Another woman advice thread

kokobeware2

Active member
I'm looking for a little advice on this forum because I need an outside opinion on this. Im 23 and she's 25. She has a full time job and I work full time during the summer but I can't work too much during the school year because I'm goin for my masters and I need to study a lot more than I need to work. We moved in together after a year and we both ran into money problems so we decided it would be best to move back home. I've been really depressed about the whole thing because I feel as of I failed on living on my own. My girlfriend has been talking to her one friend recently and I recently got word from her that I think he is starting to develop feelings for her. Like a man, I sent him a message on Facebook very politely if I was getting the wrong impression of his talking to my girlfriend. I'm really not a jealous guy and I trust her so I didn't care to much. But he went and cried about my messaging him to my girlfriend then she pulled the you don't trust me card and we almost broke up over it. And this was only a little over a week after we moved out.

Well during our entire argument she had the courage to tell me she isn sure she feels the same way about me. She still loves me but when I couldn't afford a lot of stuff when we were living together, it definitely hindered our relationship. We are working things out slowly but now, I feel like just cuttin my losses and breaking up with her because now that she feels that way I feel like giving up and just finding someone new who is at the same point in their life as I am. I love her to death and I wanted to propose to her right when I got out of school, but now since she told me that I feel like just Breaking it off. Am I being unreasonable? I don't know what to do.
 
kokobeware2 said:
If I just started dating the girl I would have a long time ago because I wouldn't care that much. But I feel to emotionally invested
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Your 23 you have your whole ahead you if it's this much of an issue now it will just get worse.
 
Stay off Facebook nothing but problems and drama from that **** stick to AM and f*ck that trick if she pulled that u don't trust me card she is hiding something and is tryin to flip it on you like u have trust issue she just tryin to get the focus off her f*cking up
 
She's definitely hiding something from you op. There was no reason to get mad at your action, it was completely human nature to kindly tell the other guy to Phuk off
 
Dude let me tell you. ****ing women, where to start? Well basically that is exactly what any women would have done if that situation. People look at **** differently, especially when it comes to women and relationships. Like me, i could care less about having a "girlfriend", i love the one night stands and will keep on having them until i don't feel like it any more. What is the point of trying to dedicate all of your love to one girl when there are sooo many out there bro? Of course i want a real relationship but am not interested at this point in my life, maybe down the road but i'm still young and i don't see why only one woman should enjoy my penis??? Lol, but like i said people look at stuff differently, and obviously you are ready for marriage because you want to propose, but look at it like this, if she was ready to break up with you over messaging a dude on facebook, then i don't believe that marriage would mean very much to her. Just my opinion.
 
ARJRCOX said:
Stay off Facebook nothing but problems and drama from that **** stick to AM and f*ck that trick if she pulled that u don't trust me card she is hiding something and is tryin to flip it on you like u have trust issue she just tryin to get the focus off her f*cking up
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I definitely feel like deleting my Facebook at times because it causes more problems than good. I wa definitely pissed she pulls that card because I was like really?! That's the last one that you have?! Your the reason I'm in this state.
 
ThunderHumper said:
She's definitely hiding something from you op. There was no reason to get mad at your action, it was completely human nature to kindly tell the other guy to Phuk off
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I thought it was super professional but of course like a bitch he cried to my girl to my gf instead of being a man and messaging me back
 
TheMeatus101 said:
Dude let me tell you. ****ing women, where to start? Well basically that is exactly what any women would have done if that situation. People look at **** differently, especially when it comes to women and relationships. Like me, i could care less about having a "girlfriend", i love the one night stands and will keep on having them until i don't feel like it any more. What is the point of trying to dedicate all of your love to one girl when there are sooo many out there bro? Of course i want a real relationship but am not interested at this point in my life, maybe down the road but i'm still young and i don't see why only one woman should enjoy my penis??? Lol, but like i said people look at stuff differently, and obviously you are ready for marriage because you want to propose, but look at it like this, if she was ready to break up with you over messaging a dude on facebook, then i don't believe that marriage would mean very much to her. Just my opinion.
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You know man sometimes I feel like cutting my loses with her an going out having one night stands every night. But however I like having a gf at the same time. In the end, I think it comes down to the fact that I don't want to be alone
 
