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The dissapearing man

You know, this conversation started Around the topic of junk volume. But as we already know, lots of volume works. That's why kipping pull ups work for your back, That's why hitting the heavy bag works for my shoulders. I'm throwing thirty or forty hard power shots every two minutes or so for 5 or 6 rounds at a time. That's a lot of sets and reps
 
I would agree with all of that. I actually Don't think i'm doing any junk volume because progress on my back has been pretty crazy. It seems like the more I do the more it grows so i cant be doing junk volume if im still Progressing by adding more volume. I'd imagine i'm getting close to my ceiling though. Or it could also be one of those things where you temporarily overtrain and get a big growth spurt, I can't count that out.
 
Well, i think im about 75% back to normal.
Minimal damage from what i can tell, I'm a little bit smaller yet a little bit bloated. But I have a feeling within a week or 2 It will be back to normal

Weight is back down to 202.

Appetite is middle of the road I would say, I'm hungry enough to eat, but I don't particularly care if I eat.

Because im a bit dehydrated And was having muscle cramps or spasms yesterday. I don't think I should be going to the gym for another day or two. But I may go to the boxing gym tonight. Just to move around a little bit and just get some exercise in.

Friday will be a week with no pins so i think im just gonna wait till the weekend and do something similar to what @Hyde was saying.

Sunday pin 250 test and thats it for the week, the following week il pin 250 test and 100 deca.
At this point if im back to 100% in the gym im gonna throw that epistane in the mix for a few weeks and after that just increa the injectables as needed.

I also may just skip epistane and stay at 250/100 for 6-8 weeks and then start increasing again.

Theres a lot of life variables that will be involved in the Decision. I really gotta get through the new year and handle some home life situations Before I can finalize my decision.

Anyways, this wont be my last post but i will soon by closing this log and just starting my new year one at the end of the month.

My goals for 2024 are simple. I want to hit a new bench pr and i want to make slow steady Physique improvements and finish the year with a extra 10lbs of tissue. I think Those are fairly conservative goals
 
You've got that in the bag @Smont!
 
10lbs of fat tissue will definitely be manageable
Thats baby weight, give me a couple boxes of zebra cakes, 2 bags of double stuff oreos and a chinese buffet stat!

Soooooooo....... i just stepped on the scale again and im 196.0 today, i lost 12-14lbs in 6-7 days. I guess im eating way less then i thought. Dispite that my fasted glucose this morning is 112? Should be like 85-90 tops. Il keep a eye on that, i really hope all my binge eating over the years didnt make me pre diabetic or fuk up my pancreas.

Im trying to get back to normal today but im gonna keep carbs down for a few days too so looks like smont is going ketotarded the next few days. Naw, but im gonna keep like 100-150 carbs on training days and on off days im gonna try to split my calories evenly Between protein and fat so that would be like 350 pro, 125 fat and >25 net carbs. Training days il flip flop some carbs and protein.

Today im just gonna try to eat 2500 cal low carb menu but i gotta get these calories back up. Lots of water and some salt too
 
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Hopefully the weight comes right back, normally it will for you.
 
Hopefully the weight comes right back, normally it will for you.
Super quick. Thats why when i log something i let ppl know what the setbacks were. I make it look like your (not you) 6 weeks away from your goals but in reality im getting back prior progress that took multiple cycles. Muscle memory most of the time.

I still am not back in the gym but my Appetite is picking back up
 
Super quick. Thats why when i log something i let ppl know what the setbacks were. I make it look like your (not you) 6 weeks away from your goals but in reality im getting back prior progress that took multiple cycles. Muscle memory most of the time.

I still am not back in the gym but my Appetite is picking back up
That is great to hear. You have to be able to fuel if you want to get back into the race! I bet the "fatter" look is just water from some left over inflammation in the gut or whatever. Speaking of extra water, I am where you were at a couple weeks ago with the huge weight increase off of a couple days of off plan eating. Just waiting for the water to start dropping back off.
 
That is great to hear. You have to be able to fuel if you want to get back into the race! I bet the "fatter" look is just water from some left over inflammation in the gut or whatever. Speaking of extra water, I am where you were at a couple weeks ago with the huge weight increase off of a couple days of off plan eating. Just waiting for the water to start dropping back off.
Whats your doses at currently, and have the doses gone up or just the calories are going up. Sometimes when you push the food too fast a "simple" fix is to freeze the calories We're there at for a while and bump the doses up. Then in a few days it levels off. Of course theres other ways, but it works for me.

Edit: i forgot you got a coach. Ignore me, do what the coach says. I know what im doing but i very likely know far less then your coach
 
Does anyone use 5htp or gaba or anything otc for mild depression and anxiety. Im really down lately, i know its just normal life stuff but im stressing hard while going through a chain of events thats just piling up. My truck broke down and my mechanic has been busy so ive been uaing my other truck and then that broke so im stuck sharing a car with my girl and she has to repeatedly complain about it. Then i got sick and missed a few days of work and got behind, lost 15lbs and still out the gym. Dishing out money left and right, need a new fridge or i should say she wants a new one. It works so its not a emergency but sooner then later its probably gonna need to be replaced. But between all that im just really down to the point i just wanna climb in bed and watch tv and never leave the house. Instead i worked 7am to 7pm playing catchup and trying to make these ppl happy so they can move in by christmas. In the meantime i pull in my driveway and theres a massive deep scratch 3/4 the length of the car im using so now i gotta take care of that. Im running out of patience with everytjing.

Aside from all that ive been very calm and collect. Im not showing anyone how upset i am and im making sure not to be snappy or yell at home. Instead i find myself letting it out while im driving from one job to the next.

