Is there a pheramone that will make wives have sex

[Ribo68]

Sorry, I'm going to have to call BS on this one. I do all that stuff all the time and the wife is impervious to it all. I've tried about everything I know and nothing works. I know you're not supposed to ask for sources, but were can I get some chloroform?
So anyway, I'm waiting for the "magic" supplement to come out that makes women horny. Anyone got any leads on this?

Pick up this book, "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. Chances are that even though you are doing "all those things", you still aren't speaking "your" wife's love language. And thus, she ain't speakin' yours!

 

[B5150]

This is perhaps one of the more insitefull posts I have read today!!
..... I always say forplay starts before dinner (although I am not married)

Actually, none of that is really "forplay" like what most guys think,.. or even what I consider forplay.
What B5150 describes is more like allowing your advances to sink in...
A woman needs to be relaxed enough and kinda low stress (although high stress can work- not sure in a long term marrage) so that she is RECEPTIVE to suggestion. (and I don't mean "Hun,.. how about you get on the bed and take your cloaths off and..." - Seriously,.. if thats what's what on your mind your better off just taking her caveman style... AFTER the dishes are put away of course

Pheramones,.. Im not quite sure their advantage is any better then a man who knows how a woman works/thinks.

Just like we do in the gym,.. you gotta change it up every few months..
If you've been doing the leading.. leading her and taking in the dominate role ,she will WANT to submit.. (I dont know how else to put that, but I dont exactly mean like S&M here :icon_lol: ) Then switch it up to a more "romancing" role... where you use a little more flattery perhaps,.... write a VERY descriptive email that she reads about an erotic massage... beleive me,.. she will be thinking about that ALL day.. have your game on and ready (to fullfill that "fantasy" .....with women, its all about how you make them FEEL... She will be ready to go as soon as she gets home..

(lol-= a lil side note... I have about 3 very descriptive emails I send to a woman BEFORE a "date" ... one is a very romantic-like date senerio,... another is a very descriptive erotic massage where the story ends just as its getting "good" -lol,.. let HER imagination finish it... and another where I just TOTALLY take her... Most of the time, she will tell me now she's crazy horney,.. and hours later, when we get up,... We never make it out for drinks until much later ;-) ..... I'll send em to ya if you like... consider it 3 free phuck passes if you will )\

One POWERFULL move you can pull,... is do the above,.. massage,.. candles, sented oil (coconut is good) and DON'T go for bullseye!!
You'd be suprised how the push and pull will work! Next time she's not "in the mood",.. say "I know,.. I just wanted to put my lips against your skin and kiss your neck"...
lol- time and time again, a woman wondering WHY a man doesnt want to sleep with her ALWAYS gets her worked up... Its why THEY run when your chasing them, and THEY jump your bones when you Don't want em... :duel:

lol- Im probably not saying anything new here... but I have used some "mones" and I think that the assurence I had that the females would want me more then they actually might projected onto them,.. if anything.
It's all perceived value anyways...

I always get a real good laugh when I hear what single guys believe married life is going to be like and how those single life skills they have will apply when they are married.

When she has cares that are in the lines of; breakfast lunch and dinner for your family, laundry, groceries and house keeping for a family, breast feeding, diapers, sick kids, kids doctor visits, kids homework, kids baths, kids dentists, kids gymnastics, kids cheer, kids college tuition, kids braces, etc, etc, the entire playing field is changed.

But, hey, what do I know

 

[riskarb]

Begs the question, why would anyone want to have sex with their wife?

 

[xtraflossy]

:toofunny:

I always get a real good laugh when I hear what single guys believe married life is going to be like and how those single life skills they have will apply when they are married.

When she has cares that are in the lines of; breakfast lunch and dinner for your family, laundry, groceries and house keeping for a family, breast feeding, diapers, sick kids, kids doctor visits, kids homework, kids baths, kids dentists, kids gymnastics, kids cheer, kids college tuition, kids braces, etc, etc, the entire playing field is changed.