**** it shop around if mine wasn't so cool I'd be looking for one who was there's to many people in the world to spend ur time with ur unhappy with if u get that nasty rot gut feeling in ur gut when u think them two hangin out then you ll never be comfortable with her
 
ARJRCOX said:
**** it shop around if mine wasn't so cool I'd be looking for one who was there's to many people in the world to spend ur time with ur unhappy with if u get that nasty rot gut feeling in ur gut when u think them two hangin out then you ll never be comfortable with her
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Yeah mine Was incredible when we lived together but obviously things changed a bit. Maybe it's work? She has a stressful job too
 
kokobeware2 said:
Yeah mine Was incredible when we lived together but obviously things changed a bit. Maybe it's work? She has a stressful job too
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Quit trying to justify her bad behavior. Your best bet is to end it and get yourself together bro. The insecurities and depression stuff you've got to get over. Thats a big turnoff for women. What I see is you're trying to better yourself by going to school and she's in a way trying to sabotage that by making you feel bad about yourself.

The one night stand thing is only a temporary solutions to your problems. You will feel better banging another broad after breaking up with your girl. But do you really think having one night stands make you a better man or validates you as a man?
 
Havocc said:
Quit trying to justify her bad behavior. Your best bet is to end it and get yourself together bro. The insecurities and depression stuff you've got to get over. Thats a big turnoff for women. What I see is you're trying to better yourself by going to school and she's in a way trying to sabotage that by making you feel bad about yourself.

The one night stand thing is only a temporary solutions to your problems. You will feel better banging another broad after breaking up with your girl. But do you really think having one night stands make you a better man or validates you as a man?
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I TOTALLY AGREE yet I know what it's like to be attached to something and then just have to let it go ( I still miss Lil Debbie's)
 
Dump and run. Do not call. Stay away. Several red flags here. BTW- make no mistake about it "she had the courage to tell me she isn sure she feels the same way about me". Oh, she is sure alright -- she is sure she doesn't feel the way she used to. And "when I couldn't afford a lot of stuff when we were living together, it definitely hindered our relationship" -- run, Forest, run.
 
Beau said:
Dump and run. Do not call. Stay away. Several red flags here. BTW- make no mistake about it "she had the courage to tell me she isn sure she feels the same way about me". Oh, she is sure alright -- she is sure she doesn't feel the way she used to. And "when I couldn't afford a lot of stuff when we were living together, it definitely hindered our relationship" -- run, Forest, run.
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Well I think I am to blame on some of this because I told her I could afford this but I couldn't. She focuses so much on finances and I'm still learning that crap
 
Leave the facebook alone bro. I would move on sounds like shes the material type who enjoys finer things and since u cant really give that to her rt now u should find someone who will except ypur financial position.
 
fame126 said:
Leave the facebook alone bro. I would move on sounds like shes the material type who enjoys finer things and since u cant really give that to her rt now u should find someone who will except ypur financial position.
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Surprisingly she is very simple. We went out to the bar last night and she only drank water cuz she didn't want to waste money. I pretty much told her I'm done with ur bull**** and I needed some time to think things through an I did and she started acting differently and stopped talking to this guy all together. I'm gonna take it one step at a time
 
TheMeatus101 said:
Dude let me tell you. ****ing women, where to start? Well basically that is exactly what any women would have done if that situation. People look at **** differently, especially when it comes to women and relationships. Like me, i could care less about having a "girlfriend", i love the one night stands and will keep on having them until i don't feel like it any more. What is the point of trying to dedicate all of your love to one girl when there are sooo many out there bro? Of course i want a real relationship but am not interested at this point in my life, maybe down the road but i'm still young and i don't see why only one woman should enjoy my penis??? Lol, but like i said people look at stuff differently, and obviously you are ready for marriage because you want to propose, but look at it like this, if she was ready to break up with you over messaging a dude on facebook, then i don't believe that marriage would mean very much to her. Just my opinion.
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Word the f*ck up!
 