Im aware i should talk to someone but im burning the candle at both ends already, i just cant let off the gas till after the new year.

I also Regularly get seasonal depression this time of year.

It just sucks because everytjing was going good "for the most part" up until about 3 weeks ago.


Im very out of my element, im usually the one fixing peoples problems, helping ppl get out of the hole. And now i cant seem to do anything other then be stuck in my own head.

Suck it up its what i normally do, but i cant seem to pull it togther right now. And im just lost. I feel like a crazy person who spends all day trying to be normal.

Anyway, i use to drink my problems away, or smoke a ciggerette or go to the poker room forvthe day and i gave everything up. Pot dosent help me with this az im notva daytime pot smoker, i only use it to wind down at night.

Anyone have a suggestion? Im sorry for dumping my problems in here but for once in my life im lost, stumped, idk whats what
 
Does anyone use 5htp or gaba or anything otc for mild depression and anxiety. Im really down lately, i know its just normal life stuff but im stressing hard while going through a chain of events thats just piling up. My truck broke down and my mechanic has been busy so ive been uaing my other truck and then that broke so im stuck sharing a car with my girl and she has to repeatedly complain about it. Then i got sick and missed a few days of work and got behind, lost 15lbs and still out the gym. Dishing out money left and right, need a new fridge or i should say she wants a new one. It works so its not a emergency but sooner then later its probably gonna need to be replaced. But between all that im just really down to the point i just wanna climb in bed and watch tv and never leave the house. Instead i worked 7am to 7pm playing catchup and trying to make these ppl happy so they can move in by christmas. In the meantime i pull in my driveway and theres a massive deep scratch 3/4 the length of the car im using so now i gotta take care of that. Im running out of patience with everytjing.

Aside from all that ive been very calm and collect. Im not showing anyone how upset i am and im making sure not to be snappy or yell at home. Instead i find myself letting it out while im driving from one job to the next.

Im aware i should talk to someone but im burning the candle at both ends already, i just cant let off the gas till after the new year.

I also Regularly get seasonal depression this time of year.

It just sucks because everytjing was going good "for the most part" up until about 3 weeks ago.


Im very out of my element, im usually the one fixing peoples problems, helping ppl get out of the hole. And now i cant seem to do anything other then be stuck in my own head.

Suck it up its what i normally do, but i cant seem to pull it togther right now. And im just lost. I feel like a crazy person who spends all day trying to be normal.

Anyway, i use to drink my problems away, or smoke a ciggerette or go to the poker room forvthe day and i gave everything up. Pot dosent help me with this az im notva daytime pot smoker, i only use it to wind down at night.

Anyone have a suggestion? Im sorry for dumping my problems in here but for once in my life im lost, stumped, idk whats what
Sorry to hear that man. Back in like 2010 ish when I went through a divorce to my first wife I had some real problems dealing with that **** show. I did try the now brand 5htp. Was so long ago I don’t remember if it really helped or not. I was traveling on the road for work and just worked as many hrs as I could to not let my mind wander.

my current wife has some depression issues and stress and anxiety. I had her running a stack from SNS - stress and anxiety support- sabroxy XT- KannaEase XT- and reduce XT. Seemed to really improve her mood and depression a lot. I do take the sabroxy and KannaEase on more stressful days and they definitely seem to help.

that’s all the things I’ve tried that fit in that category.

Hopefully you can find something that works for you man
 
Does anyone use 5htp or gaba or anything otc for mild depression and anxiety. Im really down lately, i know its just normal life stuff but im stressing hard while going through a chain of events thats just piling up. My truck broke down and my mechanic has been busy so ive been uaing my other truck and then that broke so im stuck sharing a car with my girl and she has to repeatedly complain about it. Then i got sick and missed a few days of work and got behind, lost 15lbs and still out the gym. Dishing out money left and right, need a new fridge or i should say she wants a new one. It works so its not a emergency but sooner then later its probably gonna need to be replaced. But between all that im just really down to the point i just wanna climb in bed and watch tv and never leave the house. Instead i worked 7am to 7pm playing catchup and trying to make these ppl happy so they can move in by christmas. In the meantime i pull in my driveway and theres a massive deep scratch 3/4 the length of the car im using so now i gotta take care of that. Im running out of patience with everytjing.

Aside from all that ive been very calm and collect. Im not showing anyone how upset i am and im making sure not to be snappy or yell at home. Instead i find myself letting it out while im driving from one job to the next.

Im aware i should talk to someone but im burning the candle at both ends already, i just cant let off the gas till after the new year.

I also Regularly get seasonal depression this time of year.

It just sucks because everytjing was going good "for the most part" up until about 3 weeks ago.


Im very out of my element, im usually the one fixing peoples problems, helping ppl get out of the hole. And now i cant seem to do anything other then be stuck in my own head.

Suck it up its what i normally do, but i cant seem to pull it togther right now. And im just lost. I feel like a crazy person who spends all day trying to be normal.

Anyway, i use to drink my problems away, or smoke a ciggerette or go to the poker room forvthe day and i gave everything up. Pot dosent help me with this az im notva daytime pot smoker, i only use it to wind down at night.

Anyone have a suggestion? Im sorry for dumping my problems in here but for once in my life im lost, stumped, idk whats what
Sorry to hear that man. Back in like 2010 ish when I went through a divorce to my first wife I had some real problems dealing with that **** show. I did try the now brand 5htp. Was so long ago I don’t remember if it really helped or not. I was traveling on the road for work and just worked as many hrs as I could to not let my mind wander.

my current wife has some depression issues and stress and anxiety. I had her running a stack from SNS - stress and anxiety support- sabroxy XT- KannaEase XT- and reduce XT. Seemed to really improve her mood and depression a lot. I do take the sabroxy and KannaEase on more stressful days and they definitely seem to help.

that’s all the things I’ve tried that fit in that category.

