Douchebags at the gym...

[kanakafarian]

I had an odd one this morning. In the locker room, right next to my locker. I saw a dude who had to be at least 6' 3" and at least 57, with long gray hair, high heels, nylons, and a skirt. He looked like Doc Brown in drag. Ruined my whole day.

Was this him? :toofunny:

 

[rambo679]

Imagine that guy in 20 years and it's him.

 

[kanakafarian]

Oh Lord!

 

[rambo679]

The more mind boggling thing was I seemed to be the only one who noticed it. The dude walked out and I was looking around for confirmation that this really was what I just saw and no one else seemed to be reacting in the least.

 

[jin]

The more mind boggling thing was I seemed to be the only one who noticed it. The dude walked out and I was looking around for confirmation that this really was what I just saw and no one else seemed to be reacting in the least.

all those other doods boned him.

 

[ImJ2x]

Scene 1: J2x has just showered, standing at sink in a towel, brushing his teeth, with not a care in the world. Chubby Indian (with heavy accent) approaches...

Blubberneesh: "Do you know what you are doing right now?"
J2x: "Brushing my teeth?"
Blubberneesh: "You are telling the whole world that you are an a$$hole."
J2x (supersarcastically): "Umm... No I'm not."
Blubberneesh: "Yes. It is very rude to brush your teeth here."

J2x gets within a foot of chubby Indian's fat face, brushing teeth vigorously to ensure spittle lands thereupon...

J2x: "Look, Mahatma, I pay my dues here just like you. I'll brush my damn teeth whenever I feel like it. Mind your own."

Chubby Indian, wiping spittle from fat face and quite upset, walks towards exit, then turns around...

Blubberneesh (nearly crying): "You have a bad attitude."
J2x: "Goddamn right I do. Come get some more of it. A$$hole."

Chubby Indian waddles out the door.


All I was doing was brushing my teeth. Seriously...

 

[CCV3]

Washing up, brushing teeth, etc. those are fine.

One time this guy busted out his hair dye set. Seriously took up the entire bathroom with laid out paper towels, brushes, mixed solutions, rubber gloves, the whole damn kit. Continued to turn his gray hairs back to black.

That's something you should just do at home...

 

[jin]

...
Blubberneesh: "Do you know what you are doing right now?"
...

"blubberneesh."

:toofunny:

 

[Menoth]

I'd like to find people who don't flush the locker room toilets and set them on fire. Dead lifting makes me need to poop and I have no desire, let alone time, to battle someone else's refuse before I drop three or four pounds of my own.

We're grown men and we all poop, but apparently we don't all flush.

 

[jin]

I'd like to find people who don't flush the locker room toilets and set them on fire. Dead lifting makes me need to poop and I have no desire, let alone time, to battle someone else's refuse before I drop three or four pounds of my own.

We're grown men and we all poop, but apparently we don't all flush.

or wash their hands...

 

[CCV3]

Why do fat people smell so bad?
I mean, it's great and all that they are trying to lose weight but I just don't understand how their BO can be so bad. What is the correlation between being fat and bad odor? There shouldn't be any, but there is.

I was very close to throwing up twice doing cardio between 2 fat people. Not exaggerating. I was already planning my excuse to tell everyone why I threw up, playing out the whole scenario in my head. I just cut it 15 minutes short. I couldn't hang...

 

[kanakafarian]

Why do fat people smell so bad?
I mean, it's great and all that they are trying to lose weight but I just don't understand how their BO can be so bad. What is the correlation between being fat and bad odor? There shouldn't be any, but there is.

I was very close to throwing up twice doing cardio between 2 fat people. Not exaggerating. I was already planning my excuse to tell everyone why I threw up, playing out the whole scenario in my head. I just cut it 15 minutes short. I couldn't hang...

I'm thinking it may be the folds of skin/fat where sweat accumulates? Eww I just almost thew up in my own mouth! :yuck:

 

[bakerderek0]

Scene 1: J2x has just showered, standing at sink in a towel, brushing his teeth, with not a care in the world. Chubby Indian (with heavy accent) approaches...

Blubberneesh: "Do you know what you are doing right now?"
J2x: "Brushing my teeth?"
Blubberneesh: "You are telling the whole world that you are an a$$hole."
J2x (supersarcastically): "Umm... No I'm not."
Blubberneesh: "Yes. It is very rude to brush your teeth here."

