Freq's Chuck Norris thread, bring it on.

freqfly

freqfly

Active member
Awards
1
  • Established
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
 
freqfly

freqfly

Active member
Awards
1
  • Established
Before the boogey man goes to sleep, he checks the closet for Chuck Norris
 
CNorris

CNorris

Banned
Awards
1
  • Established
America is not a Democracy, its a Chucktatorship.

 
freqfly

freqfly

Active member
Awards
1
  • Established
Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and roundhouse kick himself in the back of the head
 
CNorris

CNorris

Banned
Awards
1
  • Established
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
 
freqfly

freqfly

Active member
Awards
1
  • Established
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
 
CNorris

CNorris

Banned
Awards
1
  • Established
The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.


Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.
 
gotripped

gotripped

Banned
Awards
1
  • Established
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
 
Jayhawkk

Jayhawkk

Legend
Awards
2
  • Legend!
  • Established
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
 
CNorris

CNorris

Banned
Awards
1
  • Established
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris puts the ‘laughter’ in ‘manslaughter.’

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
 
Hank Vangut

Hank Vangut

Well-known member
Awards
1
  • Established
some nutrition/workout tips from Chuck Norris himself:

Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.


After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
 
KingMeso

KingMeso

Active member
Awards
1
  • Established
Hey, welcome to last year.....when this was newer and not beaten into the ground. :thumbsup: :lol:
 
MentalTwitch

MentalTwitch

Well-known member
Awards
1
  • Established
Chuck Norris sucks! YEA bring it on mofo's. This shyt was Vin Deisal a few years ago too...
Lame. Sorry guys but it just is at this point. :blink: :trout:
 
Australian made

Australian made

Well-known member
Awards
1
  • Established
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris puts the ‘laughter’ in ‘manslaughter.’

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
i think i just wet myself...........
 
CNorris

CNorris

Banned
Awards
1
  • Established
Chuck Norris sucks! YEA bring it on mofo's. This shyt was Vin Deisal a few years ago too...
Lame. Sorry guys but it just is at this point. :blink: :trout:
Watch your mouth. Vin Diesel isnt worthy to sniff Chuck Norris farts.
 

Irish Cannon

Legend
Awards
2
  • Legend!
  • Established
Just when you think you've heard all the Chuck Norris facts that you can handle...you haven't.

Kind of like Margaritaville.
 
Justincredibl

Justincredibl

New member
Awards
0
Chuck Norris puts the ‘laughter’ in ‘manslaughter.’

I think this one might be the best ever...
I actually laughed loud enough to get people to turn and look into my office. Good ****
 
freqfly

freqfly

Active member
Awards
1
  • Established
There is no chin underneath Chuck Norris' beard..... only another fist.
 
natedogg

natedogg

Well-known member
Awards
1
  • Established
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

I laughed at this yesterday and to make sure it was still funny I read it again today. Yep, I'm still laughing. lol.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
 
freqfly

freqfly

Active member
Awards
1
  • Established
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus
 
CNorris

CNorris

Banned
Awards
1
  • Established
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
 
TheMyth

TheMyth

RADIATE LOVER
Awards
2
  • Established
  • First Up Vote
Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norric
 
Hank Vangut

Hank Vangut

Well-known member
Awards
1
  • Established
Chuck Norris enjoys a good practical joke. His favorite is where he removes your lower intestine and pretends to make a balloon animal out of it. Then he cracks your skull open with a Volvo for not complimenting him on his balloon animal.
 
natedogg

natedogg

Well-known member
Awards
1
  • Established
When Bruce Banner get angry, he turns into the Incredible Hulk. When the Incredible Hulk gets angry, he turns into Chuck Norris.

If tapped, Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick can power the country of Austrailia for 42 minutes.

The Earth does not revolve around the Sun, the Sun revolves around Chuck Norris.
 
pistonpump

pistonpump

Banned
Awards
2
  • Legend!
  • Established
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
these are the best off all time. LMFAO!

CNorris, youve probably heard them all....you got the funniest ones by far.
 
MasterFlexx

MasterFlexx

Member
Awards
0
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass... At night.
 

stxnas

Well-known member
Awards
2
  • RockStar
  • Established
I'm not a very political person, but this is a brilliant "policy message"! This one's for you Irish Cannon:

 
CNorris

CNorris

Banned
Awards
1
  • Established
I'm not a very political person, but this is a brilliant "policy message"! This one's for you Irish Cannon:

ROFL thats awesome!! I like Fred Thompson but Huckabee seems OK.
 
ozarkaBRAND

ozarkaBRAND

Well-known member
Awards
1
  • Established
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. We now refer to them as The Islands.
 
ozarkaBRAND

ozarkaBRAND

Well-known member
Awards
1
  • Established
Global warming is Chuck Norris's way of telling polar bears it's time to die
 
manifesto

manifesto

Well-known member
Awards
6
  • Established
  • First Up Vote
  • RockStar
  • RockStar
  • RockStar
  • RockStar
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity....TWICE.
 
manifesto

manifesto

Well-known member
Awards
6
  • Established
  • First Up Vote
  • RockStar
  • RockStar
  • RockStar
  • RockStar
Chuck Norris clogs the toilet when he pees.
 
manifesto

manifesto

Well-known member
Awards
6
  • Established
  • First Up Vote
  • RockStar
  • RockStar
  • RockStar
  • RockStar
Chuck Norris invented crop circles, because corn just needs to lay the fukc down sometimes...
 
manifesto

manifesto

Well-known member
Awards
6
  • Established
  • First Up Vote
  • RockStar
  • RockStar
  • RockStar
  • RockStar
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to CNorris again.
 
manifesto

manifesto

Well-known member
Awards
6
  • Established
  • First Up Vote
  • RockStar
  • RockStar
  • RockStar
  • RockStar
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried........ Ever.
 
manifesto

manifesto

Well-known member
Awards
6
  • Established
  • First Up Vote
  • RockStar
  • RockStar
  • RockStar
  • RockStar
Chuck Norris sweats out Old Spice cologne.
 

Similar threads


Top