Hopefully you can find something that works for you man
Man, sorry you’re going through all that…I was actually going to suggest SNS Sabroxy XT and KannaEase, they both are really good for focus and mood. I didn’t think of Reduce XT, but that makes sense because it reduces cortisol. I have a buddy that is bipolar and he says 5htp helps him, but I’m not sure if it would work for everyone. Hopefully everything will improve for you. You do a lot of good and try to help others, so I’m sure something good is coming your way.
 
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Does anyone use 5htp or gaba or anything otc for mild depression and anxiety. Im really down lately, i know its just normal life stuff but im stressing hard while going through a chain of events thats just piling up. My truck broke down and my mechanic has been busy so ive been uaing my other truck and then that broke so im stuck sharing a car with my girl and she has to repeatedly complain about it. Then i got sick and missed a few days of work and got behind, lost 15lbs and still out the gym. Dishing out money left and right, need a new fridge or i should say she wants a new one. It works so its not a emergency but sooner then later its probably gonna need to be replaced. But between all that im just really down to the point i just wanna climb in bed and watch tv and never leave the house. Instead i worked 7am to 7pm playing catchup and trying to make these ppl happy so they can move in by christmas. In the meantime i pull in my driveway and theres a massive deep scratch 3/4 the length of the car im using so now i gotta take care of that. Im running out of patience with everytjing.

Aside from all that ive been very calm and collect. Im not showing anyone how upset i am and im making sure not to be snappy or yell at home. Instead i find myself letting it out while im driving from one job to the next.

Im aware i should talk to someone but im burning the candle at both ends already, i just cant let off the gas till after the new year.

I also Regularly get seasonal depression this time of year.

It just sucks because everytjing was going good "for the most part" up until about 3 weeks ago.


Im very out of my element, im usually the one fixing peoples problems, helping ppl get out of the hole. And now i cant seem to do anything other then be stuck in my own head.

Suck it up its what i normally do, but i cant seem to pull it togther right now. And im just lost. I feel like a crazy person who spends all day trying to be normal.

Anyway, i use to drink my problems away, or smoke a ciggerette or go to the poker room forvthe day and i gave everything up. Pot dosent help me with this az im notva daytime pot smoker, i only use it to wind down at night.

Anyone have a suggestion? Im sorry for dumping my problems in here but for once in my life im lost, stumped, idk whats what

Whatever strain of Ashwagandha that’s in SNS Stress & Anxiety is the one you want for some calming/balancing. Different extracts have been shown to be better for different things, so that’s the one you’d want to try there. I have used it in the past and remember it helping not feel so overwhelmed when I was in a PCT under a lot of stress.

If you are on Deca, you need to be hitting 2-300mg of P5P twice a day (so 4-600/day). Maybe some L-Dopa. Nandrolone lowers dopamine so you need to balance that out to keep things from getting too glum.
 
Whatever strain of Ashwagandha that’s in SNS Stress & Anxiety is the one you want for some calming/balancing. Different extracts have been shown to be better for different things, so that’s the one you’d want to try there. I have used it in the past and remember it helping not feel so overwhelmed when I was in a PCT under a lot of stress.

If you are on Deca, you need to be hitting 2-300mg of P5P twice a day (so 4-600/day). Maybe some L-Dopa. Nandrolone lowers dopamine so you need to balance that out to keep things from getting too glum.
I may have to get some of that Stress & Anxiety myself. I’ve never tried that one, and DPS has it on sale for $15 last time I looked.
 
Sorry to hear all of the troubles @Smont, unfortunately sometimes when it rains it pours. Since someone else mentioned ashwaghanda, I always liked KSM-66 branded. I don't think it's going to help in the way you're looking for though, given the other non-medicinal ways you used to cope. When I was going through a rough patch with anxiety/stress, I tried meditation. Can't say it stuck, or that I ever got "good enough" at it to probably reap all of the benefits, but calm, focused breathing before bed time might help you out.
 
Does anyone use 5htp or gaba or anything otc for mild depression and anxiety. Im really down lately, i know its just normal life stuff but im stressing hard while going through a chain of events thats just piling up. My truck broke down and my mechanic has been busy so ive been uaing my other truck and then that broke so im stuck sharing a car with my girl and she has to repeatedly complain about it. Then i got sick and missed a few days of work and got behind, lost 15lbs and still out the gym. Dishing out money left and right, need a new fridge or i should say she wants a new one. It works so its not a emergency but sooner then later its probably gonna need to be replaced. But between all that im just really down to the point i just wanna climb in bed and watch tv and never leave the house. Instead i worked 7am to 7pm playing catchup and trying to make these ppl happy so they can move in by christmas. In the meantime i pull in my driveway and theres a massive deep scratch 3/4 the length of the car im using so now i gotta take care of that. Im running out of patience with everytjing.

Aside from all that ive been very calm and collect. Im not showing anyone how upset i am and im making sure not to be snappy or yell at home. Instead i find myself letting it out while im driving from one job to the next.

Im aware i should talk to someone but im burning the candle at both ends already, i just cant let off the gas till after the new year.

I also Regularly get seasonal depression this time of year.

It just sucks because everytjing was going good "for the most part" up until about 3 weeks ago.


Im very out of my element, im usually the one fixing peoples problems, helping ppl get out of the hole. And now i cant seem to do anything other then be stuck in my own head.