J2x gets within a foot of chubby Indian's fat face, brushing teeth vigorously to ensure spittle lands thereupon...

J2x: "Look, Mahatma, I pay my dues here just like you. I'll brush my damn teeth whenever I feel like it. Mind your own."

Chubby Indian, wiping spittle from fat face and quite upset, walks towards exit, then turns around...

Blubberneesh (nearly crying): "You have a bad attitude."
J2x: "Goddamn right I do. Come get some more of it. A$$hole."

Chubby Indian waddles out the door.


All I was doing was brushing my teeth. Seriously...

I dream of confrontations like this. All you were doing was brushing your teeth. It does bother me when people do that stuff naked, but a towel is totally acceptable. I'd love to snap on some fat bastard post workout. Good work J2x.

 

[bakerderek0]

I'm thinking it may be the folds of skin/fat where sweat accumulates? Eww I just almost thew up in my own mouth! :yuck:

Yea, it's like the have some type of mold in those fat flaps. That could very well be the odor.

 

[ImJ2x]

Yea, it's like the have some type of mold in those fat flaps. That could very well be the odor.

Bleu cheese, perhaps?

 

[CCV3]

See but if I was fat I would still wash between my rolls.
I would literally lift up my jelly roll, and rub soap all up in there.

One of the fatties next to me had a head band on.
Seriously? Did you have to go to Big 5 and pick up a head band to ride the bike on zero resistance?

 

[kanakafarian]

Bleu cheese, perhaps?

I'm glad I had dinner already!

 

[ImJ2x]

See but if I was fat I would still wash between my rolls.
I would literally lift up my jelly roll, and rub soap all up in there.

One of the fatties next to me had a head band on.
Seriously? Did you have to go to Big 5 and pick up a head band to ride the bike on zero resistance?

Zero resistance, lol.
So true. I crank the resistance way up, sweat like a monkey, and blast the heck out of my quads-- cardio AND resistance at the same time. I see these people on the bike, leisurely spinning without resistance, reading a nice book, talking on the phone, watching Oprah. It's not really cardio if you're not sweating, Einstein.

 

[kanakafarian]

See but if I was fat I would still wash between my rolls.
I would literally lift up my jelly roll, and rub soap all up in there.

One of the fatties next to me had a head band on.
Seriously? Did you have to go to Big 5 and pick up a head band to ride the bike on zero resistance?

You sure it was a headband and not a fire hose? LOL

 

[timmmah]

There's naked old men at my gym that shave, brush their teeth and walk around and talk to people buck naked! The other day a naked old man was pickin his old face in the mirror and had his sh!t resting on the counter! WTF

I swear, next time I preworkout viagra I'm gonna challenge one to a sword fight with my NRB!

 

[Clickster]

This thread is hliarious!!

I workout at the gym and at home. It is very nice to be away from some of the people you guys are talking about while at home.

 

[kanakafarian]

This thread is hliarious!!

I workout at the gym and at home. It is very nice to be away from some of the people you guys are talking about while at home.

But then you miss out on the eye candy the gym provides :147:

 

[bakerderek0]

But then you miss out on the eye candy the gym provides :147:

sweet jesus....

 

[DaJaP]

sweet jesus....

i need a new gym is this is anywhere near the typical clientel at yours...

 

[Evil Eagle]

My gym has hair dryers permanently attached to the wall next to the scale. One day I walk in to weigh myself and an old man has one foot up on the counter blow drying his junk. I'll never be able to get that mental picture out of my head.

Sent from my Android device

 

[kanakafarian]

i need a new gym is this is anywhere near the typical clientel at yours...

Actually, yeah, some really nice ones at my gym.

 

[bakerderek0]

My gym has hair dryers permanently attached to the wall next to the scale. One day I walk in to weigh myself and an old man has one foot up on the counter blow drying his junk. I'll never be able to get that mental picture out of my head.

Sent from my Android device

All the blow dryers would have been smashed.

 

[RickRock13]

We have a Guy that regularly comes in our gym that looks like he stepped out of 1985. He has a full mullet, wears those neon printed pink and purple workout pants, wears a half shirt that you can see his beer gut hanging out of and has high tops with neon laces. Everybody stares at him, but its like a trainwreck after all...

 

[kanakafarian]

We have a Guy that regularly comes in our gym that looks like he stepped out of 1985. He has a full mullet, wears those neon printed pink and purple workout pants, wears a half shirt that you can see his beer gut hanging out of and has high tops with neon laces. Everybody stares at him, but its like a trainwreck after all...

