Family guy mafia funny confusions thread

Ok guys time for my ambien story!!!!!

So I was out partying smoking weed had some preworkout to keep me up. The party ended WAY earlier then I thought, so I took a double dose of ambien(legally prescribed to me). I laid in bed playing some Katy Perry, yes I listen to Katy Perry when high idk why but Katy Perrys music while high is the sh!t! Well next thing I know I'm 3 hours away from my places at my friend's house. He woke me up and told what a crazy night last night was. He was saying how we stole a street sign (it's a highway 69 sign no joke the road next me is called highway 69). Got caught by cop who apparently thought that it was funny and didn't care. Then egged my old highschool principles house. Fuk my ex girlfriend. Then passed out on his couch while playing video games. I don't remember literally any of it so naturally I thought he was lying until I found the sign in my garage and had my ex text me about how amazing last night was.
 
rtmilburn said:
Ok guys time for my ambien story!!!!!

So I was out partying smoking weed had some preworkout to keep me up. The party ended WAY earlier then I thought, so I took a double dose of ambien(legally prescribed to me). I laid in bed playing some Katy Perry, yes I listen to Katy Perry when high idk why but when I high Katy Perrys music while high is the sh!t! Well next thing I know I'm 3 hours away from my places at my friend's house. He woke me up and told what a crazy night last night was. He was saying how we stole a street sign (it's a highway 69 sign no joke the road next me is called highway 69). Got caught by cop who apparently that I was funny and didn't care. Then egged my old highschool principles house. Fuk my ex girlfriend. Then passed out on his couch while playing video games. I don't remember literally any of it so naturally I thought he was lying until I found the sign in my garage and had my ex text me about how amazing last night was.
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Hahahah awesome
 
I got 2 of almost catching a dessert on fire I'll share them later as I got to space them out since NO ONE ELSE IS SHARING!!!!!
 
rtmilburn said:
Ok guys time for my ambien story!!!!!

So I was out partying smoking weed had some preworkout to keep me up. The party ended WAY earlier then I thought, so I took a double dose of ambien(legally prescribed to me). I laid in bed playing some Katy Perry, yes I listen to Katy Perry when high idk why but Katy Perrys music while high is the sh!t! Well next thing I know I'm 3 hours away from my places at my friend's house. He woke me up and told what a crazy night last night was. He was saying how we stole a street sign (it's a highway 69 sign no joke the road next me is called highway 69). Got caught by cop who apparently thought that it was funny and didn't care. Then egged my old highschool principles house. Fuk my ex girlfriend. Then passed out on his couch while playing video games. I don't remember literally any of it so naturally I thought he was lying until I found the sign in my garage and had my ex text me about how amazing last night was.
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Sounds like some of my old Quaalude stories from the 80's
 
rtmilburn said:
Share them!!!!
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let me think. that was along time ago. funny thing me and my wife had dinner with a old High school buddy and his wife about 2 weeks ago and all his wife could say was dam you all sure smoked a lot of weed.
 
When I was a senior in High school me and a buddy got tickets from my sister for the cotton bowl.
SMU vs. PITT. (SMU Eric Dickerson, Craig James) pre-death penalty. PITT A guy Named Dan Marino.
We decided to drop some acid when we left. Usually about a 4.5hr. drive to Dallas from Tulsa. Took us 10hrs. we decided we were going to see if we could get to Dallas buy back roads. I’m talking ½ of them gravel.
We get to Dallas. Slept for about 4hrs. Get up about noon. Tomorrow is the game. We decide to take some Quaaludes.
The rest of the story we were told by 2 ladies in there mid 30’s that worked at a local TV station.
1st. we woke up and the hotel room was a fu cken mess. I mean one of the mattresses is on the dresser, Ect?
We realized that the game started in 30min. we were buck naked, threw on some clothes and one of the ladies told us they would take us to the game and drop us off in front if we would page her when we needed to be picked up. If we would spend another night with them. Sounded Like a great deal to us.
As were heading to the game they tell us that we were swimming in the fountain out front of the hotel, the cops showed up. the ladies told the cops we were with them, the cops recognized the ladies from TV and released us to them. Some of the other details I cant write hear. The sad thing is we were maybe 18 years old with 2 hot 30 something’s that are news anchors and we didn’t remember a dam thing!