Suck it up its what i normally do, but i cant seem to pull it togther right now. And im just lost. I feel like a crazy person who spends all day trying to be normal.

Anyway, i use to drink my problems away, or smoke a ciggerette or go to the poker room forvthe day and i gave everything up. Pot dosent help me with this az im notva daytime pot smoker, i only use it to wind down at night.

Anyone have a suggestion? Im sorry for dumping my problems in here but for once in my life im lost, stumped, idk whats what

Sorry to hear. I’ve had a similar year man, I was not properly balancing my life at all.
trying to make everyone happy, keep the show going, and honestly the biggest culprit was my lack of communication with my wife and family. Plus all the bad luck obstacles that always pop up in the mix to spice it up.
The last few weeks I have finally broken free.
Kanna can definitely help but in the end what truly helped me was taking a step back and seeing how I was affecting everyone in my life and acknowledging my shitty communication skills (I’m not saying these are your problems I’m just relaying).
Basically we are a constant work in progress is what I’m getting at.
I hope it passes quick and some good luck heads your way man
 
Thanks guys im gonna look into some of those things. The ashwaganda Ksm-66 i used before as a single ingredient and i didnt notice anything like that as a benifit, but then again its not why i had used it at the time so i may have just not noticed its effects. Il have to go over to the sns threads and take a look at those products. I was really hoping to find sonething i can just pop a pill in the morning but i wanted to look to natural means so im probably gonna need a few different things like you guys mentioned.

Honestly i feel like once my main truck is back on the road, im back in the gym and caught up on life that things will be better. I always feel down around the new year but theres Usually no reason for it so it's just kind of like seasonal depression. This time around it seems like there's lots of reasons.

Im gonna make a solid effort to hit some kind of full body or upper/lower 3 days a week so im doing something. I woke up last night at 3am and couldnt go back to sleep so i went and opened up the gym to hit the bag and i couldnt get through 3 rounds, i completely gassed out and thats not like me, espically at the pace i was going. So i kinda just sat there for another 30min gathering my thoughrs and planning my day and locked it back up.

I gotta work in
Whatever strain of Ashwagandha that’s in SNS Stress & Anxiety is the one you want for some calming/balancing. Different extracts have been shown to be better for different things, so that’s the one you’d want to try there. I have used it in the past and remember it helping not feel so overwhelmed when I was in a PCT under a lot of stress.

If you are on Deca, you need to be hitting 2-300mg of P5P twice a day (so 4-600/day). Maybe some L-Dopa. Nandrolone lowers dopamine so you need to balance that out to keep things from getting too glum.
Im not on deca, i wont be taking it untill my head is clear snd i dont have so much stress. I stopped pinning/taking everything when i got sick Initially twelve days ago or so. This past sunday i took 125mg of sust and im gonna do that again this sunday and go to 125mg every 5 days like i use to and im sticking with that and some healing peptides just because i have a bunch that came monday so my right shoulder and right knee can use a little love now that the swelling is all gone.

Il reconsider my cycle around february. My birthday is march 19th and march 9th is my 5 years no drinking so i wanna do something nice and i wanna not look like a bag of **** so thats probably when il worry about that. I was also just thinking maybe im burned out on the gym. Maybe i should just do some maintnence stuff and focus on life a little more and put some of that extra time into getting a few more ppl for coaching, i hate saying coaching, there usually just ppl looking to get in shape. Its almost new year Resolution time so im sure thats coming anyway
 
Whats your doses at currently, and have the doses gone up or just the calories are going up. Sometimes when you push the food too fast a "simple" fix is to freeze the calories We're there at for a while and bump the doses up. Then in a few days it levels off. Of course theres other ways, but it works for me.

Edit: i forgot you got a coach. Ignore me, do what the coach says. I know what im doing but i very likely know far less then your coach
I dropped 6.2 lbs last night, looking much better today. I imagine another couple pounds may drop a few more lbs by this weekend. Yeah, I think we may stick here for another week or two, but we will see what coach thinks. I would have probably already thought about pulling the plug if I were doing this. It definitely wouldn't have been so fast, but that is why I got a coach.

As for the depression, may I suggest making sure whatever entertainment you have time to consume make sure it is positive and light hearted. Don't look at politics, or videos of people online you know you don't agree with and stuff like that. If you keep getting served up negative sh!t, you are more likely to feel negative. So, look for some funny crap, stuff that can lift your mood.

Other than that I think you are right, once you get your truck working, and are back i the gym you will have some stress relieved, and an outlet to release some stress too. Unfortunately I don't have many recommendations on supplements for this. Other than possibly really pushing Vitamin D if you normally get seasonal depression. Alleviating some of that might help you get through some of these stressful times. As far as the fridge, it might be best to just take that off the plate for a little bit. Just let her know it is going to be a couple months before you all can look into that since the fridge still works and then leave the stress of that on the backburner for a bit as long as it doesn't suddenly fail.
 
I dropped 6.2 lbs last night, looking much better today. I imagine another couple pounds may drop a few more lbs by this weekend. Yeah, I think we may stick here for another week or two, but we will see what coach thinks. I would have probably already thought about pulling the plug if I were doing this. It definitely wouldn't have been so fast, but that is why I got a coach.

As for the depression, may I suggest making sure whatever entertainment you have time to consume make sure it is positive and light hearted. Don't look at politics, or videos of people online you know you don't agree with and stuff like that. If you keep getting served up negative sh!t, you are more likely to feel negative. So, look for some funny crap, stuff that can lift your mood.