But, hey, what do I know

Lol- It IS pretty funny ya know :toofunny:
EXCEPT for the fact that I was giving advise from personal expirence. Despite the fact I am not married. Being married is NEVER a requirement for gettign a woman in the mood

I DONT know what life is like when your married- I hear about it enough to get as many years being "single" as I can. I dont preceive it to be "bad",.. but It does add to responsabilities.

In short: I have seen too many wives ACTIVLTY TRY to jump my bones (with the SAME things going on you mention) despite the "playing field".
And I've made that happen repeatedly via email (although, I DO tend to go for -minus- the married part,.. ).. which means that gettign her in the mood is no biggie... once your there (and in any case where she is busy) you then remove the obstacles.

Show me a woman who doesn't want to feel special, doesn't want to feel romance, doesn't want to feel lust, joy, love... and I'll think you married a man :run:

Sure, the playing field changes,.. On her most primitive levels, a woman does not (once "provider role has been met, in the case of having childeren)

Change the field.....
Change the field.....
Change the field..... and what your left with is something totally different. (and much more familure)

You only need to change it for an hour or so (yeah, yeah,.. so, is an hour too much, or not enough

 

[B5150]

Show me a woman who doesn't want to feel special, doesn't want to feel romance, doesn't want to feel lust, joy, love... and I'll think you married a man :run:

It's relative to the individual woman in question. Feeling special to one woman may be completely missing the target for another. It applies to romance, lust, and love as well. Being a married man my study subject is n=1. Being a single man you can cast out your 'net' and have success with whatever skill base you use because the statistics of probability are in your favor. So to suggest that your methods are successful is not false, but I could use whatever method I chose to employ and if I try it out long enough and across enough sample subjects I too might think that I am on to something. Even a broken clock is right twice a day

Again, I am not saying that your methods aren't successful, but the subject in question is one specific wife and not the general population. Believe me there are things that I could 'receive' or 'responses' I could solicit if I just change the subject of the study and would with most certainly be successful as well. But in my case (and these other married men) fidelity is paramount and my study need remain n=1

 

[xtraflossy]

It's relative to the individual woman in question. Feeling special to one woman may be completely missing the target for another. It applies to romance, lust, and love as well. Being a married man my study subject is n=1. Being a single man you can cast out your 'net' and have success with whatever skill base you use because the statistics of probability are in your favor. So to suggest that your methods are successful is not false, but I could use whatever method I chose to employ and if I try it out long enough and across enough sample subjects I too might think that I am on to something. Even a broken clock is right twice a day

Again, I am not saying that your methods aren't successful, but the subject in question is one specific wife and not the general population. Believe me there are things that I could 'receive' or 'responses' I could solicit if I just change the subject of the study and would with most certainly be successful as well. But in my case (and these other married men) fidelity is paramount and my study need remain n=1

lol- I think she's be very upset to hear you refer to your better half as n=1 :toofunny:

Now, I do understand what your saying. that if you game like 20 females, chances are some will be responsive.

But this would be someone you already know... you already have the advantage. And you and I agree that the FEELINGS part is fairly accurate... and thats the only thing that is important.
Wether it be your gf, some random milf, or your wife (lol- or at one time all three ...
What Im saying, is you find a way to elicit thiose feelings that provide a favorable response..
Just as I can almost "tell the type" in many females, I adjust some things accordingly. (and this can be by age, children, past expirences.. what have you), the same way you "calibrate" for the individual in question (n=1) :chick:

Removing any "obstacles" sure as sh!t leaves less in in the way of romance.
And if you can tap into some of the things women, as a species, respond to (such a the difference in communication,.. using vivid descriptions in story telling, understand that wemon rely more on emotional guidence then men do,... your opptions for acheiving your goal (and making n=1 happy increase.

If I cast a net into the ocean, I would surely catch a few fish.. If I had an electronic fish finder, knew the ocean currents, ocean temperature, then when I throw my net I'm likely to catch more fish

In that case of being married,.. you alread yknow your wife- and if you dont suceed one day, you can alter things some and try it the next... all things considered, .. its the closet one will ever come to haveing a "Ground Hog Day" on developing the perfect pickup (or in this case, finding out what her buttojns are, and how to push em)


So, Im offering what I know, ...you have basicly told me that I know nothing, yet you havent offered anything in place of.
And let me remind people, that essentually, were talking sex here. I'm not getting into anythign aside from panties.
Your basicly talking seduction...


