enhanced
Well-known member
Damn, I didn't think of that!! I'm only a 7 hour drive from Dallas!! Might have to strongly consider that!!!
2010 College Football Season
- Thread starter plenny
- Start date
Damn, I didn't think of that!! I'm only a 7 hour drive from Dallas!! Might have to strongly consider that!!!
rubberring
Well-known member
Stole this from another forum. It's the life of an Arkansas fan days before the Alabama game:
Thursday
1. Hangover... beer is good for hangovers.
2. Watch video of Arkansas victory over Alabama in 1998. Become convinced that Alabama is worse now than they were then. We are better than the New England Patriots.
3. Drink Beer. Log onto internet. Skip Hog forums... seen that before. Log straight into Alabama boards.
4. Alabama posters think they will win (arrogant bastards). Don't they realize that they are playing the Hogs!?! Hog football was not invented, it was ordained by God.
5. Log on to Hog message board and tell Frankenswine (how did he come up with better name than me?), Hawglips_Hoolahan, and BaconeBacon about arrogant bama fans. They agree it is crazy to think Bama can beat us at home... or in Tuscaloosa. After all, KARK-4 picked us to win. Coordinate massive drive by flaming effort against Bama (arrogant bastards) boards.
6. Log into Bama message board. Read post prediction of an Alabama win by 2 touchdowns. Get angry and post response about delusional rednecks from Alabama. How dare you think you will beat us by two touchdowns? Our defense is improved and your defense is worse. Our offense is improved, your offense is the same as it was last year.
7. Drink more alcohol and post on Hog forums about delusional Bama fans and make incest jokes. Read homer articles on Hog fan site.
8. Go to bed and dream about how Ryan Mallett is going to single handily skull drag the over-rated Bama team that hasn't played anyone other than an over-rated PSU team that would lose to Georgia by 70.
Friday
1. Wake up with hangover. It feels good. It reminds me of how it feels to get skull drag monkey stomped by Alabama and is how they will feel this year when Ryan Mallett wins the game, the Heisman, and the hand of Erin Andrews tomorrow. Make scrambled eggs with beer.
2. Log into the internet. Create new screen name "HoggyWanKenobe" because Ryan Mallett doesn't throw passes with his arm -- he uses Jedi mind powers to will the ball to his receivers -- all of whom are 7 feet tall, 400 pounds, and run the 40 in 3-flat.
3. Make post on Hog forum about teaching delusional Bama fans a thing or two.
4. Drink Alcohol. Log in to Bama site. Post about delusional they all are and how Ryan Mallett will destroy their defense Saturday. Twice.
5. Complain about post being moved to rivalry forum or deleted entirely. Run back to Hogtown and complain about arrogant bastards who are too stupid and delusional to realize that Master Yoda is coming for their children. Hogs with frickin Laser beams on their heads. Drink alcohol.
6. Post on Arkansas and Bama forums about how Arkansas will be the BCS champion and win the NFC, NBA, and Ryan Mallett will cap the year off by destroying the Death Star. With a football thrown so hard it goes back in time to a galaxy far, far away. Drink alcohol.
7. Read Hog articles as best as possible. Something must have been wrong with the printer because the words are fuzzy. And moving. Can't read them so make up stuff that it probably says anyway like, "Hogs to monkey stomp Bama 70-2." Bama scores a safety when Mallett throws the ball so hard that it circumnavigates the globe and lands out of the back of our own end zone.
8. Pass out chanting "Soooiie pig!" over and over.
Saturday
1. Wake up still drunk. Make scrambled beer. With cheetos.
2. Watch Gameday. Get mad about Corso picking Alabama. Get mad about losers being in Boise. Who goes to Iowa anyway?
3. Log into Bama sites and read. Get fired up but don't post... gonna let those rednecks have it after we win.
4. Kickoff time. More beer.
5. Watch Arkansas get shut down for first half. Alabama scores 21. Halftime score 21-7. No problem. Petrino is genius and Saban is a job hopping moron. He is probably talking to Jerry Jones right now, while Petrino is coaching and making halftime adjustments.
6. Throw stuff at TV. Scream at cheating refs. Beer gone... drink rubbing alcohol. Kick dog.
7. Decide Bama got lucky. If not for Ingram's 60-yard and Richarson's 40 and 30-yard TD runs, Bama would have only had a little over 100 yards rushing. They got lucky our secondary is not that good. A freshman QB at Georgia picked us apart too. They are still overrated. Arrogant bastards. The dark side prevailed against Anakin too but he won in the end.