Other than that I think you are right, once you get your truck working, and are back i the gym you will have some stress relieved, and an outlet to release some stress too. Unfortunately I don't have many recommendations on supplements for this. Other than possibly really pushing Vitamin D if you normally get seasonal depression. Alleviating some of that might help you get through some of these stressful times. As far as the fridge, it might be best to just take that off the plate for a little bit. Just let her know it is going to be a couple months before you all can look into that since the fridge still works and then leave the stress of that on the backburner for a bit as long as it doesn't suddenly fail.
I dont have time to watch anything lately lol. I get home from work, do a few things around the house and ive been watching Documentaries and stuff about outer space and stuff like that.

But not even fully paying attention. I just kind of have it on for background noise. I check my emails, Play a game on my phone for a few minutes and go to bed. I haven't even had time to listen to my normal podcasts or watch the BB YouTube channels I like to watch.

I already take 50,000 iu vd3 per week. I dont notice Anything from it So I may go back to the D3 injections. As they immediately make me feel great. I think I mentioned this before and everyone was like. Hawaii take the d three injection if wall works fine. But oral doesn't work fine if the injection is significantly better. There is nothing I can notice from taking a d supplemeno matter what the dose I take. What if I take D3 injection I immediately notice a sense of well being.

It's all irrevelant. I was Overly stressed out yesterday. And I feel a little bit better today. Even though I know i'm gonna be stuck in the cycle for a while. Really more than anything. I was just hoping someone had a single ingredient Supplement that they use to improve their well being or feel good. I already Take like 40 pills a day of various vitamins and minerals. I don't really want to take 20 more.
But i'm gonna look into some of the things mentioned above and order a couple 100,000iu of d3 inject
 
Awesome, sounds like you have a bit of a plan now. Sometimes just letting people know what you are going through is a major source of stress relief too. Writing it down and letting some of it out often gives a little clarity to the situation. I would imagine some of it could be from bottling up everything in order to not be reactive from the gear. If you don't let the building steam vent to release some pressure, it just builds until it becomes an overwhelming force. So maybe even just talking to us about it helped.

Feel free to vent, or let things out in here if you don't feel you can do it at home right now. It can only help. Good luck either way, and of course as always PM me if you want to have a side convo.
 
Awesome, sounds like you have a bit of a plan now. Sometimes just letting people know what you are going through is a major source of stress relief too. Writing it down and letting some of it out often gives a little clarity to the situation. I would imagine some of it could be from bottling up everything in order to not be reactive from the gear. If you don't let the building steam vent to release some pressure, it just builds until it becomes an overwhelming force. So maybe even just talking to us about it helped.

Feel free to vent, or let things out in here if you don't feel you can do it at home right now. It can only help. Good luck either way, and of course as always PM me if you want to have a side convo.
I felt really weird and awkward posting that yesterday, But after I got it all out I did notice a sense of relief. I keep everything bottled up and someti. Guess it feels good just to let it out even if it falls upon deaf ears. And i'm not saying that's what happened here the deaf years thing.

But yeah, I do feel a little better today. But I know i'm having some issues.

I try to remind myself that nothing bad ever really happens. And I always manage to find a way to fix things.

I also found out someone is not doing so well health wise, like, life threatening. Obviously that is not something that makes me feel good. But what it did do was make me realize, I have very small problems in comparison to other people And sometimes I just gotta suck it up
 
Yeah, sometimes we have to just suck it up, but we can also lean on our friends for support or venting while sucking it up. You have a ton on your plate right now. So not a surprise it wore on you, especially when you had no emotional outlet because you weren't letting yourself react emotionally due to being on gear.

Also remember just because your problems are not as bad as others you know does not take away the negative feelings you have from your own personal challenges. So although that gave you a view of the bigger picture, it doesn't really take anything away from the fact what you are going through is real and still has an effect on you. Mental and emotional health is extremely important.
 
Do you have any guy(s) you can talk to and vent with?

I hope you feel better though, life can feel absolutely miserable at times and it is no fun to feel that way so I really hope you can find a way to ease that burden and get some balance.
I do but i dont, its hard to explain. I have a lot of friends That I was really close with before I kind of straightened my life up. The problem is a lot of them didn't straighten out there. So any time I try to talk about issues like this, They're mind goes straight to..." well, You're doing so good in life, Not drinking and just kind of pulling everything together over the last 5 years In getting back on track like you used to be".

But that's about it they don't really have any useful information. They usually call me when they have problems, So when it's the other way around? I just don't think they can see clearly enough because of their own problems.

My best friend travels the country for work, works third shift too so I only see him a couple times a year now.

My dads 70 And has been going backward since he retired. Who waits until there's 65 years old to start smoking cigarettes and become an alcoholic 🤔.

So I kind of went from being the screw up to being the voice of reason. And now I don't have anyone to complain to lol🤣🤣🤣.

I know you guys don't know me in my real life. Or how I used to be. But if i'm the most logical person in the room and the voice of reason then I'm in the company of a lot of fucked up people 😂
 
Dude i type everything with 1 thumb on a cellphone. It takes forever And usually has seven billion typos

ha this is why I miss actual buttons on cell phones. could text and drive without even looking at the phone 😅

but most CFers aren’t doing kipping pull ups or chest to bars for specific hypertrophy work.

yeah in my experience most xfitters were underfed and over focused on leanness, usually replacing all strength and hypertrophy work with additional conditioning work. BF% was more important than size usually.

Does anyone use 5htp or gaba or anything otc for mild depression and anxiety.

I did. I felt like I had a chronic issue with depression possibly stemming from some serious head injuries in my youth until my 30s. I don't recall the 5htp having a strong effect.