kokobeware2 said:
Well I think I am to blame on some of this because I told her I could afford this but I couldn't. She focuses so much on finances and I'm still learning that crap
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OF COURSE you're to blame for SOME of it. But it's a 2 way street, she's to blame for the other half. And everything you've said so far in this thread makes me think "what would I do?"...and the answer is simple. CUT TIES. She pulled the "you don't trust me card", in my experience the only "ladies" who play this card are the ones who actually are hiding something. She got weird with you when you couldn't afford to do/buy certain things. YOU'RE A DAMN STUDENT GOING FOR HIS MASTERS!! How much money does she expect you to have? Does she want you to spend the little cash you do have ALL on her? You have a life, and with the stress of getting a masters degree, deserve AT LEAST a little of YOUR money to spend and do things YOU want to do to blow of some steam and keep stress as low as possible. And speaking of stress, she's obviously not helping you at all in that department.

One last time....get out, stay out, stay away. Facebook sucks. It's full of too much drama, and that's coming from a 30yr old. If you do break up with her permanently, don't be a douche bag and keep her on as your friend and silently stalk her page and posts (that's weak sauce), it will only make things worse. Delete her from your friends until PLENTY of time has passed and you can, if you so choose, "refriend" on FB and have an amicable platonic relationship.

Stop saying, "well this was my fault, that was my fault, she's busy and has a stressful job"...blah, blah, blah. You're only justifying her current selfish and poor behavior and enabling it for the future. She's selfish man. It's quite obvious. I can put up with a lot in people, but I have absolutely no tolerance, or respect for that matter, for selfish people. They turn me off like nothing else.
 
BurghHardcore said:
OF COURSE you're to blame for SOME of it. But it's a 2 way street, she's to blame for the other half. And everything you've said so far in this thread makes me think "what would I do?"...and the answer is simple. CUT TIES. She pulled the "you don't trust me card", in my experience the only "ladies" who play this card are the ones who actually are hiding something. She got weird with you when you couldn't afford to do/buy certain things. YOU'RE A DAMN STUDENT GOING FOR HIS MASTERS!! How much money does she expect you to have? Does she want you to spend the little cash you do have ALL on her? You have a life, and with the stress of getting a masters degree, deserve AT LEAST a little of YOUR money to spend and do things YOU want to do to blow of some steam and keep stress as low as possible. And speaking of stress, she's obviously not helping you at all in that department.

One last time....get out, stay out, stay away. Facebook sucks. It's full of too much drama, and that's coming from a 30yr old. If you do break up with her permanently, don't be a douche bag and keep her on as your friend and silently stalk her page and posts (that's weak sauce), it will only make things worse. Delete her from your friends until PLENTY of time has passed and you can, if you so choose, "refriend" on FB and have an amicable platonic relationship.

Stop saying, "well this was my fault, that was my fault, she's busy and has a stressful job"...blah, blah, blah. You're only justifying her current selfish and poor behavior and enabling it for the future. She's selfish man. It's quite obvious. I can put up with a lot in people, but I have absolutely no tolerance, or respect for that matter, for selfish people. They turn me off like nothing else.
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Thanks for being honest. I needed it. I told her I think I need a break for a while to clear my head. Just to focus on me for a while. I noticed when I moved out I gained quite a bit of unwanted weight. Maybe 10-15 lbs and since I moved home and make all y own meals I lost 6 of them in 2 weeks while my strength is staying the same.