8. Log into Bama site and Hog site. Too drunk to post. Drink wife's fingernail polish remover and vanilla extract. Arrogant bastards... next year. Pass out and dream about Shaud Williams running 80 yards.
:lol::lol::lol:
Thursday
1. Hangover... beer is good for hangovers.
2. Watch video of Arkansas victory over Alabama in 1998. Become convinced that Alabama is worse now than they were then. We are better than the New England Patriots.
3. Drink Beer. Log onto internet. Skip Hog forums... seen that before. Log straight into Alabama boards.
4. Alabama posters think they will win (arrogant bastards). Don't they realize that they are playing the Hogs!?! Hog football was not invented, it was ordained by God.
5. Log on to Hog message board and tell Frankenswine (how did he come up with better name than me?), Hawglips_Hoolahan, and BaconeBacon about arrogant bama fans. They agree it is crazy to think Bama can beat us at home... or in Tuscaloosa. After all, KARK-4 picked us to win. Coordinate massive drive by flaming effort against Bama (arrogant bastards) boards.
6. Log into Bama message board. Read post prediction of an Alabama win by 2 touchdowns. Get angry and post response about delusional rednecks from Alabama. How dare you think you will beat us by two touchdowns? Our defense is improved and your defense is worse. Our offense is improved, your offense is the same as it was last year.
7. Drink more alcohol and post on Hog forums about delusional Bama fans and make incest jokes. Read homer articles on Hog fan site.
8. Go to bed and dream about how Ryan Mallett is going to single handily skull drag the over-rated Bama team that hasn't played anyone other than an over-rated PSU team that would lose to Georgia by 70.
Friday
1. Wake up with hangover. It feels good. It reminds me of how it feels to get skull drag monkey stomped by Alabama and is how they will feel this year when Ryan Mallett wins the game, the Heisman, and the hand of Erin Andrews tomorrow. Make scrambled eggs with beer.
2. Log into the internet. Create new screen name "HoggyWanKenobe" because Ryan Mallett doesn't throw passes with his arm -- he uses Jedi mind powers to will the ball to his receivers -- all of whom are 7 feet tall, 400 pounds, and run the 40 in 3-flat.
3. Make post on Hog forum about teaching delusional Bama fans a thing or two.
4. Drink Alcohol. Log in to Bama site. Post about delusional they all are and how Ryan Mallett will destroy their defense Saturday. Twice.
5. Complain about post being moved to rivalry forum or deleted entirely. Run back to Hogtown and complain about arrogant bastards who are too stupid and delusional to realize that Master Yoda is coming for their children. Hogs with frickin Laser beams on their heads. Drink alcohol.
6. Post on Arkansas and Bama forums about how Arkansas will be the BCS champion and win the NFC, NBA, and Ryan Mallett will cap the year off by destroying the Death Star. With a football thrown so hard it goes back in time to a galaxy far, far away. Drink alcohol.
7. Read Hog articles as best as possible. Something must have been wrong with the printer because the words are fuzzy. And moving. Can't read them so make up stuff that it probably says anyway like, "Hogs to monkey stomp Bama 70-2." Bama scores a safety when Mallett throws the ball so hard that it circumnavigates the globe and lands out of the back of our own end zone.
8. Pass out chanting "Soooiie pig!" over and over.
Saturday
1. Wake up still drunk. Make scrambled beer. With cheetos.
2. Watch Gameday. Get mad about Corso picking Alabama. Get mad about losers being in Boise. Who goes to Iowa anyway?
3. Log into Bama sites and read. Get fired up but don't post... gonna let those rednecks have it after we win.
4. Kickoff time. More beer.
5. Watch Arkansas get shut down for first half. Alabama scores 21. Halftime score 21-7. No problem. Petrino is genius and Saban is a job hopping moron. He is probably talking to Jerry Jones right now, while Petrino is coaching and making halftime adjustments.
6. Throw stuff at TV. Scream at cheating refs. Beer gone... drink rubbing alcohol. Kick dog.
7. Decide Bama got lucky. If not for Ingram's 60-yard and Richarson's 40 and 30-yard TD runs, Bama would have only had a little over 100 yards rushing. They got lucky our secondary is not that good. A freshman QB at Georgia picked us apart too. They are still overrated. Arrogant bastards. The dark side prevailed against Anakin too but he won in the end.
8. Log into Bama site and Hog site. Too drunk to post. Drink wife's fingernail polish remover and vanilla extract. Arrogant bastards... next year. Pass out and dream about Shaud Williams running 80 yards.