Whatever strain of Ashwagandha that’s in SNS Stress & Anxiety is the one you want for some calming/balancing.
The ashwaganda Ksm-66 i used before as a single ingredient and i didnt notice anything like that as a benifit,

I know Steve has said many times that the source quality of the KSM matters bigly. I have had ashwaganda that did nothing and I have had something that cranked libido like a 16yr old boy so... But along those lines of SNS products, the XPG Alpha Gel and XPG DHEA are both good. it seems like positive mood is one of the big pitches of the DHEA. I can tell you that this time of year I am MISERABLE, counting down the days until Dec 22 when the darkness starts going away. This morning I texted my wife, how has cancer, that this winter is flying by. despite her mastectomy on dec 5th, and all the **** thats come with that, my mood has been better this december than any december I can recall. maybe the DHEA and Alpha Gel are contributing to that? I feel like these products have done more for me than 5htp ever did.

But yeah, I do feel a little better today. But I know i'm having some issues.
Who waits until there's 65 years old to start smoking cigarettes and become an alcoholic 🤔.

kinda sounds like boredom... I know when I fast I realize how much of a dopamine kick food provides me with. I find boredom to be the hardest part of fasting! retirement is really hard on some people. My dad should be retired right now but he's working and I think it's probably better for him cause he wouldn't know what to do at home lol
 
I've been breezing through the messages and just responding randomly while I'm at work today. But in case I didn't address anybody individually. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone. I did see everything everyone said. And I very much appreciate it. And I will look into some of the things suggested.

And as busy as I am right now, maybe I just need to take on another project That's more enjoyable to eat up some of the time I spend lost inside my own thoughts.

@MrKleen73 suggestion from about a week ago i started working on a cookbook so i should Redirect my focus to mainly the cookbook In my spare time
 
On A brighter note check out these cabinets i'm refinishing. Started as dark oak, I completely filled the grain of the wood and primed them and now finishing the doors Before I go back to the house and finish the actual cabinetsInvalid Link RemovedInvalid Link RemovedInvalid Link RemovedInvalid Link Removed.

Final product will look like these doors im doing nowInvalid Link RemovedInvalid Link Removed
 
When you get it right it looks just like a factory finish.

The weird looking spots are just the reflection of the light. Nice and shiny and smooth as a baby's ass
 
Probably Next month im doing this Baby grand piano, It doesn't work anymore. So the guy gutted it and I'm gonna refinish it If they ever come up with an idea of how they want it done lol. I don't know if I ever mentioned this But I grew up playing the piano so i'm going to enjoy this one. I wasn't particularly good at the piano Because I was really good at playing by ear and had a hard time learning sheet music but Either way it's gonna be a fun project.

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damn! I miss that kinda work. reminds me of building hotrods, my buddies always made me do the bodywork cause they hated it and I loved it
 
damn! I miss that kinda work. reminds me of building hotrods, my buddies always made me do the bodywork cause they hated it and I loved it
I love being in the shop by myself. I wish I knew a little bit more about cars. I can fix a lot of stuff under the hood On cars made before 2002-2007, The older the easier because once they started putting all the computer stuff and covers on everything I just became clueless lol.

Hence why my truck is broke down and I can't fix it myself
 
body work I think is actually easier than the wood work you're doing. with cars/metal work you can always weld in more metal if you screw it up lol

same though, I loved turning on the radio and just chilling in the garage on a project for hours.
 
Probably Next month im doing this Baby grand piano, It doesn't work anymore. So the guy gutted it and I'm gonna refinish it If they ever come up with an idea of how they want it done lol. I don't know if I ever mentioned this But I grew up playing the piano so i'm going to enjoy this one. I wasn't particularly good at the piano Because I was really good at playing by ear and had a hard time learning sheet music but Either way it's gonna be a fun project.

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A lot of people don’t know this, but you can stash your anabolics in there!
 
A lot of people don’t know this, but you can stash your anabolics in there!
Lol. I'll tell you what a lot of people don't know, If you look in the free section of the newspaper, there's always people giving pianos away for free As long as you're capable of removing it from their house.

About ten years ago, me and a buddy pulled a baby grand piano out of this house from the 1920's and it was worth like forty grand
 
ha this is why I miss actual buttons on cell phones. could text and drive without even looking at the phone 😅



yeah in my experience most xfitters were underfed and over focused on leanness, usually replacing all strength and hypertrophy work with additional conditioning work. BF% was more important than size usually.



I did. I felt like I had a chronic issue with depression possibly stemming from some serious head injuries in my youth until my 30s. I don't recall the 5htp having a strong effect.




I know Steve has said many times that the source quality of the KSM matters bigly. I have had ashwaganda that did nothing and I have had something that cranked libido like a 16yr old boy so... But along those lines of SNS products, the XPG Alpha Gel and XPG DHEA are both good. it seems like positive mood is one of the big pitches of the DHEA. I can tell you that this time of year I am MISERABLE, counting down the days until Dec 22 when the darkness starts going away. This morning I texted my wife, how has cancer, that this winter is flying by. despite her mastectomy on dec 5th, and all the **** thats come with that, my mood has been better this december than any december I can recall. maybe the DHEA and Alpha Gel are contributing to that? I feel like these products have done more for me than 5htp ever did.




kinda sounds like boredom... I know when I fast I realize how much of a dopamine kick food provides me with. I find boredom to be the hardest part of fasting! retirement is really hard on some people. My dad should be retired right now but he's working and I think it's probably better for him cause he wouldn't know what to do at home lol
It might be the supplements, it could also have to do with being concerned with things outside of yourself. Your wife being the major priority, and focusing on keeping things positive for her. Then of course the massive sense of relief once she came out of the surgery okay. A lot of things going on there, but I have no doubt the supps probably helped with that too. Steve only makes good products.
I've been breezing through the messages and just responding randomly while I'm at work today. But in case I didn't address anybody individually. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone. I did see everything everyone said. And I very much appreciate it. And I will look into some of the things suggested.