The next night was nice and we remember that one! I think they enjoyed that fact we had no idea who they were and we were 18 and could go all night and would never see us again!
 
Studhorse said:
When I was a senior in High school me and a buddy got tickets from my sister for the cotton bowl.
SMU vs. PITT. (SMU Eric Dickerson, Craig James) pre-death penalty. PITT A guy Named Dan Marino.
We decided to drop some acid when we left. Usually about a 4.5hr. drive to Dallas from Tulsa. Took us 10hrs. we decided we were going to see if we could get to Dallas buy back roads. I’m talking ½ of them gravel.
We get to Dallas. Slept for about 4hrs. Get up about noon. Tomorrow is the game. We decide to take some Quaaludes.
The rest of the story we were told by 2 ladies in there mid 30’s that worked at a local TV station.
1st. we woke up and the hotel room was a fu cken mess. I mean one of the mattresses is on the dresser, Ect?
We realized that the game started in 30min. we were buck naked, threw on some clothes and one of the ladies told us they would take us to the game and drop us off in front if we would page her when we needed to be picked up. If we would spend another night with them. Sounded Like a great deal to us.
As were heading to the game they tell us that we were swimming in the fountain out front of the hotel, the cops showed up. the ladies told the cops we were with them, the cops recognized the ladies from TV and released us to them. Some of the other details I cant write hear. The sad thing is we were maybe 18 years old with 2 hot 30 something’s that are news anchors and we didn’t remember a dam thing!

The next night was nice and we remember that one! I think they enjoyed that fact we had no idea who they were and we were 18 and could go all night and would never see us again!
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Pretty bad a$$ sounds alot like the sh!T I've done
 
At my age I have about 30 stories that I cant even remember. lol
enjoy life and hopefully it doesn't kill you.
Note: looking back at a lot of crap I did I wouldn't recommend to anyone.
 
Studhorse said:
At my age I have about 30 stories that I cant even remember. lol
enjoy life and hopefully it doesn't kill you.
Note: looking back at a lot of crap I did I wouldn't recommend to anyone.
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At least not in this time and day. back then there wasent anything a shot wouldnt take care of if you know what I mean.
 
the time the Eisenhower went to Egypt and a bunch of us got drunk and decided to see the pyramids, a guy passed out in the road and got pissed on by a camel...I still get a laugh at that one.


lol...I guess you had to be there:lmao:
 
thebigt said:
the time the Eisenhower went to Egypt and a bunch of us got drunk and decided to see the pyramids, a guy passed out in the road and got pissed on by a camel...I still get a laugh at that one.


lol...I guess you had to be there:lmao:
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oh no I can see that one! LMFAO!!!!!!
I like how you said some guy.
 
ryane87 wants to do things to Bea Arthur. This picture will get him all sorts of twitterpated.

Invalid Link Removed
 
You made me walk around work inappropriate because if that pic. I thank you, good sir
 
Brandinooooo said:
I got matched with a tranny on Tinder the other day. So wrong lol.
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Hey some trannys are hotter than most women are nowadays .

On a side note I really do wonder how many men would press go with a hot Tran if they knew nobody would find out
 
rtmilburn said:
Ok guys time for my ambien story!!!!!

So I was out partying smoking weed had some preworkout to keep me up. The party ended WAY earlier then I thought, so I took a double dose of ambien(legally prescribed to me). I laid in bed playing some Katy Perry, yes I listen to Katy Perry when high idk why but Katy Perrys music while high is the sh!t! Well next thing I know I'm 3 hours away from my places at my friend's house. He woke me up and told what a crazy night last night was. He was saying how we stole a street sign (it's a highway 69 sign no joke the road next me is called highway 69). Got caught by cop who apparently thought that it was funny and didn't care. Then egged my old highschool principles house. Fuk my ex girlfriend. Then passed out on his couch while playing video games. I don't remember literally any of it so naturally I thought he was lying until I found the sign in my garage and had my ex text me about how amazing last night was.
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This is a very convincing advertisement for taking ambien .
 