:lol::lol::lol:
plenny
Active member
YAHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! what a great day off today. So my local radio station had a contest to win 2 penn state tickets. They ask Penn State trivia questions. Im 1 of 5 qualifyers. Will find out in 2 more hours if i won them. Wish me luck.
the question: which former penn state assistant now is on Temple's coaching staff?
the question: which former penn state assistant now is on Temple's coaching staff?
plenny
Active member
Arkansas by 3 in OT:tapedshut:
bikeswimlive
Well-known member
-That was prophetic (that is my xbox live gamertag).
Q. - If two BAMA football players are in the same car, who's driving?
A. - The policeman
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rubberring
Well-known member
The answer: Who cares?
I'll be checking to see if that's where you put your 10 confidence points, Nostradamus.
A real Penn State fan would be pulling for Bama the rest of the way. Every win by them helps your strength of schedule. A loss to Arkansas just proves there's yet another team much better than yours.
Look, I'm sorry your boys couldn't score a single TD against Bama... and that Saban put the brakes on and turned it into a mercy killing. I realize that had to be humiliating. I know you were relying on the ol' "freshman QB" excuse... until Penn State's defensive line began to disintegrate in the first quarter. Oops. Hey man, there's always next year. No, wait... they'll have a "sophomore QB," and will be in year two of "rebuilding." Well, still.
No need to be a little bitch about it all year though. Christ, I hope the Cowboys win a game soon, so you don't continue to feel so impotent.
Q. - How do you get to Fayetteville?
A. - Go south until you smell it, then west until you step in it.
Btw, there's no way you didn't chuckle at this part: "Bama scores a safety when Mallett throws the ball so hard that it circumnavigates the globe and lands out of the back of our own end zone." :lol:
bikeswimlive
Well-known member
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Q: Why can't most of the Bammer players get into a huddle on the field?
A: It is a parole violation to associate with known felons.
Per wikipedia (search 'Forrest Gump'):
"Although Forrest has well below average intelligence, his mother is able to get him into a public school - by sleeping with the principal. On his first day of school, he meets a girl named Jenny whose life at times is followed in parallel to Forrest's. Having discarded his leg braces, (used to straighten his spine) his ability to run incredibly fast gets him into college on a football scholarship."
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.....So that is when Alabama started accepting the mentally challenged onto their football team. The tradition has never stopped.
Q: Why can't most of the Bammer players get into a huddle on the field?
A: It is a parole violation to associate with known felons.
Per wikipedia (search 'Forrest Gump'):
"Although Forrest has well below average intelligence, his mother is able to get him into a public school - by sleeping with the principal. On his first day of school, he meets a girl named Jenny whose life at times is followed in parallel to Forrest's. Having discarded his leg braces, (used to straighten his spine) his ability to run incredibly fast gets him into college on a football scholarship."
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.....So that is when Alabama started accepting the mentally challenged onto their football team. The tradition has never stopped.
rubberring
Well-known member
bikeswimlive
Well-known member
Touche.
However, we did send him to a center for the disabled:
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Tomahawk88
Well-known member
:rofl:
plenny
Active member
plenny
Active member
Im am the proud owner of two tickets for PSU/Temple game. Thank you WQKX 94.1.
got the call around 10am....Ianswered the toughest question. It pays to be a football geek.
Anyway, just got back from the mall, had to get a new white Derek Moye jersey #5.....................BOOYA!!!
got the call around 10am....Ianswered the toughest question. It pays to be a football geek.
Anyway, just got back from the mall, had to get a new white Derek Moye jersey #5.....................BOOYA!!!
Tomahawk88
Well-known member
Congrats man :thumbsup:
rubberring
Well-known member
Congrats on your tickets. Now...
You are a straight-up liar. That is distortion at its best. Penn State has 50 freshman on their entire team. Of those who traveled, only 19 of them were freshman. And how many of them started, plenny? TWO. Alabama played more freshman that PSU did.
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Remember the entire 2009 season and the first few months of 2010... you know, when you were talking all that smack about how Penn State was gonna bring it?
I detest liars more than I do crybabies. You are the epitome of weaksauce.
P.S. Please figure out the QUOTE function. Seriously.
BUCKNUTS
Board Supporter
Dude seriously all you have to do is hit the quote button and type your reply. :frustrate
BUCKNUTS
Board Supporter
Well it's week 4 and I still have no clue who my Buckeyes really are or how good we are. Who's coming in to Columbus to "test" us this week? Eastern Michigan the worst team in the MAC last year. I get it that in the BCS era everybody schedules these games but they are a waste and accomplish nothing as far as I'm concerned. Alabama is playing Arkansas, Boise is playing Oregon St, LSU is playing West Va and we are playing Eastern frickin Michigan. EMU has one chance in the game Saturday and that's if the bus carrying Ohio State to the stadium crashes and everyone dies. Good luck to everybody tomorrow, except the Michigan fans.
rubberring
Well-known member
I quit tying my shoelaces.