So as opposed to discussing advantages or dissadvantages to a particular stratagey, I resoprt to "defending" my own attempts to help, while you laugh becasue..... ?

The point is, the OP wanted to be "on time" more then twice a day (and of course, we all assume he can handle that :whip: ).

 

[B5150]

So, Im offering what I know, ...you have basicly told me that I know nothing, yet you havent offered anything in place of.Not entirely. You know what you know and you know it It works for you and thats all that matters.

So as opposed to discussing advantages or dissadvantages to a particular stratagey, I resoprt to "defending" my own attempts to help, while you laugh becasue..... ?

You know what you know and you know it It works for you and thats all that matters. I laughed at the first one in playful intent to differentiate the married and single playing field. I take none of this that seriously and quite candidly; I'm with riskarb.

 

[xtraflossy]

:lol: I have too much free time at work

(but it IS one of my favorite subjects

 

[sumguy]

Okay, you guys sealed it, I'm never getting married. What's the point then?

 

[1meand]

Pick up this book, "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. Chances are that even though you are doing "all those things", you still aren't speaking "your" wife's love language. And thus, she ain't speakin' yours!

We have both read the book and been to one of his conferences. Trust me I have been trying everything, but I don't think she even wants to be receptive to me. We have two kids that she mainly focuses on and I'll just have to shut the sexual desire part of me off until the kids are out of the house(in 15 years). I've always heard and read that sex was God's gift to us, but if it's going to be like this, then I wish I had a gift receipt.

 

[xtraflossy]

lol- so you can take it back to the store and exchange it for something else ..

I'll make sure to get one of those when I do decide to step in line to loose half my sh!t - j/k

 

[SatireWolf]

FYI, at least in the great state of texas, just make sure you pay for your house out of your bank account, never join that specific one, and just keep your loan current. Then it doesn't matter WHAT she does, because if it was a prior asset to the marriage (aka anti-sex relationship), you can always trade in on a newer, younger, more sex crazed model, and the old defunkt unit can't take anything expensive cept maybe your latest flat screen. Of course that works until the marriage juice sucks it all out of the new spousal unit! Then it's back to square one...

:whiner:

(p.s. there's some satire/humor in there, so don't take it all literally)

 

[Outside Backer]

b5150 greatest post ever

but for 3 yrs ive been doing that lol

minus the espn and ps2 part

 

[neoborn]

We have both read the book and been to one of his conferences. Trust me I have been trying everything, but I don't think she even wants to be receptive to me. We have two kids that she mainly focuses on and I'll just have to shut the sexual desire part of me off until the kids are out of the house(in 15 years). I've always heard and read that sex was God's gift to us, but if it's going to be like this, then I wish I had a gift receipt.

I think she's telling you something very very clearly!

Does she love you? Doesn't sound like it to me. If she loved you she wouldn't she want to fix it as much as you do? If you want to get all biblical on it, she has duties and this is one of them.

Several things ( possibilities )

1. Both get full blood / thyroid / hormone tests

2. See a marriage / sex counsellor

3. See a Dr. for her lack of libido

4. Hire a baby sitter

5. Do what you did when she "fell in love with you"

6. Man it up baby ( i.e. be that young stud again, show her women want you )

7. There are so many fcked up reasons a woman can lose interest it's not funny. They are fckin all round complicated. Here's a link to read some stuff:

http://health.ivillage.com/sexualhealth/sxarousal/0,,9bp87snw,00.html?ice=iv|wb|sexhealing

8. She's probably fckin hanging on mentally emotionally of how you "never took out the garbage" back when you were both first married, yes that's how fcked up it can be.

9. She resents you for making her pregnant and taking away her youth / beauty etc

10. She's fckin the office hottie at lunch time cause she's just tired when she gets home / you get home.

Don't wanna rain on your parade but man it up baby and fix that ****, I dunno sorry but it just doesn't sound very positive to me, doesn't mean you can't fix it but SHE has to want to as well.

Just my 40 cents.