Why the hate bro? I think my mullet and neon pants are aawwwwesome! :icon16:

 

[DaJaP]

We have a Guy that regularly comes in our gym that looks like he stepped out of 1985. He has a full mullet, wears those neon printed pink and purple workout pants, wears a half shirt that you can see his beer gut hanging out of and has high tops with neon laces. Everybody stares at him, but its like a trainwreck after all...

does he rock the little pedophile mustache too?

 

[bakerderek0]

We have a Guy that regularly comes in our gym that looks like he stepped out of 1985. He has a full mullet, wears those neon printed pink and purple workout pants, wears a half shirt that you can see his beer gut hanging out of and has high tops with neon laces. Everybody stares at him, but its like a trainwreck after all...

I like that guy. He's living life my friend.

 

[ImJ2x]

My gym has hair dryers permanently attached to the wall next to the scale. One day I walk in to weigh myself and an old man has one foot up on the counter blow drying his junk. I'll never be able to get that mental picture out of my head.

Sent from my Android device

You can see that every day at my gym-- they all do it. It's like, when you hit 70, you forget how towels work.

 

[jin]

My gym has hair dryers permanently attached to the wall next to the scale. One day I walk in to weigh myself and an old man has one foot up on the counter blow drying his junk. I'll never be able to get that mental picture out of my head.

yeah, i see that happenin all the time here too.
young guys, old guys, maybe its a korean thing, i dunno...
anyways, doods are hairy as a three-toed sloth in winter.
maybe don't dry so easily...

i just run the clippers every couple months.
top and bottom, hair is hair.
done.

 

[ImJ2x]

yeah, i see that happenin all the time here too.
young guys, old guys, maybe its a korean thing, i dunno...
anyways, doods are hairy as a three-toed sloth in winter.
maybe don't dry so easily...

i just run the clippers every couple months.
top and bottom, hair is hair.
done.

But the thing is, back in the day, before guys trimmed "down there" and before gyms had blow dryers, people still managed to dry off. You know how? With damn towels, lol.

 

[Oldnsweaty]

Scene 1: J2x has just showered, standing at sink in a towel, brushing his teeth, with not a care in the world. Chubby Indian (with heavy accent) approaches...

Blubberneesh: "Do you know what you are doing right now?"
J2x: "Brushing my teeth?"
Blubberneesh: "You are telling the whole world that you are an a$$hole."
J2x (supersarcastically): "Umm... No I'm not."
Blubberneesh: "Yes. It is very rude to brush your teeth here."

J2x gets within a foot of chubby Indian's fat face, brushing teeth vigorously to ensure spittle lands thereupon...

J2x: "Look, Mahatma, I pay my dues here just like you. I'll brush my damn teeth whenever I feel like it. Mind your own."

Chubby Indian, wiping spittle from fat face and quite upset, walks towards exit, then turns around...

Blubberneesh (nearly crying): "You have a bad attitude."
J2x: "Goddamn right I do. Come get some more of it. A$$hole."

Chubby Indian waddles out the door.


All I was doing was brushing my teeth. Seriously...

:toofunny:

 

[Evil Eagle]

But the thing is, back in the day, before guys trimmed "down there" and before gyms had blow dryers, people still managed to dry off. You know how? With damn towels, lol.

Exactly! I mean, I'm a hairy dude, and if you look up Swamp ass in the dictionary my picture will be next to it. But I've never thought of using a hair dryer for my sack. **** is disgusting.

Sent from my Android device

 

[timbonz]

Wow.. I'm from New Zealand and I didn't realise that there were that many people who go to my gym that must travel a lot!

 

[jin]

Wow.. I'm from New Zealand and I didn't realise that there were that many people who go to my gym that must travel a lot!

yeah, just goes to show that people are the same everywhere...
except maybe they smell different.

i wonder if there is a thread somewhere wherein some very dry muthfkr is typing this:

"There is some ripped a-hole at my gym who actually uses a TOWEL to dry his nuts... What a loser! Doesn't he know that this is the 21st century? We don't EVEN dry our HANDS with towels anymore. Towels are just condos for bacteria. Myself, I like a hot, dry sack. Can't get that with a TOWEL!!! WTF!!!:crazy:"

 

[RickRock13]

Exactly! I mean, I'm a hairy dude, and if you look up Swamp ass in the dictionary my picture will be next to it. But I've never thought of using a hair dryer for my sack. **** is disgusting.