An when it came to me spending money I blew most of it at NP :( lol. I was getting packages all the time and she got pissed
 
kokobeware2 said:
I think it comes down to the fact that I don't want to be alone
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See, in your case i can understand how your not just like "**** that bitch theres more out there" because your one of those guys (of course not meaning one of those guys as in something rare and unsual, i just mean the other half of dudes) that always wants someone there for them, you know to always have someone (another partner) to talk to and just to have that feeling of care and love towards. Me on the other hand hasn't had a gf since 7th grade because i could care less about a bitch. To me it's like why put a label like "girlfriend" on the whole situation, like we have sex and please eachother, we can hangout to just don't put a label on it because you feel that's like the american dream and it's needed to seem regular.
 
move on like others said your 23 and have your whole life ahead of you.she is on the wrong side of her 20's and is looking for a guy that has everything together already she isn't going to wait around for you to get your life on track.move on and use it as a learning experience
 
mich29 said:
move on like others said your 23 and have your whole life ahead of you.she is on the wrong side of her 20's and is looking for a guy that has everything together already she isn't going to wait around for you to get your life on track.move on and use it as a learning experience
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Already did man. Life is much less stressful right now. I finally get to do the things I want to do.
 
kokobeware2 said:
Already did man. Life is much less stressful right now. I finally get to do the things I want to do.
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good to hear.def get out there and have a ton of fun.trust me you have more than enough time to get married and etc.have fun while you can. :)
 
mich29 said:
good to hear.def get out there and have a ton of fun.trust me you have more than enough time to get married and etc.have fun while you can. :)
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I am man. I just told my parent is the best thing about being single is I get to do whatever the hell I want and don't answer to anyone. I want to go out I a bar and drink my face off who cares!
 
All chicks are screwed up. You goal in life is to find one that is the least screwed up. If she is ditching because of hard times, get out and look elsewhere becasue hard times will come again
 
DetMuscle said:
All chicks are screwed up. You goal in life is to find one that is the least screwed up. If she is ditching because of hard times, get out and look elsewhere becasue hard times will come again
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Very true. We broke up because I'm not far enough along in my life and she feels like he is putting too much pressure on me. I call BS
 
kokobeware2 said:
Very true. We broke up because I'm not far enough along in my life and she feels like he is putting too much pressure on me. I call BS
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I didnt get married until I was 40 becasue of that very reason and then married a girl 16 years younger than me. We now have 3 kids with one off to college. No hurry bro is what Im saying. It all works out
 
DetMuscle said:
I didnt get married until I was 40 becasue of that very reason and then married a girl 16 years younger than me. We now have 3 kids with one off to college. No hurry bro is what Im saying. It all works out
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Exactly. I was all set to marry this girl then **** went downhill and I don't know what I was thinking. I'm pretty happy. Plus I plan on running a cycle of SuperDrol or halodrol since I don't have a gf so who cares lol
 
Always find it amazing that it's a male friend that gets involved.

Why spend time alone and one on one with male friends, when your in a relationship.

Just asking for trouble and giving them a sign that your available
 
7ten11 said:
Always find it amazing that it's a male friend that gets involved.

Why spend time alone and one on one with male friends, when your in a relationship.

Just asking for trouble and giving them a sign that your available
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I dunno, its the 21st century. Its not like women are chained to the stove, odds are pretty fair you have more women who you work with than men. going to lunch (even on a non work day) or dinner even isn't a big deal.

I'm a hair older than you, married, and still have a handful of female friends who i'll go do solo things with. Just using one particular one as an example, at a work related conference (she + I no longer work for the same company, but we're in the same industry) someone offered to drive a group over to one of the offsite fun activities, but there were 1 too many of us for the car. She volunteers to sit on my lap, and on the trip we're sharing some cookies from the lunch tray we brought along. Note this isn't she has one cookie I have one, this is she takes a bite and holds it out for me to take a bite. Does that mean anything? giving her signals? no, she knows i'm married and not looking for a business trip one nighter, we're more or less more like brother and sister. I can list off similar things I do with at least another 3-4 women, some married some single.