 

[EasyEJL]

We have both read the book and been to one of his conferences. Trust me I have been trying everything, but I don't think she even wants to be receptive to me. We have two kids that she mainly focuses on and I'll just have to shut the sexual desire part of me off until the kids are out of the house(in 15 years). I've always heard and read that sex was God's gift to us, but if it's going to be like this, then I wish I had a gift receipt.

I tried over and over today to post something, but I was having a hard time coming up with something that sounded nice. Luckily neoborn broke the ice for me so I feel a little less constrained. I bolded the one piece above, because that is the only piece of what you've said that matters. If she's not even lightly receptive, theres more wrong than having other things that fill her time. Its not like you are asking her to help build a model airplane or refinish your floors, sex is a matter of a few minutes (or a few seconds in neoborns case). If she can't and is unwilling to give you that 5 or 10 or even 30 minutes once or twice a ____ (fill in the timespan yourself), theres WAY more than just her focusing on the kids. They have to sleep sometimes

 

[neoborn]

I tried over and over today to post something, but I was having a hard time coming up with something that sounded nice. Luckily neoborn broke the ice for me so I feel a little less constrained. I bolded the one piece above, because that is the only piece of what you've said that matters. If she's not even lightly receptive, theres more wrong than having other things that fill her time. Its not like you are asking her to help build a model airplane or refinish your floors, sex is a matter of a few minutes (or a few seconds in neoborns case). If she can't and is unwilling to give you that 5 or 10 or even 30 minutes once or twice a ____ (fill in the timespan yourself), theres WAY more than just her focusing on the kids. They have to sleep sometimes

They are truly like a deep deep ocean when we just wanna surf the waves!

And .....hey fcker! it's quality of time not quantity..pff so there

P.s have some candy with love Neoborn

 

[evan]

You younger married guys need to learn a few things about what stimulates your wifes desire for you.

Foreplay.

Not the kind you are thinking about.

Foreplay starts in the kitchen. Set the table, clean up, clean the dishes and or put them away.

Foreplay starts in the laundry room. Wash both your clothes and put them away.

Foreplay starts at the grocery store. Do the shopping. Or at least do it together.

Foreplay starts at homework time. Help your kid do their homework.

Foreplay starts at bath time. Give your kid a bath so your wife does not have to do it.

Foreplay starts when ESPN, Comedy Central, PC's and PlayStation are turned off.

Foreplay starts when I come home with her favorite candy and a blank card that says "everything that is good in my life is because of you".

You guys get the picture. They operate on a completely different level. I used to get completely insane when my wife would not "just be horney" or find "my body irresistable".

We bone because that's what we do. I used to think that I wanted a wife with a sexual desire that is compatable with mine. Geeze, I am sure glad she has some self respect in that area. God knows I am a lust machine that finds desire whenever the wind blows.

Anyway...that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

B5150,
if you could find a brilliant chemist to take your idea and synthesize it into 6-9,cleanthedishesterone and
1-3,dothelaundydiol buy a capsule maker, and put them in a real purty bottle, you would become a very wealthy man:lol:

 

[Totality]

I have been married long enough (7 years) to know that B5 is right, do stuff around the house and make her life easier. After that, the rest works itself out. Also keep in mind that after kids things are more difficult

 

[hensleyac]

You younger married guys need to learn a few things about what stimulates your wifes desire for you.

Foreplay.

Not the kind you are thinking about.

Foreplay starts in the kitchen. Set the table, clean up, clean the dishes and or put them away.

Foreplay starts in the laundry room. Wash both your clothes and put them away.

Foreplay starts at the grocery store. Do the shopping. Or at least do it together.

Foreplay starts at homework time. Help your kid do their homework.

Foreplay starts at bath time. Give your kid a bath so your wife does not have to do it.

Foreplay starts when ESPN, Comedy Central, PC's and PlayStation are turned off.

Foreplay starts when I come home with her favorite candy and a blank card that says "everything that is good in my life is because of you".

You guys get the picture. They operate on a completely different level. I used to get completely insane when my wife would not "just be horney" or find "my body irresistable".

We bone because that's what we do. I used to think that I wanted a wife with a sexual desire that is compatable with mine. Geeze, I am sure glad she has some self respect in that area. God knows I am a lust machine that finds desire whenever the wind blows.