Not because I'm a D. Robinson fan... but because I'm so phucking lazy. :lol:
plenny
Active member
thats what i do. for some reason it bothers only one bitter person.
plenny
Active member
Dude!!!! Im just telling you what was on pennlive.com. 50 freshman were brought down to that there tuscaloosa:frustrate:frustrate
rubberring
Well-known member
Ryan Mallett says he's going to "Put on a show" today. Maybe he will... but that type of confidence is bordering dangerously on arrogance. Seems at least one columnist agrees with my observation. If... if... Alabama wins this game in surprising fashion, this article might provide some insight on how that went down. On the other hand, if Bama loses, there will be no excuses.
May the best team win.
ROLL TIDE.
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“Yeah, we’re much better than a year ago,” Coach Bobby Petrino said.
Maybe they are. But don’t think the Tide hasn’t been listening, taking it all in and quietly waiting for Saturday. Actually, Alabama may be even more motivated than the home team.
For example, undefeated quarterback Greg McElroy is again being overshadowed by 6-foot-7 Ryan Mallett, who has been in the national spotlight practically non-stop this week after finally leading a last-minute victory (albeit at Georgia). Mallett was similarly hyped last year and after McElroy clearly outperformed his counterpart admitted that it caused him to play with a chip on his shoulder.
Think it’s back?
Mallett is even suddenly hailed as a Heisman Trophy frontrunner and the man to beat should the Razorbacks win Saturday.
Think the current holder of the award might have something to say about that?
Alabama has known for six months that Arkansas may be the team to beat in the SEC West. Think Saban and defensive coordinator Kirby Smart don’t have some defensive surprises dialed up?
Think the intensity hasn’t been ratcheting up?
“Yeah, I think we practiced a little better,” Saban said Thursday. “I think guys are a little more attentive in meetings. I think guys have all the respect for teams in the league, especially the team that we’re playing. I think their interest level is elevated in terms of what they want to accomplish and try to do.
“I think the preparation has been fairly good, practice has been good. The attention to detail has been good.”
Attention to detail.
Opening statement.
You don’t have to read between the lines to figure out that while one team is trying to show some confidence the other already has a swagger, and anyone who doesn’t believe that Arkansas hasn’t fueled Alabama’s motivations even more, and on many levels, should think again."
May the best team win.
ROLL TIDE.
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“Yeah, we’re much better than a year ago,” Coach Bobby Petrino said.
Maybe they are. But don’t think the Tide hasn’t been listening, taking it all in and quietly waiting for Saturday. Actually, Alabama may be even more motivated than the home team.
For example, undefeated quarterback Greg McElroy is again being overshadowed by 6-foot-7 Ryan Mallett, who has been in the national spotlight practically non-stop this week after finally leading a last-minute victory (albeit at Georgia). Mallett was similarly hyped last year and after McElroy clearly outperformed his counterpart admitted that it caused him to play with a chip on his shoulder.
Think it’s back?
Mallett is even suddenly hailed as a Heisman Trophy frontrunner and the man to beat should the Razorbacks win Saturday.
Think the current holder of the award might have something to say about that?
Alabama has known for six months that Arkansas may be the team to beat in the SEC West. Think Saban and defensive coordinator Kirby Smart don’t have some defensive surprises dialed up?
Think the intensity hasn’t been ratcheting up?
“Yeah, I think we practiced a little better,” Saban said Thursday. “I think guys are a little more attentive in meetings. I think guys have all the respect for teams in the league, especially the team that we’re playing. I think their interest level is elevated in terms of what they want to accomplish and try to do.
“I think the preparation has been fairly good, practice has been good. The attention to detail has been good.”
Attention to detail.
Opening statement.
You don’t have to read between the lines to figure out that while one team is trying to show some confidence the other already has a swagger, and anyone who doesn’t believe that Arkansas hasn’t fueled Alabama’s motivations even more, and on many levels, should think again."
bikeswimlive
Well-known member
The madness has begun.
bikeswimlive
Well-known member
Two plays?!?! Really?!
rubberring
Well-known member
Bama's secondary is clueless... and McElroy looks scared. I just hope it doesn't get ugly.
enhanced
Well-known member
Going into the 4th & EMU is giving OSU a little bit of a fight, eh? I know I enjoyed the MI win today, even if it was against Bowling Green.. Our O looked pretty good. Forcier looked great passing & D Gardner looked pretty good too for a true Freshman. Shoelace went out early w/ an injury. I don't know why, but I keep thinking that was a fake injury to put the other 2 qb's in & get some real playing time..
