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Family guy mafia funny confusions thread

Since you two like cars as well. The other day I'm driving to work when I come across an arrogant ass with a Mercedes Benz C63 AMG. Now what annoyed me was he would go full taps on the straights then go around corners like he was driving on egg shells. So I start pissing him off by sitting on his ass in the corners and passing him in the corner with a traffic light (two lanes, took the outside and when the lanes closed I was in front). So on the straight he overtakes again but every corner i'm on his ass, just because I can (Clearly he is afraid of oversteer and doesn't belong behind the wheel of the AMG). We enter a long bend, now this is important. It's basically a long straight with a bit of a bend then all of a sudden it turns into an almost 90 degree turn. So i'm on his ass and he keeps slowing down, so I decide to pass as soon as I pull out he puts his foot FLAT. Now I didn't think this guy was going to try and clock 300km/h on this straight. All of a sudden the corner sneaks up on him and it's dead brakes and a whole lot of understeer. It's almost like all the traction controls and all the gyro's just said "**** it, this is how we die" so he understeers over the curb and spins out on the (luckily empty) piece of land, basically writing off all the mags, tyres, front axle, gearbox etc etc. The whole car in general. He gets out and starts yelling. I just casually drive off like nothing happened. Douche move? yes. Will teach him what happens when you drive like an ass.
 
jakz said:
Since you two like cars as well. The other day I'm driving to work when I come across an arrogant ass with a Mercedes Benz C63 AMG. Now what annoyed me was he would go full taps on the straights then go around corners like he was driving on egg shells. So I start pissing him off by sitting on his ass in the corners and passing him in the corner with a traffic light (two lanes, took the outside and when the lanes closed I was in front). So on the straight he overtakes again but every corner i'm on his ass, just because I can (Clearly he is afraid of oversteer and doesn't belong behind the wheel of the AMG). We enter a long bend, now this is important. It's basically a long straight with a bit of a bend then all of a sudden it turns into an almost 90 degree turn. So i'm on his ass and he keeps slowing down, so I decide to pass as soon as I pull out he puts his foot FLAT. Now I didn't think this guy was going to try and clock 300km/h on this straight. All of a sudden the corner sneaks up on him and it's dead brakes and a whole lot of understeer. It's almost like all the traction controls and all the gyro's just said "**** it, this is how we die" so he understeers over the curb and spins out on the (luckily empty) piece of land, basically writing off all the mags, tyres, front axle, gearbox etc etc. The whole car in general. He gets out and starts yelling. I just casually drive off like nothing happened. Douche move? yes. Will teach him what happens when you drive like an ass.
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HAHAHAHA that's hilarious. Definitely doesn't belong in that. Beautiful car though. I want the AMG Black edition.
 
The sound and performance is amazing. Me and a few friends were speculating that the AMG Gtr would be like 5 Seconds faster than the M4 GTS, clocks out a 7:10 or so (on the nurburgring) Mercedes have out done themselves this year. What car do you have man?
 
rtmilburn said:
As top gear said the amg black is a nuclear bomb desguised as a car
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ALL AMG's. I remember driving a 2004 C55 AMG a year ago. DAMN!! and people thought the MR2 was the king of lift of oversteer?!:lmao: Was awesome to drive though!
 
UnicornDrpns said:
Hey some trannys are hotter than most women are nowadays .

On a side note I really do wonder how many men would press go with a hot Tran if they knew nobody would find out
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lesson that should be learned from john podesta's email's....don't say or do anything with anyone that you do not want people to find out about.
 
i have had the sh1ts not stop for the past few days. as i finally able to get 5 steps away from the bowl without running back to it, i tricked my brother in law into going to the bathroom.

think you left your glasses in the bathroom?
really
yea go take a look

muuhhhaaaaaa
 
smith_69 said:
i have had the sh1ts not stop for the past few days. as i finally able to get 5 steps away from the bowl without running back to it, i tricked my brother in law into going to the bathroom.

think you left your glasses in the bathroom?
really
yea go take a look

muuhhhaaaaaa
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HAHAHA there's the Smith I know.

rtmilburn said:
As top gear said the amg black is a nuclear bomb desguised as a car
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I was actually gonna reference Top Gear lol. That episode is what made me love that car.

jakz said:
The sound and performance is amazing. Me and a few friends were speculating that the AMG Gtr would be like 5 Seconds faster than the M4 GTS, clocks out a 7:10 or so (on the nurburgring) Mercedes have out done themselves this year. What car do you have man?
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I just bought an 09 Dodge Avenger with the 2.7l V6. I like the fact that its not something a lot of people build. So far I've done:

Custom CAI
Full custom cat back exhaust

Waiting on:

DiabloSport Intune i2 Tuner
80mm Ported Throttle body

Next:

Ported lower intake
Valve train upgrade
Turbocharger
 
Here's another embarrassing one: in college I was renting a room in a house and had this chick roommate who found me on the bathroom floor one morning, lying in a pool of piss with my d1ck out, and a gash on my head.

I drank a fifth of Beam than night and was swaying when I went to take a piss... I lost balance and hit the back of the toilet with my face and knocked myself out.
 
mmorso said:
Here's another embarrassing one: in college I was renting a room in a house and had this chick roommate who found me on the bathroom floor one morning, lying in a pool of piss with my d1ck out, and a gash on my head.