Anyway...that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

This is RIGHT ON. Men and Women are completely different beasts. I've been married for 12 years and just this past year I started getting this right. It works every time!

 

[EasyEJL]

Mixing her a couple of key lime martinis generally works really well for me

 

[neoborn]

Mixing her a couple of key lime martinis generally works really well for me

I would ask my honey how my rohy...er method is working but she doesn't seem to remember....oh well :food:

 

[SatireWolf]

I would ask my honey how my rohy...er method is working but she doesn't seem to remember....oh well :food:

You lost me there bub. Care to elaborate?

 

[neoborn]

*Duplicate Post please delete*

 

[neoborn]

You lost me there bub. Care to elaborate?

Good thing I wasn't trying to get you to follow then eh. If you want to understand read the whole thread nublet :FUfinger: :gotsearch

 

[EasyEJL]

You lost me there bub. Care to elaborate?

It always looses the humor when you have to explain

 

[SatireWolf]

Ohhh... R00f13s and w1ff13s, never would have put the 2 in the same context. ZOINK! WHO DA THUNK BRAIN! You can verbally abuse me now!

 

[crader]

Okay, you guys sealed it, I'm never getting married. What's the point then?

That is absolutely crazy. Not all marriages result in no sex. Sure if you don't get along and nobody tries in the relationship. Or one person dominates the other and turns it into a hate fest.

But I'm married and we have sex everyday. And yeah he pisses me off alot but we still have that passion. We try new things to boost drive just for the fun in it.

You get back what you put into a relationship.

 

[EasyEJL]

But I'm married and we have sex everyday. And yeah he pisses me off alot but we still have that passion.

How long have you been married? Somehow I just recalled the marriage jar old wives tale. Thats if you take a jar the day you get married, and every time you have sex the first year of your marriage you put a bean into the jar, and every time after the first year you take a bean out, you never empty the jar

I've been married 12 years, the jar would have been emptied before the end of year 2 in our case.

 

[Dozi]

You younger married guys need to learn a few things about what stimulates your wifes desire for you.

Foreplay.

Not the kind you are thinking about.

Foreplay starts in the kitchen. Set the table, clean up, clean the dishes and or put them away.

Foreplay starts in the laundry room. Wash both your clothes and put them away.

Foreplay starts at the grocery store. Do the shopping. Or at least do it together.

Foreplay starts at homework time. Help your kid do their homework.

Foreplay starts at bath time. Give your kid a bath so your wife does not have to do it.

Foreplay starts when ESPN, Comedy Central, PC's and PlayStation are turned off.

Foreplay starts when I come home with her favorite candy and a blank card that says "everything that is good in my life is because of you".

You guys get the picture. They operate on a completely different level. I used to get completely insane when my wife would not "just be horney" or find "my body irresistable".

We bone because that's what we do. I used to think that I wanted a wife with a sexual desire that is compatable with mine. Geeze, I am sure glad she has some self respect in that area. God knows I am a lust machine that finds desire whenever the wind blows.

Anyway...that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

You know, i am not married and or considering it anytime soon but, i found this to be an INSANELY useful piece of mind. My girl and i have been together for a year and like 2 months now, the sex has slowed down GREATLY from when we first were together(i think thats the story of every single relationship to ever exist)...and it still drives me crazy that she won't just bang me all the time like we used to, as my mindset is thats basically what you are here for.

Well thats obviously wrong and i think after reading this i will try some things differently and see where it gets me, even if the kids/laundry stuff does not apply, i still get the picture.....bravo sir.

 

[crader]

How long have you been married? Somehow I just recalled the marriage jar old wives tale. Thats if you take a jar the day you get married, and every time you have sex the first year of your marriage you put a bean into the jar, and every time after the first year you take a bean out, you never empty the jar

I've been married 12 years, the jar would have been emptied before the end of year 2 in our case.

Well...we met at the Arnold and married the next month so...3 months. But even still we work on our relationship everyday.

 

[neoborn]

Well...we met at the Arnold and married the next month so...3 months. But even still we work on our relationship everyday.

Get back to us at year 7 ...k thx.. I wish you both love happiness, and much much much sex.