And as busy as I am right now, maybe I just need to take on another project That's more enjoyable to eat up some of the time I spend lost inside my own thoughts.

@MrKleen73 suggestion from about a week ago i started working on a cookbook so i should Redirect my focus to mainly the cookbook In my spare time
I think this is a great idea, finding something you enjoy that will take your mind into a new and creative space. You feel best when you are making progress and right now everything else seems to be on a backslide so something new and enjoyable you can make progress on sounds like it might be perfect for you right now. Oh yeah, I want one of the first copies of that bad boy!
On A brighter note check out these cabinets i'm refinishing. Started as dark oak, I completely filled the grain of the wood and primed them and now finishing the doors Before I go back to the house and finish the actual cabinetsInvalid Link RemovedInvalid Link RemovedInvalid Link RemovedInvalid Link Removed.

Final product will look like these doors im doing nowInvalid Link RemovedInvalid Link Removed
Wow, beautiful work. I may have to pick your brain when I get ready to paint my cavinets. That is a beautiful finish on those, and I need to do mine in black to match my kitchen.
A lot of people don’t know this, but you can stash your anabolics in there!
Then you guaranteed to have a grand cycle! Who's got Dad jokes? This Dad!!!
 
It might be the supplements, it could also have to do with being concerned with things outside of yourself. Your wife being the major priority, and focusing on keeping things positive for her. Then of course the massive sense of relief once she came out of the surgery okay. A lot of things going on there, but I have no doubt the supps probably helped with that too. Steve only makes good products.
all valid points! but if you check out my vivid dreaming thread in the general chat forum there appears to be some underlying subconscious thoughts going on in the moment 😅😅😅😅
 
all valid points! but if you check out my vivid dreaming thread in the general chat forum there appears to be some underlying subconscious thoughts going on in the moment 😅😅😅😅
Oh, I must have missed that one. Haven't seen it, will go have a look.
 
It might be the supplements, it could also have to do with being concerned with things outside of yourself. Your wife being the major priority, and focusing on keeping things positive for her. Then of course the massive sense of relief once she came out of the surgery okay. A lot of things going on there, but I have no doubt the supps probably helped with that too. Steve only makes good products.
I think this is a great idea, finding something you enjoy that will take your mind into a new and creative space. You feel best when you are making progress and right now everything else seems to be on a backslide so something new and enjoyable you can make progress on sounds like it might be perfect for you right now. Oh yeah, I want one of the first copies of that bad boy!

Wow, beautiful work. I may have to pick your brain when I get ready to paint my cavinets. That is a beautiful finish on those, and I need to do mine in black to match my kitchen.

Then you guaranteed to have a grand cycle! Who's got Dad jokes? This Dad!!!
Glossy black looks amazing if its done right. I want to do all the doors in my house high gloss jet black. When you do the prep work if you get it perfectly Smooth, that high gloss black Looks like you're staring into a mirror or like a super deep dark reflective body of water.

This is not one of my jobs, this is a online photo but i just wanted to give You an idea of how it looks on cabinets. Invalid Link RemovedAnd I also have a black high gloss sample piece I did give me a second and I'll find it...

So this is the highest sheen that they make. From a distance it just looks like shiny dark black just like those cabinets, But if you get up close to take a picture, it's so reflective You can't even tell what color it is, it just looks like a mirror!Invalid Link Removed
 
Well, I just found out I actually have a cabinet guy. Just gotta fly him in for work lol
Me and the contractor I'm doing the cabinet work for we're talking yesterday about making an instructional video. Theres special Sprayers and equipment you need to do it how we do it. But there's also ways to do it without all the extra equipment. And it's a little bit more manual labor and you can't get as perfect of a finish, but You can get damn close.
 
Glossy black looks amazing if its done right. I want to do all the doors in my house high gloss jet black. When you do the prep work if you get it perfectly Smooth, that high gloss black Looks like you're staring into a mirror or like a super deep dark reflective body of water.

This is not one of my jobs, this is a online photo but i just wanted to give You an idea of how it looks on cabinets. Invalid Link RemovedAnd I also have a black high gloss sample piece I did give me a second and I'll find it...

So this is the highest sheen that they make. From a distance it just looks like shiny dark black just like those cabinets, But if you get up close to take a picture, it's so reflective You can't even tell what color it is, it just looks like a mirror!Invalid Link Removed
Sweet, those look sharp.👍
 
Sweet, those look sharp.👍
I wish I had more samples of my own stuff but it's not something people do very often In black. But black trim, cabinets and doors with white ceilings and light shades of Grays and whites on the wall go awesome together.
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This is not my work, It's just something I reference when i'm trying to show people some different ideas for how to do things, I love when people have jobs that are not the same every day normal White trim white doors bland repetitive ****.

When you'd paint houses all the time. You'd just start getting bored doing the same stuff over and over again
 
Yeah that’s a really good color combination, it looks really good on those cabinets, and that ceiling and window frames look awesome.
 
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Glossy black looks amazing if its done right. I want to do all the doors in my house high gloss jet black. When you do the prep work if you get it perfectly Smooth, that high gloss black Looks like you're staring into a mirror or like a super deep dark reflective body of water.

