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Alright fellas, need some input

Rodja

Rodja

Board Sponsor
In what almost seems like an eternity ago, I was a very active competitor in MMA. From May '07-July '08, I competed 6 times before starting grad school. Since then, my training has been sporadic, at best, due to time constraints. I have, however, helped out several training partners for their respective fights over the past year or so.

One of those guys is competing in an amateur event in late June and he let me know about a professional event in mid-July. He has connections with the promoter and can get me on the card if I desire.

My reservation is two-fold: first, which is obvious, is getting back into real fight-shape. I'm in great gym-shape, but the cardio demands are not even comparable. The main thing I would have going for me is that I would not have to really diet down to make weight. I could just eat clean and be fine. Another thing that I have going for me is that I have done this several times before; granted, its been awhile, but I know what I would have to do to get back to where I need to be.

My second reservation is that this is would be the first camp that I would be a part of while with my wife. I have talked it over to her and she has given me the ok, but she really doesn't know what it fully entails. We don't get to spend nearly as much time together as I want as is and this will only exacerbate that. Mainly, I'm worried about putting her through the grind.

I've been itching to get back in there and I'm really torn whether or not to fully commit to it because, once I do, there is no turning back.
 
I went through the same thing but my sport was baseball. Ultimately it cost me the first true love of my life and left me injuried with going back never a thought since I have my own career now.

If you're in a new marriage an have solidified the relationship through previous years of dating I don't see much of a problem since you should know each other very well. Of not I would really look at what u value more because in the end we might now be able to have both...honestly. Keep us updated.
 
Rodja said:
In what almost seems like an eternity ago, I was a very active competitor in MMA. From May '07-July '08, I competed 6 times before starting grad school. Since then, my training has been sporadic, at best, due to time constraints. I have, however, helped out several training partners for their respective fights over the past year or so.

One of those guys is competing in an amateur event in late June and he let me know about a professional event in mid-July. He has connections with the promoter and can get me on the card if I desire.

My reservation is two-fold: first, which is obvious, is getting back into real fight-shape. I'm in great gym-shape, but the cardio demands are not even comparable. The main thing I would have going for me is that I would not have to really diet down to make weight. I could just eat clean and be fine. Another thing that I have going for me is that I have done this several times before; granted, its been awhile, but I know what I would have to do to get back to where I need to be.

My second reservation is that this is would be the first camp that I would be a part of while with my wife. I have talked it over to her and she has given me the ok, but she really doesn't know what it fully entails. We don't get to spend nearly as much time together as I want as is and this will only exacerbate that. Mainly, I'm worried about putting her through the grind.

I've been itching to get back in there and I'm really torn whether or not to fully commit to it because, once I do, there is no turning back.
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You need to really explain to her that you won't be there. This is your main concern, make sure she understands fully, what it entails. This will also help you to keep your head clear during training as well as during the fight. No distractions

I commend you on you're concern for your family over you passion for fighting.
 
God first, then family, then career. So I would say if you have a good thing going with your wife value that over wanting to get back in the ring. The thing is if you made the effort to post that you have reservations about doing because of your marriage than you obviously value your marriage more. So its sort of like you know you want to do it but you know that it may cause problems with your spouse. Maybe stick with what your doing now since it seems to be working for you.
 
MrBigPR said:
I would really look at what u value more because in the end we might now be able to have both...honestly. Keep us updated.
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I would have to agree.

All thoughts now are about the both of you, and all decisions and outcomes will ultimately effect the both of you in one way or another.

Just because she given the "okay", doesn't mean shes truly on-board. I'm sure she feels like she doesn't want to hold you back from doing something that YOU are passionate about.

You have to do some soul searching. If you really want this, then go for it.

On the other hand, if this is something that is not going to benefit your new family, then it might not be worth the sacrifices.
 
Unless your girl was with you in the beginning or during your fight days I think it's a bad idea. The focus and time you need for fighting might push her away. Sometimes in life we have to do the right thing over our own happiness. Marriage is all about self sacrifice. And as the saying goes "happy wife happy life". You don't wanna have the idea that she's not happy in the back of your head when your fighting.
 
This one fight camp is not going to destroy my marriage. Our relationship is string enough that 8 weeks of not seeing each other as much as we do now will not have any long-term ramifications. She has told me several times that she does not want me to not fight because of her. She knows that MMA is still a huge part of my life and right now is probably going to be the best time for me to get in this fight.
 
Rodja said:
This one fight camp is not going to destroy my marriage. Our relationship is string enough that 8 weeks of not seeing each other as much as we do now will not have any long-term ramifications. She has told me several times that she does not want me to not fight because of her. She knows that MMA is still a huge part of my life and right now is probably going to be the best time for me to get in this fight.
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Then it sounds like you came to a decision.
 
go for it bro. we the men always need to keep fueling the fire that burns inside. you obviously love MMA and you are good at it. you married the girl so she would be there for you at every point in life, not just when its convenient. dont waste these high testosterone years so you can wonder later down the road what your true potential was. go out there and smash some dudes in the mouth because if she had a passion, that burning fire to do what she loves...im sure you would wholeheartedly support her.
 
I start camp today and I'll know pretty damn fast whether or not my body will hold up to the grind. I'll be updating my training log starting tonight.
 
I was worried about things when I was first dispatched to the other side of the world to do things that I could only tell my wife that I had to, "do work." However, I soon realized that there is a reason why I put a ring on her finger and I trusted our love to endure. It worked, and made me more appreciative of her love for me that I vowed to always support her in everything she does, no matter what.

You still have a desire to fight, so fight. Just meditate (or pray if you're religious), and trust the end result. One life; have no regrets.
 
if you question whether or not its fair to the wife then its probably not. its ok for all of us to have our own interests/hobbies but if its gonna take away what little time you already have with your wife then id say its not fair unless shes involved or behind it 100%
 
ill throw this out there for you also.

men cheat or have affairs because its pre-programmed to conquer and move on or because the woman was just too freakin hot to pass up.

women in general cheat or have affairs due to neglect from an emotional stand point. dont forget that fact when your spending countless hours and weeks and then months on end with the boys
 
One of my good friends is a pro MMA fighter. The way him and his wife handle it is that she goes to his training with him when she can. Not saying it doesn't put a strain on things, but they make the time they do have together count. That's what you gotta do is make the time you spend with her be quality. We are never promised tomorrow so make it count today. Good luck with training and your fight!
 
I went through a similar thing and my girl stuck by my side. Now that we've been through it I know my relationship is strong and that she's the best I'll ever have. A real keeper. I think that since you have a "green light" part of the fight is won. Having your family support you will keep your head clear for training. Good luck.
 
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