 

[EasyEJL]

Get back to us at year 7 ...

Its kind of funny retrospectively, mine didn't slow down (even during the pregancies with our 2 kids) until maybe year 11, and that was the year she got pregnant and had a miscarriage, which just left us an emotional mess. I guess I just got lucky

 

[xtraflossy]

I tried over and over today to post something, but I was having a hard time coming up with something that sounded nice. Luckily neoborn broke the ice for me so I feel a little less constrained. I bolded the one piece above, because that is the only piece of what you've said that matters. If she's not even lightly receptive, theres more wrong than having other things that fill her time. Its not like you are asking her to help build a model airplane or refinish your floors, sex is a matter of a few minutes (or a few seconds in neoborns case). If she can't and is unwilling to give you that 5 or 10 or even 30 minutes once or twice a ____ (fill in the timespan yourself), theres WAY more than just her focusing on the kids. They have to sleep sometimes

So true..
Of course, it is apparent that you should have and make the time to change some things with yourself to make you more attractive... wether that be for your wife, or for potential other women, or for yourself...
Never stop improving ... women can sense this drive alone and are attracted to it.

I also don't think it can be ALL "bad" .... I'd really like a few more people to chime in and tell me that things are still great after so many years....

 

[EasyEJL]

I also don't think it can be ALL "bad" .... I'd really like a few more people to chime in and tell me that things are still great after so many years....

at almost 13 years, I have sex with my wife as often as i want to. At one point a few years back there was a lull, and she wasn't quite so interested. I made it really clear "I go grocery shopping, i cook all our meals including parties for your friends, I play bartender at our parties, I drive to see your relatives, and do plenty of other things that you want to do. You can put up with 5 minutes (ok i'm lying, 15-20 seconds) worth of me grunting 4-5x a week whether you happen to want to do it or not, cause trust me, theres a lot of stuff i'd rather not do that takes up way more of my time than that". We've never had a problem after that

Actually she "starts the process" plenty of the time nowadays, that down period was just during a bunch of particularly hard financial stuff right after moving into our first house around 7 years ago. Thats generally what hits you in the crotch first, having a hit in the wallet.

 

[texxlnghorn]

This is why I think you should date someone for a lengthy period of time, to get to know them and find out if you 2 are sexually compatable.

 

[CRUNCH]

This is why I think you should date someone for a lengthy period of time, to get to know them and find out if you 2 are sexually compatable.

That can sometimes be the problem, they give you everything you want until the ring goes on or the kids get born. Then things change.

 

[hensleyac]

It's Not All Bad...Check It Out!

I'm sure this post (though interesting, funny, etc) is scaring the heck most unmarried guys.

I'm married over 12 years, we have 4 boys (10 and under) and we are loving life together. We are both take care of ourselves because we want to look good and feel good in the arms of each other.

Put your girl first in all you do and she will be swept away and dedicated to you.

No joke... we have sex every day to EOD. In fact I just finished our Lover Lounge. We have a covered porch and she begged me to tile the floor, screen it in, install hot tub, wicker furniture, etc. 1st night the hot tub went live...bamb! hot sex in the backyard!!! Women love a man that provides physically and emotionally.

Marry the right one and you'll only marry once!

 

[neoborn]

I would love to hear more from 1Meand

 

[1meand]

What do you want to hear? I could go on for hours.

 

[EasyEJL]

What do you want to hear? I could go on for hours.

i'd like to hear what you plan to do next. Waiting 18 years till your kids move out before you have sex again doesn't sound like a viable plan. Do you or your wife have parents nearby enough that you could maybe do a 3 day weekend to vegas or a cruise and leave the kids with grandma/grandpa?

 

[Totality]

All married guys seem to go through this, I am no different. We are at 7 years married now, and it really does ebb and flow. Dont necessarily blame it on her focus on the kids, there are usually other things involved. We have a 4 year old, and I can tell you, that it does make it a bit rough, but as was said previously, the have to sleep.