This is not one of my jobs, this is a online photo but i just wanted to give You an idea of how it looks on cabinets. Invalid Link RemovedAnd I also have a black high gloss sample piece I did give me a second and I'll find it...

So this is the highest sheen that they make. From a distance it just looks like shiny dark black just like those cabinets, But if you get up close to take a picture, it's so reflective You can't even tell what color it is, it just looks like a mirror!Invalid Link Removed
Yep, this is pretty much the sheen I had in mind.
Me and the contractor I'm doing the cabinet work for we're talking yesterday about making an instructional video. Theres special Sprayers and equipment you need to do it how we do it. But there's also ways to do it without all the extra equipment. And it's a little bit more manual labor and you can't get as perfect of a finish, but You can get damn close.
That would be awesome. I bought a paint sprayer a while back, and the special tip for the micronized spray or whatever but just haven't got to it. It is a pretty intimidating job if you don't have real experience with woodwork and painting with a sprayer. Do you just use the filling putty to smooth it over then sand it back down so it is super smooth?
I wish I had more samples of my own stuff but it's not something people do very often In black. But black trim, cabinets and doors with white ceilings and light shades of Grays and whites on the wall go awesome together.
Invalid Link Removed
This is not my work, It's just something I reference when i'm trying to show people some different ideas for how to do things, I love when people have jobs that are not the same every day normal White trim white doors bland repetitive ****.

When you'd paint houses all the time. You'd just start getting bored doing the same stuff over and over again
This is very similar to the colors I used in the house. The walls are a super light gray, baseboards are still white but I have woodwork over my fireplace that we painted with a nice black, and then I have a bay window in the kitchen with the same type of wood that is going to get the same treatment when I do the cabinets. Seeing this, I am thinking of doing the baseboards in black now also.

Our neighbors just painted the exterior of there house and went with white with black trim everywhere and it looks pretty good. Different but good.
Yeah that’s a really good color combination, it looks really good on those cabinets, and that ceiling and window frames look awesome.
Yeah they really pop don't they!
 
Yep, this is pretty much the sheen I had in mind.
That would be awesome. I bought a paint sprayer a while back, and the special tip for the micronized spray or whatever but just haven't got to it. It is a pretty intimidating job if you don't have real experience with woodwork and painting with a sprayer. Do you just use the filling putty to smooth it over then sand it back down so it is super smooth?
This is very similar to the colors I used in the house. The walls are a super light gray, baseboards are still white but I have woodwork over my fireplace that we painted with a nice black, and then I have a bay window in the kitchen with the same type of wood that is going to get the same treatment when I do the cabinets. Seeing this, I am thinking of doing the baseboards in black now also.

Our neighbors just painted the exterior of there house and went with white with black trim everywhere and it looks pretty good. Different but good.
Yeah they really pop don't they!
I did 5 or 6 Exteriors this year with black trim on the outside of the house and it absolutely does. It makes everything pop.

No, we use a special primer i have to order specific on every job depending on what were doing, you spray it on And then you sand it off, as you sand it off its filling the grain. Then you spray prime again and on the seccont prime you sand with a 320+ grit to kind of polish it smooth. The 3rd coat is the finish paint usually but sometimes it takes a extra coat. This is tge spray process. Its a bit different then doing it completely by hand. The primer snd paint we use for these very likely will clog up a residential use type sprayer. For airlesd i use a tritech t3 and or t4, they run $1500-2000, a titan 440 or graco 390 is $1000 and those would probably work fine too. Home depot and lowes type places sell a $500 graco That works great with regular paints, I have when I use for ceilings and spraying exteriors on small houses. I don't know if it would work with this primer though because it's so thick.

I also use a hvlp graco 7.0 that runs about 900. Its great for finish paint but not this primer. Espically when were using a hardener.

But, you can also roll on the primer, let it cure over night, sand out the grain. ( If you remember in the picture of the kitchen cabinet. it looked like they were white with a bunch of brown burn spots all over them. That's where we sanded throw it to smooth out the grain) so you do that and then spray a stain blocking primer like BINS and you can do a scuffex or cabinet coat finish. Those were the products I used before. I had all the sprayers or access to sprayers of this quality.

There's actually special sprayers for this that we like to use but there over five grand I just can't afford them right now.

Compared to normal painting companies we are top of the line high end Cabinet refinishing. But compared to people who specifically do cabinet and furniture refinishing, our set up is very low level compared to those.

I've seen setups where they put the racks on a conveyor belt and drive it through a bunch of lamps that bake the paint right on, so it's dry and ready to sand in 10-15min as opposed to Our drying system that takes about an hour and a half.
 
Thanks for the rundown. That not being sure if the sprayer could handle the paint / primer is part of what had me worried about trying and messing up the sprayer. I am pretty sure I got the Graco Magnum X5.
 
Thanks for the rundown. That not being sure if the sprayer could handle the paint / primer is part of what had me worried about trying and messing up the sprayer. I am pretty sure I got the Graco Magnum X5.
Ive used those before, That will work great for spraying any regular paint or primers on the cabinets, get a fine finish tip and you can make them look awsome with that.
 
The prep work is most of the job. Once there ready to spray its quick.

If you're not used to keeping a steady flow with the paint sprayer It's easier to do two light coats than one heavy coat. That way, you don't have to worry about the paint sagging if it's on too heavy
 
The prep work is most of the job.

that's always where I stopped with hotrods 😅
I loved shaving door handles, tailgates, bumpers etc but once I had a solid coat of primer or something satin on I couldn't bear to pay for a good paint job I knew would get trashed on the road 😅
 
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