DW you were absolutely right. Last night I went out with some friends and for once I didn't end up bumping heads with her at the same place after 3 consecutive times.
So on my way home, she called again. I had a few drinks in me so I went ahead and reacted with out thinking and answered it. Sorry, TC.
Good posting! Thanks, achilles. Call it going with my gut instinct, but I felt I needed that closure. She tried to get sarcastic and and said "Oh, so you answer my calls now?" She had just gotten off of work and I asked her if she was tryna have me over. She tried to pull that "if you want to" sh!t again, but then was like "I wouldn't have called if I didn't want you to" obviously, well.
I got over there and she was making eggs. We small talked about bs, and then she asked me what I wanted to talk about. I told her I already did my talking and that it was her turn. Either way I asked her all about this guy she is seeing, and it turns out that she's been going over to his house for dinner after work for the last 3 Mondays. And she finally told me what he does (dentist). Said she's been friends with him for over a year now. Because of that, I brought up how it seems like she has a lot of guy friends she keeps on the side that go by the name "Justin Case" (if ya know what I mean). As I went on about how it seemed like she bounced from me to him, she stated that he had nothing to do with her and I.
So we got off of that subject and then I somehow her sexual history came up. These are those "burning questions" that I failed to asked her during the relationship. She told me that she's had a total of three relationships that lasted 3 months, how they ended, how sexual they were, and about anyone else she had sex with oral or vaginal. Keep in mind I've never asked any one that I'm involved with these questions. From that I concluded that she doesn't get around which is good. However she ended up getting hurt in two out of three of those relationships.
It was getting late. Interestingly enough she decided to sleep on the couch b/c she said she didn't wanna lead me on. I went out there to get her a few hours later and we slept together for a few hours.
Once we were both awake we talked more and I asked more questions about what happened and I found that:
-She gradually started losing love for me because
1. She became confused as to why she never met my parents and how she didn't know the "burning facts" about me. This cause her to push me away by treating me less than good. She was very confused and didn't know what was happening or why
2. She hasn't been feeling too good about herself lately apart from mistreating me.
3. Job stress, stress from having to find a place to live and a real job.
So apart from the lost love. Everything else seems to be the same.
Finally I asked her if this was it b/w her and I and she nodded. However she still stated that she still wants to see me and whatnot. So I was about to leave and then I decided to just go for it (the sex). She obliged. Afterwards I made myself a shake and upon finishing it she told me I can still leave the jug there. I replied "And the shorts?" She responded "Leave them." Then I asked "is that an order ?" She said yes.
Basically the emotion is gone but the attraction is still there. And you know what? That's absolutely fine with me, because after the way she acted towards me, at this point I don't think she deserves to be treated any better than a sex object. In addition to that, I didn't even let her cum, she just doesn't deserve it. I feel much better now, knowing exactly where I stand, where she stands, and what to expect. As I left I didn't ask but I told her "I'll hear from ya." And of course she nodded. The emotions have been minimized. Things will be quite different.
Ahhhh, closure.