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Women and relationships

Yeah most guys have this rule if she lets you in on the first date, do not call back. And when we break this rule we end up married then divorced after she gets knocked up by another guy or shares an std, or in my case both.
 
Oscar said:
Yeah most guys have this rule if she lets you in on the first date, do not call back. And when we break this rule we end up married then divorced after she gets knocked up by another guy or shares an std, or in my case both.
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Oh wow, talk about drama!
 
Oscar said:
Yeah, smh I've taken a vow of celibacy to avoid future drama.
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I'm staying abstinent because 2015 is all about me and nobody else. :)
 
Well I'm in a pickle

Read my girls phone, saw a msg from her ex read earlier messages just being cautious and saw that they apparently caught up while we are together. I told my gf that a little birdie told me along the grape vine and that they caught up. She admitted that he has tried talking to her but guaranteed/promised that they never met up as they worked for the same company but different areas as well as a few hours apart. I trust her.

She questioned me about who told me. I had to come up with a cover story. Now she wants me to find out who. She asked if I read her phone. I said no. She has asked I go through her Facebook friends to try and find out who it is.

Any advice?
 
EBF_2356 said:
Well I'm in a pickle

Read my girls phone, saw a msg from her ex read earlier messages just being cautious and saw that they apparently caught up while we are together. I told my gf that a little birdie told me along the grape vine and that they caught up. She admitted that he has tried talking to her but guaranteed/promised that they never met up as they worked for the same company but different areas as well as a few hours apart. I trust her.

She questioned me about who told me. I had to come up with a cover story. Now she wants me to find out who. She asked if I read her phone. I said no. She has asked I go through her Facebook friends to try and find out who it is.

Any advice?
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Why did you feel the need to read her phone?
 
Probably a natural response I'm guessing she had an iPhone that previews the message and you saw who it was from? If not and you went into the phone idk
 
Abe Lincoln said:
Probably a natural response I'm guessing she had an iPhone that previews the message and you saw who it was from? If not and you went into the phone idk
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No. I looked. She looked through mine the other day and didn't think I knew. I had nothing to hide
 
EBF_2356 said:
No. I looked. She looked through mine the other day and didn't think I knew. I had nothing to hide
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That is quite the pickle. Do you know where they met up at?
 
Would have been for lunch at her work. She promised they didn't meet up so I trust her.

It's the fact I now need to work out "who" the "birdie" was that is the issue. There is no birdie. It was me looking through the phone
 
EBF_2356 said:
Would have been for lunch at her work. She promised they didn't meet up so I trust her.

It's the fact I now need to work out "who" the "birdie" was that is the issue. There is no birdie. It was me looking through the phone
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Dude I think your caught lol. Might as well come clean than try to spin a web of lies because sooner or later it'll bite ya. Tell her your sorry and that you value trust and that you trust her and shouldn't have done it. My .02 centa
 
fightbackhxc said:
Dude I think your caught lol. Might as well come clean than try to spin a web of lies because sooner or later it'll bite ya. Tell her your sorry and that you value trust and that you trust her and shouldn't have done it. My .02 centa
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Oh ****e
 
Tell her the truth but don't tell her that you know she went through your phone. She'll think you did it out of revenge...
 
Just say you read a message on her phone, thinking it might have been important.

Oh and say sorry like you really mean it, perhaps offer to take her out for a nice evening by way of an apology.
 
Did you note that I gave a cover story?
 
EBF_2356 said:
Oh ****e
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It seems as though she cares enough as she is wanting to find out who is potentially trying to cause a rift beyween you two.

I dont know how you can back outta this one
 
Sounds similar to the situation I was recently in, as long as they weren't flirting and such I wouldn't worry too much yet... But that's just my opinion.
 
Neither one of you trust eachother and neither one of you tell eachother the truth. Great foundation for a relationship. Everything about this is immature. Yet you live together. LOL! I give it 120 days at best before this unharmoniously desolves.
 
ajbogs said:
Sounds similar to the situation I was recently in, as long as they weren't flirting and such I wouldn't worry too much yet... But that's just my opinion.
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Nah
 
EBF_2356 said:
Well I'm in a pickle

Read my girls phone, saw a msg from her ex read earlier messages just being cautious and saw that they apparently caught up while we are together. I told my gf that a little birdie told me along the grape vine and that they caught up. She admitted that he has tried talking to her but guaranteed/promised that they never met up as they worked for the same company but different areas as well as a few hours apart. I trust her.