It is usually based on financial issues where I have noticied the biggest drop, however, if you have to scrounge together a few hundred bucks for a night out and a babysitter it will be worth it

 

[1meand]

Oh don't get me wrong, we have sex about once every 4-5 weeks, which is better than nothing, but frustrating. We have sex as long as I initiate it. I can only remember 1 or 2 times since we have been married(11 years) that she actually initiated sex. It would be nice for her to initiate it every once in a while, so at least it seems like she cares.
I don't know what to do next.
Every year, once or twice a year we take a long weekend and go somewhere, just the two of us. It's usually great. The last time was in December. We had sex twice in three days and when we got back, after a week went by with nothing, I asked her what happened. Why when we were on vacation it was so good and now, nothing. She said that vacation is different and now we are back in the real world. Sex that often doesn't happen in the real world. WTF?
If i have to work this hard just for sex once a month, then I just don't think that it's worth it.

 

[CRUNCH]

Oh don't get me wrong, we have sex about once every 4-5 weeks, which is better than nothing, but frustrating. We have sex as long as I initiate it. I can only remember 1 or 2 times since we have been married(11 years) that she actually initiated sex. It would be nice for her to initiate it every once in a while, so at least it seems like she cares.
I don't know what to do next.
Every year, once or twice a year we take a long weekend and go somewhere, just the two of us. It's usually great. The last time was in December. We had sex twice in three days and when we got back, after a week went by with nothing, I asked her what happened. Why when we were on vacation it was so good and now, nothing. She said that vacation is different and now we are back in the real world. Sex that often doesn't happen in the real world. WTF?
If i have to work this hard just for sex once a month, then I just don't think that it's worth it.

Yikes man! I can't remember if you'd mentioned it before, but have you two looked into a marriage/sex counselor?? Sometimes they can help, but only if she wants something to change.

Does your wife worry about you straying? As in finding someone to give you what she's not?

 

[1meand]

Yikes man! I can't remember if you'd mentioned it before, but have you two looked into a marriage/sex counselor?? Sometimes they can help, but only if she wants something to change.

Does your wife worry about you straying? As in finding someone to give you what she's not?

Ok, here goes: About two years ago she told me that she had fallen in love with one of her co-workers. She said that she still loved me, but was confused because she loved both of us. This came out of nowhere, at least to me. I couldn't judge by the amount of sex we were having, because it slowed way down a year after we got married.
She swears they never had sex, but she said they did kiss. After asking her several times over a couple of months if she even wanted to try to save our marriage and her answering yes, she started going to counseling. About three weeks later I went with her for a while. I knew it would take time, so I was patient. I've been trying to do everything that she said I wasn't doing and be as loving and caring as possible. The only thing I was asking from her was sex more often. A couple of months we actually had sex twice a month, but that didn't last long. That brings us up to now.
Now I know I'm far from perfect, but I have been nothing but faithful and loyal to her since we were married. I've always done the laundry, dishes, vacuuming, all the yard work, and I cook most of the time(hell I sound like the woman), since we've been married. If anyone had a reason to go outside the marriage for anything, it was me. Maybe that is part of the problem, she knows I will never be unfaithful to her. I don't know
Anyway I'm just throwing this out there for possible advice. I'm not looking for any pity or anyone to feel sorry for me, just for suggestions. Thanks.

 

[SatireWolf]

Ok, here goes: About two years ago she told me that she had fallen in love with one of her co-workers. She said that she still loved me, but was confused because she loved both of us. This came out of nowhere, at least to me. I couldn't judge by the amount of sex we were having, because it slowed way down a year after we got married.
She swears they never had sex, but she said they did kiss. After asking her several times over a couple of months if she even wanted to try to save our marriage and her answering yes, she started going to counseling. About three weeks later I went with her for a while. I knew it would take time, so I was patient. I've been trying to do everything that she said I wasn't doing and be as loving and caring as possible. The only thing I was asking from her was sex more often. A couple of months we actually had sex twice a month, but that didn't last long. That brings us up to now.
Now I know I'm far from perfect, but I have been nothing but faithful and loyal to her since we were married. I've always done the laundry, dishes, vacuuming, all the yard work, and I cook most of the time(hell I sound like the woman), since we've been married. If anyone had a reason to go outside the marriage for anything, it was me. Maybe that is part of the problem, she knows I will never be unfaithful to her. I don't know
Anyway I'm just throwing this out there for possible advice. I'm not looking for any pity or anyone to feel sorry for me, just for suggestions. Thanks.