Sent from my Android device

Maybe the man just wanted a public B.J. and thats the only way he could get one opworm:

 

[Evil Eagle]

Maybe the man just wanted a public B.J. and thats the only way he could get one opworm:

:bling:

 

[ken22]

What about people with bad breath? This is distgusting. I dont know how many times I have moved down a few machines while doing cardio to get away from the nasty odor emitting from the persons mouth next to me. They have to notice me moving down and wonder why?
Also there is this littl old asian dude that stinks like he ate garlic cloves the night before, I dont know what it is but its nasty.

 

[ken22]

Oh, ther is one woman in every morning in my gym in jeans, a blouse, and sandals just leasurly bikeing on a recumbant. Her hair is done her makup etc. looks like shes ready to head to work. Then to top it off shes been hanging on to one of those shake weight things while biking lately.

 

[kanakafarian]

What about people with bad breath? This is distgusting. I dont know how many times I have moved down a few machines while doing cardio to get away from the nasty odor emitting from the persons mouth next to me.

Maybe they're in ketosis?! :lol:

 

[bakerderek0]

Oh, ther is one woman in every morning in my gym in jeans, a blouse, and sandals just leasurly bikeing on a recumbant. Her hair is done her makup etc. looks like shes ready to head to work. Then to top it off shes been hanging on to one of those shake weight things while biking lately.

I'd talk to her, it sounds like she may be interested in giving out handjobs.

Why do old guys smell like poop?

 

[Menoth]

I'm writing my congressman about dudes hanging out naked in the locker room. There's two curtains on the shower and plenty of hooks in there for a reason. Also, underwear before socks!

Another thing that I fail to understand is why women come to do cardio while doused in perfume. The old women are the worst. Today I almost had to call my thirty minutes on the elliptical early because some tubby lady next to me had bathed in White Shoulders. Vomiting in the gym is cool, but not for that reason.

 

[mich29]

loud people inthe gym laughing and yelling and being ****ing child like.an hour and 30 mins of this retarded ****.wtf man really your at the gym to work out not be jack asses.I wanted to hit'em both inthe head with a 45lbs weight to shut'em up.......damn 24 hour cameras.

 

[CCV3]

Swimmer here.
When old people take up lanes and wade back and forth moving styrofoam blocks.
They take up the entire lane. Sharing is impossible.

I hate sharing lanes anyways, but old people just kill it.

Plus I hate every azzhole who loses a band aid in the pool.
I pretty much hate any male over the age of 12 wearing a band aid. Seriously? Is it that bad of a wound? If it's a blood gushing wound you should have a gauze pad with medical tape. What the hell does that little band aid do other than make you look like a straight sissy. Then you have the nerve to let it float around in the pool.

Oh, and toilet paper in the pool. Have you not mastered the art of wiping your azz throughout your entire life?

I pretty much don't swim at the gym anymore unless it's really really late.

 

[jin]

Swimmer here.
When old people take up lanes and wade back and forth moving styrofoam blocks.
They take up the entire lane. Sharing is impossible.

I hate sharing lanes anyways, but old people just kill it.

Plus I hate every azzhole who loses a band aid in the pool.
I pretty much hate any male over the age of 12 wearing a band aid. Seriously? Is it that bad of a wound? If it's a blood gushing wound you should have a gauze pad with medical tape. What the hell does that little band aid do other than make you look like a straight sissy. Then you have the nerve to let it float around in the pool.

Oh, and toilet paper in the pool. Have you not mastered the art of wiping your azz throughout your entire life?

I pretty much don't swim at the gym anymore unless it's really really late.

public pools.
ick.

 

[drofwarc]

Don't know if it's been posted, way too many pages to read Hahah, but nerd guys lifting heavy with terrible technique and grunting. I'm talking a group of nerds all doing this while the die hards and real lifters look aesthetic and bigggg!

 

[kanakafarian]

Don't know if it's been posted, way too many pages to read Hahah, but nerd guys lifting heavy with terrible technique and grunting. I'm talking a group of nerds all doing this while the die hards and real lifters look aesthetic and bigggg!

Sh!t, I guess I'm a douchebag then :happysad: When I'm in the rack with 405+lbs loaded on my shoulders, I can't help but grunt when I'm doing ass squats. The noise just comes out :surprised: