfcastle

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somewhatgifted said:
they dont work for me :(
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Here ya go:

Rainier Wolfcastle: Here is a clip from my new movie, it's a mixture of action und comedy, it's called 'McBain, Let's Get Silly!'
Clip from film
McBain: Have you ever noticed how men always leave the toilet set up? (no reaction from audience) That's the joke!
Audience Member: You suck McBain!
McBain pulls out machine gun and fires upon the audience, screams of pain are heard
McBain: Now here is my Woody Allen impression, I am a neurotic nerd who likes to sleep with little girls!
Surviving audience member: Hey McBain! That really sucked!
McBain pulls out a grenade and throws it at the audience, it explodes, killing many.
End clip



a bonus McBain one:


Rainier Wolfcastle: My new movie is me, standing in front of a brick wall for 90 minutes. It cost 80 million dollars.
Jay Sherman: How do you sleep at night?
Rainier Wolfcastle: On top of a pile of money, with many beautiful ladies.
Jay Sherman: Just asking. Yeesh!
Jay Sherman (to himself after reading Marge's letter): Do I really want to leave Manhattan?
Rainier Wolfcastle:(walks up to Sherman) Sherman! I just realized you insulted me! Now you will die! (gets out a machine gun)
Jay: Uh, check check, your shoe's untied.
Rainier Wolfcastle: From up here they appear to be tied. But I will go in for a closer look.
(Rainier bends over as Jay hails a taxi)
Jay: Taxi! To the airport!
(the cab drives off. The scene dissolves to nighttime with Rainier still looking at his shoes)
Rainier Wolfcastle: On closer inspection, these are loafers.
 
Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

Marge: Grandpa, this flag only has 49 stars on it
Grandpa: I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missourah!

Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
Marge: That's because you were drunk!
 
The episode where Burns and Homer race to reach the cabin on time...

Park Ranger: Let's take a moment to humor the kids...

..."Kid's, your father's going to be just fine!"...

Now if everybody will put on their corpse-handling gloves, we've got two frozen bodies to find!
 
*Fallout Boy episode*
Director: Up and Atom
Rameir wolfcastle: Up and at 'dem
Director: No, no up and atom
Ranier Wolfcastle: Up and at 'dem
Director: better

Homer: ...and I gave the guy directions even though I didn't know the way because that's the kind of guy I am.



Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
Marge: HOMER!
Homer: I gotta go Moe my damn weiner kids are listening.

Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl.
Ralph Wiggum: I'm a boy.
Homer: That's the spirit. Never give up.

Self help teacher: look at my watch, it has so many jewles jamed in that hands don't move. What kind of watch do you have?
Homer: I just drew mine on

Milhouse: This is like Speed 2 but with a bus.

Bart: Geez Homer, you sure do suck tonight.
Homer: Yeah, suck like a fox!
 
beefjerky said:
Nah, I'm pretty sure it only said NRA4EVR for just that one episode.
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You are correct, they used the NRA4EVR in the 180th episode spectacular as a goof. It is in one of the simpson books.
 
Milhouse: Lets just say from now on I don't care what people think about me.
Bart: You mean you cared before? Then why did you wear a tutu to school?
Milhouse: What about all the times I didn't wear a tutu? Nobody ever brings that up.
 
Homer:

Animal house house house
animal house house house
Nobody ever went to class
then we saw donald sutherlands ass

animal house house house
animal house house house
then they did the end like american graffiti
where we saw what happened to everyone


“Max Power—he's the man whose name you'd love to touch...
But, you musn't touch!
His name sounds good in your ear
But when you say it, you mustn't fear
Because his name can be said by anyone!”

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead

Lisa: Women won't like being shot in the face.
Homer: Women will like what I tell them to like.

Do you want to change your name to Homer, Jr.?
The kids can call you Hoju!

What is a wedding? Webster's Dictionary defines a wedding as "The process of removing weeds from one's garden."

Let us all bask in television's warm glowing warming glow.

Marge! Look at all this great stuff I found at the Marina. It was just sitting in some guy's boat!
 