It definitely seems that there is more to it in this case here and kokobeware2 made the right choice, but it doesn't mean its universally true. Oh and fyi, my wife has gone out to pool halls for playing in tournaments or leagues when I've been away travelling, and has occasionally hit a bar lunchtime with a male coworker of hers. I think the most critical piece in any of this is that you are open and forthcoming with your partner about these things, pretty much any time anything like that goes on I tell her about it as soon as I can. I ended up accidentally at another conference kissing a female friend on the mouth. it was end of the night, we were both half hammered, and our flights were out early the next morning, so we were saying goodbye till the next conference. A hug, and a kiss on the cheek is the norm with her. I went to kiss her right cheek, she went to kiss my right and we met in the middle. she and I laughed about it (hope nobody caught a picture of that to put in the newsletter) , and I told my wife about it later that night over the phone.
 
kokobeware2 said:
If I just started dating the girl I would have a long time ago because I wouldn't care that much. But I feel to emotionally invested
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This is what you call a sunk cost. Don't let past investments cloud your judgement.

During my dating years, I took this advice: If the current relationship doesn't meet a minimum set of standards; move on. If it is not perfect now, the likelihood of failure skyrockets in the future.

You need to be able to speak freely about, and have the same views about:

- MONEY. If one of you lacks discipline or is dishonest about it. You will fail.
- CHILDREN. Get this one straight before buying a ring. Everything from "do we even want children" and "how many" to how you will discipline them and your views.
- HARD TRUTHS: I strongly believe that if you can't tell your partner he/she is fat, you can't have a successful relationship. It's not about being fat. It's about being able to comfortably share the truth with your partner without fear of retribution or negative reaction. It's about being emotionally secure and mature. Insecurity is the bane of any relationship.
- POLITICS. If you both have strong opinions, make sure you at least hold in common the core values. It is not your parent's country anymore. The ideas on either side of the debate(s) are so radically different from each other that it boils down to core values. My parents were not affiliated with the same party when I was growing up - but who cared when they were both so close to center. Can't do that anymore.
 
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kokobeware2 said:
A final update on this thread- dumped her two days ago
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atta boy

DetMuscle said:
All chicks are screwed up. You goal in life is to find one that is the least screwed up.
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I agree to an extent, but only on the condition that as men, we have our share of equal flaws/hangups. Believe me, I'm not trying to say that I don't feel the same way some times, but I know I've definitely done a lot of things over the course of my life that don't make me perfect, either.
 
EasyEJL said:
I dunno, its the 21st century. Its not like women are chained to the stove, odds are pretty fair you have more women who you work with than men. going to lunch (even on a non work day) or dinner even isn't a big deal.

I'm a hair older than you, married, and still have a handful of female friends who i'll go do solo things with. Just using one particular one as an example, at a work related conference (she + I no longer work for the same company, but we're in the same industry) someone offered to drive a group over to one of the offsite fun activities, but there were 1 too many of us for the car. She volunteers to sit on my lap, and on the trip we're sharing some cookies from the lunch tray we brought along. Note this isn't she has one cookie I have one, this is she takes a bite and holds it out for me to take a bite. Does that mean anything? giving her signals? no, she knows i'm married and not looking for a business trip one nighter, we're more or less more like brother and sister. I can list off similar things I do with at least another 3-4 women, some married some single.

It definitely seems that there is more to it in this case here and kokobeware2 made the right choice, but it doesn't mean its universally true. Oh and fyi, my wife has gone out to pool halls for playing in tournaments or leagues when I've been away travelling, and has occasionally hit a bar lunchtime with a male coworker of hers. I think the most critical piece in any of this is that you are open and forthcoming with your partner about these things, pretty much any time anything like that goes on I tell her about it as soon as I can. I ended up accidentally at another conference kissing a female friend on the mouth. it was end of the night, we were both half hammered, and our flights were out early the next morning, so we were saying goodbye till the next conference. A hug, and a kiss on the cheek is the norm with her. I went to kiss her right cheek, she went to kiss my right and we met in the middle. she and I laughed about it (hope nobody caught a picture of that to put in the newsletter) , and I told my wife about it later that night over the phone.
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I agree with you. I don't care if she has guy friends. I care when they cross the line. Then when I question him trying to keep my relationship she flips it on me how I want right when I did it? Then I told her I am protecting what is mean. He went on I say how she I not a piece of meat and all that other crap
 
SokVichet said:
This is what you call a sunk cost. Don't let past investments cloud your judgement.