Not to sound negative or anything (I've never been married thank the good lord), but once a girl is 'unhappy in love' like that I don't think it can be 'fixed' by anything you do. She has to choose to want to fix it.

I dated / almost married a girl for over 3 years. During this time we made like rabits, and had the greatest love life you could possibly imagine. Kitchen, bathroom, living room, everywhere... All the time.

Anyways, she went off to Europe for a summer back packing and came back with a tail of sexcapades after quite a bit of coaxing. She felt really guilty, cried her little head off, and I forgave her. She graduated a semester before me, and so she setup in a townhouse for gradschool and hooked me up with the townhouse right next to hers. Turns out, she never really had 'loved' me anymore after that summer, and it was just a relationship of convenience and co-dependence rather than love. I did like you, and took care of everything I could, and gave her massages, did all the really good BF stuff. Gifts, cards, flowers etc... She was a nerd girl so I even built her computers.

Long story short, a semester into grad school, an Aussy fllies in she had met online, they make like rabits, and she invites me over the next day to 'fix' her computer. Up stairs looked like a war had happened with bedding everywhere, lamp knocked over, and used wrappers as far as the eye could see.

Anyways, writing on the wall was she didn't really 'love' me, she just 'needed' me. She still admits that I'm the best damn thing she ever had in bed, but she can dominate this other poor fool who's a chef, and doesn't have a degree to speak of.

I lived next door to this non-sense for over a year, listening to the rabits go at it.

Maybe I'm bitter, but it's sort of what they say about guys too, once they wander, they never come home.

There's obviously a reason she's not that interested, and it's probably because she really isn't. An honest sit down talk about your relationship, not involving sex is in order. Figure out what's really 'up' because she probably hasn't even thought about it as much as listened to her sub-conscious turn her sex drive into a puddle of mud.

If she was really happy, it would still be like you were dating. She'd still be jumping your bones every chance she got.

My opinion, nip it in the bud now before it brews into a full blown episodic trip in bizarro world.

 

[CRUNCH]

1meand...I have no advice for you bro. You're in one tough situation. You're a better man than me for sticking with things the way you have.

This is not advice for you: I would move on and never look back. If it was me, that's what I would do. But, obviously, you're not me and I'd never tell somebody else to do something like that.

Sorry man. I hope things get better for ya, whichever way they go.

 

[EasyEJL]

Yeah, I don't have much advice there either. Its definitely a hard situation to be in 1meand. It does sounds like you still trust her, which probably is the hardest part. I know that would be the worst for me, trying to trust her afterwards. forgetting about the "crap you have to do to keep a house running" do you have other things in common that you do together? or ones that you could do together? Or is pretty much all of both of your lives tied up in 40+ hrs a week of work and then dealing with household duties.

 

[lovemuscle]

Yes here you go, this works for me EVERY time guaranteed!

1. Apply small amount of C H L O R A F O R M to a nice soft hanky / your wife's pillow.

2. Wait until full unconscious.

3. Ohhhhh yeahhhhh it's time to party baby.

4. Make sure clean up / put in same position and claim "you said something about feeling tired and then "dozed off" "

Njoi

<3 Neoborn <3

hahaha funny yet horrible at the same time!

 

[neoborn]

1Meand your situation makes me truly sad. I would look at this with open eyes though and if in your heart you feel she truly loves you then stay with her and she will be more than willing to fix it up. There is much counselling needed here if this is the case....

and if not....it's time to get your personal house in order, because it's not good for you, your wife, your kids or anyone else. This sounds pretty toxic to all involved. Do what's right and talk to a counsellor either way.

Don't delay finding the love you deserve in life, if the one you truly love has moved on....<tears n sadness>

I hope you receive all you truly deserve in life...

<3 Neoborn <3

 

[slow-mun]

You guys never heard of that exotice substance that improves libido in over 90% of the female population. Its so common that most most men overlook it, although women can rarely walk by it without giving it a glance.

Jewelry, dropping panties since the stone age.