Like you Bucknuts, I won't know who we are until we get into the conf. play..
I know Ark is giving Saban all he can handle right now!! His devil horns are starting to come out! Dude is pissed!!!! lol
BUCKNUTS
Board Supporter
46 point lead with 8 minutes left to play is hardly a fight. I do agree though that it won't be until conference play to see who's who in the Big Ten
bikeswimlive
Well-known member
... ....
rubberring
Well-known member
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BUCKNUTS
Board Supporter
73 points is the most I can remember OSU scoring in the Tressel era he's usually got the team in the victory formation taking knees in the 3rd quarter. Ole shoelaces got banged up again I can't see him making it through a season at his size being used the way he is. I can't wait for November 27th in Columbus...Buckeyes by 24.
bikeswimlive
Well-known member
I had to compose myself before logging back in. I'm writing a letter to coach Petrino with a simple piece of coaching advice The letter is as follows:
Dear Coach Petrino,
A regulation NCAA Division One Bowl Subdivision football game consists of two ****ing halves. The recent performances by your team against Georgia and Alabama seem to indicate you don't realize this. Also, please give Ryan Mallett my regards because I am so impressed with his canon arm when he uses it to throw 103 mph passes at wide open receivers five yards in front of him. I was curious however, when he decided to use his vagina to throw the football away on what should have been the game winning drive (leading to an interception that my crippled cousin could have made). I would have recommended perhaps using the canon arm in that situation.
Sincerely,
A disgusted Hog fan
Dear Coach Petrino,
A regulation NCAA Division One Bowl Subdivision football game consists of two ****ing halves. The recent performances by your team against Georgia and Alabama seem to indicate you don't realize this. Also, please give Ryan Mallett my regards because I am so impressed with his canon arm when he uses it to throw 103 mph passes at wide open receivers five yards in front of him. I was curious however, when he decided to use his vagina to throw the football away on what should have been the game winning drive (leading to an interception that my crippled cousin could have made). I would have recommended perhaps using the canon arm in that situation.
Sincerely,
A disgusted Hog fan
rubberring
Well-known member
bsl, congrats on a hard-fought SEC slugfest. It's hard to believe I watched an Alabama win. Didn't feel like it at the time!
Mallett tried to do way too much. Like his coach kept screaming: "Hike the damn ball!" He thinks he's the black Peyton Manning. :laugh: He put the Hogs in a great position, then absolutely choked.
Bama's corners and LBs got w-o-r-k-e-d big-time in the first half. Played much better in the second. I'm just relieved they never panicked... like I did.
The Tide has A LOT of work to do.
The Great Escape.
I'm nauseated and exhausted.
BUCKNUTS
Board Supporter
Isn't that what Tressel said about Terell Pryor? Mallet's a big white guy.
rubberring
Well-known member
That's debatable. Have you heard him speak? :afro:
BUCKNUTS
Board Supporter
no I have not. Is he "gangsta"?
rubberring
Well-known member
tattedsailor
Member
Hell yes! He's straight from the hoods yo. Seriously though, I thought I was gonna have a heart attack at work I. The first half! Arkansas' receivers were open like a mother****in waffle house! Great game bsl! I know its tough to go down like that when u got the game pretty much sewed up.
bikeswimlive
Well-known member
A tale of two halves. Mallett did try and do way too much. Calling two/three audibles at the line? I mean really?! We also left too many points off the board(the easy pick six in the first quarter, the interceptions, field goals instead of TD's).
Either way I know that when we play our best we can play with anyone in the country. I also learned Ingram will be the second repeat Heisman in history.
bikeswimlive
Well-known member
tattedsailor
Member
I hope you're right about Ingram because, honestly, nobody in the NCAA compares to him. I just feel his 2 game absence is gonna bite him in the ass
rubberring
Well-known member
Texas got drilled today... at home... by a California team... who likely have homosexual players... with liberal ideals.
Just sayin'.
:lol:
Just sayin'.
:lol:
bikeswimlive
Well-known member
rubberring
Well-known member
Yeah, thank gawd it was UCLA. If it had been Lame and Monte, all we'd be hearing is how they're going to win an AP Nat'l Championship.
rubberring
Well-known member
On more thing... Why do you guys even bother trying to beat me at Pick 'Em? My picking style is impetuous. My strategy is impregnable. I'm just ferocious! I want your heart. I want to eat your confidence points. Praise be to Bear Bryant!
bikeswimlive
Well-known member
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