During my dating years, I took this advice: If the current relationship doesn't meet a minimum set of standards; move on. If it is not perfect now, the likelihood of failure skyrockets in the future.

You need to be able to speak freely about, and have the same views about:

- MONEY. If one of you lacks discipline or is dishonest about it. You will fail.
- CHILDREN. Get this one straight before buying a ring. Everything from "do we even want children" and "how many" to how you will discipline them and your views.
- HARD TRUTHS: I strongly believe that if you can't tell your partner he/she is fat, you can't have a successful relationship. It's not about being fat. It's about being able to comfortably share the truth with your partner without fear of retribution or negative reaction. It's about being emotionally secure and mature. Insecurity is the bane of any relationship.
- POLITICS. If you both have strong opinions, make sure you at least hold in common the core values. It is not your parent's country anymore. The ideas on either side of the debate(s) are so radically different from each other that it boils down to core values. My parents were not affiliated with the same party when I was growing up - but who cared when they were both so close to center. Can't do that anymore.
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I'm actually very pleased with this post since I read it I realized I like to spend money and she likes to save it we did agree on the kids thing, the hat truths I always seemed like she would be honest with my when I started getting a little stomach but if I told her about her pooch I would sleep on the couch. Politics we somewhat agreed on but not exactly eye to eye. So let's say 3/4 we didn't agree on, I think that is only 25% possibility it will last.

If we add in the topic of sex how I always wanted too and she rarely wanted too, to me, she is a lost cause
 
MidwestBeast said:
atta boy

I agree to an extent, but only on the condition that as men, we have our share of equal flaws/hangups. Believe me, I'm not trying to say that I don't feel the same way some times, but I know I've definitely done a lot of things over the course of my life that don't make me perfect, either.
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Thanks for following up beast.
 
kokobeware2 said:
I agree with you. I don't care if she has guy friends. I care when they cross the line. Then when I question him trying to keep my relationship she flips it on me how I want right when I did it? Then I told her I am protecting what is mean. He went on I say how she I not a piece of meat and all that other crap
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see the thing is though, she should have been the one to contact him first, or tell him "you may be developing feelings, but i'm not and nothing is going to happen". for instance an old ex boyfriend of my wife has contacted her via facebook, and has been messaging her. he sounds unhappy about his marriage, has asked my wife not to post on his wall because his wife will flip out, etc. What I said to my wife is "unless you are interested in rekindling a relationship with him , its a dick move to hide a friendship from his wife, and he's probably looking for more than friendship. Your call what you want to do, but how would you feel if I did that with my ex wife?". I'd never message him, he isn't in my relationship, my wife is and the problem would be with her, not whoever the guy is.
 
Hey Koko ... don't get too choked up on this girl. You're still VERY young. If it's meant to be - it's meant to be - if not, then a better one will come along. Seriously.

And - here's another thing ... don't be jealous of other guys. Men like to be possessive like that when they're young - I know I was, but I'm not anymore. If Mrs. Honda said she was tired of sex with only one guy for almost 30 years (me) ... and needed some variety - I'd let her do it as long as she gave me all the dirty details of it later! Cuz - there's two things I know ... she ain't gonna find a guy in better shape than me at my age - and second thing is, she whips her "wares" out on an unsuspecting dude - and his head will explode from her nuclear powered sexuality! LOL.
 
kokobeware2 said:
A final update on this thread- dumped her two days ago
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Smart move.
Anyone who expects a guy who is busting his tail to get a masters to have a pocket full of resources is severly hampered in thinking.
And old boy was trying to sneak in on your girl. When she goes to a male friend who likes her when you guys have problems it is trouble.

I admire your want to be in a monogamous relationship though.
Got married at a young age myself and my ex wife wanted material things but got mad that I had to work all the time to get them.