UnicornDrpns said:
Hey some trannys are hotter than most women are nowadays .

On a side note I really do wonder how many men would press go with a hot Tran if they knew nobody would find out
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Sad sad truth. And it was too good looking. I'm gonna need a full medical write up from now on.
 
Guess im not cool enough to be on the list. its ok. i understand..lol
 
Subbed.
 
This thread name typo still cracks me up...
 
Okay. I'm technically not part of the family and it's not that funny, but it is embaressing here goes. Those of you who remember I love cars, weather it is building, racing, drifting, whatever I do it all. So my daily driver is a mapped OPC with Viper exhausts. It only has about 150kw as it is fwd (not good for cornering), anyway getting away from myself. The point is it is a manual. ALL MY CARS ARE MANUAL. So the OPC had to go in for new rings and don't have the time or tools to do it. My sister has a BMW 235i AUTO. So i'm just driving along when some arrogant kid with a loud exhaust pulls up next to me and keeps revving. So I flick sport and decide I'm going to kick his ass :D. I mean he has a 1.4 Golf with an exhaust. So light turns green and I launch as the revs go into red my left foot goes for clutch and hits dead ABS, switching my neck vertebra around, while he drives off. Needless to say I just took the long way home and avoided stopping next to him at the next traffic light.
 
UnicornDrpns said:
This thread name typo still cracks me up...
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It's not necessarily a typo. You might have noticed that subjects tend to change at a fairly rapid rate. If you don't check in regularly, it gets pretty confusing. Hey look, it's a duck!
 
Alpha1agreda said:
It'll be included with every order. I believe you have every episode already thou don't you ? Lol
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Except the one I had in the tub with me. If something isn't waterproof, there ought to be a label. I'm just saying
 
jakz said:
Okay. I'm technically not part of the family and it's not that funny, but it is embaressing here goes. Those of you who remember I love cars, weather it is building, racing, drifting, whatever I do it all. So my daily driver is a mapped OPC with Viper exhausts. It only has about 150kw as it is fwd (not good for cornering), anyway getting away from myself. The point is it is a manual. ALL MY CARS ARE MANUAL. So the OPC had to go in for new rings and don't have the time or tools to do it. My sister has a BMW 235i AUTO. So i'm just driving along when some arrogant kid with a loud exhaust pulls up next to me and keeps revving. So I flick sport and decide I'm going to kick his ass :D. I mean he has a 1.4 Golf with an exhaust. So light turns green and I launch as the revs go into red my left foot goes for clutch and hits dead ABS, switching my neck vertebra around, while he drives off. Needless to say I just took the long way home and avoided stopping next to him at the next traffic light.
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Lmao. The fcck is an OPS?

I love building cars. And destroying my knuckles in the process.
 
jakz said:
Okay. I'm technically not part of the family and it's not that funny, but it is embaressing here goes. Those of you who remember I love cars, weather it is building, racing, drifting, whatever I do it all. So my daily driver is a mapped OPC with Viper exhausts. It only has about 150kw as it is fwd (not good for cornering), anyway getting away from myself. The point is it is a manual. ALL MY CARS ARE MANUAL. So the OPC had to go in for new rings and don't have the time or tools to do it. My sister has a BMW 235i AUTO. So i'm just driving along when some arrogant kid with a loud exhaust pulls up next to me and keeps revving. So I flick sport and decide I'm going to kick his ass :D. I mean he has a 1.4 Golf with an exhaust. So light turns green and I launch as the revs go into red my left foot goes for clutch and hits dead ABS, switching my neck vertebra around, while he drives off. Needless to say I just took the long way home and avoided stopping next to him at the next traffic light.
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That is some funny sh it! I can see that.
Kind of like a few weeks ago when I replaced my master cylinder in my 4x4 that hardly gets driven. remind you It has been out for like 3 years. when I took off and 1st time and hit the brakes I about went through the windshield. My buddies had a good laugh.
 
Brandinooooo said:
Lmao. The fcck is an OPS?

I love building cars. And destroying my knuckles in the process.
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Vauxhall (Opel in my country) Corsa OPC. It's their little hot hatch with the 1.6 T
 
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This is the Opel. Will post pictures of the racing/drifting car later.
 
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