I drank a fifth of Beam than night and was swaying when I went to take a piss... I lost balance and hit the back of the toilet with my face and knocked myself out.
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Epic
 
mmorso said:
Here's another embarrassing one: in college I was renting a room in a house and had this chick roommate who found me on the bathroom floor one morning, lying in a pool of piss with my d1ck out, and a gash on my head.

I drank a fifth of Beam than night and was swaying when I went to take a piss... I lost balance and hit the back of the toilet with my face and knocked myself out.
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That is funny sh it! Especially when it's not you!
 
I had to get a dress hemmed shorter. Took it to a tailor. The guy was a conservative, Old school 65yr old man. I try on the dress and walk out so he can measure how much off the bottom of my dress to cut off

Tailor : do you want it this short ?
Me:no a little shorter
Tailor: here?
Me: shorter ...
Tailor : <judging eyes now> u sure?
Me : yep

I go to pay and as I reach into my purse a pair of black Lacey undies rolls onto the counter . We make eye contact , look at the panties, then look at each other. I silently and slowly reach out and grab them and put them back in my purse. We both just said nothing about it.
 
UnicornDrpns said:
I had to get a dress hemmed shorter. Took it to a tailor. The guy was a conservative, Old school 65yr old man. I try on the dress and walk out so he can measure how much off the bottom of my dress to cut off

Tailor : do you want it this short ?
Me:no a little shorter
Tailor: here?
Me: shorter ...
Tailor : <judging eyes now> u sure?
Me : yep

I go to pay and as I reach into my purse a pair of black Lacey undies rolls onto the counter . We make eye contact , look at the panties, then look at each other. I silently and slowly reach out and grab them and put them back in my purse. We both just said nothing about it.
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Yeah and after you left...
Tailor: "Lord I can die now, my life is complete"...
 
angcd3 said:
Yeah and after you left...
Tailor: "Lord I can die now, my life is complete"...
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Lmao no he looked at me the entire time like I was the biggest hiv infested , bible burning , Craigslist gangbang slut ever. Lol.

I'll never forget the look he gave me when we both looked at the panties that rolled onto his register counter. I don't think my dad even ever mastered that level of a "disgust , u hussy" type of glare. Haha
 
UnicornDrpns said:
I had to get a dress hemmed shorter. Took it to a tailor. The guy was a conservative, Old school 65yr old man. I try on the dress and walk out so he can measure how much off the bottom of my dress to cut off

Tailor : do you want it this short ?
Me:no a little shorter
Tailor: here?
Me: shorter ...
Tailor : <judging eyes now> u sure?
Me : yep

I go to pay and as I reach into my purse a pair of black Lacey undies rolls onto the counter . We make eye contact , look at the panties, then look at each other. I silently and slowly reach out and grab them and put them back in my purse. We both just said nothing about it.
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You ARE one of us.
 
UnicornDrpns said:
Lmao no he looked at me the entire time like I was the biggest hiv infested , bible burning , Craigslist gangbang slut ever. Lol.

I'll never forget the look he gave me when we both looked at the panties that rolled onto his register counter. I don't think my dad even ever mastered that level of a "disgust , u hussy" type of glare. Haha
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That's hilarious lol.
 
UnicornDrpns said:
I had to get a dress hemmed shorter. Took it to a tailor. The guy was a conservative, Old school 65yr old man. I try on the dress and walk out so he can measure how much off the bottom of my dress to cut off

Tailor : do you want it this short ?
Me:no a little shorter
Tailor: here?
Me: shorter ...
Tailor : <judging eyes now> u sure?
Me : yep

I go to pay and as I reach into my purse a pair of black Lacey undies rolls onto the counter . We make eye contact , look at the panties, then look at each other. I silently and slowly reach out and grab them and put them back in my purse. We both just said nothing about it.
Click to expand...

Were they clean?
 
UnicornDrpns said:
Lmao no he looked at me the entire time like I was the biggest hiv infested , bible burning , Craigslist gangbang slut ever. Lol.

I'll never forget the look he gave me when we both looked at the panties that rolled onto his register counter. I don't think my dad even ever mastered that level of a "disgust , u hussy" type of glare. Haha
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Craigslist gang bang slut!!! Lmfao that just great!

So now where I can find these Craigslist gang bags???????
 
mmorso said:
Here's another embarrassing one: in college I was renting a room in a house and had this chick roommate who found me on the bathroom floor one morning, lying in a pool of piss with my d1ck out, and a gash on my head.

I drank a fifth of Beam than night and was swaying when I went to take a piss... I lost balance and hit the back of the toilet with my face and knocked myself out.
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Hahaha!!!! mmorso wants to know "Have you ever had an orgasm so powerful, so strong, that you fall down, hit your head on the sink and nobody finds you for hours?"
 
FireTitan said:
Hahaha!!!! mmorso wants to know "Have you ever had an orgasm so powerful, so strong, that you fall down, hit your head on the sink and nobody finds you for hours?"
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Now that is what really happened. FireTitan this is Great!! I'm crying I'm laughing so hard!
 
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happy news years spooner street
 
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