The guys here have given you pretty good advice in general.

All I can add is always keep open and honest communication, be able to take constructive criticism, and make sure your main goals in life match,
 
HondaV65 said:
Hey Koko ... don't get too choked up on this girl. You're still VERY young. If it's meant to be - it's meant to be - if not, then a better one will come along. Seriously.

And - here's another thing ... don't be jealous of other guys. Men like to be possessive like that when they're young - I know I was, but I'm not anymore. If Mrs. Honda said she was tired of sex with only one guy for almost 30 years (me) ... and needed some variety - I'd let her do it as long as she gave me all the dirty details of it later! Cuz - there's two things I know ... she ain't gonna find a guy in better shape than me at my age - and second thing is, she whips her "wares" out on an unsuspecting dude - and his head will explode from her nuclear powered sexuality! LOL.
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Thanks for the advice. I actually went out to dinner with my ex tonight and she told me she was pissed I didn't stand up to her when she started to "walk all over me". I told her I haven't. Been happy for a while and then she started crying and it was all a mess. So in actuality I did what she wanted me too and it made things worse
 
EasyEJL said:
I dunno, its the 21st century. Its not like women are chained to the stove, odds are pretty fair you have more women who you work with than men. going to lunch (even on a non work day) or dinner even isn't a big deal.

I'm a hair older than you, married, and still have a handful of female friends who i'll go do solo things with. Just using one particular one as an example, at a work related conference (she + I no longer work for the same company, but we're in the same industry) someone offered to drive a group over to one of the offsite fun activities, but there were 1 too many of us for the car. She volunteers to sit on my lap, and on the trip we're sharing some cookies from the lunch tray we brought along. Note this isn't she has one cookie I have one, this is she takes a bite and holds it out for me to take a bite. Does that mean anything? giving her signals? no, she knows i'm married and not looking for a business trip one nighter, we're more or less more like brother and sister. I can list off similar things I do with at least another 3-4 women, some married some single.

It definitely seems that there is more to it in this case here and kokobeware2 made the right choice, but it doesn't mean its universally true. Oh and fyi, my wife has gone out to pool halls for playing in tournaments or leagues when I've been away travelling, and has occasionally hit a bar lunchtime with a male coworker of hers. I think the most critical piece in any of this is that you are open and forthcoming with your partner about these things, pretty much any time anything like that goes on I tell her about it as soon as I can. I ended up accidentally at another conference kissing a female friend on the mouth. it was end of the night, we were both half hammered, and our flights were out early the next morning, so we were saying goodbye till the next conference. A hug, and a kiss on the cheek is the norm with her. I went to kiss her right cheek, she went to kiss my right and we met in the middle. she and I laughed about it (hope nobody caught a picture of that to put in the newsletter) , and I told my wife about it later that night over the phone.
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I see your point with this.
I agree. But also have been burnt before with so called male friends that all they want is to crack on to her and flirt with her all the time.
This is what I can't handle, is guys that are clearly there for no good and she doesn't shut them down and continue to associate with them.
There's the problem
 
7ten11 said:
I see your point with this.
I agree. But also have been burnt before with so called male friends that all they want is to crack on to her and flirt with her all the time.
This is what I can't handle, is guys that are clearly there for no good and she doesn't shut them down and continue to associate with them.
There's the problem
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The problem lies with her and him. Him because he knows she had a bf and her because she is welcoming it
 
Yeah and as such, I'd only talk to him first if he was a friend of mine. Now if she talked to him about it, asked him to stop and he didn't, then I'd get involved with him. Probably in unpleasant ways (for him)
 
EasyEJL said:
Yeah and as such, I'd only talk to him first if he was a friend of mine. Now if she talked to him about it, asked him to stop and he didn't, then I'd get involved with him. Probably in unpleasant ways (for him)
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Right. Well I wasn't thinking rationally and I wanted him to know I knew what he was up too. However maybe I did cross the line. I would never admit to her she was right though
 
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