She questioned me about who told me. I had to come up with a cover story. Now she wants me to find out who. She asked if I read her phone. I said no. She has asked I go through her Facebook friends to try and find out who it is.

Any advice?
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Dude, F that tell her its a lil birdie you don't give out the name of your source and tell her to back off it shouldn't matter where you were "told" this info even tho you found it. Fact is you just asked her a question. She first off should've been letting ya know what her douche ex is trying to pull and came to you and let ya know what's happening at work. I wouldn't say you went through the phone... Unless ya want to try something else out. IDEA you could tell her you went through it, see if she puts a password on her phone, or changes the already on there password that's a shady move, and if you tell her you did you can later go back through her phone see if she deleted any texts or there's gaps in the convo to see if she's hiding something bro. if your having trust issues you got to figure out if you really trust her, or how you can again learn to trust her
 
She dropped the issue and doesn't want to deal with it anymore and is happy now. All good.
She apologized and said she will from now on tell me all details about everything and apologized for not telling me that he wanted to catch up
 
David Dunn said:
Neither one of you trust eachother and neither one of you tell eachother the truth. Great foundation for a relationship. Everything about this is immature. Yet you live together. LOL! I give it 120 days at best before this unharmoniously desolves.
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I'm glad op got it straight, but Dunn nailed it! If anyone is thinking about marriage, think about what this man said.
 
Do you guys have "secret" female friends?!


I have a few friends who have girlfriends but they don't know about me. It's not like we do anything bad. We talk / text everyday about life, goals, school, relationships, and just bs. I guess if I was their girlfriend, I wouldn't want my boyfriend talking to any other girl either. I don't know, it's such a grey area....
 
puccah8808 said:
Do you guys have "secret" female friends?! I have a few friends who have girlfriends but they don't know about me. It's not like we do anything bad. We talk / text everyday about life, goals, school, relationships, and just bs. I guess if I was their girlfriend, I wouldn't want my boyfriend talking to any other girl either. I don't know, it's such a grey area....
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Don't think my GF would like it that's for sure, but we both have male and female friends who we talk to of course... Just not text.
 
puccah8808 said:
Do you guys have "secret" female friends?!

I have a few friends who have girlfriends but they don't know about me. It's not like we do anything bad. We talk / text everyday about life, goals, school, relationships, and just bs. I guess if I was their girlfriend, I wouldn't want my boyfriend talking to any other girl either. I don't know, it's such a grey area....
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Those are the kinds of things that can erode a relationship. Even if they're not completely secret, but there's constant contact you don't know about it, can be harmful. My case is kind of extreme because of the jealousy and trust issues my cheating ex wife created in me, but even in people with normal levels of trust and jealously they can still have a negative overall impact on a relationship.
 
grinnell27 said:
Don't think my GF would like it that's for sure, but we both have male and female friends who we talk to of course... Just not text.
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mountainman33 said:
Those are the kinds of things that can erode a relationship. Even if they're not completely secret, but there's constant contact you don't know about it, can be harmful. My case is kind of extreme because of the jealousy and trust issues my cheating ex wife created in me, but even in people with normal levels of trust and jealously they can still have a negative overall impact on a relationship.
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Thank you, I completely understand. I'm pretty open when I'm in a relationship. I'll usually tell my s/o about my friends and the crazy conversations we have. But from a gf's point of view, I'd want my bf to come to me with everything, not go to another girl.
 
Just a tip here guys and gals...if ever think to yourself "WHAT A ****ING BITCH! .....but then again..I love her so much " while in a fight....you're in a long term relationship. Congtatz! This is like the billion fight with my wife . she's a bitch...but she's my bitch and I would be a bitch without her.

