Freq's Chuck Norris thread, bring it on.
- Thread starter freqfly
- Start date
Jayhawkk
Legend
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the **** he wants.
Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take **** from anyone.
Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's ****ing beef.
If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.
Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because Chuck Norris never ****s up.
Chuck Norris never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the **** he wants.
Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take **** from anyone.
Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's ****ing beef.
If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.
Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because Chuck Norris never ****s up.
Chuck Norris never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.
ozarkaBRAND
Well-known member
Jayhawkk said:
Has anyone really listened to this? It's crrrazy.
pistonpump
Banned
are you serious? no i mean seriously.
ozarkaBRAND
Well-known member
CHA0S
Member
yea there is a lot of crazy stuff when you play it backwards
e.g. When you play Pokemon's "Gotta catch them all" phrase backwards it says "I love Satan".
now back to the topic
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was an exhibition game vs. Chuck Norris and three seven year old girls.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.