RenegadeRows said:
The episode where Burns and Homer race to reach the cabin on time...

Park Ranger: Let's take a moment to humor the kids...

..."Kid's, your father's going to be just fine!"...

Now if everybody will put on their corpse-handling gloves, we've got two frozen bodies to find!
Click to expand...

SAME EPISODE

Homer(voice in head) "I think Mr. Burns is trying to hypnotize me!....and not in the good Las vegas kind of way either.
 
Homer saying:
Play the race card! Play the race card! PLaay it!! While shaking his fist at the attorney.
 
Heres a few from my favorite ep.

Homer: Nobody "snuggles" with Max Power. You strap yourself in and feel the G's!

...

Carl: [laughs] Hey, Mr. Simpson, sir, can I get your autograph?
Homer: All right, what's the name?
Carl: Uh, Homer, we've worked together for ten years.
Homer: [blinking, no response]
Carl: It's Carl.
Homer: [scribbles on notepad]
Carl: [reads notepad] You only wrote my name. Um, I wanted yours.
Homer: Take it or leave it ... [reads notepad] Carl.

...

Homer: Oh, Marge. While I was at the courthouse, I had them change your name.
Marge: To what?
Homer: Chesty LaRue.
Marge: Chesty LaRue??!
Homer: Try it for two weeks. If you're not satisfied, you can be Busty St. Clair.
Marge: I don't want to be "Chesty LaRue" or "Busty St. Clair".
Homer: Fine, Hooty McBoob it is.
Marge: Goodnight, Homer.
Homer: Goodnight, Hooty.
Marge: Let go of those.

...

Homer: Kids, there's three ways to do things. The right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way!
Bart: Isn't that the wrong way?
Homer: Yeah, but faster! (Max runs into a cactus)
Lisa: We should really put that in a corner.

...And finally...

Homer: Max Power, he's the man,
Whose name you'd love to touch.
But you mustn't touuuuuuuuuuuuuch.
His name sounds good in your ear,
But when you say it,
You mustn't fear!
'Cause his name can be said by anyone!
 
this isnt word for word, but this is one of the funniest things i've ever heard.

Burns: out, out simpson ... or i'll ....
Homer: or you'll what? you'll release the dogs, or the bee's, or the dogs with bee's in thier mouths so when they bark they shoot bee's at you?
 
(Homer is trying to build a grill in his backyard and drops the box of parts and instructions in wet cement)
"Gotta work fast. English side ruined, must use french instructions... Le grill??!! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?!"

edit: found a clip
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When homer stops swearing, and he's building the doghouse. He steps on the nail,

"Fiddle dee dee, that will require a tetnis shot"
 
gumbercules said:
(Homer is trying to build a grill in his backyard and drops the box of parts and instructions in wet cement)
"Gotta work fast. English side ruined, must use french instructions... Le grill??!! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?!"

edit: found a clip
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**Drops parts into the wet cement**
"Stupid Lisa!!"
 
I am not sure exactly what Milhouse says, but its the episode that looks into the future and Milhouse is a bodybuilder or just ripped, either way, he's crying over Lisa wondering why she doesnt like him and he says something along the lines "Is it because of my small calves? Everyone knows its the hardest place to gain mass"
 
In the new episode yesterday when Martin was talking about standing up to Nelson. He picks up a small twig... "Alone, we are like this frigile twig." He then picks up a a bundle of twigs... "But together, we make a mighty faggot."


I almost peed myself.
 
IronMarc said:
I am not sure exactly what Milhouse says, but its the episode that looks into the future and Milhouse is a bodybuilder or just ripped, either way, he's crying over Lisa wondering why she doesnt like him and he says something along the lines "Is it because of my small calves? Everyone knows its the hardest place to gain mass"
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Lol, that one had me rolling too!
I think his exact words were..... "Why doesnt Lisa like me bart? Is it because I have small calves? THATS THE HARDEST PLACE TO ADD MASS!" in a frantic voice. That was brilliant.
 
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