That sounded more Romantic in my head.
 
pyrobatt said:
Just a tip here guys and gals...if ever think to yourself "WHAT A ****ING BITCH! .....but then again..I love her so much " while in a fight....you're in a long term relationship. Congtatz! This is like the billion fight with my wife . she's a bitch...but she's my bitch and I would be a bitch without her. That sounded more Romantic in my head.
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You fight hard but you love harder...
 
pyrobatt said:
Just a tip here guys and gals...if ever think to yourself "WHAT A ****ING BITCH! .....but then again..I love her so much " while in a fight....you're in a long term relationship. Congtatz! This is like the billion fight with my wife . she's a bitch...but she's my bitch and I would be a bitch without her.

That sounded more Romantic in my head.
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"I want to love you more than I want to hate you!!!!" **

I'm almost 20 years into this marriage.

** my bride's motto that I have learned to live by. I've been the unlovable one far too many more times in the passed yet I have learned that I need to love as I have been love!!!!
 
My friend and her husband separated and have been living apart for over a year. 5 months into the separation, he comes running back to her saying that he made a mistake but he doesn't want to live together just yet. Fast forward and they've been trying to work it out since last July. Every time they fight, he runs away. This last time, he didn't speak to her for a few days then he texted her saying that he was sorry and wanted to come over to make up and plan their future together. She waited for him and he never showed up and never picked up the phone. Today, she finally hears from him and he told her that he lied. He actually wanted to come over and break it off for good. He was just trying to kiss her a** so she would let him come over.

Omg! I wanted to beat his a** up! Just man the F up and say something! He told her that he couldn't be a man around her because of all her accomplishments. The F?!


Side note: I talked about a friend of mine who was dating a dbag that was hitting on me, and how she wouldn't stop dating him. She told me that she was going out to dinner with him last night and I said, "why?!??!? You make me feel horrible!" She said, "it's not like I'm dating him, it's only dinner and don't think he's bad, he was just drunk!" Well, fcuk you and fcuk this "friendship" we had. This stupid a** dinner must have been worth our friendship!

Rant over....
 
kisaj said:
I hear these stories and realize what a catch I was for my wife. :)
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I must agree I felt the same thing!

My mind is constantly shocked at just how low the maturity level of some so-called adults is these days. I haven't read this whole thread, but have kept up on most of it, and much of this **** is totally wild and ridiculous!
 
Oscar said:
went on a date with a nice girl yesterday, made me realize that's not what I want right now. so I wrote a rhyme about it

I want a bad b1tch not a good woman
wanna suck my d*** when her n*gga ain't lookin
body so hot like I been cooking
crack an evil grin c*m drippin from her chin
then I make her spin
hit it from the back and I give that a** a slap
but I gotta wrap it up cause I don't want the clap.
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You must be on some pretty cool meds.
 
Oscar said:
went on a date with a nice girl yesterday, made me realize that's not what I want right now. so I wrote a rhyme about it

I want a bad b1tch not a good woman
wanna suck my d*** when her n*gga ain't lookin
body so hot like I been cooking
crack an evil grin c*m drippin from her chin
then I make her spin
hit it from the back and I give that a** a slap
but I gotta wrap it up cause I don't want the clap.
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You make quite the role model. I bet your mom is proud of you.
 
Things ended with my x girl today after 5 years. After reading many articles it seems the best thing to do is never go back. In hindsight i can now see so many red flags but never thought much of it. Hopefully no sadness comes..im a bit upbeat today and have been not myself for the last couple of years (looking less after health and less social)
 
Yes exactly. I have been doing alright. The reason it ended is because she doesnt want me in her life so why would I want to go back to someone who doesnt want me? Having this in my head has made things much easier than my last breakup when I had no self respect.
 
One of the best lessons I've learned is to never rebound either. Use the time to focus on yourself and figure out what you really want. And maybe do something you wouldn't be able to do while in a relationship
 
Thanks for the words really appreciate it :-) i am going to focus on work and reconnecting with old friends i lost contact with as well as getting the physique i want
 
aver4581 said:
Thanks for the words really appreciate it :-) i am going to focus on work and reconnecting with old friends i lost contact with as well as getting the physique i want
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Good plan. It can be hard to focus on yourself when you're trying to save something that simply can't be fixed. Some time spent having fun and investing in yourself is always good.
 
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